Please do yourself a favor and unmute this.

oozey mess
AnasAbdin
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Love Begins
No title available
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

shark vs the universe
Xuebing Du
i don't do bad sauce passes
we're not kids anymore.
styofa doing anything
No title available
todays bird
noise dept.
Cosmic Funnies

blake kathryn
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Andulka
Three Goblin Art
Jules of Nature
seen from Poland
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@beaniebinary
Please do yourself a favor and unmute this.
I'm writing paragraphs but like.. in my mind
oh it's called thinking.
hello, 911? i’d like to report a mass mercy killing
A man and a woman meet in heaven and fall in love.
They walk up to God and ask to be married.
God says give me some time and I’ll get back to you. Three or four years pass and God finally tells the man and woman that he can have them married.
A few more years pass and the man and woman fall out of love. They approach God once more and this time they ask for a divorce.
God responds “It took me four years to find a priest in this place. How long do you think it’ll take me to find a lawyer?!”
JEFF WE’VE TALKED ABOUT UR URL
God, listening to John Mulaney talk about doing hard fucking drugs in his youth is like hearing a nun reminisce on her last orgy before she converted. What do you mean you didn’t come out of the womb with a fatherly demeanor and crippling anxiety?
The hardest drug I can picture John Mulvaney doing is a bottle of tums
John Mulaney looks and sounds a LOT like the friend I had in high school that had his dad (who had a doctorate in chemistry) making him LSD to sell for spending money. I think I knew him for five years before I ever encountered him NOT high as balls. His best friend had that same ‘50′s wholesome boy next door’ vibe. I once walked in on him deep throating the landlord in his kitchen. I squeaked in surprise, he held up one finger in the universal ‘hang on’ gestured, opened the fridge, blindly grabbed a beer, and tossed it to me- all without missing a beat. There wasn’t even a party going on. To the best of my knowledge he was not in any way involved with the landlord, nor was he in a position where he was likely to be coerced into some kind of real life porno ‘bjs for rent’ scenario. He just… did that… for… some reason that was never adequately explained to me. When I returned to the living room and told my friend (the one that sold the LSD his dad made) what I saw, he just shrugged and said “practice.”
What?!?!
Another time we showed up for a potluck and pregaming and their apartment was killed with chickens. Live chickens. Like a few dozen of them. The only explanation? “it’s a long story”.
One time I was offered tea, I said yes. The roommate asked what kind. I said “whatever you are having is fine”… and that’s how I tried magic mushrooms for the first time.
I once got a phone call from them asking for a favor. If they reimbursed me the gas, could I come pick them up- they’d also buy me dinner. They sounded out of their minds on something, so I said I would. I drove 3 hours to a payphone in a campground in the dead of winter to pick them up. There was no other tire tracks, just their footprints. Neither of them had any idea how they got there or what they had been doing for TWO DAYS, but they each had close to $300 in cash, and we wearing clothes neither of them recognized.
I am honestly amazed they are still alive.
TLDR: guys who look and sound like John Mulaney are like 99.999% WILD AS FUCK
Girl’s Costume Warehouse (X)
ITS BACK
and frog
every few months I show this to someone new.
Ah yes, time to bring this back for the season. Here y'all go again.
Happy 2019, Girls’s Costume Warehouse.
The only thing that makes this article funnier is the fact that it is a real story and not something from The Onion
clingy and annoying doesn’t bother me when it’s from the right person, i literally do not mind if my boyfriend sends me a picture of a car he likes at 3am even if I’m not really into cars, his first thought was ‘i know imma send that to my girlfriend’ and yes i love that shit
The difference between good clingy and bad clingy in giving affection vs demanding it.
the muppets, 1x01: “Pig Girls Don’t Cry.”
Why did they make me watch Fozzy Bear experience a micro aggression
you know that feeling when you’re out in nature at 5 or 6am and everything’s still quiet and the air still smells like night time and it’s fresh so you shiver a bit but then slowly the first rays of sun peak over the edge of the earth and everything is bathed in foggy, golden light and you just stand there watching the earth awaken.. if that’s not soothing idk what is
Reblog if you’re dead
Wanna see how many people are dead
*slams gavel*
worm court is now in session
all writhe
When you have to make your own food, and you’ve been watching too much food network lately
What you have before you are deconstructed, rustic chicken breast fritters coated lightly in breadcrumbs and toasted until crisp and golden- the sauce is a tomato, worcestershire, and vinegar reduction, with the vinegar for some brightness, and some brown sugar for sweetness to offset the umami of the chicken
I love what you’ve done with the presentation of your plate. it’s simple yet fun. it shows that you’re mature but you’re not afraid to show your inner child. However, with that being said, there is way too much sauce on the plate and the flavor could use more acidity. Your chicken is under seasoned. I feel like you could have used more salt. For these reasons, we had to chop you.
the most comforting words a father can say