your girl

bea baxter. dunked in doubt, expelling eye rolls, and creeping through a dark world.

[beabaxtr]

mstatumrichards:

Tatum offered the other a smile. “Buttercream has always been one of my favorites aside from Whipped, and this is a pretty good vegan alternative. We can do a mixture of both buttercream and cream cheese if you’d like.” She leans against the counter as she takes a bite. “What do you think?”

“Whipped frosting?” She echoed, lifting her freehand to wipe at the corner of her. “I didn’t know that was a thing.” Clearly Beatrice had never spent more than five minutes a kitchen -- and she definitely hadn’t been baking. She started to nod, agreeing with the woman’s suggestion. “Both would be good. Maybe two colors of frosting and either color could be buttercream or cream cheese. Still vegan, of course.”

[beabaxtr]

hannahbananabrooksrp:

“Aerated ice cream.” Hannah let out an amused snort. “If they butcher my favorite splurge snack I will be very mad about it. I mean I’ve already had the misfortune of trying some of those 300 calorie ice creams that taste like cardboard and unflavored ice.” The blonde gives a shudder, and then her face shifts into a smile. “You know, speaking of ice cream I could really go for a cone. What about you?”

“Unsurprisingly, there was an indie brand that attempted it, but failed,” she answered with a sage nod. “So your favorite sugary treat may be safe for another day.” Beatrice’s personal weakness had always been chocolate, but she split the difference by always opting for dark chocolate, usually on pretzels or nuts rather than on its own. “Ice cream sounds great actually,” she agreed, flashing Hannah a smile. “I can’t remember the last time I had an actual cone. Do you eat them? I can never manage to finish the whole thing if I get a waffle cone.”

[beabaxtr]

mayaxwilliams:

“Good because I was going to ask you to cancel your plans anyway.” She shrugged, pursing her lips into a sly smirk. “At first, yeah you would trip over but after a while your body will get used to it.” Maya pointed out as they walked. “God I wish I could get drunk easily like I used to. My body is immune to alcohol now. I need at least one bottle to get me drunk.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” There was a curl of a smile on her lips to match Maya’s expression. As they walked, Beatrice shook her head. “Well, I don’t want to become a functioning alcoholic, either, but I’d like to at least be able to drink vodka on the weekend without feeling like I’m dying.”

[beabaxtr]

hannahbananabrooksrp:

Hannah shook her head. “You don’t want corn details, you really truly do not.” She opened her mouth with the intention of stating that she’d never even been to a Trader Joe’s but decided that was too harsh a judgemental dig at the people that did like to shop there. Instead she focused in on the tidbit of advice the brunette shot her way. “Really? I’ll have to scour the shelves at the grocery store the next time I go. Though by the time I get a handle on quinoa there will be a new It healthy food.”

“You can find it on Amazon, too,” she added on, trying to remember the last time she’d seen the pre-cooked quinoa packs in a store. “Otherwise Costco might be your best bet. It’s weird how many organic things come in bulk when they’re prepackaged and not fresh.” Beatrice nodded to agree, her smile taking on an amused edge. “I know, right? I feel like the whole fad of being obsessed with superfoods is already kind of dying out on its own. Maybe everyone will get back into green smoothies or they’ll find some new aerated ice cream.”

[beabaxtr]

laylasandoval: 

       Floundering… 

       Floundering. That’s what she would’ve answered. A fictional shrug happened within after a moment of thought. Even that word alone scared her. Anorexic models aside, the whole metaphor that this whole thing turned into was unsettling at best. Because there was no chance she’d meet her match in an eating disorder or a real need for it considering she’d long lost any chance of gracing a catwalk or pages of a magazine, (plus her schedule never permitted anything but a quick chomp on the nearest pizza joint or multiple energy drinks in the past and snack foods to practically live off of). No, she was well into the exact opposite this familiar dry humored, lasciviously looked at beauty described and it ate at her. Day in and day out. She didn’t have something to strive for anymore, she never really did. Time caught up, even when she’d constantly told herself something would come along, ‘it’s only a couple more months and you’ll get your shit together’, but then…where did the time go? “You mean besides a falafel at 1 a.m. and a gap between your thighs?” It was rhetorical, taking a greedy bite of her own just then. “You know it’s a lot easier said than done…fuck, I mean okay…what if you don’t ever reach those goals, hm? Then what…constantly striving until it becomes a back burner idea?”

She hummed and gave into her midnight cravings with the blonde’s reminder of the still-warm falafel she was holding. Beatrice unrolled the tinfoil, tearing off a chunk of pita bread to look at the vegetarian filling. She shrugged as she started to snack, taking a generous bite. “I think I’d kill myself.” It was a blunt answer, delivered after she finally swallowed. The idea of being a failure -- of being ugly or dumb or, god forbid, both -- was more than enough to make Beatrice hate herself. All her life, the one thing that she’d strived for was success. If she didn’t obsess over the aesthetic and appearance of her apartment quite so much, then she would’ve been one of those girls who pinned self-affirming sticky notes all over the place. But Beatrice liked to think that she wasn’t that weak, either. “Nothing is really impossible,” she continued, her words unusually hopeful for once. “If you work hard enough, put your nose to the grindstone, then it’ll happen, whatever you’re working towards. People are just lazy and unmotivated, though. Always bitching about not having the right resources or needing help.” She scoffed, eyes rolling before she took another bite.

[beabaxtr]

mstatumrichards:

She smiles softly. “It’s a bit different but still great.” At her mention of a taste test she nods and steps back from the counter to search the displace. After a moment she stands holding a tray with a few cupcakes on it. “We don’t generally have samples when its not a wedding or event however I do already have a few made if you’d like to try them. There are two Vanilla and one chocolate if you’d like to try, two have vegan cream cheese frosting and the other is a vegan butter cream.”

“Oh --” When the samples were presented, Beatrice was tempted to ask how long ago they were made. She couldn’t help her constant undercurrent of germaphobic tendencies ever since moving to New York City. Those thoughts were quickly derailed with the other’s explanation, making her finally pocket her phone and step closer to the counter. “Vegan buttercream -- I hadn’t thought of that.” It was definitely more in-line with her own personal taste, so that was what she reached for, sniffing the curl of icing before taking a testing bite.

[beabaxtr]

mayaxwilliams:

“We can go to the Standard. Have lunch first, maybe have few drinks at Le Bain afterwards. You don’t have any plans, do you?” If she had any, Maya would tell her to cancel anyway. Whay could possible be more important than Maya? “Come on, champagne is nothing. You just need a little bit practice, that’s all. Luckily you have me, I can teach you how to survive on anything.” 

“Nope, I’m free,” she answered, already falling into step beside Maya. When she wasn’t letting herself waste away in the library stacks of NYU, the only thing on Beatrice’s agenda was treating herself. She rarely made plans, either, too paranoid about missing out on opportunities that were better, hotter, and more high-profile. What was the point in doing anything if you couldn’t brag about it later? “I’d trip over my own two feet if all I had in me was champagne,” she warned, shaking her head with the start of a smile. “We might want to make that a lot of practice.”

[beabaxtr]

hannahbananabrooksrp:

“That sounds like heaven,” Hannah breathed out with a soft smile. “It’s so hard to get the best of both worlds, the big farmers markets and the giant cookie delivery at midnight.” The blonde gave a delicate shudder at the mention of Whole Foods, crossing her arms against her chest. “I got some corn there once and … yeah … me and Whole Foods are no longer on speaking terms.” Brows furrowed, though her eyes stayed lit with interest. “Shit I can’t even cook quinoa at noon. I’ve tried a few times and it always ends up having this weird soapy aftertaste.”

“Do I even want to ask what happened with the corn?” Beatrice’s nose wrinkled, her thought instantly jumping to bugs and rotting vegetables. She shook her head before continuing, “I at least appreciate that Whole Foods doesn’t try to be quirky like Trader Joe’s, but the East Coast is seriously missing out on my organic food chains.” And she was not about buy fruit from a bodega, either. With a curl of a smile, she started to shake her head. “You can actually find pre-cooked quinoa some places now. It’s more expensive, of course, because all the prep and rinsing is done for you, but yeah -- maybe you’ll avoid that soap taste.”

[beabaxtr]

mayaxwilliams:

“I know, right?” From her demeanor, one might think Maya was born on the top of Eiffel Tower and raised by Swedish nannies but the truth was entirely different. Her mom was a literal white trash from Florida who managed to baby trap a young CEO in a college party. She wasn’t very strange to piss-covered people in filthy places, maybe that’s why homeless people bothered her this much – they reminded me of her past. “God no, these people are not the type of admirers I want. Let’s drop these off at my place, then have a lunch in Meatpacking.”

Beatrice was nodding before Maya had even finished agreeing with her suggestion. “Sounds perfect.” The sooner they were empty-handed, the better. “Did you have somewhere in mind for lunch? -- I don’t know how those women at Darling survive on champagne all day.” Sure, no one wanted to try on a sundress while a sale associate scarfed down a BLT in the corner, but how they sipped bubbly and still teetered around on heels was a mystery to Beatrice. She’d always been a horrible lightweight when it came to alcohol.

[beabaxtr]

mstatumrichards:

“Gotcha I just wanted to confirm.” Writing down on her pad of paper she made a few notes about the order. “Vegan cream cheese is a delight, we’ve got the best recipe in the Borough. I’ll be sure to keep it simple, just the blues and greens. Will you need the tower transported or do you plan to pick it up?”

“I’ve never had vegan cream cheese I don’t think...” Beatrice trailed off in thought, wondering if she was making a mistake in that pick. Technically, she was the only vegetarian in the office, but she wanted the ‘animal and earth friendly’ brownie points of managing to go vegan for the party. “Do you do taste testings before orders are filled?” She asked, all but ignoring what the woman had asked about transportation. “I mean -- it’s not a wedding or a huge event, but do you still allow samples before payment and all that? Is that something I could schedule?” If there was one thing that Beatrice really loved, it was toting around a bursting planner.

[beabaxtr]

soniels:

       “Isn’t that how all toddlers are? Like, I know I was full of questions at their age. I have a friend though and his nephew, Jake - he’s the most adorable, well behaved little guy. No sticky hands, great manners, he’s a mini gentleman. There are exceptions I guess, but they are rare to find.” 

“Maybe they are, but I don’t really know,” she relented. “I’ve never had many young kids in my life.” She never planned to, either. With no younger siblings following her and no close extended family, Beatrice had been absolutely free of the normal ‘older sister’ duties most people were conned into. “The gum kid from the bus sounds more believable than a mini gentleman. I swear there’s at least always one tantrum happening at the store when I go out.”

[beabaxtr]

mayaxwilliams:

It was a regular day for Maya, she woke up in the afternoon with a hangover, went to her favorite coffee shop and ordered a strong, black coffee, then made her way to her favorite shop Darling and bought bunch of dresses she wasn’t going to wear more than once or twice.   

“Unbelievable.” Maya scoffed dramatically, her shoulders rolled into a lazy shrug. “This is the third time a homeless person asked me for money.” Her eyes rolled before turning to the nearest person. “Do I look like I am running a fucking charity?”

“It’s like a plague,” she said, standing next to Maya with her own much smaller bag from Darling hanging off her arm. “A piss-covered, lazy, annoying plague. At least the homeless in Seattle just mutter and sit with signs.” Beatrice would probably never adjust to the aggressiveness of New York. Looking up from where she was rifling through her purse, she shook her head and unwrapped the stick of gum she’d managed to finally find. “Do you want to keep shopping or drop stuff off at your place? The more bags you add, the more admirers you might end up with.”

[beabaxtr]

laylasandoval:

     “Um, me too. But at some point you’d have to go under for I don’t know, heroin overdose and your heart wouldn’t be able to take the anesthetic.” The whole one thing leads to another came to mind, and really sure she wanted to be skinny too but the chances of a botched surgery versus anorexia malfunctions seemed a lot less likely. “I wouldn’t because what happens when you start seeing anything that wasn’t there before? You go insane. Which leads to constant working out or easier, diet coke and cigarettes, and a coke coke fixation, and then fixing things becomes way too fucking hard. No thank you. That’s like exercise right off the bat, a heart attack within ten minutes.” 

Beatrice clearly hadn’t done a whole lot of thinking on going heroin chic, but in her defense, she’d never so much as snorted a line of coke before. In her mind, it was like a very far off, plan D option, should things reach that point. Otherwise, she was just as content to work her ass off and survive on kale for the majority of her meals. “I guess,” she said with a slight shrug, making sure that she’d stepped back and out of the way of anyone else wanting their 1AM falafel. “I think it’s better to have something to work at -- constant goals. Because if not, then like, what are you doing with your life?” It was more of a rhetorical question, but Beatrice’s brows still raised when she looked at the blonde. 

[margaretqualleydaily]

[beabaxtr]

mstatumrichards:

Tatum grabbed a pad of paper as she moved up to the counter, stepping up onto a small stool so she could converse with the client better. “Of course, All vanilla and vegan, we can definitely do that, though to clarify are you talking a large cupcake tower of small cupcakes or a small tower of regular sized cupcakes? And would you like a selection of different icings or even fillings in these cupcakes?”

“Large tower with small cupcakes,” she clarified, despite feeling like that should’ve already been obvious. Beatrice didn’t have room to screw this up -- any chance that she had to show-up her coworkers, she took it. “Is there a vegan equivalent to cream cheese frosting?” She squinted at her phone, still scrolling for the party details. “I don’t really know much about baking,” Beatrice admitted, glancing back to the woman. “But I’m pretty sure cream cheese is suppose to be his favorite and the color scheme we’re going for is blues and greens. Nothing frilly, no fillings.”

[beabaxtr]

laylasandoval:

      There. Good deed for the day. Her pay it forward or something, whatever that saying actually referenced. Sure though that it probably meant the other girl had to do something for someone else and that seemed like a lost cause at all, so, she’d take it as her own good karma and let that be that. “Good point.” she said cocking her head to the side as if in thought and reached for her own falafel, sans tip, “Yeah, no. Definitely cottage cheese thighs. There’s cream for that, and like, lipo. If I went Kate Moss I’d probably just end up dying on the operating table anyways from heart problems.”

She shrugged. “I’d rather destroy my heart than die during a botched plastic surgery attempt.” It was a morbid train of thought, leading Beatrice into thinking about skin flaps and bags of fat -- definitely not a future she planned to endure. And you would think her appetite would be ruined by now, but she felt just as contect and vindicated to have gotten her falafel without having to pay herself. “Wouldn’t you rather, like, start out at your ideal than go back and fix things?”

[beabaxtr]

charliemurrayx:

Reaching across, Charlie knew she wasn’t supposed to overstep the mark and make customers uncomfortable - Lord knows her boss had told her that enough - but taking the menu from the dark haired woman’s hands, she turned it around. “Vegan options are on the back. And the gluten free. And a whole bunch of other stuff that isn’t quite vegan but is sort of getting there,” she grinned, before heading off. People always missed it. Once she’d sorted the coffee, she returned, almost bouncing on the balls of her feet. “So, have you decided? We do pretty great gingerbread waffles…”

Beatrice was surprised when the waitress snagged the menu from her grip, but she let it go, accepting the sudden change when the right section of the menu was pointed out. “Got it,” she answered with a nod, eyes already back on the laminated text. ‘Getting there’ would be plenty close enough for her, considering that she was only vegetarian (and not even really that). “I think so...” Trailing off, she glanced back towards the other. “I’ll go with the vegan breakfast skillet, but nix the tomatoes. -- I actually didn’t know BonBon bothered with vegan meals, but that makes sense for the area.”