shark vs the universe
Game of Thrones Daily
JBB: An Artblog!
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Sade Olutola
oozey mess
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will byers stan first human second
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Cosimo Galluzzi
almost home
KIROKAZE
★
Origami Around
Andulka
dirt enthusiast
d e v o n
NASA
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
seen from Indonesia
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@beautifullymadenew
Paul: I murdered for years.
God: I can work with that.
Unnamed prostitute: I’ve slept with many men.
God: I can work with that.
Zaccheus: I’ve robbed my community of thousands.
God: I can work with that.
Moses: I have no idea what I’m doing in life.
God: I can work with that.
Women at the well: I have divorced many times.
God: I can work with that.
Timothy: I am really young.
God: I can work with that.
Esther: I am just a woman.
God: I can work with that.
A year of sadness and hope.
I’ve found myself back here, to tumblr. The only place where I feel like I am able to bare my soul in the most intimate and anonymous ways.
It’s been a year and a month since I’ve purposefully and consciously disconnected from a relationship with my mother.
The woman who carried me for 9 months, loved me when it was easy, and emotionally abandoned me at every difficult and joyous occasion in my life.
She celebrated with me never and when I wanted- and attempted to die, she screamed every other word besides “I Love You.”
And I still yearn for relationship with her. Catherine. Mom. Ma.
It’s been a year of finding myself outside of her. A motherless daughter by choice, but necessary for survival. An estrangement that hurts so deeply within my soul that some days it stifles my ability to breath. A newly created life that consists of empty Mother’s days and uncomfortable explanations.
How’s your mom?
Hey, I haven’t heard from your mom lately, what’s going on?
Is your mom coming?
Go ahead and invite your parents.
M E N T A L I L L N E S S stole my mother from me.
I feel angry and bitter over the loss of who my mother should have been as a person and parent. I grieve a deep heartache full of “I never had” and “I wish I did.”
So why did I separate? Because the pain of being in relationship with my mother was worse than the pain of being apart. Or so I thought.
I’m not sure at this point, which is more painful, as both have triggered different issues within myself. But years of therapy has taught me this:
The end doesn’t have to be a permanent thing. It may be, it may not. But when relationships, no matter the kind, harm you more than help you, severing that tie may be the only way to recover and forgive.
So here I am. Navigating a world where I long to pick up the phone and hear my mom’s voice. Fear that she will die thinking I hate her. Worry that this estrangement will be forever. Sadness over missed time and milestones. And concern that this separation was the wrong choice.
But as I grieve, I grieve over all that wasn’t, all that could be, and all that won’t be. Because she’s sick. And I can’t fix her.
And I couldn’t survive any longer under her sickness.
My mother is unable to understand the reasons as to why I chose to disconnect. How can a child choose to cut off their parent? And as an estranged child- I’m still not sure because I question it every day.
But I couldn’t continue with how it was.
So mom, the truest form of you that I can find, in my mind, in my heart, in my soul- I forgive you. For all that you couldn’t and still can’t be for me. Through all of this hurt I still see you for who you truly are- Gods loved and cherished child.
I pray that one day- soon - We can make up for the time that we have lost. And start fresh, a life between a mother and her daughter.
And if we can’t, I’ll wait for Heaven, to see you for all the colors that you are, and rejoice with Jesus for our final and permanent reconciliation.
I love you.
-Sara. 💜
God isn’t as frustrated with you as you are with you.
My friend said this, and it made me cry
Evening job quote I noticed: “Those who suffer belong to all of us. And if all of us respond, THERE IS HOPE!” Reading this moved me to tears and hit something deep within me. I thought about all the people that suffer. My clients who suffer from all kinds of ailments. The families who are disconnected. The abuse and neglect kids experience. The struggles I’ve watched my therapy clients go through. Community mental health is rough, but it has challenged me in every good way. But this week, I’ve left most nights on the brink of tears thinking about this quote. And how those in deep soul suffering belong to all of us. And that our sufferings belong to Christ. I have to be transparent and share that I’ve worried more in the last month about clients than I ever have. The deep pain they have shared and the thoughts and attempts of ending their lives have left me at night going to sleep praying for each of them by name. But Jesus reminds me that by allowing myself to respond to His love, even in the hardest of weeks and emptiness of exhaustion, will allow me to grab onto His HOPE, for rescue, and I can sit closely to His heart, so I can heal mine. I am incredibly thankful for the part of me that is Social Worker and Therapist. But it is not all of me, and I am tired. Because I respond to the sufferings of others and often forget that Jesus calls me to lay my sufferings at His feet and He will give me new air to breathe, I find myself engulfed in overwhelming feelings of “never enough.” Never enough time in the day, never enough assessments of safety, never enough advocating, never enough protecting and nurturing. But via the message version, Jesus says: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me, and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Those who suffer- we are them. But God, Himself, holds us all- His mercies are new each day, and the burdens of my heart will be rested. 💜
“If flowers can teach themselves how to bloom after winter passes, so can you.”
— Noor Shirazie (via theglasschild)
Care about healing and care about truly loving yourself. Not only saying it or thinking it but also acting like it. Moving like it and giving yourself time and patience to achieve it.
Amiyak. (via amiyak)
You have a purpose. You’re here for a reason. Your story is important.
The social work “hat”
I get told this often. 😂😂😂
In the midst of difficult times, there is always a ray of hope. 💜 #TrustInGod #Believe
Spent the weekend with so many people I love, at the Dead and Co concerts at Wrigley field. The concerts were incredible, moving, spiritual, rockin', life changing, and they will forever be engrained in my memory. There was a moment during the Friday night shows when the drummer was in the middle of some sound space and it was so humid out with no wind- he was really jammin' and I could feel the music in my feet and then this wave of wind came out of nowhere. It was incredible and impossible to explain the feeling I had, but what I learned from that moment is that this music is more than music, and for as long as they play, I'll be there. #TheMusicNeverStops #DeadAndCo #DancedMyHeartOut #FamilyReunion #MemoriesToLastALifetime
Still on cloud 9 that this happened last night! Perseverance, perseverance, perseverance! You can achieve your dreams! “And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2 #SaraHigginsMSW
yes, please.
Such a perfect home.
Narnia Quote
“In your world, I have another name. You must learn to know me by it. That was the very reason you were brought to Narnia. That by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.” —Aslan, to Lucy and Edmund
