0X1= LOVESONG

They/Them, Non binary, Bi, Ace,  ⁷ 『+✶𖧵』 ‧₊✜˚ ⟭⟬ Call me by any name

[yurimom]

genuine question about the bi/pan thing (i'm gay so i can't really say much on this subject but i'm trying to gather info and see all the different opinions about the discourse)

i always thought that bi is attraction to two or more genders (obv including trans and nb people) and that pan was more of a "i don't care about gender at all" attraction? if that makes sense?

basically bisexual people (at least most) have a preference to the gender/s they are more attracted to, and pan is just "i don't care about gender/sex at all" type of thing where they don't have any preferences?

thanks in advance!

Why is that distinction needed, is my question? That’s a very personal preference that doesn’t alienate you from other bisexuals. Say you love women differently from how you love men- how does creating a new label for that help you connect with others? How does that help you socially, how does that help on a civil rights level? What matters is that you love every gender, not how you love them. You can tell people you have a preference for men over women or no preference at all, that’s fine, no reason to create a new label for it.

Aside from that, don’t you think it’s a bit harmful to insist all bisexuals care about gender while no pansexuals do? Because firstly, that’s simply not true. Plenty of bisexuals, an overwhelming amount, especially historically, do not see gender as a factor. Plenty of people who ID as pansexual do. Also, once again, that paints bisexuals as regressive for caring about gender and pansexuals as progressive for doing so, which is biphobic.

As for the sentiment of pansexual being about “hearts not parts” while bisexuals care about genitals, I have met transphobic cis pansexuals who definitely care about genitals. I have met transphobic cis bi people who also care about genitals. Transphobic cis lesbians, transphobic cis gay men, etc. Transphobia is a cisgender problem, not a problem with any one sexuality- because trans and nb people can be any sexuality, so that doesn’t make any sense.

We did not need this separation. It’s setting us back when what we need is solidarity.

[dykexclus]

[burningbrushmywing]

how many times do nonbinary people have to say that there are infinite ways of using language to describe your relationship to gender but that doesnt mean that each and every label is a coherent biosocial group with rules of presentation that are recognized by society.

because of this, there is no way of saying “i am attracted to ALL nonbinary people and women but NOT men” without including nonbinary people who, at first glance, might seem to you to be binary cis or trans men. its literally not possible.

so here’s a challenge to binary people: stop saying you’re not straight or gay if you find yourself to be attracted to some nonbinary people. stop saying you’re not bi because you like nonbinary people. your attraction to nonbinary people does not make you a completely new sexuality, it means you’re not a transphobe.

tldr gender is a fuck, sexuality is not

[arrhythmiiiaarchive2-deactivate]

(( If I wanted to hear bad takes about my sexuality from random edgelords who know nothing about it or assholes think they know more then an actual fucking Pansexual...I would have gone to fucking reddit or stayed on twitter, god danm! ))

[beommew]

Might as well just delete your tumblr account. Go ahead, delete it. Delete your reddit account too. Go on, dont be shy, delete your whole internet presence for us. 

[lesbianismst]

identities based on misunderstanding

a lot of sexualities seem to be based on misunderstandings (deliberate or not) of other sexualities. some examples:

pansexuality is based on a misunderstanding of bisexuality, specifically that bisexuality is binary or transphobic or what have you

demisexuality, demiromanticism, and grey-asexuality are all based on a misunderstanding of how normal human sexuality works. the idea is that "allos" want sex/relationships all the time, and that the instant we spot a hot person, we become physically aroused, crave sex w them, and want to date them

if real life was actually like some people think it is, I think all of these would be valid identities. but it's not. in real life, bisexuality is inclusive of all genders. in real life, most people aren't constantly horny or willing to fuck/date the first hot person that comes their way.

the only way for these sexualities to continue to exist is for these misunderstandings to persist as well. but that shouldn't happen, because these misunderstandings are dangerous. painting bisexuals as regressive, and depicting "allosexual" lesbians, gay men, bisexual people, and trans people as sex-craved horndogs is literally rhetoric used to oppress the LGBT community.

so yeah, before you identify with one of these identities, consider what it says about how you understand regular LGBT people. if it's homophobic, shut it down.

[rittz]

pansexuals are like “idk it just sounds better, its more fitting, im more comfortable with this label” like just go ahead and say that you think “bisexual” is a dirty word. you’re literally claiming a different label to escape the negative associations that label has. like when a whole bunch of people started identifying as “sapphic” because they didn’t want to use the word “lesbian”. just take like 2 fucking seconds to think about why identifying as bisexual makes you uncomfortable even though you’re attracted to all genders. and the idea of “panphobia” is laughable because what discrimination do pansexuals face that bisexuals don’t face besides being told “your label is harmful”

[cowardly-bisexual]

how many times will you redefine pansexuality after being called before you finally accept that it's okay to just call yourself bi

[rowe-n]

sexuality doesn’t exist for comfort and saying you can chose whatever label you want not only invalidates bisexuals but also pushes back years of LGBT progress. by saying you should be allowed to chose your label, you insinuate that sexuality/gender is a choice, because now you give homophobic people and anti-LGBT people reason to validate their belief that “sexuality is a choice. you chose to be LGBT.”

to say that it is valid to identify as anything outside of LGBT only fuels their fire, especially when said minor identities always argue that “people should be allowed to identify with what they’re comfortable with.” not only can you not choose you gender/sexuality but labels don’t exist for comfort—they exist to define what an individual is.

it’s not our fault if you don’t feel comfortable in your sexuality/gender. it’s up to you to ask yourself:

why am i not okay with labeling myself as x and instead identify as a y, which essentially has the same definition?

what can i do to accept my sexuality/gender instead of denying that is what i am?

you are what you are and you can’t change that. even if it’s hard, you must accept yourself even if that means confronting your internalized phobia and realizing that the label you are currently using is harmful. i understand this may be a hard process for some people to go through but it’s best for both the individual and the LGBT community as a whole.

[discourseqti]

That’s it I’m starting a war on pansexuals

[cruelfeast]

HELPPP they started quoting me and then added shit i never said this is so funny. like they left out like half of my actual reply and said something completely different and deleted the actual reply

also not this bitch trying to talk about biphobia to an actual bisexual woman HELLLOOO. this person is literally aroace. who the actual fuck are you to talk about lgbt problems.

wish i could tag them in this but they blocked me :(

[beommew]

PLS do they not know the difference between Lesbian and Bisexual??? They REALLY thought they did something here. 

[itzphynix]

Hiya!

If I see you on some panphobic garbage, I will block you SO quick.

You aren't welcome anywhere near me, I hate you, & go get bit!

Stop putting bi & pan people against each other, stop saying pan/bi ppl are inherently transphobic, stop regurgitating the asinine Pridefall rhetoric that gets passed around EVERY year.

Also, hii pan folks!! Lov u!! 💖💛💙

[beommew]

how tf do i block people on this site

[cannibal-rainbow]

no matter how progressively you try to put it: implying that lesbians, gay men and bisexuals are incapable of feeling True Emotional Love That Goes Beyond Gender and Sex for their partners is just rephrased homophobia, lesbophobia and biphobia.

[alloshreksual-deactivated202407]

“Well this mspec identity better describes how I feel.”

This isn’t about how you feel. This is about who you are attracted to.

Bisexual already covers whatever super specific definition you’re about to give me for your ‘unique’ sexuality.

You like men and women? You’re bi. You like all genders? You’re bi. You like men, women, and only certain nonbinary identities? You’re bi. You only feel attraction when the moon is full (but when you do the attraction is to all genders)? You. Are. Bi.

And guess what? That’s awesome! Being bisexual is a good thing! And admitting you are who you are and giving up an identity that harms other people just like you is more powerful and free than clinging to your mspec identity will ever be.

[upsetting-lgbtqa]

Bisexuality does not erase pansexuality. Pansexuality does not erase bisexuality. Bisexuality is not more inclusive than pansexuality. Pansexuality is not more inclusive than bisexuality.

[beommew]

then what the fuck is the difference between the two. Why do we need two labels then. 

[werewolf-cuddles]

Why do you keep calling exclusionists fragile? Why don't you understand we're trying to save the community from being overrun with cishets? Why do you lick boots like this?!

cishet = cisgender and heterosexual

By definition, Pansexuals are not cishet. Neither are asexuals for that matter. Or any of the other LGBT+ people you keep trying to push out of the community.

Do better.

[beommew]

Ummmmmmmmmm Asexuals CAN be cishet, thats why we dont want it in the lgbt community. Because you can be Ace/Aro and be cishet but you cant be cishet and LGBT.  Do better. 

[atticroach-deactivated20220125]

Do exclusionsts not realize how fucking stupid they sound to non white aces, aros and pan ppl when they say shit like “you all want to be oppressed so bad ☺️☺️”

Like I know they’re talking about oppression on the basis of sexual orientation but it’s still weird seeing phrases and jokes like that littered throughout the discourse by mostly white people telling me how bad I want to be oppressed and how I want so badly to be beaten or assaulted or some shit. To me those “jokes” were never funny or clever to begin with.

[beommew]

Fun fact: a majority of pan people are white! its been proven in a study.  https://www.lgbtmap.org/file/invisible-majority.pdf

[babdiscourse]

"mom, can we get bisexuality?"

"we have bisexuality at home"

bisexuality at home: