Intro to The Fuckery Life

Intro to Emeralds Fuckery 101

[beautiulemeraldcreature]

Back Story: Scene 4

Everyone loves a good Back story so let me give u Beautie Emerald the alter ego of Ashes Copesmith. By day Ashes is an Astronomer and Astrophysics Scientist working for a the museum of science. She loves her job but she is secretly living her personal life on the edge because of her alter ego who only comes out in the night time causing her to get involved with people who are dangerous and take advantage of her split personality her alter egos /split personality tells her story about doing things she felt she had to do like become a prostitute and stripper and porn star she has no clue that Ashes Copesmith even exists and she lives her life as if she doesnt.

Ashes however is award of Emeralds presence and remembers everything that happens to her when she wakes up the next day from a night of Abuse and begins to write about everything so if you were confused before well now u dont Have to be because it will all make so much sense soon. Everyone thinks she is crazy when ashes expresses her fear of her alter ego so she decides to keep it a secret to avoid being put back into the crazy house yes I said back. Every morning when she leaves she pretends that the night before didn't happen. And only her closest friends know of her night life.

[beautiulemeraldcreature]

To understand you must focus someone will read this juicy Spot of Tea. I know that I make excuses but the truth is I've had writers block and quickly lost inspiration. On the plus side I still get spouts of creative ideas but its not until I've probed my mind that I become aware and strategize my writing. If that makes any sense does anyone else have this feeling? I wonder

[beautiulemeraldcreature]

The concept of my page is to tell partial fiction stories and allow my fans to add to the story or finish the story. How would you end these mini stories or put them together?

[beautiulemeraldcreature]

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[beautiulemeraldcreature]

Scene 3: Act 2 That Girl is a real crowd pleaser.

From wonder woman to bag lady. The life as a stripper is halftime glamorous and halftime tiresome. In the beginning I loved the attention and the fact that men desired me. I had more than daddy issues and it seems like it had to take me 5 years to figure it out!

So in the beginning I needed money to keep a roof over my head but o ended up liking the fast money and being abused because of it. I had met a guy who wanted to be my boyfriend and my pimp. He was crazy and he was the type to get in raged for no reason and I had never been in a relationship that was toxic it was my first relationship that involved violence and jealousy from a man! It all started one night I didn't want to go to work I was exhausted and I didn't feel well .

It was almost like I was in an episode of ed, edd, and eddy. I was being abused but I kept going back for more I still don't know why I took so much of the abuse from the grim reaper is his code name BC I almost didn't make it out alive... I will explain further tomorrow because this was just a tease! Don't u just love Emerald! I wanted to see who was actually paying attention to my blogs and is it worth spilling the fanfiction and drama

To be continued....

[beautiulemeraldcreature]

Scene 3: Act 1

Scene 3: Act One

Let me invite you to the ultimate shit show beginning at 16. I came from an uptight Christian back ground you know the kind where u go to church 7 days a week, take purity classes and go to bible camp during the summer. I never got a chance to experience who I could be or adventure to far from Noah’s arch. I mean most of my friends drank alcohol and smoked weed and cigarettes but not me I was secretly not a virgin anymore and in love with my on again off again boyfriend who I’d sneak out at night for Rendezvous and dance battles yea I said it and it was Krump omg those were the days where wed tell our moms we are staying over at a friends for the weekend when we were really 20 miles away at the beach with our boyfriends. I was always jealous of one of my closest friends BC her mom let her make mistakes and hang out with boys and most of them were just our friends BC for some reason other girls hated us. And look how she turned out today shes successful with no kids! All 3 of my closest friends had freedoms I didn’t and I felt stupid sneaking out because I felt like the weird kid whose parents was on a mission to save the world. Two weeks before I turned 18 I was out of there and determined to live my life how I wanted and make mistakes and try to learn from them the first time. I’ve pushed many lies but none so hard that I’d loose my life. I ran away and moved in with one of my older friends who had already graduated a year before me and I’d known her since I was 14. Her God mother and my mother were close so she understood my pain. One day home girl realized she was short on rent. She let me live there rent free to focus on my music career which was going no where since I fired my step dad. So I felt bad I went job hunting but no such luck , until I got my old job back wed have to figure something out. And here comes the dark side of life prostitution. Back then we didn’t really smoke weed but we were alcoholic’s to the 7th power the stamina I had back then omg I need that back. We could wake up go to work and do it all over again. And we did until reality set in...becoming something we didn’t want to be ....but it was either that or be evicted and land back home with our over baring mothers. Yes we choose to not let each other do it alone. And we got the money to save our apartment but the problem that came next was inescapable the pimp…being pimped out in any way is pure fuckery but in this case you ran the risk of assault, rape, jail, or dead. So one night with a few friends I went to check out an Amateur night I wasn’t going to try out seeing as it was my first time ever in a strip club but my friends knew I could dance and encouraged me to try and it was a better deal than being a street walker so what did I have to loose?besides my shyness,clothes, and inhibitions. My friend shouted my name to the DJ and he told me to come to the booth to pick out a name and a song, people always called me lovely so that’s what I danced by when I got on stage I was terrified but the song I picked out was perfect enough to close my eyes and pretend to dance in a room by myself. Needless to say I wasn’t the best exotic dancer at first but I was one of the best in the competition that night. So much so I won and got a job working at a franchised club. It was 12 hr work outs with 1hr to 45 min breaks it was exhausting but I never got sick and I stayed in shape. It wasn’t until I was dating a guy who was more of a pimp than a boyfriend that things always go sour. I sure knew how to pick them. Literally shaking my head as I recall this. It Was only the beginning of me getting a taste of fast money legally but it was a dark rode that lay ahead.

Must be jelly BC jam don't shake like DAT!

[beautiulemeraldcreature]

Emeralds and Pearls

 Scene 1: The Theory Of a Bad Girl

Keep reading

[beautiulemeraldcreature]

Welcome to my house Scene 2

Its been weeks since I’ve written the ever so explicit epilogue leading up to the a bit exaggerated story of my conquests and ever so rising number of people who would hate for me to tell the whole truth of my story so I’ll use code names for the mitches and bitches who help me turn my life into a shit show but first I’m going to explain why I’ve been missing for some weeks. My story’s are meant to be shared even if I do only have just one fan! Shout out to you Because you’re the real MVP.

My feelings are harder to hurt these days and I know its because with every betrayal I become colder and more distant and I often ask my self does the world deserve this part of me? Why is it that the world asks so much of us but the world isn’t supposed to owe us shit?! It’s a legit question to me! People say M why arent you blessing the world with your many talents? and I say well when ever I try the world chews me up and spits me out and then wants to try it again to see if the taste was just bitter. They look at me crazy while my tone sounds sarcastic there is truth in it. Its true that we’re a little insane. Do you ever feel sorry for yourself and then 20 mins later tell yourself to suck it up buttercup? I don’t I self loathe for at least 48 hrs . I try to tell my self that I’m allowing myself to mourn all of the things holding me back spiritually and emotionally. Oh yea I didn’t mention that this shit show is a mellow drama with a dash of stranger things. I’m flaying your minds with emotion. Like most people on this planet I’m getting through a lot of heart ache and self sabotage. I have to say the man I’m mourning really did a number on me on all levels. He literally broke me and then kicked the pieces so it would be hard to find and put back together much like a jigsaw puzzle in organized if you can picture that. So I’m down on my knees looking like the peasant girl from a Disney movie except I don’t have a freaking side kick or talking emotional support animal to help me pick up the pieces. So yea I’m bitter but at least I don’t want to be. At least not to his replacement. Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone is what my toxic alter ego says to me. Now anyone who has had depression or been around someone with depression knows that being alone 9 times out of 10 is a bad idea in a broken state of mind. All the submissive blow jobs and home cooked meals couldn’t get him to stay. Did I mentioned I also lost his baby… like daaaammmnnnn I was fucked up in the head after that. Looks like I’ve finally stopped hiding my pain and embracing it. Guess now would be the time to lay all of my past failures to fucking rest in peace. Once I started asking the right questions my toxic alter ego decides she now has pride am I a narcissistic bitch? Maybe? Why do I attract narcissistic people? Do I want to be this way oh my Gosh bitch stop asking yourself so many fucking questions and come up with the answers and solutions. For those of you out here reading this dramatic rant well I needed this it is finally time for me to clap back and keep fighting the good fight. Story of my life well I’m all ways in the wrong even when I mean well. Even when I’m being provoked. so how about the toxic side not giving these people the amo for a change. Let them run out of amo and see me holding all the bullets because what’s a gun with no bullets silly rabbit. Some how even if I have nothing but bullets the story flips on me and its omg everybody run Emeralds upset she’s got a gun! And when I’m left standing here alone I thank the man or woman upstairs that I am not them and they are not me. Numerous bubble baths made by men who only wanted the fresh coochie that came out of it. A quiet little bitch, always intimidated by a strong woman. So now that we are getting back on course with the story I can start to sound less like a drunk raving lunatic. I was having trouble believing in myself the same way I used to 10 years ago. The decade has been a cyclone to Oz and wonderland and sometimes even Jupiters 300 years storm. I guess I spent my whole 20’s self sabotaging and now its time for my claim to success even if I have to be lonely for a while to get it. I have to change this pattern. So to anyone reading this going through a tough time remember you can only battle the things you can control. Let go of those negative thoughts and people that consume you. Always remember you are not always the problem nor the answer. And don’t be like me and become bitter avoid it if you can, work through it if you can’t. And again Welcome to my house!

[beautiulemeraldcreature]

Emeralds and Pearls

 Scene 1: The Theory Of a Bad Girl

This Blog is about how I finally decided to write that book everyone was talking about whether it was a Holy Party or Hellish one someone would always get me going with a story and yes I embellished my true stories to either make them seem more sad so I could gain empathy points whenever I was feeling Lonely I tried to create a life that people wanted to be apart of. Now in reality a lot of movie like things happened to me and was interestingly crazy, selfish, foolish and irresistibly passionate and only plain dumb.

               While I was growing up, I was always bullied, and I was too scared to tell a adult. I was bullied at school and with my family… Bullied by my cousins. I was afraid of being branded a snitch because I was a tiny girl/with a tantrum. My cousins picked on me the hardest and for some reason I still wanted to be accepted and hang out with people who hurt me. The point is fast forward 6 years later I’m nearly 16 and still haven’t gotten over the trauma I went through as a little kid and I’m still being bullied but this time the reasons are clearer while I’m building new trauma. Does anybody notice Trauma rhymes with Drama?

I never understood what it was about me that made people envy me and try to take away what was so pure. I loved to goof around and sing, and laugh I was genuinely happy but it came across fake and though I had decent parents who was filling in for my biological parents no one was teaching me how to really deal with the emotional part of the Drama, I mean Trauma. I have to admit spilling my truth like red cool aid all over a white carpet sounds horrifying because what if I don’t have club soda or I go buy some and forget what its for.

This metaphor is pretty much summing up my late teens and early to mid 20’s. Ya girl is all over the place! But promise if you stick with me you will be entertained sometimes you may laugh and at some point, you will love and hate me, I mean I Have to give you the tea or else the story isn’t juicy enough to publish and trust me there will be talk of drugs, alcohol and sex! Oh my God Sex! I’ll explain later. Who doesn’t love a good story that involves self-destruction? I’m going to tell you all my dirty little big secrets. I have Survived another incredible decade. It was my first decade as an adult and boy did I fuck up. Now don’t get me wrong I do hold myself accountable for the mischief I intended and didn’t intend to cause. I’m not making excuses about the how’s and whys. I do not condone The past behavior but I guess I had my reasons In Theory. 

Anyways I used to love to talk about myself and the confidence I had could turn heads in an empty room I mean my light shine so bright people from all walks of life gravitated towards me and I experienced so much love and respect in my early 20s. I had been kidnapped by a crazy ex, Hit by a car by a much crazier ex, been married and divorced, sold drugs, became a prostitute, quit that to become a stripper and porn star full time all by the time I was 24 and not necessarily all in that order. At 24 I had worked 4 regular jobs that I quit if I got bored or too much work for too little pay. I’ve did everything from door-to-door sales and corporate. What can I say I hustled as hard as I slacked off. Its amazing that I’ve lived this long. What I mean by that is, at that time I constantly lived my life on the edge of mount Everest! Go big or go home right? I always loved to smell and look beautiful, hang out with beautiful girls who lived like me and not all of it was just for the love of money. A lot of things I did was for the experience. They say you should try out things in your 20’s so it can prepare you for your 30s but I’m 5 days away from 29 and the only thing I’m certain of is that I love my daughter! There is nothing wrong with a little blog about sex, drugs, lies, R&B, Rock and Roll, and strippers! what could go wrong Except for everything in theory.