Best Nachos in Vancouver

Commit to the chip

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The Bimini Public House

It was out of desperation I went into The Bimini on 4th Avenue seeking nachos recently. 

I hadn't had tortillas for what felt like forever (about two weeks!) and this Donnelly Group pub seemed to be the only place serving them at three in the afternoon.

I was also incredulous, when I realized I’d never tried nachos at The Bimini before, even though it’s my local pub...

So, a pint of Postmark West Coast Pale Ale in hand, I ordered the nachos for $18, plus guacamole (an extra $3) and chipotle pulled chicken (an extra $4). Pretty pricey, but I was hopeful.

When they arrived, I could see this was a plate - and price - designed to be shared. No matter - I was hungry! 

Diving in, on the plus side, there was plenty of Cheddar and Monterey Jack cheese to go round, layered thickly on top and underneath, binding together generous helpings of olives, jalapeños and tomatoes.

However, the chips were a little too toasted and at times, salty, and the little chipotle chicken that was hidden among the tortillas wasn't so chipotle after all.

The dips were equally a mixed bag. The guacamole didn't seem that fresh, but still tasted fairly good. The salsa wasn't quite spicy but it didn't fall flat either. The jalapeños and sour cream went well together.

I devoured about half the plate before I conceded defeat and got the rest boxed up to take out. By then, my cheese cravings had been temporarily satiated, and in the cold, rainy light of day, I had to admit the platter just hadn't grabbed me.

The lack of chicken, chipotle and strong dips made these nachos a little lacklustre. Sure, it was a hefty, cheesy sharing plate for friends - but not one for my favourites list.

The Bimini 2010 W 4th Avenue Vancouver, BC, V6J 1M9

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Tacofino Gastown

I can’t believe how long it took me to go to Tacofino on my quest for good nachos.

Finally, I got a table at their Gastown taco bar and my friends and I eagerly ordered a feast of cocktails, tacos and nachos - with guacamole of course!

I had just enough time to get through my smokey mezcal cocktail, before the nachos arrived, on a platter that seemed a little small for $14 (plus $4 for guac).

But what they lacked in portion size, these nachos made up for in quality and freshness of ingredients. 

The house-made tortilla chips were thick and golden, seemingly hand-cut segments of corn tortillas, fried to a satisfying crisp. 

These crunchy chips were strewn with tomato, red onion, cilantro and feta, all drizzled in chipotle sour cream.  Everything tasted overwhelmingly fresh.

The generous serving of chunky guacamole was no exception, providing even more zest to these tasty nachos.

I was starting to think Tacofino might make it to my favourites list. There was just one problem.

For all the freshness, there was no heat, no spice, not even a jalapeño.

We asked our server for some hot sauce, and she returned with bottles of house-made salsa verde and salsa roja. Neither of them were hot or spicy.

We asked for something hotter and they came back with a bottle of Valentina Salsa Picante. 

While everything else about these nachos screamed superlative, their lack of heat left them off my favourites list. 

Still some of the freshest nachos I've had in this town, though. Go and get yourself some tipples, tacos and tortillas and let me know what you think!

Tacofino Gastown 15 West Cordova Street Vancouver

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Doolin’s Irish Pub

At 11 am on a Saturday, it was way too early to be sat in Doolin’s Irish Pub on Granville Street, but we wanted to watch the rugby.

What started as a morning sports outing however, soon turned into a daytime drinking affair, and more sustenance was desperately needed.

So, of course, we turned to the trusty nacho. Doolin’s nachos are a little different, branded Irish Potato Chip Nachos on their extensive menu.

Nevertheless, we were hungry and we ordered the full size of hand-cut potato chips, cheese, tomatoes, scallions and sour cream for $12. 

We opted not to add any bacon, chicken, beef, or extra cheese for $2.50. My companion was vegetarian, and we wanted to judge the cheese as it came.

They arrived pretty quickly and we dug in with an open mind, although we noted that for a full size plate, the serving was pretty small.

The potato chips were thick and crispy, although a bit greasy, and we all agreed, the platter would have been better with hand-cut fries instead.

I enjoyed the fact the toppings were on top, but the plate suffered from a total absence of guacamole, which wasn't even offered, and very little cheese.

The salsa was really just chopped tomato, as described. Still though, it would have been good to have a little spice in there.

The sour cream, however, - and this may be the only time I ever say this - was a stroke of genius.

Sprinkled with chopped scallions, and mingled with the potato chips, it gave the whole dish an overall taste of leek and potato soup, rather than nachos.

Quite fitting for an Irish pub.

Doolin’s nachos are not going on my favourites list, but they certainly were an interesting Irish twist on the traditional nachos we know and love. Good job - just add fries next time!

Doolin’s Irish Pub 654 Nelson Street Vancouver

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The Foundation - Part 2

The “amazing” nachos at The Foundation are widely considered to be the best in Vancouver and I've been publicly slammed for disagreeing. But even after a second serving ... I'm still not convinced.

I first reviewed the nachos from The Foundation, a vegetarian eatery on the corner of Main and 7th, last year. They didn't make my favourites list.

To recap, the problems I had with these nachos back then were:

- boring toppings - lacklustre dips - overtoasted chips - lack of cheese - bad service

I hadn't been back to re-review anywhere before, but I made an exception this time, due to the huge love shown for The Foundation when Vancity Buzz published a Q&A with me recently.

I didn't mention the place at all in the interview and didn't include it in my accompanying recommendations. 

But a lot of people commenting on the Vancity Buzz story on Facebook labelled me a sham for ignoring The Foundation, and accused me of taking payment from the restaurants I had recommended.

This is not true. 

I eat nachos in my normal life then publish my honest opinion. I have never received any free nachos or payment of any kind for any nacho review, or the Vancity Buzz interview. And I always pay my own way as a regular customer.

But hearing all this comment, I decided to answer my critics and give The Foundation another try. Maybe they were just having a bad day on my first visit.

So it was that, after a day of beercycling around the Eastside’s craft breweries, I found myself in The Foundation with friends, ordering nachos. Again.

I was enthusiastic, optimistic and hoped to have my previous review proved wrong.

Trying to make sure I didn't miss out on any nacho specials like last time, I asked our server which would be better, the nachos on the menu or the nacho special? And what was the nacho special, as I couldn't see the blackboard?

But she seemed completely unenthusiastic, failed to tell me anything about the special and simply told me I’d want the nachos off the menu. So, I duly ordered the Utopian Nachos - large, with guacamole.

On the plus side, when the nacho platter arrived, it was massive - a huge heap of multicoloured chips, black beans and yellow corn.

But the tortillas were again overly toasted and the black beans and sweet corn topping (with token jalapeños), while plentiful, suffered from lack of variation. There really is nothing special about beans and corn as a nacho topping.

Credit where credit is due, there seemed to be more cheese this time round, but it still wasn't enough to balance out the uninspiring beans and corn and overly baked chips.

Meanwhile, on the dips front, the salsa wasn't spicy at all, actually tasting more like supermarket chopped tomatoes, which in turn made the sour cream pretty pointless, with no flames to fan out.

On the other hand, the guacamole was pleasingly chunky and tasted good.

These weren't terrible nachos, but they weren't great either. Crucially, in the end, no one at my table thought these were the “best nachos in Vancouver” or as they are so often described, “amazing.”

Which got me wondering, why do so many people seem to think the nachos at The Foundation are amazing? Maybe it’s the value for money. 

Our serving was huge, more than enough to split between me and my two friends, and a total bargain at $20 - or less than $7 each!

Sadly though, great value does not always mean great nachos.

Instead, (as long as you’re OK with the slow service) I’d recommend trying something else off The Foundation’s menu, which is full of dishes more imaginative and delicious than the nachos - and just as good value.

The Foundation 2301 Main Street Vancouver, BC V5T 3C9

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La Tortilleria

A lazy Sunday stroll and tasty impromptu nachos? Just another glorious weekend in Vancouver!

These unexpectedly delicious nachos came from La Tortilleria, a Mexican deli in Granville Island’s famous public market. Nachos are available to take out with one, two or four toppings - of course, I asked for the full four toppings, at the bargain price of $9.50.

No sooner had I ordered, then my server began digging into a huge sack of tortilla chips with one hand, layering up chips on a white paper plate.

Then out came the slightly smaller bag of grated cheddar cheese as she grabbed large handfuls of grated cheddar cheese and spread them liberally over the tortillas.

I paused, in suspense, to see if she went back to the tortilla bag...Yes! There would be a second layer! I had a good feeling about these nachos already. 

After layering up more chips and more cheese, she swiftly popped the plate in the microwave for what felt like an excruciatingly long 90 seconds. 

Meanwhile, another server was filling up another paper plate with four toppings - guacamole, beans, salsa and sour cream. I paid...and I waited.

When the microwave pinged, the staff presented me with the tortilla and topping plates separately, but I asked them to tip the toppings on top of the tortillas (gotta love that alliteration.) 

They happily obliged and I highly recommend you do the same - it’s more convenient for a fast food joint like La Tortilleria, and it’s more interesting, all those flavours mingling, as they sink into the tortilla chips and cheese.

And these nachos were worth sinking into. The chips were warm, there was plenty of cheese - it turns out 90 seconds was just right.

On top, the salsa was fresh, the guacamole was homemade and the thin white sour cream nicely offset the fat black beans.

Six simple ingredients combined to become more than the sum of their parts on this deceptively small plate - and it took me longer than I thought to finish this takeout feast.

These nachos may not be deluxe, they may not be gourmet, but they excelled at the honest take out task before them. 

It’s hard not to add these nachos to my favourites list, but if you’re on Granville Island, and feeling the urge, these are definitely the nachos to go for. 

La Tortilleria Granville Island Public Market 145 - 1689 Johnston Street Vancouver V6H 3R9

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Burgoo on 4th Avenue

It was another rainy Vancouver evening when I trekked up to Burgoo Bistro on 4th for a night of nacho reviewing (and Amy Poehler memoir reading) after a busy day writing. 

There were two options on the menu, Nacho Fuego, with chorizo, and Nacho Pollo, with chicken. My server told me the staff prefer the Pollo, so I went for that. 

I wasn’t sure what to expect of nachos at Burgoo. The dark, oak interior reflects the restaurant’s approach - tasty, traditional, comfort food. I enjoyed their gooey macaroni and cheese. But what would they do with my beloved nachos? 

When they arrived, it was clear Burgoo had created nachos with their own twist. 

The oversized tortilla chips were jammed into an individual skillet, still hot, with guacamole heaped on top and olives, chicken and cheese trapped underneath. 

Impressive and surprising…but not very practical.

While the chunky, homemade guacamole tasted great, it was really difficult to dig down through the dense pile of chips to find the other toppings. When I did, there seemed to be only a sprinkling of chicken, in small cubes, and a thin coating of cheese. 

It was really difficult to scoop anything up, and there were no other dips included (who would have thought I would be lamenting the lack of dips on the side?) so I had to take the chips as I found them, wet or dry.

Sure, these Burgoo nachos were filling and tasty, but they were a little too impractical and sparing on the toppings. Good, but not a favourite.

Burgoo Bistro 2272 W 4th Avenue Vancouver, BC V6K 1P2

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The Mexican, Antojitos y Cantina

I was pretty merry by the time I got to The Mexican on Granville Street last weekend. 

We’d spent the day at Unbuckled, drinking beer dressed as cowgirls, and that evening, despite curly fries and a pizza slice, I was still damned hungry. We all know there’s only one solution to that at midnight. Nachos! So off we went to The Mexican, where I’ve tried unsuccessfully to get nachos many times before. Either they had no tables, or their nacho oven was broken ... I braced myself for more disappointment. But this time, success! We got a table, we got some Negra Modelos and we got nachos! At $11, including guacamole, they were priced just right, plus we paid an extra $3 for picadillo (on the side, as one of my friends is vegetarian.)

When our feast arrived, it was clear these nachos were a notch above the usual fare. A healthy serving of guacamole and beans sat atop a plate of crispy corn chips, fresh pico de gallo and serrano chiles — all smothered in sour cream and quesillo.

Nacho makers take note — Oaxacan quesillo is one of my favourite cheeses in the world. 

Quesillo is stringy but not fake, it’s tasty but not overpowering, it’s gooey but not gross. And when I lived on a turtle conservation camp in Oaxaca, it was a rare treat that all us volunteers worshipped. Sitting in The Mexican on Granville Street that night brought back some pretty crazy memories. It also answered a question I have long pondered.

What makes superlative sour cream? Cheese! Dripping thin sour cream all over the quesillo was an inspired and delicious innovation.

And as for the rest of the plate - the guacamole was homemade, chunky and fresh. The beans were smooooooth and the picadillo ground beef was just the right balance of sweet and spicy.

Normally, the quesillo, plus all the wonderful dips, would be enough to shoot these nachos onto my favourites list. And that is exactly where they’re going.

But the real pièce de résistance? The indulgent roll of crispy grilled cheese crowning the plate — a guilty but gorgeous pleasure.

Be in no doubt, like all the other food at The Mexican, these nachos were fantastic. They definitely get a place on my favourites list! The Mexican, Antojitos y Cantina 1049 Granville St. Vancouver BC V6Z1L4 

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The Cove Neighbourhood Pub

It was with huge surprise I realized I’d never ordered nachos at The Cove in Kits recently. 

I used to go to trivia nights there all the time - and in fact, that’s what I was doing there this time - so why hadn’t I tasted their tortillas?

So, as we tried to settle on a trivia team name (“Tinder Surprise!” won out - and won us an extra 50 points for being the best name of the evening), I ordered full nachos, with guacamole and pulled pork. I was excited!

Our feast arrived quickly and, with no time to waste before the trivia started, we set about the colourful platter, only to be met with even more surprises.

The pulled pork was not ripped apart but spread throughout in succulent, meaty chunks - and in amongst them, lay a single bay leaf. Someone culinary had thought these nachos through. I appreciated that.

I was also impressed to see find that just because there was delicious pork on the menu, the cheese had not been neglected. Cheddar streamed between the tortillas, laden with jalapeños, olives, peppers, scallions and meat.

As we happily gorged our way through layers of multicoloured tortillas, our attention turned to our trio of dips. 

Ever the dip left behind, the sour cream was nothing special. The salsa meanwhile was fresh, but too much like simple chopped tomato. The guacamole was best of the bunch, homemade, and chunky enough.

These nachos had a lot going for them, especially the pulled pork, which would have been delicious served on its own. But as is all too common, this dish, so lovingly prepared, bay leaf and all, was let down by its disappointing dips. Good - but not great.

The Cove Neighbourhood Pub 3681 West 4th Avenue Vancouver

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Main Street Brewing

As an avid craft beer drinker, I spend a lot of time hanging around the breweries that have sprung up on Vancouver’s East Side over the last couple of years.

One of my favourites is Main Street Brewing on 7th at Scotia. It’s pretty small and packed most of the time, but the beer is delicious.

Plus they serve those bacon and cheese twisties every craft beer drinker in Vancouver craves and expects from every good tasting room.

Main Street also serves meals though, so for a change I decided to branch out recently and order nachos to accompany my Saison no.7.

As usual, the service was quick and friendly, and the food arrived swiftly - in this case, a generous plate of multicoloured chips covered in blended cheeses, accompanied by a trio of promising dips.

Diving in, I was disappointed to find the chips very dry and bland, the toppings without any real kick or originality.

Worse, while the cheese was plentiful, it failed to bind them all together, being stuck in big clumps rather than evenly spread throughout the platter.

The dips on the other hand, were surprisingly good. 

The guacamole tasted homemade, and although it was blended smooth, the fresh ingredients did add texture, with a garlic edge. 

The salsa also seemed homemade. Sure, it didn’t set my tongue on fire, it was loaded with spices and chopped herbs that added to what would otherwise have been a simple tomato sauce.

Sadly, with nothing on fire, the sour cream sat a little redundant, if momentarily tasty.

Overall, these were disappointing, unadventurous nachos given the high standards set elsewhere at Main Street Brewing. 

But then, we’re not there for the food. We’re there for a damn good beer - and a bacon and cheese twisty.

Main Street Brewing 261 East 7th Avenue, Vancouver, BC 

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Check out the full interview!

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Beaver Bar at Same Sun Backpackers

We never meant to stumble into the Beaver Bar, sunkissed but bleary eyed after basking - and drinking - on my friend’s deck all day long.

I mean, we live in Vancouver. Why would we ever find ourselves in a backpackers like Same Sun? Ironically, it all began with The Mexican, directly opposite on Granville Street, which was so busy it had no room to seat us for tortilla treats. (Again. Sigh.) So there we were, needing nachos with nowhere to go. We asked Yelp! and who knew? The Beaver Bar was hiding nachos right there in plain sight.

We felt pretty nervous, walking into the darkened hostel bar - especially as the Spice Girls told us what they really, really wanted on the poptastic soundtrack.

But before I knew it, we’d been welcomed in by an Aussie, a Hefeweizen was in my hand and fully loaded nachos with guacamole and beef were in my face.

This basketed pile of yellow chips looked deceptively flat, but smothered in cheese and ground beef, with hints of olives, onions and jalapeños. 

As we worked our way down, that tasty theme only intensified. The cheese got gooier, the meat got richer. 

No chip was left untouched as we chowed our way to the bottom of the basket.

Meanwhile, on the side, the usual trio of dips sat in shiny white bowls, full of promise - but it was not to be. The salsa was disappointing, reminiscent of a can of thick chopped tomatoes. There were no chillies in sight. I wanted fire, but I got passata. 

The guacamole was better, with a fresher taste, albeit blended smooth. The sour cream, sadly, was denied its true purpose with no chilli blaze to neutralize. Despite the disappointing dips though, these nachos proved pretty satisfying in a solid kind of way. What you want as a hungry backpacker with friends  - cheap, substantial and cheesy.

And as one of my eating companions quipped, if that isn’t enough cheese - or spice - for you, there’s plenty more on the Beaver’s banging 90s pop soundtrack. Beaver Bar at Same Sun Backpackers 1018 Granville Street Vancouver, BC V6Z 1L5 http://samesun.com/thebeaver/vancouver/

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Howe Sound Brewery in Squamish, B.C.

It was an unpredictable journey we took to get to Howe Sound Brewery in Squamish, one spontaneous Saturday back in January. 

We snowshoed up Cypress Mountain on Vancouver's North Shore, but had to abandon hope of reaching the summit due to thick mist.

We fled up Highway 99 to Brackendale for the annual eagle festival, but the beautiful birds were nowhere to be seen after all the salmon carcasses they craved had been washed downriver by a flood.

We hiked down the snowy Mamquam River only to find the elusive eagles watching us from the trees as we crunched along the frozen riverbanks.

All before lunch. By the time we got to the brewery, my socks were soaking with snow and we were all as hungry as the eagles. It was time for beer. And nachos.

The brewery offers Brew Pub Nachos, which include pinto bean dip, for $15. Pulled porks adds another $3. In front of a log fire, it was exactly what we needed.

The platter looked great when it came out, loaded with ruby red pulled pork and emerald green jalapeños, all slathered in shimmering mozzarella and cheddar.

The mention of two specific cheeses on the menu always instils me with hope and I couldn't help thinking the Howe Sound Brewery had actually put some thought into these tantalizing nachos.

My first few bites showed they had thought this through - but I'm not sure they went far enough. 

While the top layer of these tortillas flaunted the goods, underneath there was a lack of pulled pork, and crucially, cheese of either kind.

The pulled pork actually seemed to have been previously bathed in a BBQ marinade, but by the time it emerged in the tortilla pile, tasted a little too dry.

Meanwhile, the foursome of dips mingled in and out of my favour as the feast went on. 

The thick sour cream was rich and sweet and the fresh tomato salsa was spicy and chunky. But there was a lot of liquid collecting at the bottom of the salsa pot.

The guacamole was tasty, but not super fresh; it seemed too smooth to be homemade. The spicy pinto bean dip was a welcome guest at the table, but proved a little too thick for effective tortilla dipping.

The Howe Sound Brewery is clearly a purveyor of quality food and drink, if my Smoked Chocolate Porter is anything to go by - or my friends' delicious Ale and Cheddar Soup.

And these weren't bad nachos. They just needed a little more - a little more meaty moisture, a little more glimmering cheese and a little more delicious dipping.

Howe Sound Inn and Brewing Company 37801 Cleveland Avenue Squamish, BC V8B 0J9 http://www.howesound.com/home.aspx

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G Sports Bar & Grill

It was late on a Thursday night when we stumbled into G Sports Bar & Grill on Granville Street still wearing our Canucks jerseys. 

We'd just witnessed the Canucks lose 3-1 to the Florida Panthers at Rogers Arena and we needed to salvage the night.

A friend had urged me to try the "mindblowing" ground beef nachos at G Sports - so there we sat, the only people in the bar, drowning our sorrows in Hop City Barking Squirrel.

We ordered the nachos without even looking at the menu, but the barman advised us to go for a half order for $12 instead of the full $16 (plus $3 for guacamole and $4 for ground beef).

He was right. Even the half serving was huge. And sitting atop that glistening mound of tortillas, a pile of browned ground beef, vibrant green peas and golden sweetcorn. 

Now, I spent most of my formative years watching Friends on loop, so these nachos inevitably prompted comparisons to Rachel's dessert of half an English Trifle and half a Shepherd's Pie. 

Unlike Rachel's dessert, these nachos did not taste like feet. But neither were they mindblowing.

Sure, the tortillas were crisp and warm, and the beef was moist and subtly sweet. Combined on a chip with peas, corn, chopped tomato, jalapeños, scallions and cheese, it was a substantial mouthful.

But there was no hot, tasty spice. No delicious, meaty marinade. The guacamole, salsa and sour cream, whilst plentiful, were not memorable enough to compensate. And sadly, there was not enough cheese.

Ultimately these nachos also suffered an integral structural weakness - if you cover tortilla chips in moist ground beef, they will get soggy and you will be unable to scoop.

These weren't bad nachos. Meat lovers who want a simple ground beef topping, with plenty of dip, would probably rate them more highly. But for this spice lover, these nachos simply failed to pack a punch.

G Sports Bar and Grill 1208 Granville Street Vancouver BC V6Z 1M4 http://gsportsbar.ca/  

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Sushi Bella Kitsilano

Sushi Bella is one of my favourite Japanese joints in Vancouver. Its small, friendly Kitsilano location on West 4th Avenue has great food, great service, great prices - and all only two minutes' walk from my place.

Now, I knew the small, friendly restaurant had an unusual menu, including Crunchy Go-Go rolls and sushi pizza. But when I saw the unexpected phrase sashimi nacho on the menu...well, you know me.

The menu described the sashimi nacho as "bite-sized assorted sashimi with tomato salsa on crispy wonton chips". I had to order it. And when it arrived - as with everything I've ever eaten at Sushi Bella - I was impressed.

The wonton chips lay buried in vibrant mounds of green spinach, pink radishes, red cabbage and fiery orange tobiko. For the first time, when confronted with a plate of nachos, I had no idea where to begin. 

But I am, of course, committed to the chip, so I began my quest by digging through the colourful salad layer to try to locate a wafery wonton crisp. I discovered so much more.

Hiding inside this healthy heap of salad, four succulent slices of meaty sashimi tuna lay strewn with a delicate carnival of fresh avocado, tomato salsa and spicy jalapeños. 

I picked up a chip draped in Japanese sweet dressing and delivered myself a serving of tobiko, avocado, sashimi and salsa. It was a strange moment - but the taste was exquisite. 

With sashimi nacho, Sushi Bella have created a delicious, delicate twist on the original nacho we know and worship. A totally unexpected but delightful experience in my quest to find the Best Nachos in Vancouver.

Sushi Bella 2049 West 4th Avenue Vancouver V6J 1N3 sushibella.com

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The Pirate Pub (Burrard Bridge Marine Bar and Grill)

Another sunny winters day had swung around and Vancouver's North Shore mountains were still not properly open.

With no particular plans, we wandered around the seawall and like many similar days all year round, ended up at the Pirate Pub.

The pub, under Burrard Bridge, is properly named the Burrard Bridge Marine Bar and Grill, although no one I know actually calls it that - probably because it's a wholly unoriginal name.

Decked out in pirate paraphernalia, it's a great spot to sit along the seawall, and admire the waters of False Creek on a sunny day - even in winter, thanks to massive overhead heating grilles.

I've had many happy days lounging on their patio with friends and usually order the (extremely tasty and easy to share) pizza.

But on this day, Caesar in hand, I somehow convinced my companion to share some nachos instead. What could go wrong?

At first glance, the nachos seemed reasonably harmless. A thick layer of cheese, banana peppers, tomato and onion blanketed a platter of multicoloured, warm chips.

We dug in. The experience began well. The marbled Cheddar clung to the chips and banana peppers satisfyingly. The tortilla chips were crispy and warm, but not burned.

On the side, however, the small guacamole, small sour cream and large salsa, sat, chilly in the winter sun and decidedly underwhelming. The guac tasted zesty but the serving was too small. The salsa wasn't spicy or even particularly tasty, rendering the sour cream rather pointless.

Giving up on the dips for the meantime, we returned to our nacho heap, finding solace in the thick helping of cheese crowning the platter. But as we worked our way down quickly, worse was to come.

Underneath...hardly any cheese. Typical, I thought, cursing my almost religious faith in the utopian idea of layers upon layers of tangy, gooey, mouthwatering Cheddar.

But that wasn't the worst of it. Not only was there no more cheese, there were barely any actual intact chips remaining.

Instead, we found a pile of tortilla chip dregs, as if the kitchen had run out halfway through piling the plate and just tipped out the bag, before layering on new chips for the top.

If ever there was a cardinal sin of nacho making, this may be it.

After that, it was hard to continue, literally. I couldn't physically scoop anything up with tiny scraps of chip and there was no cheese to bind anything together. After a few minutes of searching the remainders for the largest pieces, we gave up.

I complained to the server about the dregs and she said she'd tell the kitchen. I was too polite to ask for a discount, but neither was one offered.

To my mind, if you make a substantial part of a guest's food from the scraps left in a tortilla bag, you probably shouldn't charge them full price for the pleasure.

I left, wholly disappointed. These nachos were unadventurous, unsatisfying, and substandard. Worst of all, they had made me contemplate something a nacho reviewer should never have to face.

I wish I had ordered the pizza.

The Pirate Pub (Burrard Bridge Marine Bar and Grill) 1-1012 Beach Avenue Vancouver http://www.burrardbridge.com/

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La Casita Gastown

It was a chilly, wintry Saturday afternoon when we drifted into La Casita in Gastown. Downtown Vancouver had seen its first snow of the season and while we spent the day gazing with anticipation at the local ski hills, for now, we were just plain cold.

What better way to warm up then, than a hearty Mexican feast of nachos? At La Casita, there are two types of nachos offered. Texas Nachos for $9.50 - as you'd expect, a platter of crispy tortillas, draped in cheese, salsa and other toppings. And Nachos, for $8.50 - a simple alternative centred around a bowl of melted cheese.

In the spirit of adventure, I decided on a shot of mezcal to warm me up, a Dos Equis chaser - and to try the alternative, simple Nachos, with a guacamole side, before following that up with a chorizo chimichanga. Sure, I was cold - but I was also hungry.

When the nachos arrived, their simplicity was striking - the thick, homemade tortilla chips orbiting the bowl of molten cheese and chunky tomato, like warm, crispy meteorites gravitating towards a golden, gooey sun, glowing red with salsa flares.

Dunking straight in, the cheese dripped from the chip, its viscosity higher than fondu but varied, as if it were a blend of cheeses, some of which had melted more than others, making for a more interesting dip.

The thickness of the cheese was perfectly matched by that of the chips, which were sturdy enough to guarantee a full helping of cheese with a sprinkling of salsa in each scoop.

On the side sat a mixed, albeit high quality, offering. The guacamole tasted homemade, fresh and zesty, but while the salsa roja and salsa verde were also obviously homemade, neither were very spicy or memorable. The mezcal on the other hand...pure fire.

But I digress. Back to the cheese. Or rather, the chips, which we ran out of. We asked for another helping, but instead of being served more of the thick, crunchy nacho chips, we were given a basket of thin, snacky chips. Sure, they were fine - but it wasn't the same and it felt like an inferior option.

If I'm honest, that is how I felt about the rest of the feast. The food which followed was nothing special and the service overall was patchy. No sooner had our mains arrived than our nacho dish was gone - without regard for whether we had finished or not.

Yes, the idea of a Mexican fondu sounds amazing and it was a pleasurable - and gooey - dip into an interesting alternative. But I needed something more substantial. Back to the Texas Nachos I think.

La Casita Gastown 101 West Cordova Street Vancouver V6B 1E1 http://www.lacasita.ca/

[bestnachosinvancouver]

St. Augustine's

St. Augustine's on Commercial has been suggested multiple times to me via the Best Nachos In Vancouver Facebook account.

But strangely, even though I used walk past St. Augustine's every week, I had never made it down there - until now.

These nachos were a happy coincidence, as I was only there to meet up with friends before a comedy night at the excellent Rio Theatre.

As it turns out St. Augustine is the patron saint of brewers, printers and bizarrely, the alleviation of sore eyes.

Which brings me nicely to the moment my nachos were delivered - this colourful plate, piled high, was truly a sight for sore eyes.

These were delicious nachos right from the start, loaded with pulled pork and slathered with toppings.

The pork, heaped on top, was plentiful and succulent. Crisscrossed directly underneath, generous servings of guacamole, salsa and sour cream formed a gooey gateway to melted Cheddar cheese and warm, perfectly toasted chips.

There were some slight niggles I had. The jalapeños and peppers were really just extras, watching the main event from the sidelines. There could have been more cheese and the toppings could have been a little less gooey and a little more zesty.

But the riotous flavours provided by the combination of pulled pork, delicious dips and crispy chips, all in one handsome heap, made these some truly tantalizing tortillas.

Devilishly saintly, or saintly devilish, they definitely deserve to be on my favourites list.

St. Augustine's 360 Commercial Drive Vancouver, BC V5N 1N3 http://staugustinesvancouver.com/