#maybe the real romantic fantasy is that you can have the rewards of being loved without submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known#or that the being known can be so incremental you're like a frog in boiling water and having life changing orgasms the whole time#also consider: love is the quality of attention we pay to things
^^^ the original tags, as i once again think about shane "this is such a bad idea" and "no we can't we have a game tomorrow" and "nooo ilya don't suck my dick while i'm on the phone with hayden unrelatedly i'm going to move so my dick is more accessible. for no reason" and how he montesorri bdsm spontaneously reinvents free use and cnc out of his own beautiful mind
@ticklefighthockey: unvoiced longing to cede control to an aggressor-savior who in enacting his depraved sexual desires upon your passive body fulfills your deepest most monstrous needs while ensuring you are never forced to acknowledge those needs out loud.
how can i get what i want without admitting i want it. if i don't admit i want it, it's ok if i don't get it. it's ok if i don't get it, because no one can know i want it. @lesbianhallieparker: if you want-want what you want-want, then you want it, you can't hide what you desire once you're on it!!
and ilya thrives on paying attention to shane's desires, figuring him out, pushing him, embarrassing him, winding him up until he asks (begs) for what he wants. being curious about shane is slow puzzle feeder enrichment time for him (see: two years of sexting, vegas bathroom scene, "you know" "tell me" "you. i need you")
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