You deserve to reward yourself for doing hard things, no matter what the hard thing is.
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@bear-momma
You deserve to reward yourself for doing hard things, no matter what the hard thing is.
HII!! How are you doing? I saw some other post on this caregiver/little thing, and I don't quite understand it. So I kinda thought it migth be helpfull for me to ask you, since you seem very open to questions. What is this little thing all about? What's it all about the whole thing? Is it normal to feel like you want to be babyed? Can grown ups do this stuff without it turning out to be some wierd kinky stuff? (Because that would just feel wierd, calling somone mommy or daddy should not be sexualised.) Hope I'm not a borther!
Thank you for taking the time to send an ask!! I will explain everything to the best of my ability! Please keep in mind that I am not a therapist, or a doctor, and everything I say will be from years of personal experience as well as personal research.
Ag regression comes in a few forms. For some people, it is an involuntary reaction (much like a panic attack) that forms as a result of trauma, and may be triggered by specific things or high stress situations. For others, it is a voluntary act (more similar to meditation; it's sometimes compared to age dreaming, which I will also discuss!) in which someone finds comfort in nostalgia or childhood.
Both states of mind (involuntary more so) the person who is regressed may need help performing certain tasks. When regressed, the mind believes it is a child. This disconnect from body and mind can make it difficult to do simple things like cook food. Because involuntary regression is a dissociative state, it's also often times not safe to let them do certain tasks, for fear of hurting themselves or making a mess.
Having a caregiver is a way for regressors to stay safe while regressed. There are plenty of people who age regress who don't want or feel they need a caregiver, and that's perfectly normal. I believe we're called independent regressors? My terminology may be outdated, there. Caregivers provide physical and mental support, and will often take on the role of a parent for a regressor, though I've seen big siblings and teacher caregivers, as well.
Caregivers may also act as a stand in for regressors who had absent or abusive parents while growing up. It's a way to relive what they missed as an actual child.
As for age dreaming, it's basically voluntary age regression without the body/mind disconnect. You may still find comfort in coloring books and cartoons and nostalgia, but your mind is still aware and grounded.
Now, is it "normal" to want to be babied? Honestly, I think on some level, all of us want to be a kid again. To live one more day of summer vacation, to go to one more elementary school Christmas party, to fall asleep watching cartoons on the couch. It's an instinctual comfort, to cry for our mom when we're scared. I do think it's normal. It's part of being human.
It is absolutely possible to engage in this community without it turning into a kink thing. I have been regressing involuntarily for over 13 years now, I'm well into my 20's and at no point has it ever been a kink. As stated above, when you're regressed, your mind believes you are a child, so it is unhealthy for age regression to be included during sexual activity.
Age Play is the community that is often mixed up with age regression, and likely what you're more familiar with due to its prominence online (and in agere spaces...). These are people roleplaying as children for sexual gratification. There are complexities to the community that I cannot speak on, since I am neither a member nor well educated about it, but it IS separate from the agere and agedre communities. Some age play accounts tag their posts with all communities, which doesn't help the confusion.
I hope I was able to help!! I'm always open to clarifying if you have any other questions ^-^
Woah, this is an impressive fort you've put together. Are those the cushions from the couch...? Oh, it's not a fort? What is it, then?
Ohhh, this is your nest! I see, you've got lots of comfy blankets all scrunched up to make the walls higher. How clever! I know a couple different animals that make nests, which one are you tonight?
I'll stay nearby in case you need anything, but I know you built a nest for safety, so I'll only check in when I have to. That way you'll still feel safe behind those walls ^-^ If you need anything at all, I'll be sitting right over here, okay?
I know you've been really struggling lately, so I wanted to let you know that I'm very, very proud of you. You're doing a great job, sweetie 💛
You're up early, what's the matter? Another nightmare? Poor thing, come here.
You're okay hun, you're awake now, it can't hurt you. I know it was scary, I'm so sorry you keep having these bad dreams. Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?
You don't have to go back to bed if you don't want to, sweetheart. Let's get you set up with some cartoons while I get ready for work.
It is not a burden to take care of you. You deserve to be cared for and loved. You do not have to do anything special to be worthy of love. I want and love to take care of you!
hihihi! I’ve never sent an ask to ur blog b4 but can I pls b 🐇 anon? :)
Absolutely you can!
HI one of our system littles has a HUGE special interest in bears and I can't wait to show him this blog :((( /pos
Aww, that's so super sweet!!
Did you color this all by yourself? It looks incredible! Look at how good you did with the crayons! I'm so proud of you, this is going on the fridge right away!
You don't need to fit into anyone's aesthetic. You don't have to pick between one color or another. You are allowed to enjoy things for what they are without worrying that it makes you "less than" anyone else. You are allowed to love things 💛
On days when you're overwhelmed and everything feels like it's too much, it's okay to take a step back and take care of yourself. Here's how I do it!
▪︎Break down your to-do list into smaller tasks. If you have ten things to do, split the list in half, then pick one or two that will be easy to complete. Sometimes when I feel stressed about everything I need to do, it helps to start small! Even if you only get half a task done before you need a break, it will make the list shorter overall!
▪︎Take a shower/bath. Getting clean and dressing in clean clothes after helps reset our brain, which can help us calm down when our brains are too loud.
▪︎ Turn off social media for a day. I cheat sometimes and still watch YouTube during the break, but if your feeds are stressing you out there is no shame in turning them off for a day! I promise you'll feel better without the constant negative posts.
▪︎ Talk to someone you trust. If you need a distraction, text a friend or loved one. It's easy to feel isolated when overwhelmed, but you are never alone 💛
▪︎ Take a deep breath and sit outside for five minutes. It's easy to spiral when our circumstances are out of our control. During these times, it helps me to take one, deep breath, then sit outside in nature for a bit. It's almost like meditation, watching the grass move in the wind, or following an insect in flight. Sitting and remembering that the nature around us, what we see and feel, is real.
We're going to be okay 💛
Sometimes we feel ourselves slipping when can't help it, and that's okay! But if you ever need to ground yourself to stop regressing, try this!
Count your fingers one by one. Start with a closed fist and slowly add each finger until you have all ten showing. Repeat to yourself (out loud or in your head) details about your location. For example, "my name is ______, I am in a small room with gray walls, the air is cold." Try to mention all of your senses, what can you smell? Is there any noise? Take a sip of a drink if you have one, what does it taste like?
There are lots of grounding techniques you can utilize when you feel disassociated or on the brink of unwanted regression, but this one has worked best for me so far!
There are some scary things happening here in America right now, and it's okay to feel afraid of what's to come. It feels isolating seeing the numbers. But you will not be alone through this, you will not have to fight by yourself. Find your friends and stay close to them. Find the people you feel safe with. Take some time off of social media to care for yourself if you need to. Please remember that you are not alone 💛
Hello!! I self ship with a bear character and more often than not the characters I self ship with end up also being my mom cgs, I find it a lil difficult for me to imagine her as a cg. Ypur blog really really helps me ease into it!! :3
Awwww! I'm so happy to hear that! 😭
You are not a bad person for having bad thoughts. Regression isn't always pleasant, it isn't always happy. And that's okay. Impure regression will always be as valid as pure regression. Involuntary regression will always be as valid as voluntary regression and age dreaming.
I know you've been really struggling lately, so I wanted to let you know that I'm very, very proud of you. You're doing a great job, sweetie 💛
if you did make a caregiver guide it would be really helpful! ive just found a caregiver but theyre new and i havent been able to find many good posts about it to send to them :(
I'll definitely start working on one, then!! ^-^