Top marks for not trying.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤBack off. You’re going to lose her. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤIt was a nightmare, but it felt very real. It was dark and the fog was everywhere, covering the landscape and making Samuel feel lost. The wind was soft, but it was so cold he couldn’t keep his jaw still; the teeth kept chattering non-stop. He couldn’t talk. It was like he had no voice at all. Actually, he was afraid of saying a single word: the place was intimidating and he didn’t know what types of creatures would be hiding in the mist. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤSuddenly, there was light. It was a single little spot coming from a distance, and it seemed to be splitting the hazy air, making its way in his direction. It was getting closer, wider and brighter. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤAnna. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤShe wasn’t dressed in a way he was used to see her. Actually, it had totally nothing to do with her usual clothes: a white dress, more like a tunic, covered her body. She was like an angel, as his mother had once described to him years earlier. She even shone as one, the light came from her. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤAnna stopped and smiled, standing in front of him only a few steps apart. Everything around her was bright and beautiful. No more mist, Sam could see the grass under her bare feet and the birds flying from one tree to another behind her. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤShe smiled and called him without saying a word. It was something in her eyes. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤBack off, Sam. You’re going to lose her. He knew that voice so well, but he couldn’t make the connection right away. It was a little distressing. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤAnna called again. She wanted him to kiss her this time. A proper kiss. He knew that only by looking at her eyes. She wanted him to embrace her tightly and kiss her passionately the way he didn’t do hours ago. He owed her. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤIt was only a little step ahead. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤDon’t. She’ll go away and you’ll be lonely and lost again. Don’t do that. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤDon’t let her get into your heart. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤShe was already there. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThey kissed again. He kissed her, this time. It was tender and different than their first. They both knew what they were doing now, in a strange way. Sam felt Anna’s lips, he touched her face, his fingers ran through her copper hair... And her smell was sweet and hot, like a nice cup of tea. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤIt could’ve lasted forever, but suddenly... She started to crumble in his arms. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤAnna’s light was going out, little by little. She was dying. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤHer long red hair started going off her head to the ground and her face got suddenly pale and too thin. She was weak and she was dying. The light was leaving her eyes and he couldn’t look away. It was getting cold, dark and misty again. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤI warned you. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤSamuel Roth wakes up in his bedroom and the window is open. Houdini is shaking inside his cage, trying to warm itself with its own wings. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤAfter closing the window and the curtains and putting a blanket over the owl’s cage, the twelve-year-old go downstairs in the kitchen to get a glass of water. It’s 2:17AM and Beck is clearly sleeping in his room. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤIn his way back to his bedroom, Sam stops by the living room, without even knowing why, and stands in front of the fireplace. He had seen those photos a million times before, but something was different about them now. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThe only photo Beck still kept there with Diana was one of their wedding day. Sam remembered how beautiful she was and all the times he wished they had met. She seemed a great and good woman from all the stories his foster father had told about her. But now the photo was different. Totally different. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤIt hurts, doesn’t it? ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤBeck’s voice, that was it all the time. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤDiana was bald, pale and weak on the photograph. Just as Anna in his dream. And, all of a sudden, she was Anna. He had to blink a few times. The happy faces of the married couple were back to their place. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤSam knew he wouldn’t bear this pain. If something happened to Anna, something inside him would die. The idea of losing her, watch her go the way Beck did watch his beloved wife go years before, it made him terrified. This is love, isn’t it? He loved Anna Collingwood. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThat night of December 26th, 1973, Samuel Roth decided he couldn’t be friends with the girl he loved anymore. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThe piece of parchment over his writing desk would never reach her hands. None of the letters he wrote to her every summer and holidays, nor the songs he would be writing about her for the following years. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤHe would come to realise at some point it was a selfish and coward thing to do, yes. But it seemed right and reasonable by that time.







