Astrid Klara Beck

20, she/her, your fav bisexual trans girl

[belovedgoddess0130]

I know I can't reach out and talk to you and I honestly feel so guilty coming back to this blog to vaguepost about you but just,,, it would mean a lot to hear from you. And I'm so sorry.

[belovedgoddess0130]

.

[belovedgoddess0130]

I’m seriously considering creating a whole new Tumblr account- not just another blog- and have basically the equivalent of this blog be my main. I’m getting followed by a lot of porn blogs and fetishists bc of being trans and I want to be able to block them, and not just from my old main blog. Also im sick of not being able to like/comment/ask/etc from here

[theheroinewedeserve-deactivated]

It Me

[belovedgoddess0130]

Follow me here, if you want

[belovedgoddess0130]

I’m seriously considering creating a whole new Tumblr account- not just another blog- and have basically the equivalent of this blog be my main. I’m getting followed by a lot of porn blogs and fetishists bc of being trans and I want to be able to block them, and not just from my old main blog. Also im sick of not being able to like/comment/ask/etc from here

[theheroinewedeserve-deactivated]

It Me

[belovedgoddess0130]

Follow me here, if you want

[belovedgoddess0130]

I’m seriously considering creating a whole new Tumblr account- not just another blog- and have basically the equivalent of this blog be my main. I’m getting followed by a lot of porn blogs and fetishists bc of being trans and I want to be able to block them, and not just from my old main blog. Also im sick of not being able to like/comment/ask/etc from here

[theheroinewedeserve-deactivated]

It Me

[belovedgoddess0130]

Follow me here, if you want

[belovedgoddess0130]

I'm seriously considering creating a whole new Tumblr account- not just another blog- and have basically the equivalent of this blog be my main. I'm getting followed by a lot of porn blogs and fetishists bc of being trans and I want to be able to block them, and not just from my old main blog. Also im sick of not being able to like/comment/ask/etc from here

[iamcle0patra]

i crave romance so bad. im such a romantic sucker dude. i just want to be held and touched and kissed and do cute sweet lame things and if that can’t happen at least tell me you miss me and that you wish it could. send me sweet text messages that make me smile and say aww and remind me why i should never want anyone else. just make me feel fucking wanted.

[belovedgoddess0130]

TW// Coming out I wanna maybe find this again if I ever decide I wanna come out at home?? Which I have no immediate or foreseeable plans for but this would be a great resource.

[mewde-deactivated20210512]

hi someone hold my hand pls

[belovedgoddess0130]

I volunteer

[belovedgoddess0130]

I Might Still Be NB.

One thing that’s been on my mind a lot these past couple days is the idea that being a trans girl and being non binary don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

I know that femininity is important to me and is a big part of Me, but I think my gender is a bit more complex than that.

By taking so long to question things like gender identity, I lived for a significant amount of time with a male social identity, and that had its influence on me. I’ve grown accustomed to certain privileges, and I haven’t had many of the same experiences that young cis girls, or transfeminine people who lived accordingly from a young age, have had.

While I have grown- and seek to continue to grow- more aware and critical of it, masculinity and the experiences I’ve had as a direct result of being perceived as male have had a significant role in shaping my worldview and my understanding of the world around me and of myself. And while I’m striving to grow outside of and beyond that influence, I don’t think I can ever fully detach myself from it.

Thinking of myself as a trans woman has been a liberating and joyful step that I feel I needed to take, however it sort of felt like cramming into a shoe that was a little too tight- close enough to say that it fit, but after walking around awhile it became clear that it wasn’t quite perfect.

I am more feminine than masculine. I am a trans woman. I still like the name Astrid and she/her pronouns. However my lived experience as a male-passing individual has added enough nuance to my identity that I can’t claim to be 100%, binary, female.

[belovedgoddess0130]

Also, the entire point of all of this has always been giving myself room to be wrong so that I can continue to learn and move forward. This is a process, and for me, that looks like trial and error.

[belovedgoddess0130]

I wanna bring this back because I have more thoughts. I don't think that gender identity is as rigid and static as it can seem to be portrayed as.

The reason I'm saying it's difficult to say I'm a woman is a lack of lived experience. When a girl in my class got sent away in high school because of her dress, I thought Hey, this is something I think shouldn't happen, but I wasnt angry, I wasn't embarrassed, and I was able to stay comfortably ignorant of the power imbalances at play. Except for on a few isolated occasions, I've never really been afraid to walk alone at night or in a large city. And of those few isolated occasions, probably 80% of them were because I was performing some element of femininity. But I had the option to go home and, with a cotton ball and a splash of nail polish remover, or a change of clothes, opt out of the experience of feeling like a target in public. A lot of people don't have that option.

The experiences that I have- and haven't- had have shaped the way I see myself and the world around me, and they've done so primarily from a male point of view.

That being said, if I were to change my name to my entire social sphere instead of a trusted few, if I were to portray femininity with my dress, appearance, voice, behavior, etc., and do it consistently, I could gain much more lived experience.

And that's not to say that the defining feature of being female is being a target; maybe some of that experience could be developing relationships with others that are easier to be more vulnerable and genuine in faster. All I mean is that the experience would be different (I know I'm using the word experience a lot, bear with me).

I think what I mean to say is this: to say that gender is socially constructed is not to say that it's fake, but that it doesn't exist in a vacuum, and that it is defined by social context at least as much as it defines that social context. And with enough lived experience in a female social role, maybe I will come to the place where I can more comfortably call myself a binary woman. But for now I just know that I'm not-a-guy and that's subject to change, but it's enough and it's worth taking pride in.

[d1amondbunny-deactivated2022012]

Thread by @ ImmCivilRights on Twitter about the Obama administration’s role in immigration policy

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

aka the line thats the most fun to yell during car karaoke

[belovedgoddess0130]

I always went ham on "Hercules Mulligan I need no introduction when you knock me down I get the FUCK back up again"

[belovedgoddess0130]

I’m v happy that I have a handful of specific tastes/subgenres of memes that I share with specific friends. Like anything surreal goes to Kelsey, anything to do with Mario or Soviet Russia goes to Billy, and so on

[surreal--memes]

[belovedgoddess0130]

this is spicee

[theglowpt2-deactivated20200101]

if you’ve seen the breaking news that trump just signed an executive order today to end the family separation policy here’s some quick info to keep things in perspective

this doesn’t end the “zero tolerance” policy of prosecuting anyone who crosses the border “illegally” 

the only thing this changes is that going forward, entire families will be detained together while awaiting prosecution 

this offers no solution for freeing the thousands of children currently held in ICE child prisons or any path to reuniting them with their families 

children will still be detained and treated as criminals

this will likely lead to thousands of families being held in ICE facilities and tent cities that will face the exact same issues of overcrowding, abuse, and inhumane conditions that exist in the child prisons

this is not a victory or a solution. This is the administration trying to cover their asses and avoid any more public outrage. They want people to see this as the end of the news story and go back to their lives. They want people to forget the thousands of children they are still keeping in cages in ICE facilities across the nation. This issue is not over and we cannot stop being outraged until we are given proof that the thousands of kidnapped children are returned to their families, and that the policy of arresting and prosecuting people who cross the border is ended. 

[bidoof]

look if movies being like 2.5 hours long is just gonna be the norm from now on then we gotta bring back intermissions. please let me piss.

[skarlatha]

There is legit an app called “RunPee” that tells you when you can get up and go pee without missing anything important. You hit the timer when the movie starts and then it vibrates when you can make a pee run. It even gives you a little summary of what you missed that you can read while you pee.

[bringingclawstoagunfight]

Why isn’t this gif searchable on Tumblr. This is ridiculous.

[belovedgoddess0130]

I wanted to find this gif and so I just searched “Oprah gif no shit” and I was not disappointed. Tell me that’s not her face... like bitch.... you dumb bitch.... no shit.