Emmg

All I do here is ramble about being single and miserable. but I'm funny sometimes.

[beeslut69]

I want the fun parts of my middle school untreated mental illness

[beeslut69]

Being hungry is hard as fuck. How was teenage me doing this shit for days on end

[the-muppet-joker]

They found me in the Forest

Before I tasted Fear

My father was my Mother

My mother was a Deer

Her legs were sharp and Angled

Her teeth were long and Red

She raised me as a Hunter

To shoot her in the Head

She hates me for my Softness

She snarls at my Fur

My mother's always Taunting

That I'm half a Man as her

I feel her track my Movements

Through the crosshairs of her Gun

I should be my Father's Daughter

But I'm My Mother's Son

[kaylmao]

work like a red onion

play like a white onion

fuck like a green onion

[beeslut69]

Dating is fun, because you get to have your lifelong fear that anyone who told you they loved you or thought you were pretty would just be lying for fun affirmed as the truth

[the-muppet-joker]

Am I allowed to sexualize the puppet from project hail mary or do I have to wack it to Ryan Gosling because I will if I have to but frankly I'd rather have that alien skittering all over me like a sexy bug. Fuuuck they call him rocky because he make my rock hard

[unseenbox]

you gotta make sure the clown feels included.

[great-and-small]

[the-muppet-joker]

Tump dies tonight while giving his speech in the hot hot sun. Like to charge, reblog to cast

[beeslut69]

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"

Just say you can't cook, lil' bro

[beeslut69]

Ive been taking ibuprofen very creatively for like a year now. Cause my period cramps are borderline unmanageable for the first three days or so. Turns out 2400 mg a day is twice the MAXIMUM that you should be taking in 24 hours. But like Yolo. Haven't died yet, and it works so.

[beeslut69]

I hope the beutiful butch woman I had to turn down at salvation army due to my having a boyfriend four days before getting dumped knows that I think of her all the time.

96 hours and we could have had a beutiful life

[beeslut69]

Ive been feeling really shitry in my body lately

And wearing summer clothes that no longer fit properly has def not been much help

But I had a mini haul today and seeing myself in clothes in clothes that dont squish in tug and pull in all the wrong ways, is really helpful omg

I havebt liked looking in the mirror in a while

[beeslut69]

If one more fucking thing goes wrong surrounding this dance I'm just gonna get all dolled up too lay on the train tracks and wait

[beeslut69]

I hope ALL the boyfriends get on a bus and then the bus drives over a bridge

[beeslut69]

Over him enough to torment myself with dating apps, but not over him enough to wash my sheets

[macabrevampire]

i think avoiding everything is going to save me for real this time