levimaddenā
He likes the way her fingers feel in his hair, itās soothing. He smiles at her words, shrugging lightly. Heāll say it again and again, because itās true. Thereās a pang in his chest when she turns her head away from him. Sheās right, of course sheās rightĀ ā but Levi doesnāt want to act rationally tonight, is that so bad? Heās being selfish, heās self aware enough to know that, because heās not the only one whoāll have to pick up the pieces after tonight, sheāll be, too.Ā And he hates to be the cause of that.Ā āIs it really a problem?ā he asks quietly, because heād argue loving someone does that to you, renders you unable to think straight, so that doesnāt necessarily make it a bad thing. But maybe, in their case, it unfortunately is, because every time they reunite, they fall back into each otherās arms, knowingly theyāll have to part ways. Itās something they both know and yet they go against every time. He shakes his head and looks down for a moment, letting out a sigh.Ā āI know that it is,ā he agrees now, feeling like heās losing. He eyes look at her hands as they trail down his arms and eventually drop at her sides. Thereās another pang in his heart as a result of her words, but this one is painfulĀ and sharp. Heās experienced heart break before, so he knows this is exactly what heās feeling right now. He also feels like theyāre breaking up, despite never actually dating. He hands drop her from cheeks, tooĀ ā itās probably one of the hardest things he ever had to do and he takes a step back, and he has to look away for a moment, because looking at her hurts. Heās strong enough to pull away, but not strong enough to leave.Ā āFuck, Allie. How am I supposed to ā ā Go back inside and pretend like youāre not in the same room? Like everything that happened now didnāt? He stays quiet because heās smart enough to know his words will only hurt them more and make the situation harder than it already is. He takes another step back and just leans back against the wall, like heās in need of some support.
ā IT'S BECOME INCREASINGLY DIFFICULT TO LOOK HIM IN THE EYES, not just because of how much it'll hurt to see the desperation on his features, but because it's also difficult for her not to get drawn in. after all, she's just opened up to him completely, told him what she's been trying to hold back for a long time : she loves him. and he loves her back. under most other accounts, it should be a celebration, something to be happy about, and she doesn't know why her feelings keep coming up as an inconvenience instead of something to smile about. " i think...for us it is, " she says, " you have a whole life here, levi, you're graduating tomorrow and you...you should be with your friends. celebrating. " she feels GUILTY for taking him away from that, for showing up here at all and she now completely understands why caden regarded her with such apprehension. she doesn't blame him. " supposed to... ? " she furrows her brow at his sentence fragment, not sure what he was going to say. it's becoming increasingly clear, however, that she's going to have to be the one to part ways. she's never had to walk away from something she's wanted to badly, and she gathers every bit of strength within herself to do it, a sharp inhale as she glances back at him, trying not to think about how it could be the last time. " and um, congratulations on that, by the way. i heard about your big mission, too, and i was...i don't know, really proud, " she admits with a smile on her lips. it's only slightly strained when she thinks about how much it proves how different their lives are. allie lingers in the doorway for another second, perhaps a mistake because it gives time for a singular tear to slip down her cheek. " i'm not...super good at this, but, um, good night. " allie can't bring herself to actually say goodbye.








