hey uh asking for a friend what the fuck do you do when the crows bring you the Eye of a Well Known Neighbor on the campus because said friend might have expressed their annoyance with said neighbor near the green and said friend might also have been Given to the crows when they were young so uh. basically. is this friend completely screwed or not?
Look, I will be honest with you, this is…not great. Not ideal. I wouldn’t trade places with you for money.
That said, it could be worse: you didn’t expressly bid the crows to steal the eye, however they took your complaints. And furthermore the crows have, at some point or another, crossed most of the Gentry on campus in possession of free-floating eyes. They’re carrion birds, after all. Eating eyeballs is kind of what they do.
Which is not to say that the Lady in question will be happy about all of this (if we are discussing who I suspect we are)! But you can probably patch things over with no more than a slight lingering grudge, if you return the eye soon. Gift-wrapping the thing might be a nice touch; a glass jar of upscale honey probably wouldn’t hurt either. And whatever you do, don’t admit any fault.
