Bee The Bisexual

They/Them Autistic A Little Bit Stupid Easily Entertained

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So I’ve learned a bit about grief, the grieving process and the forced changes that come with that lately.

⚠️⚠️Trigger Warning: Death ⚠️⚠️

On August 12, I discovered my aunt (who was basically my real mom) deceased on the floor of her bedroom. I was the only living person in the home.

I am not good in a crisis, emergent situation. I called her sister, and then 911 (the emergency services number for my country), and then tried to follow their commands. But I didn’t process any of what was said for the next three and a half hours, or really anything that happened for the next few days afterwards.

Our family rallied; people I haven’t seen from when I was six or ten showed up and showed out.

My aunt taught me everything I know about love: how to, who to (everyone), when to show it.

She was an angel, but she was not perfect. She understood queerness, neurodivergence, addictions, even though she was an older woman who grew up in an insulated community off the coast in the 1970s and then lived her life in a bible thumping town with similarly bible thumping minded people.

I have C-PTSD, depression, GAD, and am neurodivergent. I have struggled with suicidal ideation in the past. My aunt was my support person.

I was scared of what would happen to me without her.

But I’ve learned that grief is a spectrum of love and pain. I am successfully using my coping skills from therapy to process this.

I was scared that the mechanisms I use wouldn’t actually work when I was struggling.

My family sat down tonight for a family meeting, which is really just a discussion that centers around me. They asked me to look at the situation as if I was someone else and to see if the strategies I am implementing are successful. I have a degree in psychology and have been slowly working towards getting into a masters program for mental health counseling. Doing so, I recognized that I am doing the best I can to process this in a healthy way.

Grief and grieving is hard, and it’s only been a little over a week. But you just need to feel all of the emotions as they come through. You can’t shut down or shove them away.

If crying for days on end is how you need to feel your feelings, then so be it, but eventually you have to get up and keep moving.

[shark-boys]

jane and gil’s best friendism needs to be expanded upon, so now it’s canon that gil teaches jane how to drive after seeing hee racing

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there is no way he didn’t. they bond over their sisters shenanigans and their love for the Valdivinos twins (both their platonic love of their bff and their romantic love for their partner).

Olivia and Richie hate when they start to scheme together to ensure that they are taking care of themselves.

They call each other brother/sister. Gil claims he has seven sisters (because of course he’s including Frenchy) and Jane is happy to be their big sister figure, even though she and Betty never get along.

I like to think that Jane is older than Gil, so she big-sisters him, makes sure he’s sleeping/ taking care of himself too.

Gil makes Jane stop being so serious all the time. Jane makes sure Gil knows that he’s worth something.

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Also this week in general has just been very bad.

First a bad storm hit my area and we were without power for 2 days in the middle of Summer.

Then I didn’t get hired for yet another job.

Then the boy I kind of liked straight up ghosted me.

Then I found out about the cancellation of Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies.

Now I have a summer cold and feel gross.

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Absolutely devastated but not at all surprised to hear about the cancellation of Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies. In the age of instant gratification, studio execs are not prepared to put in the necessary patience required to cultivate truly gratifying and long lasting entertainment.

To take it off the platform in order to avoid paying artists and creators what they deserve is on brand for the brand of people in charge who want to reap all of the benefits and do none of the work.

Saddened beyond belief, but will still stream the music often and hope that another studio will pick it and do it justice.

I was only convinced to get Paramount+ to watch the show, and you can bet I deleted that subscription as soon as I heard the news. I wasn’t using it to watch anything else.

Also; my youngest brother was born TWO WEEKS before the show first aired. He’s barely 3 months old. WHAT THE HELL

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Y’all I still haven’t watched the finale 😭 I went on vacation instead.

Anyway, I have been thinking about Nancy and how she is the best friend ever. I love her so much.

Also I have decided that I am only going to call Shy Guy his name, Edward, from now on. To me, in the conversation with Cynthia during the storm, when he asked her if he even remembered his name, that was his way of saying that he’s more than his most known trait (which we have seen time and again be false) and deserves an identity outside of that.

When Hazel says she’s shy, she just means that she doesn’t talk much in large groups or to people she doesn’t know well. As far as I can tell, based on his interactions with other characters, Edward is mostly the same way.

I don’t know. Maybe he has commodified the nickname into something else (in a loosely similar manner as the way queer people reclaim slurs). But I feel like he deserves to be known for who is and not one personality trait. Part of his small journey this season has been stepping into his own and figuring out his identity (in keeping with the theme of the show), and he’s realized that he’s more than boxing, so maybe he can realize he’s more than just the big quiet T bird.

Basically: I love him and have had not much else to think about so I have overthought it to this point.

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Marisa Davila called me bumblebee I am gonna cry. This cast is so sweet.

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Said in my last post that I would fight to get a season two, well here's my way to fight: 4 WATCH PARTIES this month!!

If you have any questions, you know where to find me 😊

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I have such intense feelings about relationships between characters in a show I don’t even watch anymore.

I’m talking about Olivia and Elliot & Amanda and Sonny in Law and Order SVU.

Twelve seasons ago, I could maybe root for Olivia and Elliot, if he had divorced Kathy instead of emotionally cheating every single fucking episode. There was a reason he left, and he should’ve stayed gone. He never treated women properly: he views them as things to protect and sort of extensions of himself. There is also the ABHORRENT way he treats the criminals WHO ARE STILL PEOPLE. Olivia has never been given a well done love interest because they want her & stabler to be this will they wont they disaster. Olivia deserves to be more than a man’s second choice because his wife is no longer around to stop him. I’m sorry but I just can’t stand the two of them together. They committed emotionally infidelity every single day for twelve seasons, he left her WITHOUT A WORD, and then his wife dies a decade later, and now they want us to root for them again? Fuck no.

As for Amanda and Carisi, she has never treated him well. She used him from the very beginning, has always been dismissive of his intelligence, and has generally been an awful partner to each love interest she had. She acted like she was somehow superior to him and it always came across as “you should be grateful she’s giving you the time of day” as opposed to “she opened her eyes and realized what she was looking for was right in front of her the whole time” (which is what I think they were trying to do). Carisi has always acted as her backup, the guy in the background who does all the emotional labor and gets none of the benefit. I am also a believer in Gay!Carisi, and just think he latched on to Amanda as a way to hide his sexuality because he wasn’t ready to come to terms with it. Now that I think about it, Amanda is a lesbian. This might just be comphet. It is. Thinking it out now, Rollisi only works for me if they are each other’s beards.

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i need rise of the pink ladies to get popular so people start writing about the t-birds and pink ladies having these amazing platonic found family bromances. i need it. i need to know that other people think that gil and richie tell eachother everything and that shy guy gives out hugs as much as he breaths and that nancy repairs everyone’s jackets and olivia tutors everyone in language arts and everyone goes to jane for emotional help even though she sucks at it and the t-birds would murder for cynthia and potato’s little siblings are everyone’s little siblings and-

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these are the kind of fics (and headcannons) I want to see

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Message from Marisa Davila aka Jane:

Do not post spoilers for the finale until after Friday!

So I won’t be doing my usual post episode dump until likely Saturday since I will be watching some of nieces this week anyway.

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Re: Johnathan Nieves as Richie Valdovinos

If y’all don’t stop spreading false, unconfirmed rumors I’m gonna pull all my hair out 😭😭 there is no way an actor who quit the show would actively promote it, for one thing. For another, y’all have to remember that the show was filmed during a time when the pandemic restrictions were heavy. It’s entirely plausible that he simply got sick in the middle of filming episode 8. In fact, I would bet money that something came up in Johnathan’s personal life that caused him to have to miss those few scenes.

As for 9, it makes sense that Richie wasn’t there: there is only such much time to focus on each character; and Richie’s biggest conflict is that he wasn’t there to do anything to stop Olivia or talk things out with Jane or make things better OR worse with Buddy/ the school in general. We cannot expect them to reasonably showcase every character with their own plot lines every single episode. The conflicts between characters (or within characters) did not actively need Richie’s presence to push them along. I’d argue that the conflicts were more intense with his absence. Jane’s realized that he’s the boy for her. Jane was able to get well deserved closure with Buddy without worrying he’d oversee/overhead and overreact again. Olivia spiraled so fast and so hard that she is engaged to her gr**mer.

Are we forgetting that Hazel was absent the first two episode? Or how Susan played only a small role in earlier episodes but slowly her backstory has begun to be filled in?

The show has 10 characters that are central to the plot, we cannot expect ALL of them plus the secondary characters to be focused on each episode.

In conclusion, y’all need to chill the fuck out, for serious.

Richie, come home, your sister needs you!!!

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Episode 9: You’re Dropping Out of RYDELL.

We finally got a Shy Guy name drop!!! Edward! I love him. I am so glad they talked it out and Cynthia apologized.

Someone said what if he’s gay, and honestly I can see it. We love to see wlw mlm solidarity. (Someone said wlw mlm hostility last week and I cried laughing because #accurate)

Nancy’s plot line this whole episode.. girl I have been the one trying to keep friendships together, I am so glad it was mostly successful for you. I’m glad she didn’t go back to her old friends because she already has three best friends. “I’m in love with our friendship” me too

Now she and Potato need to actually have a conversation, but I have a feeling they will resolve things amongst themselves.

SOMEONE ARREST THAT CRAZY, PERVERT AND GET HIM AWAY FROM MY 16 YEAR OLD CHILD PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Jane and McGee 🫶 girl power fr

Cynthia and Gil: I’m having feelings I don’t want them. Have a beer. 😭😂

Buddy acknowledging that none of this would have happened if he had JUST BEEN HONEST

SOMEONE ARREST THAT CRAZY, PERVERT AND GET HIM AWAY FROM MY 16 YEAR OLD CHILD PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Go Hazel, always having the right words for Buddy.

Glad Buddy stood up for Susan. The moment in the home ec room was really sweet.

Cynthia and Jane and Nancy made up good!!

THE SONG THEY ALL SANG TOGETHER WAS SO GOOD I MISSED THEM ALL SINGING TOGETHER

Olivia, girl, if you have to ask yourself if you are just afraid of being lonely, the answer is probably yes, just TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS

We got like halfway through the episode without a song and I was so confused lol.

Nancy’s vision thingy in the Frosty Palace was very much an homage to Frenchy’s, and I loved it.

The girls comforting Jane at the end 😭🫶

Jane’s sad puppy dog eyes at Olivia in her house, I know what you are.

For the finale, here’s what I think will happen: they are going to try to disrupt the wedding process, someone is going to get richie, Nicholson is going to decide that Buddy and richie should stay at RYDELL in some work around “I’m so smart” way, Lydia and Cynthia are going to talk!!!, Hazel and Buddy are going to have/ talk about their little moments? (I want someone to acknowledge them because I want to like them, but at the same time, it’s Buddy), Susan and Olivia convo???

I can’t believe there’s only ONE more episode

There was a criminal amount of Richie this episode. (But that’s better than the creepy CGI superimposed one from 1.08)

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

SHY GUYS GAY TOO LIKE THATS WHAT THAT WAS RIGHT???? LIKE HE WAS COMP HET WITH CYNTHIA BECAUSE SHES BUTCH AND THE SECOND SHE WAS IN THE DRESS HE SEEMED UNCOMFORTABLE!!!! EVEN THOUGH THIS IS WHAT LIKE WE’VE BEEN LED TO BELIEVE WOULD BE HIS DREAM NIGHT!!!

AND THEN HIS F A C E WHEN SHE PROJECTED ON HIM AND SAID THAT IF HE WAS A REAL MAN HE’D LET HER HAVE SEX WITH HIM WAS NOT JUST SHES BEING MEAN ITS SHE WAS PROJECTING HER OWN INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA FOR HERSELF BUT HES ALSO GAY THEYRE BOTH GAY THEYRE WLW MLM SOLIDARITY BUT AT THE MOMENT WLW MLM HOSTILITY HOW DID I NEVER CONSIDER

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If I had to choose my favorite T- Bird, it is 100% Potato. He’s kind, he’s loving, he’s hilarious, he genuinely wants the best for the people around him. His funny friend act is rooted in a desire to make everyone feel good around him. He doesn’t seem to treat women in the same manner as Richie or even Gil (who, yes, admits that he acts that way out of anxiety, but still).

I love him. I hope whatever he decides regarding Nancy, he goes about it the right way (ie literally communicating because what is with this show and not letting people finish conversations).

I think he and Nancy would work well together, as seen in the Halloween episode, if that is what they both want.

Just look at that grin 🫶

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I had to watch the episode in short bursts, because people kept needing me for things.

I’m gonna ramble about everything that happened for each character but first I just want to say that I loved hearing more of Tricia’s singing voice this episode, she has been underutilized so far.

-Susan

At the beginning of the show, Susan was very quickly cast as the pretty but mean popular girl jealous that her ex-boyfriend moved on. Then slowly, they did this thing that I REALLY love, where they gave her more depth, more complexity, and more dimension. They have shown us perfect Susan who works hard to maintain the status quo and please her mother (who is encouraging unhealthy relationships with food and slutshaming her daughter, seriously Mrs. St Clair can suck a rock). And now they’ve shown us another level to Susan, acknowledging that rich white families will ALWAYS do whatever it takes to protect their reputations. Her mother holds this over her head, but it was clearly a very traumatic, very difficult thing for her to do in secret without the support of anyone. Sure her parents made it so that she could get the abortion, but based on how we’ve seen her mother treat her, we know Susan doesn’t get any real support and it makes her actions that much more heartbreaking. When she tries to stand up to her mother, and Olivia (who is neither right nor wrong in her reactions) doesn’t want to believe she’s changed, you can see that she accepts that. It isn’t until Olivia is a steps a little too over the line that she reveals the truth about what she witnessed. Susan is 16-17 and she’s hurt and she’s scared and she’s sad and I love her.

-Dot

I don’t have much to say on her, except that she really is a sweetheart who deserves better friends. Honestly, sometimes a pity date with the bad boy of the school is way better than sitting there alone while your friends all have dates. She’s so cute. Her poor nose and eye :(

-Hazel & Wally

Doing them together because they were together in all of their scenes. Hazel was giving Cinderella vibes. I appreciate the fact that while Wally doesn’t understand some of her Hazel-ness, he really seems genuinely interested in learning about her interests and getting her to at least attempt to enjoy his too. I loved their duet. I love that during the utter chaos that was the rest of the episode, they got to be in their little bubble where everyone pointed out that they are seemingly perfect for one another. I don’t normally trust media when it says stuff like that, but I actually really like them together.

-Nancy

I love her so so so much. It’s entirely relatable the way a crush can feel all consuming and irritating all at once. Her (and Cynthia’s) song was very much a highlight of the episode. I love that Nancy is just an all in type of person and she doesn’t really stop to hear a no for the answer. I do wish they would give her a little more depth. They’ve done a good job with Susan and Jane and Olivia and Richie and Buddy. All we really know about Nancy is that she is incredibly headstrong, a very talented seamstress/ designer, the daughter of the owners of the frosty palace who may or may not be an only child, a Buddhist who’s not a fan of reading, “scary” and although she hasn’t had much of a romantic life in the past, she has a big crush on Potato. Which is valid, because he‘s great. But still, I want to see a new dimension of Nancy with this new conflict within the Pink Ladies.

-Cynthia

She is in the “shit I am gay but no one can know, especially not the person who made me realize it’s true” phase where she fights it HARD. Compulsive heterosexuality hurts. She needs someone to talk to, before she implodes further. That moment with Lydia made me so so sad, but that’s just a real part of quiet culture for someone. Cynthia is hurting, and that doesn’t give her a free pass to hurt Shy Guy like she did, but I understand it. She’s gonna have to apologize bug time, when she comes around. Also, as always, I loved Ari’s part in the duet.

-Olivia

I’ve decided that if her and Richie are twins, she’s the older one for sure. The ages are so hazy, or at least their grade levels, and I’m kinda confused. So my head cannon is that she’s the older twin. Which would explain her protectiveness over the Pink Ladies, without factoring in the slightly homosexual overtures to hers and Jane’s friendship that is not present with the other PLs. Olivia hates Susan, and she does have reason for it. But that really doesn’t explain why she wouldn’t let Jane explain. Because people can change, and they can learn. But Olivia does NOT have forgive Susan, but she should’ve given her so-called best friend a chance to explain. No matter what Susan said, Olivia had NO right to do what she did. She knows what the school is like once they realize you are a “slut” and she knew that the consequences always land on the girl (does she not remember the extent of the conversation at Dot’s party??). Sorry that just made me so mad. And then to tell Richie what happened between Buddy and Jane :/Her moments with Gil were really sweet. But her going back to her abuser does not send a good message at all and I hope this is addressed before the season is over.

-Jane

She did the right thing not going with either guy to the dance. She was unsure of her feelings for either and did not want to lead them on or hurt them by choosing too soon, and that was a mature decision. Her budding friendship with Susan is interesting and kind of ironic. Her accidentally confirming Olivia and Mr. Daniels is unfortunate, but also something that would reasonably happen to me because I am bad at de-escalation techniques. Jane is very much people pleaser, even after everything, so it makes sense that she would sort of defend Susan. Her coming home to Olivia’s jacket already on her porch (which like, hello Flash because how did she get there before Jane) was almost the opposite of the scene where Olivia brings Jane’s jacket to her house. She did not even really register what Richie told her about Buddy and the election results (which like, how did he find out?)

-Richie

He is a good guy. He respects Jane’s space; he saw that Dot was devastated about her going dateless to the dance (which also sorta implies she’s never been if they previously had to have a date to register a ticket and she said her friends always had dates but not her). He was very kind to go with her, and go along with her quirks. Teenage jealously makes a person unsteady, and I am just glad someone told Jane the truth about Dick Aldridge.

-Buddy

I am still not his biggest fan, but man was he sad this episode. It seems like everyone is moving forward except him, which is expected when you realize most of your life is a lie. He needs a slap in the face and a hug.

-The others (Shy Guy, Potato, Mr. Daniels)

As for the rest: Potato remains one of my top guys; Shy Guy and Cynthia in the kitchen actually made me cringe because I know she feels nothing what he feels for her; and the predator needs to be imprisoned. I can’t believe he is trying to suck her back in :(

I need my girls back together. I need some proper communication to happen between Lydia and Cynthia.

Also episode 8 comes out the day before my birthday so I hope it’s a good one (they have not let me down so far).

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THE T-BIRDS Richie, Gil, Potato and Shy Guy.

Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies - S01E07

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There is something so special about healthy male friendships :(

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The boys all being big brothers except shy guy is perfection.

Betty and Gil being siblings is unexpected but adorable!! Their sibling banter was hilarious, and accurate. Gil and his crush on Olivia is actually adorable. The fact that he has five sisters makes the way he treats women in comparison to the other guys in the show make so much since. Also the way he would not let Richie steal Potato’s dad’s lucky dollar was so sweet :( “I’ve been the man of the house since I was eight years old and I’m exhausted” 😭😭😭

Potato taking care of his younger siblings and letting his dad sleep :( he’s so sweet. It makes his funny guy friend persona make so much more sense. He is such a good guy. The way he loves his dad :( his dad’s ptsd affecting the whole family :(

Shy Guy boxing is such a juxtaposition to his personality, but it makes sense. He’s a big sweetheart and later in the episode when Richie tries to use his size for intimidation purposes, you can really see how much that hurts him. He’s just a big teddy bear. He’s so valid for standing up for himself in the parking garage.

Richie 😭 him having no clue how to regulate his emotions😭 him getting the whole group in trouble and them trying to stop it 😭 him beating himself up in the parking garage 😭

THE WAY THEY ALL CRY TOGETHER BUT ARE LIKE IM NOT CRYING AND THEN THE DUST THING SO THEY CAN HUG WITHOUT HUGGING 😭 it’s so representative of the way boys and men are taught to not show their emotions at all and so they have no healthy way to process it.

The way they were so proud when Shy Guy did his lines 🫶

Buddy’s journey this episode was so necessary for him as a character. He’s the good guy, rich kid character that’s never really had to try for anything and learning that there’s a reason he didn’t have to try is devastating. He feels like he has never done anything to deserve anything he has and now has to process that.

His solo was really good. I’m glad he stuck up to his dad. He’s still not my favorite because every time he seems to be making a real effort to change, he seems to take a step backwards.

We love open and honest discussions about our feelings. Good job for not pushing, I’m actually really proud of Richie.

Also: last episode when they were like “Cynthia and Hazel are so the same size” brooo ain’t no way