This will be my last and final post on Tumblr since I will either have someone take over my blogs (change passwords and all that) or I will end up just deactivating it completely.
I've been using Tumblr for a majority of my pre-adolescence and it was a nice place for me to lay down all of my inner contemplatives and pent up emotions. As I grow older, I start to realize how social media, not just Tumblr, has started to effect me in a more negative way.
My life had become open to the world. Too open. I was losing my sense of self, and didn't feel like myself unless I had someone liking or commenting on something I posted. I felt less alone, less afraid, and more relatable.
But because my business is posted about so often, my life is no secret. The only person that should know the most about you is yourself.
I have strangers or people that I actually know masked behind anonymous faces, just so they can ask me questions and pry into my subconscious. After a certain number of asks, I started to realize how many people were starting to be aware of my business and how much information I was actually feeding these people.
Also, I had this power myself. With everyone these days leaving their lives open on social media, it's easy for me to just see what someone has been up to with the click of a mouse. "Stalker." I started to "stalk" people online often. I would never ask them questions or try to contact them, but I would just read what they posted, who interacts with them. It's unhealthy, but its not unusual. I know I'm not the only person who does this. Everyone does this.
But it takes an emotional toll, especially when you see things you don't want to see. I could be in a wonderful mood, but once I open a certain page and see...let's say a girl talking to you, I become enraged, jealous, and annoyed.
Self destructive. Trust dwindles due to social media, my self esteem is shot. My god, I know you've all heard the "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH?" line from your friends or maybe yourself. Honestly, I know I am not the only one who has voiced this opinion: Romance has been ruined by the progression of technology and social media.
People also lie and manipulate their true selves just to appeal to others over the internet. They'll flirt and throw themselves out there because they're just typing to a screen all day. I wonder how these people work in real life situations.
I just find it all to be...very annoying and I don't see the point of keeping all of these anymore.
I will go back to putting my thoughts in a physical journal, and open up only to those I wish to speak to.
Little by little, my life will disappear from the internet, and maybe I'll just fall off of the grid completely.
Guess we'll see where this will take me.
janainaart
yousharknotpass
jbbartram-illu
snowghoul
2087
titsay
areudirty
germansingergirl
gummygunk
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kianamaiart
