you killed eminem??!!

nothing but respect for the london be more chill cast here.

[bemoreincorrect]

jake: what are the odds you think mr reyes would let me take charge one day?

jenna: you? jake "in my defense i was left unsupervised" dillinger?

jake: y'know, just because i don't have a middle name, doesn't mean you guys need to give me one.

chloe: oh yes, yes, it does.

rich: i don't have a middle name.

jenna: oh yes, you do.

chloe: yeah, you're richard "second half of a whole idiot" goranksi.

rich: what? who's the...first half?

*jenna and chloe both look at jake*

jake: i'm not an idiot! why am i an idiot?

jenna: technically, you're just half of an idiot.

chloe: and in your defence, you WERE left unsupervised.

[bemoreincorrect]

jake: i'm surrounded by mom friends jfc

rich: that makes you daddy

rich: don't read that

rich: don't respond

[bemoreincorrect]

christine: yeah, i mean, the only “little” i trust is stuart. and that's it.

jeremy: little stuart?

christine: no, stuart little.

jeremy: oh - the mouse.

christine: yeah, the mouse.

jeremy: the mouse boy.

christine: he was a man! a mouse man. he drove a car.

[bemoreincorrect]

jenna: chloe isn't great about expressing her emotions.

chloe: if i say how i feel, people will say how they feel. and i don't care.

[bemoreincorrect]

*chloe doing push-ups because she lost a bet to rich*

rich: this is so unsatisfying. you’re not even sweating.

chloe: it’s too easy. someone needs to get on my back.

michael: no one is going to-

chloe: brooke?

brooke: coming, strong lady!

[bemoreincorrect]

rich: send dudes.

jake:...do you mean send nudes?

rich: no, i'm in a bar fight. send dudes.

jake: you're in a WHAT?

[bemoreincorrect]

michael: girl problems?

brooke: ...how did you know?

michael: you look like you got problems. you're a girl.

[bemoreincorrect]

*during class*

rich, writing a note for michael to pass along: pssst! pass this up.

jake, handing along the note to chloe: pass this up.

chloe, hanging the note to jenna: pass this up.

jenna, handing the note to jeremy: pass this up.

*jeremy gets handed the note*

mr reyes: jeremy, are you passing notes to michael?!

jeremy: no, i just -

mr reyes: don't lie, jeremy.

jeremy: i'm not lying. someone just handed me the -

mr reyes: jeremy, if you think it's so important to keep interrupting my class, then why don't you come up to the front and read your note to michael for everyone to hear!

jeremy: but i didn't write the note!

chloe: mr reyes, jeremy's behavior is having an adverse effect on my education.

jeremy: shut up, chloe!

mr reyes: jeremy heere, you come up here right now and read your note!

jeremy: oh, man.

jeremy, standing up in front of the class: dear michael, you have got such a great ass. i could sleep for days on those perked cheeks, let me tell you. i'd like to live with you and wear your ass as a hat for all eternity.

*everyone stares at jeremy in shock*

jeremy: whoa, dude!

[bemoreincorrect]

*after finding a blunt in a classroom*

mr reyes: let’s go over some of the symptoms of marijuana use, shall we? you tell me who this sounds like. slow moving, inattentive, dull, constantly snacking, shows a lack of motivation.

rich:

rich: ...hey!

*later*

mr reyes, showing chloe a picture: do you know what this is?

chloe: yes, it's marijuana.

mr reyes: how do you know that?!

chloe: it's labelled.

*later*

michael, looking at the photo: that is northern lights cannabis indica.

mr reyes: no, it's marijuana.

*later*

jake: i'm just saying that you can't be sure that it wasn't you.

mr reyes: that's ridiculous, of course it wasn't me!

jake: marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don't remember.

mr reyes: i would remember!

jake: well how could you if it just erased your memory?

mr reyes: that's not how it works!

jake: how do you know how it works?

mr reyes: knock it off! i'm interviewing you!

jake: no! you said i'd be conducting the interview when i walked in here. now exactly how much pot did you smoke?!

mr reyes:

[bemoreincorrect]

jenna, explaining something: it’s very straightforward. however, if it isn’t clear, feel free to say so.

jenna: but know that you will be judged.

[bemoreincorrect]

jake: i’m somehow embarrassed and proud of you at the same time.

jeremy: yeah, that’s my sweet spot.

[bemoreincorrect]

chloe: *fast-forwards all the way through the movie*

brooke: you can't just skip to the happy ending!

chloe: i don't have time for their problems.

[bemoreincorrect]

christine, yelling: i swear to god, i will scream sing every last word to les mis!

[bemoreincorrect]

michael, playing dnd with the squip squad: six goblins are running towards you from the treeline, drawing daggers.

rich, looking at his stats: i attack them using my...

rich: additional notes.

michael: it has no effect.

[bemoreincorrect]

chloe: you guys worried about jeremy?

christine: totally!

michael: yeah, he called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do i do? what do i do? what do i do? what do i do?"

brooke: and what'd you say?

michael: "i dunno. i dunno. i dunno. i dunno."

brooke:

christine: he’s lucky to have you as a friend.

[bemoreincorrect]

chloe, at play rehearsal, to the squip squad who are gathered around a coffee maker: so... who broke it? i'm not mad. i just want to know.

christine: i did. i broke -

chloe: no, no you didn't. jake?

jake: don't look at me. look at michael.

michael: what? i didn't break it.

jake: huh. that's weird. how'd you even know it was broken?

michael: because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

jake, leaning in on michael: suspicious.

jeremy: if it matters - probably not - but jenna was the last one to use it.

jenna: liar! i don't even drink that crap!

jeremy: oh, really? then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

jenna: i use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles; everyone knows that.

christine: okay, okay! let’s not fight! i broke it, let me pay for it, chloe!

chloe: no! who broke it??!

michael, looking at brooke: chloe...brooke's been awfully quiet.

brooke: REALLY??

michael: yeah! really.

brooke: oh my god!

*everyone starts arguing at one another except chloe*

chloe, to my reyes: i broke it. it burned my hand, so i punched it. i predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

chloe, turning to look at her friends as they continue to argue, then looks back at mr reyes: good. it was getting a little chummy around here.

[bemoreincorrect]

michael: let me tell you something else, WE FLIPPED A COIN!

chloe: ...and?

michael: coin flip is sacred, duh!