NANANANNA BATFAM

admin is @dove-among-bats

[batfamchats]

Dick: This family is like me after I've had to chase down Killer Croc in the sewers

Jason: ??????

Dick: A hot mess

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Server: so what would you like to eat today?

Damian: the souls of criminals!

Tim: a bagel

Damian: NO!!!

Tim: Two bagels

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Dick: Hey, Tim! Any advice for Gothamites looking to "pull a Timmy" and stay up for days without sleeping?

[Dick aims his camera phone at Tim's harrowing, pale face, zooming in on the dark circles under his eyes]

Tim: [in an incoherent mumble] Yes, actually. My advice to you is: don't.

Dick: ...You mean, "don't pull all-nighters?"

Tim: No. Don't sleep. Ever. Sleep is a lie. If you fall asleep, you prove yourself to be nothing more than a weak, fallible human... no better than the rest. And the Shadow People will never accept you as one of their own.

[Tim looks beyond the camera into the dark shadows of the batcave]

Tim: [whispers] They're always watching....

Dick: [laughs nervously] Timmy, there's no one here butー

[Tim covers Dick's mouth with his hand quickly, causing the camera to shake as his eyes dart around the room]

Tim: Shh! They'll hear you...

[batfamchats]

Jason: stop

Alfred: Excuse me, Master Jason?

Jason: Stop, take a break, I'm making dinner tonight

Alfred: I do not believe-

Jason: *shooing Alfred out of the kitchen* go, my kitchen now, shoo, shoo

Alfred: Master Jaso-

Jason: shhhhhhhhhh, you do enough, I'm making dinner tonight and you're going to rest

-Later-

Tim: oh wow this is really good!

Damian: for once I agree with you Drake

Jason: *smug*

Alfred: *sighs* Alright Master Jason. Twice a week and no more

Jason: Deal

[batfamchats]

For stuff that isn't chats follow the admin, @dove-among-bats! (headcannon requests currently open, you may even see a convo based on them here!)

[batfamchats]

Dick, after learning about Jason being close with Roy and Kori: Lol, looks like I'm not the only one with a redhead gang now!~

Jason: Yeah but you're only dating one (Babs) Right now, I'm dating two

Bruce: *blinks*

Tim: *spits out drink* wh-

Damian: *falls off of perch on the couch*

Alfred: *stops in his tracks*

Dick: *jaw drops to floor*

Jay: *smug smile*

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Steph: No way! Have you seen him?? he would totally win

Damian: Dream on Brown, it isn't just about brute strength, tactical thinking is very much involved

Steph: You're looking too far into this, there is no way my guy'll lose

Damian: Then I suppose we return our attention to the battle?

Steph: 'Battle' so dramatic

Jason and Tim: *arm Wrestling*

Tim: *wins*

Jason: ????Wait what the fuck???

Steph: .......*slips 50 bucks to Damian*

Damian: *smug*

Steph: you and Tim are a very frightening team, I miss when you fought 24/7

Jason: I second Steph's opinion

Tim: Whatever, common Damian, lets go grab some pizza or something

[batfamchats]

Jason: Here, kid, stay hydrated

Damian: *takes soda can and lifts eyebrow*

Jason: What?

Damian: This bitch empty, YEET *throws soda can and hits Tim in the head*

Tim: WHAT THE FUC-

Jason: *doubled over in laughter* oh god have you been on tumblr

Damian: Hacked Drakes account

Jason: I am such a proud brother hooly sshiiittt *practically on the ground, gasping between peels of laughter*

[batfamchats]

Jason: stop

Alfred: Excuse me, Master Jason?

Jason: Stop, take a break, I'm making dinner tonight

Alfred: I do not believe-

Jason: *shooing Alfred out of the kitchen* go, my kitchen now, shoo, shoo

Alfred: Master Jaso-

Jason: shhhhhhhhhh, you do enough, I'm making dinner tonight and you're going to rest

-Later-

Tim: oh wow this is really good!

Damian: for once I agree with you Drake

Jason: *smug*

Alfred: *sighs* Alright Master Jason. Twice a week and no more

Jason: Deal

[batfamchats]

Tim: I Lo-

Damian: We get it, you love coffee, coffee is your life, coffee is your one true love, you couldn't live without that rich dark bitter caffeinated drink we GET IT YOU LOVE COFFEE, GOD, SHUT UP ALREADY DRAKE

Tim: I was going to say I loath you but that works too

Jason: Oh, damn

[batfamchats]

Tim and Damian: *Working together on a science project for the science fair at Damian's school*

Jason: When did you two start getting along

Tim: After we talked shit out, maybe you and Bruce should try it sometime

Damian: *trying and failing to suppress his snickers*

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Dick: What

Tim: The

Stephanie: Hell

Cass:.....

Damian: *hugging Jason after receiving amazing art supplies from him*

Jason: *smug as fuck smirk* I guess now we know who the best sibling is~

[batfamchats]

Cassandra:......

Jason:......

Cassandra:..........

Jason:........

Cassandra:.....*nods*

Jason: *smirks and nods*

Cassandra and Jason: *rapidly reach out and knock Tim out via pressure points*

Cassandra: Well done...Brother

Jason: Not too shabby yourself, Sis

[batfamchats]

Jay!Bats: -And that's the plan

Dick: Kay li'l bro

Tim and Damian: Pft as if

Jason: Excuse me?

Tim: It's just not feasible Jay! I'm sorry but the science doesn't add up

Damian: While you were prattling on, Drake and I came up with a plan with a much higher probability of success

Jason: *sighs* fine, lets hear it

[batfamchats]

Jason: Here, kid, stay hydrated

Damian: *takes soda can and lifts eyebrow*

Jason: What?

Damian: This bitch empty, YEET *throws soda can and hits Tim in the head*

Tim: WHAT THE FUC-

Jason: *doubled over in laughter* oh god have you been on tumblr

Damian: Hacked Drakes account

Jason: I am such a proud brother hooly sshiiittt *practically on the ground, gasping between peels of laughter*