Bethany Joy Writes

Random musings while finding my voice, muse, talent, and words again. Expect poetry, prose, and snippets of thoughts.

[bethanyjoywrites]

It’s just another lie.

Another heartbreak.

Another lie as I give and give and give

myself away for the same cycle to repeat itself.

I’m ignored, abandoned, left to rot

this pain away.

My joy only lasts a flicker of a second

but it’s sorrow that burns in my soul.

- Bethany Joy

written in 2017

[bethanyjoywrites]

Pieces

I am allowed pieces of people. Slivers of their life wink at me, offering glimpses into the entirety of their being. These shards are sharp and slice through my flesh if I’m not gentle enough, and when I hold them in my hands, they create gashes that bleed like hot tears, rolling down my cheeks. They leave scars on my skin, faint memories of what once was and what will never be.

- Bethany Joy written in 2017

[bethanyjoywrites]

The Horizon

I am no longer rushing, running, to and from the things I don’t need, as the lazy winds of your tongue shifts its path across my skin, pooling me into a state of bliss. I float in the calm of your breeze, listless as time passes trough the slow expanse of your sky.

We meet at the horizon of our bodies, intertwined. However, I am known to drown and you to fly. We guide ourselves in different directions.

These tears rain down and fill me up because I know I have found my match as the air that surrounds us sparks with electricity but friction builds between us. If only I could hold you the way I want and touch you the way you do me, without bringing you down, we could take on this world.

- Bethany Joy written in 2017

[bethanyjoywrites]

Beached

I stand at your foreign shore, alone. I am stubborn and unmoving, set in my own ways, forgetting what it’s like to swim. I watch, motionless, as your tide envelopes me, sinking my toes further into the embankment. Your eyes blue like a stormy sky, the smell of the crook of your neck is hot sand, earthy, and, finally, I melt, as your saltwater kiss find my lips, your caress a warm breeze, and your body just as inviting. I surf your waves, rising high, cresting, sure and certain of their destination, all leading to the same place. I fall, hard, into your shore, tumbling, beached, and broken, as your waves crash around me. Then, suddenly, your tide pulling away, returning to the sea, to a place I don’t belong, or can follow, taking a piece of me I can never get back. I’m soaked with these memories but a little crushed by the fact your smell still lingers in my bed, but you’re not here. Stunned by where this life had led, unfamiliar with what should be known, as I pick myself back up, and plant my feet down firmly and, once again, I stand, alone.

- Bethany Joy written in 2017

[bethanyjoywrites]

Masked

You wear a mask so tight and well others believe the face you show them, unaware of how thin your skin really is. We are all only flesh and bone and the only things that make us different are the choices we make. You lie, and I do too; but not when it comes to my integrity and the people I love. I am an open book, this face you see is mine.

-Bethany Joy written in 2016

[bethanyjoywrites]

Chasm

He’ll never know my heart like I thought he would. I’ll never get to love him like I wanted. This chasm in the middle of my chest gapes open and steals my breath. Constantly, I’m shoveling other boys, the drinks they buy, the lies they tell, and that soft caress I can pretend is yours, into the void, but it isn’t the same and I fear I’ll be breathless forever. - Bethany Joy written in 2015

[bethanyjoywrites]

Catch

Connect the stars that mold us, I’d like to be a part of you. Fall fast and hard– know I am here– I’ll catch you if you need me to.

-Bethany Joy written in 2005

[sleevesofgrass]

Writers live forever in the books they leave behind.

pieces of souls /// kiraswriterthings (via thesocietyofpoets)

I just want to leave a piece of myself behind.

[bethanyjoywrites]

Zombie

You created this monster.

Mindless wandering, ever searching a craving of human flesh. It is never satisfied, it has no feelings, doesn’t care who it has to hurt in its endeavors to replace what is rotting. This creature is horrifying, decaying, continuously feeding, infecting, spreading this disease to those who come too close. There is no cure for this being, no heart.

But once she was whole, human, and happy, and blended with the rest of us. Unaware was she, this being, of the heartache that would erase the memory of what life was like before. There was love, and smiles, and a hopeful future.

Once, this being was beautiful but, now, lies left her broken; marred her, changed her, darkened her. Blinded by regret, haunted by loneliness, taunted by pain. You poisoned her with your filth and stole her heart. In return, she torments others continuing the cycle, spreading the sickness.

And you, you created this monster.

-Bethany Joy written in 2010

[bethanyjoywrites]

Untitled 4

I dream big and fall hard but this life I live is worth it.

[bethanyjoywrites]

Life

Life draws itself on a blank piece of paper; white and empty–before colors begin to take shape and form brilliant works, until something clashes. An error. A mistake. A wrong mark that sends everything into chaos. Instead of being scratched through everything is erased and the page is blank once more for Life to start anew. -Bethany Joy written in 2007

[bethanyjoywrites]

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I'm a reader and a writer; a lover, not a fighter.

[bethanyjoywrites]

Phoenix

Like a phoenix, I will rise from the ashes we made of empty words but for now, I’ll wallow in the soot of the fire we created. I sit in the middle of the embers, allowing the cold to embrace me, stunned, the warmth I found is no longer here. Eventually, the shell that encases me will break, leaving me exposed and alone, until a new plumage grows over to cover these scars– and if you believe me when I say I’m okay, it just shows how good I’ve become at pretending– but I will be reborn, and I will start anew– and maybe in my new life, I’ll be able to forget about you. I will rise, and I will spread my wings wider to show the world I have nothing to hide.

-Bethany Joy written in 2009

[bethanyjoywrites]

Heart of the Matter

My heart is buried deep underground 
with the boy I gave it to 
and alive (or dead), here I am 
numb, alone and unable to get it back. 
So I aim for hearts because I’ve forgotten 
what it might be like to have one; 
and while I don’t want to break yours 
I will, I will. 
Still, with broken, bloody hands I’ll dig 
and even if it kills me, 
I’ll find that heart I lost so long ago.

-Bethany Joy written in 2009

[bethanyjoywrites]

Hold On

There are many things I’ve let slip through my fingers: water, sand, you.

We hold onto this life we live, so imperfect and great; but sometimes, some people let go because they don’t understand the gift we’ve been given. In this life, we make our paths with our hands. Everything we could need for, want for, ask for, is within our grasp. All we have to do is reach out and take it, mold our lives and sculpt them how we choose.

I just can’t get a handle on anything. My hands are small, my grip is loose and can’t hold on to much, but now, I’m trying and the things I can manage, I hold near in hopes they don’t slip through like the things I took for granted.

-Bethany Joy written in 2014

[bethanyjoywrites]

Untitled 2

You caught me by surprise with your blond hair and bright eyes. 
The words you said to catch me 
stopped me in my tracks, and, 
from that point on, 
I just wanted you to hold me. -Bethany Joy written in 2015

[bethanyjoywrites]

Untitled 1

I just want to be myself, so that is what I’m going to do. I’m sorry if you can’t handle the beautiful and wonderful person that I know I am. -Bethany Joy written in 2015