private trash can

idfk guys

[bens-reyshine]

psa

indefinite hiatus/moving to discord

Keep reading

[bens-reyshine]

psa

indefinite hiatus/moving to discord

Keep reading

[bens-reyshine]

psa

indefinite hiatus/moving to discord

Keep reading

[bens-reyshine]

psa

indefinite hiatus/moving to discord

Keep reading

[bens-reyshine]

psa

indefinite hiatus/moving to discord

hello lovelies, 

i wanted to post this because i felt it would be important to make those i’m still actively writing with aware. 

the fact of the matter is i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 13 years. i’ve been writing just as long on here too. so the reality is, things change. 

for the past year, i’ve been struggling to adapt to the new landscape of tumblr and the new waves of people that have been writing on tumblr too. 

there’s nothing wrong with it, or with anyone in particular. that’s not what i’m saying. more so, it's just become too difficult for me to deal with emotionally and mentally AND still enjoy writing. 

i adore writing. it is my solace really. but lately, its been more work and stress than actual enjoyment. i’m desperately trying to keep partners, which isn’t really great for my self-esteem. 

secondly, i’ve come to enjoy actually writing on discord. it’s more intimate with my partners, and i am able to keep that ooc communication open like i genuinely enjoy. its not as high pressured as tumblr to get things back quickly or in a certain format, and frankly, it’s been what i’ve put more time into over this past year. 

i would probably have to thank @sjalfvili for getting me comfortable with writing outside tumblr and supporting me through this past year. brooke is literally the most amazing human being in the world and an amazing friend. and i love all our babies threads on and off tumblr. 

that being said, if you are interested in writing me with off tumblr, i would certainly love to have you. there are many threads i have that i absolutely adore here and it breaks my heart to leave them, but i know i can’t continue to log on here with the bad energy it gives me. 

if you’d like to write with me on discord, and you are a mutual, please feel free to add me @ cnuasach#0879. 

maybe one day i’ll come back on a private account just for reylo and morgki, who knows xD but for now.... i’m just going to take a deep breath and find a way to love my hobby again. 

i do genuinely love you all, and i hope you are safe and happy and doing everything you can to live the life you want most. 

thanks again, 

xo, ash 

[anorakbaby]

[badliares]

* 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝙲𝚁𝙸𝙿𝚃 ( 𝙰𝙽𝙶𝚂𝚃 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽 ) 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂.

taken from the bands’ various songs,   but with a twist:    a lot of it are angst-driven sentence starters.     nothing belongs to me.     feel free to change any pronouns or sentence structure according to your muse’s preferences.

❝   you won’t find faith and hope down a telescope.   ❞

❝   am i better off dead? am i better off a quitter?   ❞

❝   they say a few drinks will help me to forget her.   ❞

❝   she’s all laid up in bed with a broken heart.   ❞

❝   you’re smiling but you’re close to tears.   ❞

❝   you can’t explain a love like ours.   ❞

❝   i wanted words but all i heard was nothing.   ❞

❝   i’ve got a new job now in the unemployment line.   ❞

❝   some try to hand me money. they don’t understand: i’m not broke! i’m just a brokenhearted man.   ❞

❝   my heart starts to wonder where on this earth you might be.   ❞

❝   you think about coming back to the place we first meet?   ❞

❝   i know that i’m drunk, but i’ll say the words. maybe she’ll listen this time even though it’s slurred.   ❞

❝   i’m still alive but i’m barely breathing.   ❞

❝   trying to make it work but man these times are hard.   ❞

❝   they say i’m better off now, than i ever was when i was with her.   ❞

❝   i’m falling to pieces.   ❞

❝   you took your suitcase, i took the blame.   ❞

❝   going back to the corner where i first saw you; gonna camp in my sleeping bag, i’m not gonna move.   ❞

❝   we both know how we’re gonna make it work when it hurts.  ❞

❝   how can i move on when i’m still in love with you?   ❞

❝   maybe i’ll get famous.   ❞

❝   maybe you won’t mean to, but you’ll see me on the news.   ❞

❝   when you pick yourself up you get kicked in the dirt.    ❞

❝   i’m drinking jack all alone in my local bar.   ❞

❝   i’m smiling, but i’m dying trying not to drag my feet.   ❞

❝   they say bad things happen for a reason.   ❞

❝   you’ve read the books, you watched the show. what’s the best way to get over a heartbreak? no one knows.   ❞

❝   i’ll dial her number and confess to her.   ❞

❝   we sat up talking all night.   ❞

❝   you’re going through six degrees of separation.   ❞

❝   you’re gonna think that you fixed yourself, but then you see ‘em out with someone else.   ❞

❝   i admit i may have fucked up a little.   ❞

❝   there’s someone i’m waiting for - if it’s a day, a month, a year.   ❞

❝   i know it makes no sense, but what else can i do?   ❞

❝   one day you’ll wake up and find that you’re missing me.   ❞

❝   we don’t know how we get into this mad situation, only doing things out of frustration.   ❞

❝   they all think i’m crazy but to me it’s perfect sense.   ❞

❝   you think the worst is a broken heart.   ❞

❝   you’re only doing things out of desperation.   ❞

❝   fake a smile, lie and say, “i’m better now than ever and my life’s okay.”   ❞

❝   if i do it face-to-face, she’ll come to her senses.   ❞

❝   i’m praying to a god that i don’t believe in.   ❞

❝   you’ll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.   ❞

❝   we’re gonna say things we haven’t for a while.    ❞

❝   every drunk step and path leads me to your door.   ❞

❝   my mates are all there trying to calm me down ‘cause i’m shouting your name all over the town!   ❞

❝   she finally met a man who’s gonna put her first.   ❞

❝   what am i suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?   ❞

❝   what am i suppose to say when i’m all choked up and you’re okay?   ❞

❝   you’ve moved on while i’m still grieving.   ❞

❝   who would’ve thought i’d be here by myself?   ❞

❝   everything’s the way that you left it and i still haven’t slept yet.   ❞

❝   you’re covering your face now but you just can’t hide the pain.   ❞

❝   still setting two plates on the counter but eating without you.   ❞

❝   now they say i’m wasting my time ‘cause you’re never comin’ home.   ❞

❝   no wise word’s gonna stop the bleeding.   ❞

❝   ‘cause when a heart breaks, it don’t break even.   ❞

❝   policeman says, “son you can’t stay here”, i say, “there’s someone i’m waiting for - if it’s a day, a month, a year.”   ❞

❝   we’re gonna start by drinking all cheap bottles of wine.   ❞

❝   if she sees how much i’m hurting, she’ll take me back for sure.   ❞

❝   i’m swearing if i go there now, i can change your mind.   ❞

❝   gotta stand my ground, even if it rains or snow.   ❞

❝   i just lost my job.   ❞

❝   oh, sometimes love is intoxicating.   ❞

❝   who would’ve thought you’d be bad for my health?   ❞

❝   i’ll leave the door on the latch If you ever come back.   ❞

❝   there’s nothing i can lose in a break-in that you haven’t taken.   ❞

❝   where’s the good in goodbye?   ❞

❝   i’m counting on high hopes to get me over you.   ❞

[insporp]

[bens-reyshine]

piscín briste || 🔥

          She was slow to waking up. Taking her time. Though… had she been looking for something? Her eyes wandered the room, scrutinized the room. Loki doesn’t remember doing anything to cause much disturbance. He wasn’t one to make messes out of boredom. He was particular on keeping to himself, having only taken paper and borrowed a pen. Biting his lower lip, Loki continuously glances between his drawing and the woman as she ate the bread he had left for her. Glad for her eating, the corner of his lip curves slightly as he dipped his head to fill in the finishing touches. Writing the runes of his name in the bottom corner. 

   Looking up again, he notices she’s out of the bed, wrapping herself with a robe. Was she going somewhere already? But he frowns slightly at the mention of new clothes. Where were his clothes anyways? A nice clean and they would have been fine. She didn’t get rid of them did she? Dammit, he needs those back— sooner rather than later. But he’s distracted from that thought with the mention of breakfast. It was a far better thought. His worry lessens and he nods at her. Moving to stand, he leaves the pen behind in place of where he was sitting. The drawing remained in one hand.

   “What’s wrong with my old clothes? Have you done something with them?” Or maybe he misplaced them. That was entirely likely. He’s lost most things he hasn’t placed within the pocket-dimension of his own. Even then, he doesn’t always remember what’s there. “I’m going to need them back. At least the armor—” If he had armor on when he had come here in the first place. He doesn’t remember that either. It’s… exhausting really, not retaining the necessary. Loki follows her into the hall for these flapjacks she mentioned. It’s nothing he’s ever heard of before. At least, from what he knows of momentarily. But his concern resides with his belongings. What else of his did she have? He decides, maybe, to inquire cautiously about what he may or may not have divulged. “How long did I tell you I was staying?” it was a safe question, “I’m going to need my things back…”

        While she doesn’t particularly wait for him, there is a wry pause at the door when he begins to shuffle through his things to follow after her. When he mentions his clothes, emerald hues pass over him before a smirk touches the corner of her lips. “They’re in a chest in the guest room, puisín. Cleaned, buffed, and ready for the next great battle,” Morgana teases him before sauntering off through the hall to head towards her kitchen. She doesn’t bother to answer him in regard to how long he was staying -- he’d soon get the impression that his own time within her world wasn’t exactly negotiable. However, she wasn’t about to come out and say that under the circumstances. 

          Once she reaches the kitchen, Morgana sets off to make a pot of coffee. The smell is perfume to her senses, and she hums rather contently before beginning to look through her fridge. It was clear another food shop would be necessary... a consistent influx apparently to sustain his massive appetite. It wouldn’t be an issue, after all, Morgana wasn’t exactly hurting for funds. Once the ingredients had been neatly arranged on her island, Morgana glances over at him through her waterfall of curls. “You should wash your hands, puisín. What would mummy think if you came to the table filthy?” Cracking a few dozen eggs into her mixing bowl, the coffee pot sizzles as the water begins to boil over. Pausing, she finds two mugs to pour them each a cup. Milk and sugar left for his own devices, she drank hers black after all. 

         “As for your tailor appointment, I imagine he’ll be here within the hour. Once we take care of getting you some new clothes, we can work on the rest.” Like his hair, his room, somehow getting him to happily stay put without causing some sort of fuss. There was also the very poignant issue of his nuisance of a brother trying to track him through her countless spells. Something would have to be done about him too... although she doesn’t imagine Loki would be very pleased with her if it was of the more impactful variety. “Did you get up to much while I was sleeping? You seem rather entranced in your doodles,” Her lips curl again, although her teasing has no malice to it. She almost sounds sweet, mothering in the strangest of fixations. 

[bens-reyshine]

updates:

thanks everyone for patience over the past couple weeks! 

for those who have reached out, the school year has started wonderfully!

I have an amazing group of kids so I’ve been very lucky. However, it is a lot of work so I will be sparse on here for a little while. 

please be patient for the time being! i promise i’ll get back into a schedule soon (:

ps, discord is kind of the best place to stay up to date with me. i can get more mini replies and things done there easier than on tumblr. 

xox, ash

[bens-reyshine]

❝ it’s snowing! ❞ (for Anorýn)

unknown sentence starter meme for @maethorcaun​ || ☀️

       And so it was, the Elvenqueen laughs as her beloved son races into the courtyard to embrace the new season. It makes her heart flutter to see him so joyful. And what was there not to enjoy? Perhaps she should wait under the walkway, watch from afar in some dignified manner – particularly since Thranduil would adjourn his council meeting soon… Yet Anorýn can not help but pull her cloak from her shoulders and follow after her son with a similar enchantment. 

      Waiting for him to turn the pillar, she catches him by the waist before pulling him back into the snow. “And now you, lassë nín, will build with me a great fortress amongst the snows,” She teases faintly along his hairline before releasing him back into his merriment. Eyes catch with the window’s line, the King seemingly lost in thought to his many councilors – but those sapphires’ find joy’s birth to see such innocence bloom in the courtyard. This was truly bliss. 

[bens-reyshine]

strainséir || 🔥

          The burning of books, scrolls, scripts— a painful horror really. A lover of knowledge feels the loss in his bones. The dread of disappointment flutters across his features when she bears the news. He could scarcely imagine. Of all his own histories embedded in the traditions and archives of Asgard and the other worlds, if one were to be lost even his father would be greatly unsettled. These legends, now told by word of mouth alone, were for acquainted ears alone. Loki wonders how easily he could sway these priests.

   But his accidental arrival has stirred trouble for her. For the young woman and her people. He did not intend to endanger anyone. It all had been a fumbling of fate or perhaps another mischievous endeavor that was not originally intended. Some where, others occasionally were not. Today happened to be the exception. The prince still follows her, lingering behind a few steps in caution. There was more at stake here than the repercussions of his mistake, for once he ought to make up for it. It’s what his mother would tell him to do. It’s what she has been telling him to do.

   “I am certain I can return to the relics on my own, that is not what I worry for.” It would be far more appealing to inquire with these priests over history rather than as escorts. “If I have caused this much trouble for you, perhaps I can be of assistance in rectifying it. Should these bullies come to abuse your people, I will gladly stand among your warriors and fight.” His brother may say otherwise on his capabilities, but he was not untrained or unskilled. The perfect opportunity to create a story of his own, this time drowning in its own truth.

   “Why can’t I come with you?” a direct question, in particular response to her hesitations, yet always one to demand reason for law. “Perhaps I won’t need to see your priests as of yet. If you need me to be discreet… I am more than capable. My entry into this forest belittles my abilities, I swear,” Loki gives her a cheeky grin, weak at its corners should she refrain from taking the bait. She has yet to give him any reason to trust anyone or anything within any surroundings. It very well may be best to remain with her, even if at a form of distance. After all, it would be far too soon to return home, even if the relics were unmanned. 

         When he speaks of fighting, it sends shudders through her bones. “I pray you will not be so foolish,” Morgana returns faintly, true fear-laden in her pale features. It speaks highly of one who has seen too much death, of a flower that had tasted many tramplings amongst the snow. “There has already been enough fighting, enough killing--” Morgana is not worth another life being lost. It is what she tries to impart on the druids, but they never seem to listen. No one ever seemed to listen to her and her reasonings. Never much a fighter in her own right, she had been meek now for too long. Fearful of the dark and the lurkers in the shadow. Whatever this stranger might bring, she hoped it would be nothing of that sort. 

          Yet still he inquires further, and Morgana knows not whether to heighten her distrust or to count him as an amusement. It had been an age since anyone had seemed so eager to keep her company. It saddens her to know that it would only be so temporary. “I am not permitted to be out here as it stands, to know I was with a stranger...” The priests would see her bound within the camp for a month. Morgana would be so lucky to eat and drink for a fortnight if he would be found so close to their encampment. “It is a secret, you see, my being here... and those men--” Can never know where she is, WHO she is for that matter. “Well, it would be disastrous if anyone where to find me. It frightens the priests for me to be so far... and with those, they do not know or trust.” She is a captive here too, in a way, although amongst the wilderness she is freer than she ever was under the King’s care. 

          But the issue remained of what to do with him, where she might take him or stash him if he were not able to leave? Morgana does not think she could abandon the stranger in the wood... she would not be so cruel to allow evils to take another soul. But if he could not return to the camp? Her eyes widen faintly, stricken by an idea before she glances along the river. “There is a hut by the base of the valley, abandoned for quite some time... it was said that a dragon lord once lived there.” Morgana knows it to be clear, she had visited it many times in her search for the ancient lands whispered by the druids. “It is no castle or great inn, but it will keep you dry when the snows come.” 

[bens-reyshine]

crá síoraí || 🔥

          The raven was pecking at him. Morgana scolding him. And there seemed to be eyes everywhere. There was too much here. Too much to consider and digest and recollect. He’s tired. Despite having been unconscious for gods know how long. Loki knows his weariness is derived from various origins. One now being her. Waving the bird away, slipping a curse out in frustration before grunting at her. He doesn’t understand what she means– he doesn’t understand much any of it really.

   The trek to the cottage door is short but it felt long, long and painful, and he waits there. Of course Morgana isn’t done. No one ever is. Everyone seems to be so free to spill their anger at him these days. Perhaps he’s getting use to it but it’s a heavy weight on his shoulders. He doesn’t want to grace her ridden words with an answer. Loki knows what would have happened— knows what likely will happen. This wasn’t so much as a rescue as she thinks. He was well beyond rescue. Too late for it. The former over the latter would suffice. It would suffice far better. A bitter end to the misery that is existence. Everything only seemed to make it worse. Anything. Everything– gods. If he had the strength he’d provoke her, wring her neck to make him feel better, only to have her finish him off in the end. It would be easier. 

   Although, as much as his anger was fueled, part of it quickly dissipated as she broke the container of water. Maybe he deserves it. He hasn’t figured that out yet. At this point he doesn’t have the strength to suppose otherwise. Maybe dehydration would be the way to go, but it would likely take weeks. Morgana storms away, the servants flee and Loki stumbles back into the cottage, nearly falling into the bed. He stifles his groans, knowing that it wasn’t necessary. No one was around to hear him, supposedly. Except maybe that bird– it watched him from the window.

   He decides that he’s too tired for this. For all of it. Technically it was decided a long long time ago. Loki turns away from the door, resting on his side to keep the weight off his other hip. Sighing into the comfort of it, reaching to pull whatever blanket was available to cover himself with. Unfortunately it wasn’t thick enough to suffocate himself with it. Green eyes close, doing what he could to ignore the thirst lodged in his throat, the ache in his stomach, and the cawing of the raven outside. He doesn’t think he can sleep, but perhaps if he stayed there long enough he’d whither away. But only if that damned bird would SHUT UP—

        She doesn’t know how much time has passed, and perhaps, it was rather childish in her own right to be so fixed upon him. Any other time she would ignore the issue and continue on, but this time... well she was holding a fugitive. It would have been better to allow his brother to have him back, he likely would have been sufficiently punished for his actions. Morgana’s pride clings to the smallest of authorities that it was her birthright to decide his punishment... after all, her people once held control of the world. Like his father or his brother’s, there was a political game in play. If Odin wanted his sniveling little worm back, he could bloody well start placing bids like a proper representative of the beyond. 

          When a week had passed, she noticed one of the maids leaving him food and water by the edge of the door. At first, it infuriated her -- the sheer disrespect -- but when the pile begins to grow and nothing was taken, her anger turned to worry. Morgana shouldn’t fret over his pathetic welfare, he should suffer... should rot for all the--

          Her bare feet cross the garden rather determinedly before she’s passed the stone walkway to the cottage. A coo from above alerts her that he hadn’t in fact left, but when the door is ripped open he’s no longer there within her clutches. He couldn’t have left. She certainly would’ve known. But where the bloody hell--? Her Loki caws from above her, canting his head repeatedly towards the back of the property. With a furrowed brow, Morgana walks behind the cottage towards the sparse treeline to see movement within her pond. Did he..? Wandering closer, she’s glad to have only worn Midgardian dress as the muddy shoreline dirties her feet. The wind is gentle, turning the flyaway curls from their tight hold atop her head, but she’s more concerned with the barbarian in her lake. Did he even realize she was standing there? She sits on the rod iron bench, crossing her legs and leaning back. “Do go ahead and drown, it would make the burial so much easier for me,” She harps faintly, unimpressed by his antics. 

[bens-reyshine]

legolas || ☀️

“Not cowardly, no. But hope is more powerful than fear. Dark things feed on fear. I won’t be the one to help their power grow, not when I can use hope to fight it.” Naive, perhaps. He has not seen war, has not seen the hopelessness of an outnumbered army, one on the brink of death. But there is conviction in his words, and whole hearted belief.

Cautiously, he watches her, keeping still as she moves forward. He wouldn’t want to offend her by taking a step back, even though his emotions are a mess at having her so close. “I do not,” he admits quietly, as if muttering more to himself than answering her. “Why wait to return now, when things are sure to turn bleak? Why not in lighter times?”

       It is pride that births in his words, tempered by her caution... but more real than anything around them. Perhaps he remained ignorant to the true horror of what awaited them, but there is a fragile piece of Anorýn that rejoices in it. A precious flower not yet bloomed. How lucky she was to see him now? Not quite rooted in the soil or spotted with prickle and thorns, it was a beautiful sight. Anorýn would not apologize for soaking it in so forwardly. Yet his questions do cause some pause, her stance stills and eyes flicker over his expression to find some greater understanding. It was never her goal to upset him, but these moments of bliss would not last... he would need thorns before the next dawn. 

         “Legolas,” She returns softly, hoping to instill some calmness back into the uneasy ground. “I have known nothing but darkness these years, its rot and ruin--” And as sparse as she would keep such truths, Anorýn would not insult him but pretending they did not exist. “And as deep as the shadow has rooted in me, I would not see it take such holds here. Not in you, never you, mel nín.” 

[bens-reyshine]

elladan || ☀️  

      𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐭 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. Anorýn’s words take shape in his head, drawing the vast cityscape of Armenelos out across the forefront of his mind. As her story expands, so does the image he sees unfolding before him: it gains details whipped up by his own assumptions of that unknown land. Indeed, Númenor is forever out of reach for him. He has only the preserved illustrations and stories told over the years upon which to base his cautious conclusions –––– and fantasies. Although the brief recount of the Woodland queen’s story ends with a question for him, he has no intention of dropping the matter just yet.

       He will, however, momentarily stow it for later reference. Assuming her long travels permit her to stay for longer than just this day, Elladan believes there is plenty of time yet to ask his oh, so pressing questions.

       For now, he will instead indulge her once more. It starts with a nod, followed by a thoughtful frown.  ❛  Apart from that presently forbidden realm in the west?  ❜  His tone takes on almost a hint of amusement. He knows it not to be forbidden, in fact — not to his ilk. A journey with no return is what repels him from taking the necessary leap in the aforementioned land’s direction, however. Instead, he feels much more drawn to the exact opposite direction at this time.  ❛  I should like to venture east, actually; well past the borders of Rohan or even Gondor to the south. I should like …  ❜  he pauses, shutting his eyes for a moment.  ❛  … to go not only where I have not yet been, but to go through it and beyond.  ❜  His eyes open to the sight of her looking back at him, still. Elladan smiles almost boyishly.  ❛  Rhûn and Harad are of particular interest to me, far apart though they are.  ❜

        There is great intrigue at his proposals. She turns from the windows ledge to lightly tread along the tables close by, curious to what reading remained. “A most alluring of ventures,” Anorýn returns before her eyes flicker back to him with tethered amusements. “I should then, as any wise kinsmen would, alert you to the rather large LIBRARY located within the hall’s of my beloved husband.” The corner of her lips curls, almost as if she could offer him a secret that certainly would be brought to conjecture with more regal company. “Perhaps such a library contains scrolls of secret missions sent by the great King’s father some years ago...” 

         Fingers pause their journey along books edge, turning to observe the abundance already present before him. His intuitiveness always harkened to her own in a way, Anorýn had always felt more inclined to such a spirit. No longer a sweet honey child, no -- she wishes to offer SOMETHING. A morsel in return for all the inescapable debt she had incurred during her time within Imladris. 

        There’s a shift in the wind, a rustle of steps outside the walls that turns her attentions back towards the window. “I suppose your father will propose quite a grand occasion for our arrival. Conceivably, it is a matter we can discuss with him then?” As sheepish as his smile might appear, Anorýn hopes he understands the potential that was ripe for the taking. Perhaps Lord Elrond would not be thrilled to see the Elvenqueen’s hand amongst the many leading those within his halls... but there could be no conjecture in her motive. She would do a great many things to see those dear to her smile. “What say you, hm? Six moons and I will make my journey back, I dare say I would make room for another.”       

[bens-reyshine]

raven || 🦇

 “I don’t know anymore.”  It’s been difficult lately— sifting through what was real and genuine in her mind from the lies and insecurities the VOICE constantly fed her. “Am I just… gonna spend my life hiding from people like him? People who want to use me for my… power?”

         “Yes,” Riley confesses faintly, not wanting to lie to her and pretend that things would one day be idyllic and rosy. Raven deserves better than a facade, and as much as Riley wants to protect her... “And no.” Shifting, she sits before her to establish eye contact once more, a gentle hand reaches out to take hers. “There will always be monsters who crave power, but their lack makes them weak. And you.... you are not weak.” 

[megairea]