John Mulaney looks and sounds a LOT like the friend I had in high school that had his dad (who had a doctorate in chemistry) making him LSD to sell for spending money. I think I knew him for five years before I ever encountered him NOT high as balls. His best friend had that same ‘50′s wholesome boy next door’ vibe. I once walked in on him deep throating the landlord in his kitchen. I squeaked in surprise, he held up one finger in the universal ‘hang on’ gestured, opened the fridge, blindly grabbed a beer, and tossed it to me- all without missing a beat. There wasn’t even a party going on. To the best of my knowledge he was not in any way involved with the landlord, nor was he in a position where he was likely to be coerced into some kind of real life porno ‘bjs for rent’ scenario. He just… did that… for… some reason that was never adequately explained to me. When I returned to the living room and told my friend (the one that sold the LSD his dad made) what I saw, he just shrugged and said “practice.”
Another time we showed up for a potluck and pregaming and their apartment was killed with chickens. Live chickens. Like a few dozen of them. The only explanation? “it’s a long story”.
One time I was offered tea, I said yes. The roommate asked what kind. I said “whatever you are having is fine”… and that’s how I tried magic mushrooms for the first time.
I once got a phone call from them asking for a favor. If they reimbursed me the gas, could I come pick them up- they’d also buy me dinner. They sounded out of their minds on something, so I said I would. I drove 3 hours to a payphone in a campground in the dead of winter to pick them up. There was no other tire tracks, just their footprints. Neither of them had any idea how they got there or what they had been doing for TWO DAYS, but they each had close to $300 in cash, and we wearing clothes neither of them recognized.
I am honestly amazed they are still alive.
TLDR: guys who look and sound like John Mulaney are like 99.999% WILD AS FUCK
gummygunk
dailybridgerton
yousharknotpass
blakekathryn
andulkaphoto
