I have been turned away at motels after I’ve already booked. I’ve been poked and prodded, paraded around as a teaching exercise by more healthcare professionals than you can imagine. I’ve been a niche internet microceleb and been deplatformed. I’ve had a double mastectomy. I’ve had a modified metodioplasty. I’ve been unwelcome in “queer” spaces, I’ve been kicked out of gay spaces. I’ve had a spouse who disliked and tried to prevent my transition. I’ve lost access to testosterone. I’ve faced housing insecurity. I’ve fought friends and family, and lost some. I’ve had family return to my life. I’ve attempted suicide. I’ve been followed. I’ve been ganged up on in bathrooms.
I’ve cried. I’ve been numb. I’ve been angry.
I’ve taken the pages of medical jargon and rewritten them for the layman. I’ve rewritten them for translation, for those with low English literacy. I’ve seen my own writing come back to me when my wife started at home hrt injections. I wrote the very pamphlet they gave her. I have swam in the ocean shirtless with my sister. I have laughed. I have learned to take care of myself. I have learned to eat again. I have learned how to make my body strong without harming it. I have developed skills that made me a better leader. I have learned so much. I have made friends. I have mentored. I have learned how to accept joy, and love. I have been welcomed into much community. I have been supported unconditionally. I have grown fat and hairy, I have deepened my smile lines, I have developed crinkles around my eyes from smiling so wide so often.
The love is infinitely larger than the hate.
If you are trans you have to live.
You have to live.
I am, and I want to see you there.
theartofmadeline
origamiaround
kianamaiart
turnnoffyourmind
