AND I LOVE A CABARET!

Welcome to the page of one Rachel Barbra Berry! The often imitated but irreplaceable star of Broadway. I am sure many of you will pretend you stumbled upon this page accidentally but one does not simply stumble onto the page of the brightest star of New York, a NYADA graduate and the current Sally Bowles in the most hotly anticipated revival since Les Mis and therefore I encourage you to embrace the meticulously detailed and perfectly laid out blog before you. I have recently been informed that there are some poor and unfortunate souls who are unaware of my existence and so I have decided to illuminate you with a short, yet informative life history of one Rachel Barbra Berry. I was born on the 18th of December 1991 to two wonderful fathers, Leroy and Hiram Berry, who had made me out of pure love. To this day I do not know who my true biological father is as they had both of their sperm artificially inseminated into a surrogate, selected from a vast pool of women as she was deemed most compatible based on height and beauty to produce their future star. I do not at this time have any contact with my surrogate nor do I have any means of reaching her. Questions regarding her will not be tolerated. Growing up my fathers fostered in my a love of all things music related, with me winning my first dance competition at the tender age of only three months. My fathers have always provided the best of the best for me and therefore I grew up on singing, dancing and acting classes. My fathers particularly fostered a love of Barbra Streisand in me, clearly an idol of theirs considering my middle name, and I consider her to be a symbol of what I hope to achieve in my own life. Whenever I am down I find great comfort in singing something from her expansive collection of work and reminding myself that one day I will have her success. Following on from my detour to spread my love of one Barbra Streisand I grew up, in, Lima, Ohio, The home of many a Lima Loser and hell on earth for anyone as driven or as talented as me. I attended William McKinley home to many of the Neanderthals and future Lima Losers of our town, and the basis of much of the bullying. This did not stop me, however, from engaging in a thriving school life. I was a member of 18 extracurricular clubs and societies as you can see from my many school yearbook photographs, and these include Kwanza club and founded the GayLesball. My main extracurricular was Show Choir, namely the New Directions, for whom I was once Captain and after a rather unfair demotion became Co-Captain. For the first year of my school career this club was in shambles under the shocking favouritism of one ex-teacher at this school. Although I deny all accusations that I was the one to get Mr Ryerson fired I maintain that this school is far better place without him. Following his replacement by Mr Schue who, although he did have a rather unfortunate habit of taking away solos that were rightfully mine and a bizarre love of 80s rock, proved to be a more than capable leader to our small band of talent. Indeed in our very first year as a team we found success at Sectionals where I performed our opening number the Barbra classic Don't Rain On My Parade to much aplomb and fan fare. During my Junior year I dedicated myself to perfecting the talents of my less talented, pitchy peers and in ensuring I would make it to Nationals in New York. Despite my rousing and moving original song at Regionals meaning we breezed through to the final stage of the competition, we failed to secure the title that year. I can only blame the continued laziness and misplaced jealousy of my team mates for our continued failure to reach my bright potential. I apologize for all the fans who had to suffer with me but every young ingenue must face a few challenges in her life. Only during my Senior year did I finally achieve the recognition for my talents that I deserved in winning both the Nationals Championship, a spot at NYADA and graduating with a 3.8 GPA. This was not without hard work and heartbreak, with my first and last case of stage fright almost robbing me of my rightful place in New York but once again it was my solo performance of "It's all coming back to me now" that truly bought us that victory. My journey then finally brought me to my true home, and the shining lights of New York. I have just graduated from the hallowed halls of NYADA where my talents were honed in order for me to become an even brighter star than I am today. Under the tutelage of such famed performers as Carmen Tibideaux and Cassandra July, it was only inevitable that would make it to the Great White Way. While some may say I faced a harder time there than most under the intense scrutiny of Miss July these past four year I choose to believe I thrived under her pressure and became a better star because of it. We now come to the pinnacle of my life thus far, also known as the moment in which all my dreams came true and I became a Broadway Star. While I always envisioned my first role being one originated by my beloved idol Ms. Barbra Streisand, I was perhaps destined to revive Ms. Minnelli's role instead and the rave reviews regarding both my performance, and the entire show, have more than proven both Cabaret and my own rendition of Sally Bowles to be the very best. Unfortunately, a less talented and vastly inferior Ms. Bowles was able to revive her in a time when Tonys were avaialble but I'm sure my next role will see me walking away with my rightful medallion. I'm sure you will all still be desperate to listen to me serenade you with Cabaret and Maybe This Time so I suggest you attempt to secure your tickets immediately if you don't wish to face the crushing disappointment of missing a future Broadway legends's very first dip into stardom. I look forward to seeing you all at the stage door! On an always relevant note, don't be alarmed if I start blogging as Barbra for a while, it is all part of my preparations to become a star and she more than helps me get into whatever role I shall be playing. WWBSD. It's a way of life, dear fans, and one I truly do advocate. I know many of you will now be wondering about my love life, and where all the men are who want to ‘tap’ this. I am going to have to let you down, unfortunately, as I have learned a star never kisses and tells. After extensive reading of the autobiographies, and the more salacious biographies of my favourite stars, I learned only the elite know when to keep a dignified silence and so I will be doing so with any and all fledgling relationships I may be exploring. I do hope none of my fans are too involved with my love life at the expense of valuing my talents and successes or you are going to spend more than a few years disappointed. Regardless, I bid you a final welcome to my blog and remind you as always fanmail is welcome at all times! Lots of love and stardust, Rachel Barbra Berry ★ var ref = (''+document.referrer+''); var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; document.write('