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I cry, and I cry, But I still can't change anything;   † Indie AU Macarona RP Blog †  If pain is supposed to make you stronger...   Then how many times do I have to cry? Left side image drawn by Emalfie!

[liepsnos]

     A curse slipped through his gritted teeth, keeping quiet for several moments despite her question, remembering, visualizing the pure agony he felt while imprisoned, the memory of his stomach feeling like it was collapsing on itself from lack of food and constant abuse from a temperamental devil. Doing so, helped him to regain his composure, if you could call emptiness and dread such things.

     Seems like they both weren’t going to attack first so it would just end up as a stand still until Macarona finally lost it on him or he lost his mind enough to strike first. Either or and he was personally praying that it wouldn’t be the latter.

            “I had t’kill them.                     It’s as simple as that unless you really don’t understand..”

     Emalf’s eyes settled for staring at the bloodied dirt instead, using his sunglasses to hide the fact that he was doing so. He didn’t have to look her in the eye and his sunglasses can hide the fact that he wasn’t and that he just couldn’t.

           “Why the eff do ya wanna know?                     Why can’t you just come at me like you did before?”

[benignuspei]

     That didn’t make sense.  Of course that’s probably only going to feed the fire currently growing between them.  Ruby eyes glance away, hands lowering to her chest while her thumbs rub over eachother in a nervous fashion.  Maybe he wouldn’t attack her...?  He wanted her to get him first, after all, so maybe she could....

      She swallows and clears her throat.  Even with that, her voice is still barely audible now.

   “ It’s.... never that simple... “  No, even during the war between Kcalb and Etihw they had a reason for the bloodshed and carnage.  Unless his reason was still the same as it was the first time?

   “  I-I...  I can’t...            You’re my friend, Emalf...  I....  I didn’t know you that time... “

[liepsnos]

     He never did lie about changing because really, he barely changed at all. Emalf wasn’t always a bad person and really all he ever wanted was some good friends, some laughs and just wanted to enjoy his life however circumstances seemed to always change it so he always got the short end of the stick. This time was no different and boy, was this a really short stick.

             “Idiot…                        Effin’ stupid, ya know.”

     He was primarily calling himself those since he cracked under the pressure and was back to square one which was having no bonds and basically nothing at all. Emalf said it in a way in which anyone who heard it, would think he meant her but it was better that way. Easier. You can kill someone you care about far easier when it was in self-defense. Call him a coward but he really didn’t want to physically harm her unless he really had to.

     The demon’s smirk fell into a pained, thin line, his teeth grinding behind his lips. He wanted to tell her that he actually liked that she gave him the time of day, that she was kind to him despite the invasion and his actions then which are basically the same as they are now only, he is losing a good friend because he couldn’t do a single thing right.

           “Don’t– …..don’t ask me shit like that..”

     Emalf didn’t want to hear it since he already hated that he was always so weak and his entire life was owned by the devil who took him off the streets and once again he was punished for his choice in friends. Atleast with Adauchi, the punishment wasn’t quite so severe since he didn’t have to go out of his way to kill his friend.

           “…I’m waiting.”

     He was not going to charge at her first and would simply just try to egg her on until she attacked him for it.

[benignuspei]

     Again, she flinched at the indirect insult.  Be strong, Macarona!  She told herself.  Showing signs of weakness wasn’t good in front of the enemy!  And right now, even a small thing such as a word was showing him even the slightest bit of hesitance and feebleness.  It still didn’t feel right.                  Fighting him, that is.

     Wings fold against her back, posture relaxing just a bit at the words he said.  He was waiting?  For what?  For her to attack?  Good luck, man, she’s rather stubborn and knows much better than that.  At least that may give her some time to try and reach out to him.

   “ ...  Then...  A-Atleast...            Tell me why you.... k-killed them, Emalf...                                 Please.... “

     There’s no guarantee she’ll get an answer she’ll like.  Actually, there’s no way she’ll get an answer she’ll like.  She hardly ever does unless it involves schoolwork.  But dammit!  she’ll try to get one from him no matter what.

     Slowly she runs her fingers of the metal of her brass knuckles, ensuring to herself that they were still there.  That she wasn’t completely powerless.  Of course due to her strength she wasn’t powerless to begin with, but there’s a certain feeling of safety knowing that you, too, have a weapon when your opponent does.  A simple feeling that almost could match plain fairness.

   “  I-I...  I actually... really...  Don’t want to fight you...            Just tell me why... “

[liepsnos]

 🔥 🔥 @saldainiu

     Dull eyes stared past dark shades that rested on his nose, blood speckled on them and streaks of it on his shirt, cheek and hands. His grip on the knife’s handle was tight despite the amount of blood coating it, dripping from the tip.

     The angel’s words fell on deaf ears as he continued to stare at the lifeless bodies of her friends that he had just murdered in cold blood. It was really much too easy as opposed to the last few times he tried during the invasion since they were a little more trusting this time around. He hated that actually.

     There was really not much left to do. He had done as his devil had painfully and forcefully demanded. Emalf really never thought that Ivlis would find out that he had been coming here and getting friendly with the citizens because he was lonely and just wanted some compassion. His devil was none too happy to learn of this and the demon had spent weeks. locked up in that cell, shouldering every word, every curse and every hit. Torture really can change someone or atleast make them more obedient which is why he was here. He wanted Ivlis’s praise and his forgiveness because he had everything ripped away from him but that wasn’t anything new.

     What was so wrong with surviving? Why did people always hate him for that? Scold him for it as if it was a big mistake that he was still here and maybe it was. He really didn’t want to hurt Macarona and he had planned to lie to Ivlis that he killed them all but somewhere in his mind, he knew his luck was never that good so of course she saw and he wouldn’t be able to get away with this.

     The young, blood soaked demon turned around to face her with empty, tired eyes that she could not see, clothes hiding every wound that still stung with infection. It would be better if she didn’t see them since he really shouldn’t leave her to this sort of life. She has to join her friends too, doesn’t she? That’s the right thing to do here. Probably…

     He still managed to force a malicious grin onto his face despite how he felt. He really was not meant to ever have friends, huh?

               “Changed? I never changed.                         I’ve always just been the same.                             Shame that you’re too effin’ b l i n d to see the truth.”

[benignuspei]

   “ L-Liar! “     

      She was ready to fight.  That’s a lie.  She will never be able to fight him anymore. She didn’t want to fight him, but it was necessary now.  If she didn’t somehow avenge them... What good was she?  She could have saved them if she had been arrived sooner.  Then again...  She was the one who had continuously allowed Emalf to go back and forth from the Flame World in the beginning.  

   “ A...After e-everything...          Even if they were little things...  Making flower crowns...  Cleaning...  Hanging o-out...                Y-You became... so kind... “

     Give her a second to catch her breath.  He had turned to face her, a grin so unfamiliar it made her skin crawl and the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.  Not once had he ever dared give her such an expression.  The words the he spit from his mouth were venomous, but Macarona could have sworn she heard them falter just a bit at the end.            The tears began to form none-the-less due to the insult.  She wasn’t one who could manage to take even the smallest of teasing from someone she held so dear to her -- it’s a miracle that Rawberry got away with as much as she did, actually.

     Fists rise up, feet spread apart in an attempt to stabilize herself in what could be only a pose of self-defense.  He had a knife in his claws!  Trying an offensive tact first would only be suicide with the skill he had with the weapon, that much she knew.  It only took a few times watching your friend get stabbed and shoved off a cliff to realize this.

  “ If you n-never changed...         not even a bit... Then....                      wh-why....?  Why wait so long...? “

   “ Why lead us all on? “

     A stupid question with an answer she thought she knew all to well:  to make it easier.  With how many times they failed during the invasion of course it only made sense to actually befriend the enemy before dishing out the attack.  Gain their trust, make them vulnerable.  Her right hand quickly dries an eye, the other remaining to watch Emalf for any sudden movement or even for a sign of remorse.

[benignuspei]

boss fight

     This wasn’t right.          It couldn’t have been.               He had changed, hadn’t he?  That’s what she had thought, at least.  He has become kind and caring through the times they had spent together but yet this…. 

                                                                     This was U N F O R G I V A B L E.

     She bites her tongue, tears welling up in her eyes as she casts them away from the scene of the crime and the culprit.  It was futile to do so, as the image of crimson was forever burned into her mind once again.

     Macarona had failed once again to save her friends.  Once again she had reached a bad end.

   “ You…  You said you changed.          I trusted you.  We all TRUSTED you.  And you…  Y-You… “

     Small hands ball into fists as a sniffle escapes from her.  The tears are quickly wiped from her eyes.  Macarona didn’t want to believe that he did this.  Or even that he was forced to do it.  But that was a little farfetched, wasn’t it?  Even if he had been ordered to do it, she knew deep down that Emalf would have refused.           …  He would’ve refuse, right?

   “ We let you in.  We gave you our homes.  Our care.  Our friendship.  Our love!  And you threw it away!  You c-cast it aside a-and MURDERED THEM.  B. . .Betrayed them!  You betrayed ME. “  

     Oh yes, She felt completely and utterly backstabbed by the demon.  To say she might have felt something more was an embarrassing thought to say the least.  Honestly, it only made her situation much, much worse thinking about it.  Thinking about how it was him wrecked her even more.

   “ Emalf. . .   I-I. . .  “                      She swallows, the cold metal on her knuckles striking as the only thing she could feel.   “  . . .   I-I. . .                      I-I can’t. . .                                 Let you walk away from this. . .  “

                                    “  I ‘ m  s o r r y . . .   “

[benignuspei]

     “ . . . . . . . . . “

     “ It seems we’re uh....  Both outta the loop, then. . . “

[ask-team-clst]

Who’s ready for a BAD TIME?

Send the phrase ‘Boss Fight’ and I’ll write the setup and speech leading up to a boss fight against my character.

Or, send ‘Boss Fight Reversed” and I’ll give you my character’s reaction to a boss battle against yours.

[benignuspei]

     “ B-But it felt like I was gone for m-months!              How could nothing’ve happened. . . ? “

[piano-rock-blog]

Someday you'll come to understand... the importance of thinking for yourself.

Indie Roleplay Blog for a Mid-AJ Era Klavier Gavin                     Written by Colin / AI 

But today..... Achtung, Baby! Today we play it my way!

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[benignuspei]

                                “ W-What have I missed since I’ve been gone. . . ? “

[benignuspei]

     Her wings (and overall self completely) are filthy, covered in the dust and dirt of the cave not so at the outskirts of town.  Who knows how long she’s been out there?  It felt like months to her.  

                                                      “ . . . . Ah. . . . “

[benignuspei]

liepsnos:

     He really couldn’t manage time to see her during the day since Lord Ivlis has been on his ass the entire time but alas, he’s finally here and was glad that she wasn’t a heavy sleeper like he sometimes turned out to be. The demon was really quite content to see her and when she turned on the lamp and approached the window he was at, he simply waved at her with a big dopey smile on his face.

  “I came here t’see you.                       …is that bad?”

     He only wished to to ease that feeling of loneliness that’s been plaguing him the last several days– weeks? Maybe it’s been weeks but he was never good at keeping track of time.

  “Mind if I come in?               It’s kind of.. uhh– chilly out here actually.”

     The evidence was evident that she had only just arose from slumber, head resting on her arms as she blinked at the demon speaking just outside the window.             Okay, maybe being told that he wanted to see her woke her up a bit more, since her face was already becoming red just repeating the words in her head.

     “Oh, yeah.             You do know the door is always unlocked though.... right?”  

     That sounds dumb, always keeping it unlocked, but why lock it when nothing really ever happens in the village?  Either way, Macarona is out of bed and shuffling around in her pajamas to try and manage her way to the door.                Just step over the papers, books, and clothes laying around the room.  They’ll be picked up in a second.

    “I’m u-uh...  Sorry if it’s a bit messy...”

[maxiety-blog]

[Home]     [About]     [Headcanons]     [Mun]     [Comic/Credit]     [Important]

[benignuspei]

Knocks on her window because he snuck back into her world and is hiding in the alleyway between her house and another since there's people around.

     It doesn’t matter that it’s nearly 3:30 in the morning and that she was just awoken from her sleep, what does matter is the fact that it’s 3:30 in the morning and Emalf was knocking on the window and hiding between her house and the neighbor’s.  

     Lucky for him she was one who couldn’t sleep after being awoken by a bump in the night.  Macarona takes a few seconds to adjust to the darkness, crawling out of bed and stumbling to turn on the small desk lamp for just enough light to open the window.

“Emalf....?  What are you doing here...?”

[benignuspei]

Look at this small angel shivering inside the library.  

You’d think since it was summer that the place would be nice and warm but no, she’s freezing and shaking so much feathers are practically surrounding where she’s sitting.

[benignuspei]

Now that she’s home.....

               Time to check on her flowers and plants and hope that they’re not dead.  

[benignuspei]

How long has it been since she was home?  Quite a while, it seems.  Her body is telling her that as well, stomach churning and lungs causing her to wheeze from the sudden change of cold, winter air to hot summer air.  Beads of sweat are already dripping down her forehead.

             Maybe she should have stayed in that other world.  At least she could have always warm herself if she were to cold and not suffer the consequences of overheating.

“...  I should have stayed for a little while longer...”

[benignuspei]

Important;;

Hey so uh, due to mental illnesses andjust a lack f willpower and shit, i’m gonna be really bad with activity here, actually.  I haven’t been best when it comes to my mental health and stuff and I just have no will to roleplay (via tumblr) at all....  So If you seem me disappear alot from this blog and just all of my blogs (except) personal in general, don’t fear!  I’m just taking a break from rping...   I really do want to rp here, but sadly i just don’t have the stability to do it.  It’ll probably just be a few days, maybe a week or two.  

I WILL be on skype, ad I’ll definitely rp on there!!!  And tbh I’m always open to play some Epic mafia it’s just that I don’t have the....  IDK the will and ability to maintain threads on here right now. 

But!!!   I’ll def be back.  I promise.