From Simon's perspective, this scene had to be incredibly eye-opening. Wille is fully surrounded with the choir behind him, the press to his right, classmates and alumni to his left, his parents and the royal court straight ahead. Guards and faculty are lurking. He's fully exposed with nowhere left to hide.
And Simon, standing in the choir right behind the podium, can finally see from Wille’s perspective. He can feel the eyes of the queen and the royal court. The principal. And it’s terrifying. The frame switches from a shot of the Queen and the royal court looking at Wille expectantly to a nervous Simon, who is absorbing the gaze. All of their classmates are looking and the press are preparing for their shots. He understands the pressure that Wille has been under.
Somewhere inside, Simon feels like he was incredibly foolish to ever expect Wille to face up to all of this for him. He eyes queen’s teary-eyed smile at the mention of Erik. Feels more than sees the levers on which the Queen could pull to change Wille's mind. And then Simon sees the Queen and August exchange a look when Wille goes off script.
When Wille is finally honest, the gestures coming from the Royal court, together with all of the camera flashes, startle Simon. Their friends, even, are staring. Simon freezes. There are so many cameraphones—is the entirety of the third year class filming?
And Wille just did that for him. Simon finally understands the weight of what he's been asking Wille to do this entire time—understands that Wille didn’t do what he did because he didn’t love Simon, but because he was in an impossible position. Which he just made impossible for himself for Simon. Even though Simon didn't even ask him to; Simon just told Wille that he's wiling to be a secret.
Wille does this because he knew that’s what Simon needs. He faces up to all of this horrifying pressure and attention and relentless examination for Simon. Because he can't let Simon sacrifice himself—his unflappable self-worth, his honesty, his integrity—to go into hiding with Wille. As much as that's exactly what Wille thought he wanted. And he does this right in the moment where it becomes obvious to Simon why Wille did things the way he had. Simon understands exactly what it means that Wille is willing to face up all of this for him.
Then the song comes in with, "And you loved me; I could feel it." Because Simon realizes just how fucking much Wille loves him to go through with this in the face of the monarchy, the press, their peers, the fucking world. Even after Simon takes off all of the pressure on his side and agrees to remain a secret, Wille chooses the parts of Simon that Simon himself was willing to give up over the easy choice. Wille isn't choosing himself in this decision—he's not even choosing himself and Simon, who will inevitably face blowback in the aftermath—he's just choosing Simon. The truest version of Simon who he fell in love with.
I'm very new to this fandom, so this has probably been pointed out before. I just can't stop watching the show....
jacobvanloon
germansingergirl
annaxmalina
vaporwave
izzy806
