Taken from the 2021 novel by Casey McQuinston, One Last Stop Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit!
“(Name), stop telling people about frog ghosts.”
“They’re on (Name)‘s sleep schedule, though. So, a ghost in the night.”
“It gave us nine great years. And carpet can hide a multitude of sins.”
“If they’re gonna kill you, get their DNA under your fingernails.”
“That little twink contains multitudes.”
“They love me as much as they love anyone else.”
“You like jokes. I don’t.”
“Do you realize you just say words in any random order like they’re supposed to mean something?”
“I can’t decide if I’m impressed or horrified?”
“Definitely brought me back from the dead more than once, so, thank you.”
“Really out here smashing pussy, (Name).”
“We get about a hundred hot lesbians through here a week. You’ll find another one.”
“Sorry, like, it’s your life and all, but do you not hear how badass that sounds?”
“That sucks. I’m your mom now. The rules are, no Tarantino movies and bedtime is never.”
“Because you have, like, the energy of someone who knows things.”
“A frontal lobotomy to forget the night I had?”
“Never thought I’d see a vampire I didn’t want to fuck.”
“We’ve kissed, like, three times, but they have that thing where they’re terrified of being loved and refuses to believe they’ve deserved it. It’s so tedious.”
“Does it ever, like… I don’t know. Make you lonely? To love somebody who can’t meet you there?”
“I hadn’t pegged you for a scammer.”
“I’m mysterious by nature, (Name).”
“Jesus. What did ya’ll do this time?”
“Hey, what’s up with you? Who hurt your feelings?”
“Who do we have to frame for murder?”
“A gift from (Name)? What god have I pleased?”
“Oh, I’m loving this already. What kind of creatures?”
“Cute. Maybe a poltergeist. A cute poltergeist. Can I meet them?”
“So, you’ve gathered us here to tell us you’re boned up for a ghost.”
“What? Pick the lock? What kind of feral child are you? Are you Jessica Jones?”
“You know, I thought you were a little spicy when I met you.”
“I swear to God, if a ghost kills me, I’ll haunt the shower.”
“I told you, I think, I’m. Something’s wrong with me.”
“Honestly? The day I met you.”
“Yeah, guess I don’t have the whole magical soulmate bond you have with them.”
“(Name). Can we maybe not treat them like a creature of the week?”
“Like you’re their Pop-Tart angel. Like you shit sunshine. Like you invented love as a concept.”
“I think I should kiss you.”
“I’m repressing it! Let me repress it!”
“So many questions for someone who does not come to work.”
“Yeah, exactly. Forever. As in, it’s the only thing I know how to do.”
“I know logistically how to perform some tasks.“
“Go where? I’m trying to have a nervous breakdown here.”
“Can you turn that brain of yours off for a second and trust?”
“It makes me feel like I’m going to die!”
“You trusted me, right? Now trust yourself.”
“Big dick energy is gender neutral.”
“I mean, it’s as if you like to be emotionally tortured.”
“God, you are the most useless bisexual I’ve ever met in my entire goddam life.”
“I’d disappoint them. They don’t deserve to be disappointed.”
“Wow, holy shit, you figured it out. You’re gonna win a Peabody Award for reporting.”
“As fun as it is to break your brain, no one at work knows. Tell them and I break your arm.”
“Is your family horny for Jesus too?”
“I’m not cute. I’m-I’m tough. Like a cactus.”
“Where does that disembodied voice keep coming from?”
“They’re always wearing the exact same thing. That’s ghost behavior if you ask me.”
“And I left them. That’s… Fuck. I forgot how that felt. I left them.”
“Yes, thank you. I invite you to eat a dick. Goodbye.”
“Maybe no good timing means there’s no bad timing either.”
“You’re a normal person. Under un-normal circumstances.”
“That’s new for you, huh? Being able to get drunk?”
“Is this a date? Am I on a date right now?”
“(Name). Any way you want to kiss me is the way I wanna be kissed, okay?”
“You’re like—like a fucking painting or something stupid like that, what the fuck. You just walk around like this all the time.”
“Sorry, was I skulking? Sometimes I skulk without realizing.”
“Okay, still, let me be a mom for a second.”
“(Name), we’re adults, just say you got your back blown out.”
“I guess criminal behavior isn’t as much of a turn-on for me.”
“Never go to a second location with someone unless you’ve checked their trunk for weapons first.”
“Let go of me. I deserve to be free.”
“They’re not gonna leave us if they get married, (Name).”
“How did this become a roast of me? (Name) is the one under the table.”
“I’m wearing a shirt and no pants. I’m Winnie the Pooh-ing it.”
“What do you mean? Why would they leave me something? I’m the shameful family secret.”
“No. I hit him. The lip is from when someone else pulled me off of him.”
“It’s like I died. I died, except I have to feel it. And on top of that, I have to feel everything else I’ve ever felt all over again. I have to get the bad news again every day, I have to deal with the choices I made, and I can’t fix it. I can’t even run from it. It’s miserable.”
“No, you didn’t. But you made me realize it. You made me remember. And maybe that’s worse.”
“Just because you can’t run doesn’t mean you can make me do it for you.”
“Uh-huh, and this wouldn’t have anything to do with the way you reflexively ice out anyone who even appears to have rejected or wronged you?”
“Oh, so they… they thought I just left without saying goodbye?”
“It’s not a heist. It’s… an elaborate, planned crime.”
“Okay…hmm… oh, I’ve made friends with a subway rat.”
“Judge all you want, but I’m the only one who will be spared in the inevitable Great Rat Uprising.”
“No, it’s cute! You’re such a nerd. It’s endearing!”
“What can I say? I’m the one that got away.”
“I have to say, I’m impressed. This is definitely the most organized crime I’ve ever been involved in.”
“Sometimes the point is to be sad, (Name). Sometimes you just have to feel it because it deserves to be felt.”
“For what it’s worth, you’ve never disappointed me once since I’ve met you.”
“Is there anything else you want, before tomorrow?”
“I just did it because I thought you were hot.”
“I was really lonely before I met you.”
“I like when you’re in crime boss mode.”
“They have to kill him. It’s the only way.”
“I can think later. Right now I just want to be here, okay?”
“I’m here. I’m not leaving.”
“You’re the most important person I’ve ever met. And I never should have met you at all.”
