My hidden talent is that I can accurately get a piece of parchment paper cut to the exact size of the pan I'm using
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we're not kids anymore.

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One Nice Bug Per Day

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YOU ARE THE REASON

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@basilbea
My hidden talent is that I can accurately get a piece of parchment paper cut to the exact size of the pan I'm using
Never gonna get over the fact that, if you smile around them enough, goats will give you goofy little grins
Day two of adding coffee to recipes that don't need it:
DO NOT ADD TO MERINGUE COOKIES
Not only was it off, but everyone I had taste test it said it tastes burnt/ashy. I used two teaspoons of it and I added it before I got it fluffy and added sugar
I didn't think it was inedible but it was definitely not very good and I advise to not follow in my footsteps for I will lead you astray in my quests for eternal wakefulness
(note: it was premade cold brew (I dont even like coffee so I stole it from my family) from Walmart I think)
Iām not Christian, I donāt go to church anymore, and my pastor died, but when he was alive Iād sometimes go to his sermons and I remember one time he said āit feels good to hate, but we know that it isnāt allowed, so when weāre told that weāre allowed to hate someone we get so excited that we forget weāre supposed to loveā, and if my humble atheist ass might borrow some church talk Iād like to perhaps submit that
I think this could also apply to our opinions on ourselves as well. There's so much encouragement to be kind to other people, but even when people tell you to do the same with yourself, it can be difficult to justify it.
Even with small things. when's the last time you thought someone was stupid because they didn't do perfectly on a test? When's the last time when you remember thinking someone's outfit looked horrible? Tell me a time where you honestly felt that one of your friends was deeply annoying you with just their presence?
The answers to these questions don't exist because we only think that way about ourselves. We think we're allowed to hate ourselves because "no one's getting hurt" but we are getting hurt, and the people who love us are getting hurt
so remember we're supposed to love for everyone's sake, including our own
It's all fun and games answering the phone as a hotline of various purposes until someone saves your number as that specific hotline and calls you to actually use it for that purpose
It's definitely presumptuous and probably annoying to everyone whos had this happen to them but,
When you tell someone where you're from and they say a name of a random ass person that's a friend of a friend of theirs who lives round there but you actually know the guy, its gotta be some kind of religious experience
You know it's bad when your love letter reaches the double thousand digits
My shame
You know it's bad when your love letter reaches the double thousand digits
I once knew an older woman who once confided in me that most times when she compliments other people, it's because she initially thought poorly of whatever she commented on
If she saw a girl in a short skirt and tank top, shed tell her that her outfit was cute
If she thought a girl's singing voice was terrible (but y'know not like absolutely atrocious cause then the person would be able to know she was lying), shed compliment her on it
She explained that she did this because she felt like she was correcting her inside thoughts and was improving herself by deliberately choosing to be nice, but now any time anyone compliments me, the first thought that crosses my mind is to never participate in that act again because they really hated me doing it and only mentioned it because they desperately want me to stop
Houston we have a problem
See there was a MASSIVE truly terrifying fuck off huge spider in my shower last night, and I was okay well I'm not gonna take a shower tonight anyway so we're chill, but I come in today and he's gone
I was prepared with a cup, a piece of paper, and courage, but he just disappeared! No spider has been able to escape my shower before which is even more worrying because one, where/how did he go? And two, did he truly leave??
I have to take a shower but I'm also near sighted so what if I dont see him approach before it's too late? What if this is wraps for me? Remember me
Im so sorry that I love you
I know you can't stay, I know you have to leave, and I know you can't come back. But I love you anyway and I'm so so sorry for it
And I'm sorry that I can't let you forgive me
Ever been so in love with someone that even the thought of them possibly making you upset is nerve wracking?
Like, what if they call someone a slut and I have to bitch slap them and never speak to them again, that'd be devastating
Y'know I sometimes wonder if I'm more patient with some people because I love them or because I want them to love me and patience is the only thing I can always safely give
No you don't understand
So like one of my friends whom I respect very much and enjoy the approval of needed to log into his college account, but we were driving through a national park so his phone wasn't cooperating.
Being the amazing friend that I am, I tell him I still have a connection and I'm happy to let him use my phone
It was only after I got it back after a long pause that I realized my fatal flaw:
TELL ME HOW IM SUPPOSED TO STILL BE MYSTERIOUS WHEN HE NOW KNOWS I NEEDED TO LOOK UP REFERENCE PICTURES FOR A DAMN PICNIC TABLE
Tell me how I can look this man in the eye after he saw evidence of me googling "is there a way to freeze juice and not have the concentrate separate?".
My reputation points are severely in the negatives bro, I'm just lucky that calculator history isn't exposed like a nudist in downtown New York because if it was then it'd just be wraps for me
There exists a certain quality of silence at the end of a good story
A finality that you can't believe but have to accept
The final chord to a symphony that lifted your heart and rocked you gently
You knew it was going to end like this
But you still make room for the silence that follows
Just to sit for a moment
And feel
Endlessly endeared by naming an animal what it's classified as like " hello yes this is my turtle called turtle, witness him for he is small'
Interesting how the energy pyramids teach us that 90% of the food we eat goes into generating heat when I'm STILL FUCKING FREEZING