Hi I’m Bean

[southernsideofme-deactivated201]

[catholichipster-deactivated2023]

[st-a-y]

[modernnorth]

[bostonpoetryslam]

“You can’t remember what they did to you. Your loneliness isn’t welcome here, you know, but still you walk the dream-lit village, looking for someone gentle enough. There must be an animal trapped under your shirt, you think, because little claws scratch against your chest and you throb there, but you’re afraid to look because looking means remembering.”

— Sara Eliza Johnson, “Parable of the Unclean Spirit,” via the Academy of American Poets

[weltenwellen]

Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score

[sa-dnesss]

[st-a-y]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[glazecake]

[executed-deactivated20161004]

[timebomb271-deactivated20220512]

[maemaybe]

I’m reading The Body Keeps The Score and these are some of the quotes that really stood out to me in chapter one. 

We learned from these Rorschach tests that traumatized people have a tendency to superimpose their trauma on everything around them and have trouble deciphering whatever is going on around them.

After trauma the world becomes sharply divided between those who know and those who don’t. People who have not shared the traumatic experience cannot be trusted, because they can’t understand it. Sadly, this often includes spouses, children, and co-workers.

Somehow the very event that caused them so much pain had also become their sole source of meaning. They felt fully alive only when they were revisiting their traumatic past.

[depressionbound]

I want to punch a wall until my fists bleed and crack. I want to destroy everything and rip myself to fucking shreds.

[thezeroquotes]

But the heart has its own memory and I have forgotten nothing.

— Albert Camus, The Fall

[mostofmylifeisnotthere]

All the survival skills I learned as a kid are now holding me back as an adult.    

 I survived hell and now I can’t survive outside of it.

[tearfuldaisy]