the way he goes about things, still being polite, is so much worse, than if he had sunk to seb’s level, said something at least mean, if not worse, in return. but at least what he does say is still honest, like sebastien had asked for. at least he’s giving him something more than saying it’s fine when it clearly wasn’t. seb doesn’t care about being on good terms with bash, it’s never been something on his radar since he’s only been competition, he’s only ever been the other in seb’s relationships to date, other than with liam. “so then be angry about it,” he returns, setting his own glass back on the counter, to lean forward, frustration bleeding into his words. “be upset. pour l'amour du christ, do not just act like everything is fine and good when you are not happy with me. it is disingenuous, it does neither of us any favors.” and he can speak from experience there, from their discussion at the party — pretending they get along, that they can be friendly, doesn’t help anything but prevent drama for the cameras. “it is not about winning, bash. he is not a prize, and it is not a competition,” he says, like a liar, but at least he’s a good one. will the audience believe him? not a chance in hell, with his past behaviors, but it’s about appearances. “i am acting like this because you would rather pretend you have no issue with it. and it is merde, it is bullshit. if you have bad feelings towards me, i would rather know that than you put on whatever mask you keep on for the cameras. you have done this the entire time.”
some part of him recognizes that nana’s exit was also, in a very direct way, telling bash he wasn’t worth staying for either. that whatever it was that he thought the two of them had was not real enough for her to stay, it wasn’t just seb hurt there. it’s not like his actions with rhys were out of any type of revenge, and he doesn’t want to even give the impression of that when he’s sure that narrative already exists. so he’ll leave her out of it. “and did you not do the same?” he asks, almost rhetorically. “rhys and i kissed well before the recoupling. twice, even. it was not a secret, and you really did not think i was interested in him? and yet you still went after him. is that not the same?” bash didn’t owe him anything, nor does seb think he did, but he hates the idea that he’ll get painted as if he’s the only one wrong here. as if either of them knew the other’s relationship with rhys. it wasn’t like either kiss of theirs, prior to casa amor, was hidden, though. it was all painfully public. “c'est malhonnête.”
be angry about it. he should be angry about it. he should be furious with seb. but he’s genuinely not angry. maybe there’s a language barrier of some kind but there is a difference in bash’s eyes between being angry and being upset. and he was the latter. it stung, yeah, but he wasn’t the kind to carry around anger with him. even when he had every right to feel angry. and right now? he didn’t really feel the right to feel angry but he did feel the right to feel disappointed. “i’m not angry at you. i’m not angry at all. i’m upset, there’s a difference. i’m disappointed in the way things turned out. i’m disappointed at the situation, not a particular person.” bash doesn’t know how this isn’t obvious. didn’t rhys talk to seb about their talk last night? it all pretty much boiled down to bash not having any hard feelings but still being disappointed. “i’m not being disingenuous. if you make rhys happy, i am genuinely happy about that. but that doesn’t mean i’m not allowed to be...sad.” saying that word sounds unnatural coming from bash. “and just because i’m sad about the situation doesn’t mean i’m gonna be a dick and take it out on you. like i said, i don’t think anyone was in the wrong so i’m not mad at anyone. i meant it when i said no hard feelings but you clearly don’t believe me for whatever reason.”
and talking with him more about that topic is futile, bash thinks. seb has whatever idea of bash in his head so that he can somehow justify the way he acts towards him. but bash uncharacteristically doesn’t care how seb views him. “i actually...i actually didn’t know that, i was pretty caught up in my own thing with nana before and then, i dunno, rhys said that thing in the challenge and i figured i should go for it. so if that upset you, me going after him, i’m sorry. it wasn’t my intention.” see how easy that was? is what he wanted to say after but he bit his tongue.
