#piratepub

[dennislindbom]

Party like is the 1760th. #piratepub #tricorne

[bestnachosinvancouver]

The Pirate Pub (Burrard Bridge Marine Bar and Grill)

Another sunny winters day had swung around and Vancouver's North Shore mountains were still not properly open.

With no particular plans, we wandered around the seawall and like many similar days all year round, ended up at the Pirate Pub.

The pub, under Burrard Bridge, is properly named the Burrard Bridge Marine Bar and Grill, although no one I know actually calls it that - probably because it's a wholly unoriginal name.

Decked out in pirate paraphernalia, it's a great spot to sit along the seawall, and admire the waters of False Creek on a sunny day - even in winter, thanks to massive overhead heating grilles.

I've had many happy days lounging on their patio with friends and usually order the (extremely tasty and easy to share) pizza.

But on this day, Caesar in hand, I somehow convinced my companion to share some nachos instead. What could go wrong?

At first glance, the nachos seemed reasonably harmless. A thick layer of cheese, banana peppers, tomato and onion blanketed a platter of multicoloured, warm chips.

We dug in. The experience began well. The marbled Cheddar clung to the chips and banana peppers satisfyingly. The tortilla chips were crispy and warm, but not burned.

On the side, however, the small guacamole, small sour cream and large salsa, sat, chilly in the winter sun and decidedly underwhelming. The guac tasted zesty but the serving was too small. The salsa wasn't spicy or even particularly tasty, rendering the sour cream rather pointless.

Giving up on the dips for the meantime, we returned to our nacho heap, finding solace in the thick helping of cheese crowning the platter. But as we worked our way down quickly, worse was to come.

Underneath...hardly any cheese. Typical, I thought, cursing my almost religious faith in the utopian idea of layers upon layers of tangy, gooey, mouthwatering Cheddar.

But that wasn't the worst of it. Not only was there no more cheese, there were barely any actual intact chips remaining.

Instead, we found a pile of tortilla chip dregs, as if the kitchen had run out halfway through piling the plate and just tipped out the bag, before layering on new chips for the top.

If ever there was a cardinal sin of nacho making, this may be it.

After that, it was hard to continue, literally. I couldn't physically scoop anything up with tiny scraps of chip and there was no cheese to bind anything together. After a few minutes of searching the remainders for the largest pieces, we gave up.

I complained to the server about the dregs and she said she'd tell the kitchen. I was too polite to ask for a discount, but neither was one offered.

To my mind, if you make a substantial part of a guest's food from the scraps left in a tortilla bag, you probably shouldn't charge them full price for the pleasure.

I left, wholly disappointed. These nachos were unadventurous, unsatisfying, and substandard. Worst of all, they had made me contemplate something a nacho reviewer should never have to face.

I wish I had ordered the pizza.

The Pirate Pub (Burrard Bridge Marine Bar and Grill) 1-1012 Beach Avenue Vancouver http://www.burrardbridge.com/