8Letters

My life, my words, my world. https://elizabethmary8.wordpress.com

[befearrless8]

Footsteps

March , 2018 The age-old tradition of running from our problems or fears is all too familiar. The running we seem to batter an eyelid over are the things that make us whole. Joy, love, emotion and potential versus heartache, horrible truths and little lies. Whether we choose to deny it or embrace it, these emotions scare us and leave us in fight or flight mode. Did you know that when we run, we…

View On WordPress

[befearrless8]

Why 8 Letters?

8Letters are the building blocks of many powerful sentences and have the ability to create incredible words. I love you is one of them. Three of the words in the english language that some of us use too much and others not enough. Those 8Letters have the power to haunt you if you don’t use them, to hurt you when they are not used and to bring immeasurable joy when they are said and meant.…

View On WordPress

[befearrless8]

Tired

5th of March, 2017

I am tired of sleeping broken.

The broken inhibits my mind as the lights go out, then it hits hard when they turn back on again.

But you don't just feel the bang when the lights go on, you also feel the flicker when you think your mind is asleep. It is in those moments your dreams come to life.

I had this dream last night. We were at a party. I fell asleep before the night began and woke up knowing I was missing out, I had to find him. I needed to find him.

He was far away and I couldn't get a cab, or train, or bus or any mode of transport to where I needed to be.

I struggled and hurried through secret entrances and halls, I didn't know where I was going, really. I just had to get there.

But something inside was telling me when I arrived the party would be over, that it had probably already ended.

I would never get there, because I woke up before I got the chance.

I am tired of broken dreams, of giving up and waking up before my happy ending.

Wake me up when the story ends, not when the blank 'to be continued' screen takes over a suspenseful plot.

Where does the happiness go when the nightmare takes over?

Once our eyes close does the frontal lobe put happiness into sleep mode?

I am tired of waking up and forgetting I am in pieces.

Those half-asleep moments right before you rise that put you in another place, another time.

Your mind is in harmony with your body, until you slowly trigger the memory part of your brain. Once you hit what you have for so long tried to avoid, you remember you are spread into puzzle pieces all through the bedsheets.

But this is a puzzle not even you could solve.

Your heart is broken into little pieces that somewhat resemble the picture you once saw on a box you threw away long ago.

I am tired of dreaming, and you filling my unconscious thoughts with endings I will never experience or see. All that is left to do is feel them and let my body ache in the early hours of the morning.

I am tired of going to sleep, because I don't want to wake up.

[astrophagy]

       last kiss // taylor swift

[befearrless8]

I Wish...

“I don’t want to get hurt, because I don’t want to have to run away.”

That was the moment I completely and totally opened my heart up. For the first time in a long time I was surrounded by someone with so much light, he was my own personal firefly.

From the moment he called me into his light we had been dancing in flashes of illumination.

Being around someone with so much light, can often lead you blind.

He took a deep breath, while my heart skipped a beat and tried to process the venerable position it had been thrown into.

“Can I think about it?”

It hurt.

It sank in quickly and suddenly, but not deep enough to kill me. That tiny bit of uncertainty keeping me alive was what made me feel the agonising pain of the wound.

I wish.

I wish a simple ‘no’ were enough to take away the pain. It wouldn’t heal straight away, but it would over time.

But the uncertain, rippling effect of his unsure response kept me lurking in the shadows. Hoping it will one day be safe enough to crawl into his light again.

I lay there, bleeding. The love in my heart was pouring out of my body at a rate I could not control.

It was all gone. I didn’t know how to feel anymore.

Everything was shutting down, from my mind, to the feet that once had the strength to carry me away from this mess. Think about it? What did he need to consider? He wants to think about his feelings. Think about what is convenient for him.

Think about his life and if he wanted us to happen. But not at any point in his thought process, would he be thinking of me. If he were, those words would not have slipped out of his lips, let alone entered his mind.

As I turned to face him in that moment, I realised my firefly was nothing but a tiny flame flying around the room, while I lay there without wings.

A tiny flicker I needed to blow out, before it set fire to anything else in its path of destruction.

What is worse than someone telling you they don’t like you, is someone not telling you and leaving you hanging. The cowards way out.

Why does it have to be his decision? Why do we leave our hearts in the hands of another?

It was you, you with your strength who so bravely spoke the words of your heart. You who revealed your vulnerabilities to a light that could switch off faster than it turned on. It is you who deserves a “yes” or “no” and not an “I don’t know” or “let me think about it”.

It was the flicker of a diming flame, that couldn’t work up the courage to simply say “I don’t feel the same way about you,” or summon the empathy to understand his uncertainty was only hurting you more.

It is you who should be proud of your heart. Be proud of the pain it endures. Be proud of the love you can feel and the light you can spread. Be proud of how well you can heal, even at the times you feel the bleeding will never stop. Be proud of the wings you will grow and the moment you learn to fly.

You can be surrounded by someone with so much light, and fall so in love with it. But when their light becomes a weak flame, they’ll be lost in the dark.

For those of us who emerge from their flickering flames, we learn to dance blissfully in the moonlight.

https://elizabethmary8.wordpress.com/2017/03/01/i-wish/

[anonnotsoanon]

Losing You

I am slowly losing you, And I don’t like it

I am slowly losing you, Like the air I used to have

I am slowly losing you, Like the love we used to have

I am slowly losing you, You had me by my neck

I am slowly losing you, I had you by a thread

I am slowly losing you, And I like it

[niagara-flaws]

She’s so mysterious in the way her eyes travel up and down every person she meets. And she wants you to try to get into her head. And she wants to keep parts of herself secret.

The girl who’s an obscurity (via niagara-flaws)

[teenangstverse]

i wish i’d never fucking touched you.

i wish i could touch you again // L.H (via teenangstverse)

[excerptsofyou]

I just wanted to be good enough. Good enough for you. Good enough for the society we live in. Good enough for myself.

Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #2 (via mylifeinajournal)

[befearrless8]

I Wish..

“I wish that no one ever waited 4 hours to text you back when you know they’re holding their phone. It’s rude. I wish no one ever messed with your head, and I wish no one ever gave you mixed signals. I wish when you asked somebody “do you wanna be with me?” they never ever said, “I don’t know.” I wish they only ever told you yes or no because you deserve to know the truth.” – Taylor Swift “I…

View On WordPress

[olearypoetry]

[befearrless8]

I Wish..

“I wish that no one ever waited 4 hours to text you back when you know they’re holding their phone. It’s rude. I wish no one ever messed with your head, and I wish no one ever gave you mixed signals. I wish when you asked somebody “do you wanna be with me?” they never ever said, “I don’t know.” I wish they only ever told you yes or no because you deserve to know the truth.” – Taylor Swift “I…

View On WordPress

[befearrless8]

HELP I'VE GOT THE HEATHROW INJECTION

HELP I’VE GOT THE HEATHROW INJECTION

“You’re so skinny. I was exactly the same as soon as I moved here. 15kgs later…” “I had a really great lifestyle back in Australia, I’m continuing with it here. The weight gain won’t effect me”. – Were the exact words I shared with one of my housemates the first day I moved in. Naive Elizabeth strikes again. Boy, was I wrong. Planning to move from the wonderful, fresh Australia to the UK ? Be…

View On WordPress

[befearrless8]

I'm [still] feeling 22 - Hello 23!

I’m [still] feeling 22 – Hello 23!

My twenty second year on this earth has by far been the most extraordinary. As I was catapulted though loss straight into foreign land I felt so elated in a way I forgot was possible. Through it all, I discovered how in love I am with my life. I have experienced things I never dreamed possible and always surprise myself with wondrous thoughts. Today, I celebrate the end of 22 as I enter another…

View On WordPress

[befearrless8]

Awakening

[befearrless8]

Diary Of a Dreamer: Falling Where The Light Is

Diary Of a Dreamer: Falling Where The Light Is

It is the easiest thing to do; falling. It happens in a way we don’t even know is possible until we feel the ground fast approaching. For a long time our mind is in ‘denial mode’. Throwing out those below the belt lines like: “You’re not falling, this is stupid.” “Why did you do this again?” …or my personal best: “Let me just stand in the way of your FEELINGS for a while and let it hit you all at…

View On WordPress

[befearrless8]

What She Became