Wherever you go, take yourself with you @bemyblessing - Tumblr Blog

Year’s end

2016 is about to come to an end. For some reason, I’m unable to see the growth in myself. I always feel like I’m still at the point of where I was a few years ago although when I state my current situation, it’s by far no where where I was a year ago. In the last year, I moved to DC, I spent most of my weeks in Missouri working and then in Georgia starting mid-August, I learned to drive to the point where I can go places by myself, and I traveled a TON. I’m lucky in the sense that unlike my peers, I have a work-life balance. More like a life-work balance honestly, if you catch my drift. Looking back, I visited Portland, San Francisco, Napa Valley, Austin, Dallas, Charlotte, Italy, Greece, Switzerland, Turkey, Cancun, Miami, the Hamptons, Cape Cod, Iceland...wow that is a lot. No wonder people ask me if I’m still employed. :-D So I am blessed. But I still feel like a part of my life is missing, something or someone missing to make me whole. I’m still trying to find my passion as I learn at work and I go out so often I feel like something is wrong when I’m home on a Friday. Anyway, 2016 was good to me. Thank you God for that. I look forward to 2017, as I predict it will be wonderful.

Yucatan, Mexico

12/14/16 @G C P S

Chicago

You know when you go to a city and you haven't explored every inch of it but you already have the gut feeling that you'll love it? That's how I feel about Chicago. I didn't feel foreign in the city and I think it'd be a great city where you can do something different every day. Despite the freezing weather and unreal wind chill, it'd be a remarkable city to explore. I wonder how Chicago is in the summer. Anyway, this trip did not go as planned. Not much was planned, but Kirti and I ended up meeting 2/4 guys we had met about a year ago in Berlin. It was different this time, of course, but really nice. Good vibes for sure. Learned much more about them as real people, that's for one and they were so sweet actually. Valentine's Day consisted of seeing the sky deck at 0 visibility, having sushi/Thai with Andre and Kirti, ditching a Jazz club that was poet night, chilling at his go-to bar, listening to him play the guitar at one of the best apartment views in Chicago (I'll give it to him), ending the night with a few games of pool and then heading to the airport and falling asleep before the plane even took off to New York.

Never really been a fan of winter because it's such a lonely time of the you're when you're single

1/25/16

January came and went just like that. Nothing is new in my life and that's the problem. I'm not satisfied with life and I'm not taking any actions about it either. I never truly planned out my life in detail. Partly because whatever plan I write down will usually take a different path. More than anything I've been feeling lonely. Lonely for a specific kind of person; a significant other. That's what I'll make my #1 goal in 2016.. Lately everyone else has been annoying me. It's mean to say it, but it's true. I know I'm lucky that people want to confide in me and check up on me but it's like I've grown so accustomed to such an independence where I don't need that. That's not true.. But idk Life is just not where I'd like it to be right now

11/08

Wow it’s November 8th.. I’ve been in DC for four weeks now, still adjusting. Technically two because the first two weeks was training in other cities, but still. I didn’t expect it to be this hard; moving to a new city and starting completely new. Maybe it isn’t that hard and I’m just overthinking it..or maybe it is, I don’t know. I guess it’s also because I don’t have a clear direction of where my life is going and what path I’m taking. It’s like days are passing and I’m just flowing along instead of taking charge. Like Cheyenne said, it’s like I’m the new kid in school, and it’s so true. I’m use to being around people or at least having the option of doing so. I’m pretty social and I’d say I make friends easily but for some reason it’s not coming off so easy. It’s like the shy part of me has returned - and of course, at the timing where it’s least convenient. I’ve been called shy/reserved a few times and bro that is not good for the job where networking is pretty much your life. I hope I manage soon enough. It’s been hard though, I’ll admit. I do wish I were surrounded by close friends or at least had one or two that lived close to me that I could do everything with..

I still feel like I haven’t even begun working yet but I realized what I want in life. I want someone to share it with. Cheska had said during one of the posse gatherings that her dream was to have a family. It’s such a simple and common futuristic goal that no one really puts into words because it’s usually expected. That’s my dream too, I’ve realized. Who cares if I have a job that’s earning me 6 figures if at the end of the day, I have no one to eat dinner with? Not me. I’d much rather have the latter. I know I’m still young, but I feel so old. I feel like life is slipping by and I’m not feeling it’s full force.

Happy birthday to someone who has always, always been there for me. I don't know what I would do without you and I remind myself how lucky I am to have a friend like you. You're supporting, funny, dependable, caring..like a brother. My parents even question your sexuality because you're such a good friend. Hope you had the happiest day and birthday celebrations. Maybe one day you'll see this post.

10/22/15

What a time in my life I'm going through. 6 days ago I moved to a new city where I don't know anyone. Not to mention I moved in with two strangers. 4 days ago I started my first real professional job. Everyday I get certain nostalgic emotions, most stemming from fear and uncomfort. I know these feelings will pass but at the present, facing them alone is hard but I know I'll get through. I always do. I just hope everything works out. I'm positive and hoping for the best. Scratch hoping - going* for the best.

gonna miss my munchk

October, minus the first three photos

simple goals

I know what I want in life and I’m going to make them my priority when I start work/move to DC 1. Climb, climb, climb to the top of my career. Become indispensable to my clients and work place. Network my ass off, build relationships, genuinely enjoy the work I do, always help out. WORK HARD 2. Love and be loved by a significant other 3. Find some true friends

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Wherever you go, take yourself with you