b e t h a n y

🦄🦄 freaked out

[bethanyyyyyyy]

correct xxxxxxxx

[sweetfcwn]

tequila and loyalty - alfie buttle.

sorry the formatting is weird, i'm posting this from my phone

you’re already in bed when your phone buzzes.

it’s nearly midnight and you’ve been curled under the duvet for ages, book in hand, eyes barely open. the night’s been quiet, uneventful—until now.

alfie [11:47pm]

bby i think i’m so drunk but also i miss u and also i can’t find my keys also do you like burritos???

you blink at the message.

then another comes in.

alfie [11:48pm]

i’m outside ur flat. i’m cold. plz hurry i think i saw a fox.

you scramble out of bed, heart already soft, throwing on the nearest hoodie and slippers. when you open the front door, there he is—leaning against the railing, cheeks flushed, hair tousled, a dopey grin spreading across his face the moment he sees you.

“there’s my girl,” he slurs, like he hasn’t seen you in months instead of hours. “you’re so pretty. like. unfairly pretty.”

you cross your arms. “you’re pissed.”

“correct.” he holds out his arms dramatically. “do i still get a hug?”

you sigh, but it’s fond, and you step forward, wrapping him in your arms. he sinks into you immediately, chin on your shoulder, swaying slightly.

“you smell like tequila,” you murmur.

“wrong,” he mumbles. “tequila and loyalty. i told everyone at the pub i’m in love with you.”

you laugh. “oh yeah?”

“mhmm.” he presses a kiss to your hair. “chip said i’m whipped. he’s right. fully cooked. done for. medium rare.”

“babe, that’s a steak.”

“you’re my steak.”

“you’re drunk.”

“i’m in love.”

you tug him inside before he attracts a noise complaint from your neighbours. he stumbles a little as he kicks off his shoes, mumbling under his breath about how the hallway carpet feels like clouds.

you guide him toward the couch, but he veers off course and collapses onto the floor instead, flat on his back, arms splayed like a starfish.

“alfie.”

“yes, darling?”

“why are you on the floor?”

“just need a minute. to recalibrate.”

you kneel beside him, brushing his hair off his forehead. “do you want water?”

he lifts a finger. “two things. one, i love you. two, i would like… water. and maybe crisps.”

you leave him for a moment to grab both. when you return, he’s still on the floor, but now he’s humming a slow, off-key version of a song you don’t recognise.

you hand him the water and he sits up, nearly spilling it before you steady the glass for him. “thank you, nurse. you’re very beautiful.”

“you’ve said that three times now.”

“doesn’t make it less true.”

you help him drink, then open the crisps and place the packet in his lap. he immediately starts eating them like he’s never seen food before.

“why did you drink so much?” you ask gently.

he shrugs, mouth full. “chip kept buying rounds. then arthur dared me to do a shot. then i missed you and got sad. then i had another shot to feel better.”

you reach over to brush crumbs from his jumper. “and now you’re a mess.”

“but your mess,” he says, looking very pleased with himself.

“unfortunately.”

he grins at that, reaching for your hand. “can we cuddle now? floor’s nice but you’re better.”

you tug him up with some effort and lead him to the couch. he flops down dramatically, arms wide, making grabby hands at you until you climb into his lap. he hums happily, nuzzling into your neck.

“you’re so warm,” he whispers.

“that’s because you’re freezing.”

“yeah, but it’s also because you’re the love of my life.”

your heart clenches a little. drunk alfie is always affectionate, always clingy, but something about the way he says it—completely sincere, like it’s the only truth he’s sure of—makes you melt.

you tuck a blanket around both of you, running your fingers through his hair.

“you’re gonna feel like shit in the morning.”

“worth it,” he murmurs. “would do it again. for you.”

“you didn’t even drink for me.”

“everything’s for you, babe.”

you roll your eyes, smiling. “you’re ridiculous.”

“you’re perfect.”

there’s a beat of silence as he settles, his breathing slowing a little, his arms wrapped tight around your waist like he’s afraid you’ll disappear.

you think he might be falling asleep until he says, voice soft, “sorry if i worried you.”

you look down. “you didn’t. well, not much. just glad you’re safe.”

“always safe with you.” he tilts his head up, meeting your eyes. “seriously. i’m such an idiot sometimes but i know i’m lucky. so lucky.”

you kiss his forehead. “i know. and i’ll remind you tomorrow when you’ve got a hangover.”

he groans. “be gentle.”

“we’ll see.”

he grins again, then yawns, eyes fluttering shut. “you’ll still love me even if i puke later, right?”

you laugh. “i’ll love you especially then.”

“gross. but romantic.”

you pull the blanket tighter and settle in, letting his weight anchor you. you know he’ll be embarrassed in the morning. maybe even apologetic. but right now, in this moment, he’s soft and yours and safe.

he shifts slightly, mumbling one last thing before drifting off.

“you smell like mine.”

you kiss his hair and close your eyes.

[w2slover]

daddy

[bbabycamehomee]

Cathartic

summary: three grown men versus one iceberg-induced breakdown

contains: alfie buttle x reader, mentions of infidelity, crying

word count: 2476

a/n: thank you so much for all the love on the first part!!!!!

maree's new girl au

“So you know how in movies, the main character always ignores the signs?” you said, chuckling at the irony, one leg bouncing under the table as you still couldn’t quite believe the situation you were in right now. “‘Guysss, that’s his girl best friend, they’ve known each other since middle school. They’re always like that.’ And all you want to do is scream at her ‘he’s obviously cheating, you stupid, stupid girl. What is your problem?’ Well my story is kind of like that.” 

Nobody said anything for a second, which gave you the perfect opportunity to barrel on anyway. 

“Because I was that girl. I was the girl in the cinema with her best friend, laughing in my seat going ‘oh he’d never,’ for like two years, when clearly, in hindsight, there were signs everywhere. I mean the amount of times he was late to dinner because he had ‘work drinks,’ who has work drinks that often, he didn’t even like his coworkers! That should have been sign number one, but noooooo, I just kept making him dinner, asking him about his day at work like an absolute—”

Suddenly you were fully aware, somewhere in the back of your mind, that you’d been talking for a while. You just couldn’t seem to find the off switch. 

“—and then there’s the whole kitten heels, which, by the way, who wears tiny kitten heels to someone else’s apartment, at least commit to a proper heel. And I just keep thinking about the fact that I bought that mattress, I picked out that mattress, I spent an entire Saturday testing mattresses in that awful showroom, alone, and he, he just let some girl with god awful kitten heels —”

“Sorry,” you said abruptly, aware that the room had gone very quiet and three sets of eyes were on you with varying degrees of concern. “What was your question again?”

Cal, who hadn’t touched his coffee once during your entire monologue, looked at you with the flat, unbothered expression of a man watching a mildly interesting TV show. “We asked you if you have any pets.”

You stared at him. He stared back, entirely unfazed, like he hadn’t watched you spiral through the five stages of grief in under ninety seconds. 

Beside him, Alfie had a hand pressed over his mouth, shoulders shaking slightly, very, very obviously trying not to laugh. Josh looked like he was debating whether it would be rude to offer you a hug.

“Nope, no pets,” you said weekly, cheeks burning. “Sorry. I don’t know what that was.”

“You know what’s funny? When I saw your ad, I thought you were women.”

He room went quiet for half a second before Alfie let out a bark of laughter he clearly hadn’t planned on. “Why would you think that? That’s crazy. I mean, what-”

“Josh wrote the ad,” Cal said, not looking up from his coffee. “Oh,” you said. “I guess it was something about the words you used. It was like, ‘sun-soaked.’ And ‘girls night snacks.’” Alfie and Cal both burst out laughing at that, and Chip’s ears went slightly pink.

“What are you doing?” Josh said, alarmed, as Alfie suddenly reached for the hem of his gym shirt and pulled it off in one motion, entirely unprompted. “Wow,” Cal said, sipping his coffee unamused like this happened every day. Which you were starting to suspect, it did. 

“What about these?” Alfie asked, flexing with far more confidence than the moment had called for. “These look girly to you?”

"What are we looking at here," Josh muttered, rubbing his temples. "That's baby smooth."

"This is LLA," Alfie declared proudly. "Ladies Love Alfie.”

Cal turned to him very slowly. "What did you just say?" He nodded toward a mason jar sitting on the counter, a strip of masking tape across the front reading DOUCHEBAG JAR in blocky letters. "Go put a pound in the jar. Now.”

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. Now."

"Dammit," Alfie sighed, grabbing his shirt off the floor and slinking off toward the jar, dropping a coin in with the wounded dignity of a man who had clearly made this exact walk many times before.

"LLA," Josh called after him, shaking his head. "What is wrong with you?"

You stood up slowly, glancing around the loft, exposed brick and big windows and a douchebag jar with what looked like an alarming amount of change already in it. "This place is beautiful," you said, mostly to fill the silence. "It gets so much light."

“You know what,” you said, feeling something reckless rise up in your chest, “I actually want to live here.”

“Right, well.” Josh cleared his throat. “I still have a few questions. No offence, but we barely know you.”

“Yeah. No, that’s fair.” You took a breath. “Okay, full disclosure, I'm kind of an emotional wreck right now because of a breakup, so I'll probably be rewatching La La Land or Titanic about six or seven times a week. Possibly a day, depending on how the week's going.” Cal’s eyebrow twitched upwards slightly, though whether in judgement or approval was genuinely unclear. 

"I'm a scriptwriter," you continued, gathering momentum now, "so I talk to myself a lot, full conversations, sometimes entire arguments between two characters that don't exist, out loud, in public, I've had people on the tube look at me like I've lost the plot." You paused. "Also I act things out sometimes. Whole scenes. With voices." You demonstrated, briefly, a small dramatic hand gesture, then immediately regretted it. "And I've been living with my best mate who is disgustingly good at everything, cooking, running, being a functional adult, and I just need to live somewhere I'm not constantly reminded that I once put a fork in the microwave."

"How soon can you move in?" Alfie said immediately, practically vibrating.

"Alfie, slow down," Josh said.

"Not happening," Cal said flatly, at the exact same time.

"Can you give us a second?" Josh said, already steering the other two toward the hallway. "We just need to, er, consult amongst ourselves."

"That's not a thing that happens here," Cal said.

"It's happening right now."

· · ─ ·ʚɞ· ─ · ·

The bathroom door clicked shut behind the three of them, and you stood alone in the middle of the spacious loft, doing your absolute best to not listen to their conversation through the wall. It did not work.

"I say yes," Alfie's voice came through, muffled but enthusiastic. "She acts out whole scenes with voices, Josh. I want that in my life every day."

“I say no,” Cal said. “I like coming home, sitting on the sofa, and not performing basic humanity for a stranger. I like silence, and a woman who talks to herself is not it.”

“Right, well, look.” Josh called out again, clearly trying to referee. “I’ll admit, there are pros here, and there are cons, alright. I’ve lived with women before, my sister, for a two months, after uni, and it’s not all bad–” “That doesn’t count, Josh, that’s your sister.”

“It’s valuable data, Cal! Pros:a better smelling flat. Cons: occasionally the vibe shifts and you have no idea why. Pros: someone else who understands why you refuse to throw out a plant that’s clearly dead.”

“Make a decision,” the agitation in Cal’s voice was prominent now.

“I’m getting there, hang on–” There was a pause, then a very distinct rustling sound, followed by Alfie's voice, gleeful. "Oh, don't, don't do the hood thing, Josh, please don't do the hood thing."

"The hood helps me think."

"It doesn't help anyone think, put it down—"

"I know exactly what I'm talking about," Josh's voice said, slightly deadened now, as though genuinely speaking through fabric.

"We've broken him," Alfie said. "We pushed him too far."

There was a long pause.

"Alright," Josh's voice came again, muffled but decisive. "Executive decision. She's in."

"Yes!" you said out loud, immediately clapping a hand over your mouth, because you had absolutely not meant to let that slip through the wall you were very obviously eavesdropping against.

The bathroom door opened a second later, Josh emerging first, hood still half up, looking simultaneously proud of himself and faintly embarrassed. Behind him, Alfie was already grinning, and Cal trailed last, arms crossed, wearing the expression of a man overruled by democracy.

"You're not going to regret this," you said, before any of them could change their minds.

· · ─ ·ʚɞ· ─ · ·

You were sprawled across the sofa, blanket cocooned around you, several tissues already sacrificed to the cause, phone wedged between your ear and shoulder as Titanic played for what was, if you were being honest with yourself, the third time that week.

"I've got to go, mum," you said, dabbing at your eyes. "No, I'm not crying. I'm not watching anything sad." On screen, Rose let go of the door. You made a small, wounded noise. "I have to go."

Alfie wandered in just as you were finishing up, take-out bag in hand, and paused at the sight of you buried in blankets, tear-streaked and clutching a cushion like it had personally wronged you.

"Alright there," you said, wiping your eyes, phone still pressed to your ear. "Hey, are you gonna murder me in my sleep? Since you're basically a stranger I met on the internet."

"Yeah," Alfie said, without missing a beat, dropping his takeaway bag on the counter like this was a perfectly normal exchange to be having. "That's exactly it. Been planning it for days, actually."

"He says no," you said back into the phone, then, before your mum could respond properly, "I've got to go, mum. Love you, bye."

You hung up, and Alfie was still standing there, arms crossed, surveying the wreckage of tissues and blankets around you with something between concern and morbid fascination.

"So," he said. "Should I be worried?"

"About what?"

"About this." He gestured vaguely at you, at the blanket cocoon, at the small mountain of tissues on the coffee table, at the frozen frame of the Titanic poster still glowing on the TV. "You've been down here every night this week. I thought maybe you'd died and nobody had told me."

"I haven't died."

"Could've fooled me." He came round the side of the sofa and peered at the screen properly. "Is this the one with the boat?"

"It's Titanic, Alfie,” you said, surprised he didn’t know the name of the movie. "Right, yeah, the boat one." He nodded slowly, like this confirmed something. "How many times is that now?" You considered lying. "Three."

"Three tonight, or three total?"

"...Total."

"This week."

"...Maybe."

He let out a low whistle, dropping down onto the arm of the sofa, entirely uninvited, one leg hanging off. "That's mad, that is. You know how it ends. The boat's still going down every single time. He's still going to be freezing in that water."

"I know how it ends, Alfie, that's not the point."

"Then what's the point?"

You opened your mouth, then closed it again, because you genuinely didn't have a good answer, not one that didn't sound completely unhinged said out loud. "It's cathartic," you settled on eventually.

"Catha-what?"

"Cathartic. It means it helps. Watching something sad when you're sad, it's like, it lets it out properly."

"Sounds like something a therapist made up to sell more appointments."

"It's an actual psychological concept, Alfie."

"Is it, though?" He reached over and stole one of your remaining tissues before you could stop him, examining it like evidence. "Because from where I'm sitting, it just looks like you are crying on my sofa for the fourth night running, and I'm the one who has to live with the aftermath. There's used tissues everywhere. I don't know how that happened. I don't want to know how that happened."

"That's not mine," you said pointing to a mountain of tissues on the corner of the table. 

"It's got your lip balm on it."

You grabbed the cushion and threw it at him, only mildly. He caught it against his chest with an exaggerated oof, grinning despite himself.

"See, that's more like it," he said. "That's the spirit. Violence, not sadness."

"I hate you."

"No you don't." He said it easily, without any real weight behind it, like it was simply a fact of the universe, and infuriatingly, you didn't have a comeback ready.

Josh and Cal came through the front door a minute later, both slightly out of breath from a run, and stopped dead at the state of the living room, the tissues, the blanket cocoon, Alfie sitting on the arm of the sofa holding a cushion like a shield.

"Oh, for God's sake," Cal said, taking in the scene with the weary resignation of a man who had walked into this exact tableau one too many times. "Is she still watching the boat film?"

"She is," Alfie confirmed. "Cathartic, apparently."

"It's not cathartic, it's concerning," Josh said, dropping his water bottle on the counter and coming round to properly survey the damage. "Right, that's it, we're doing something about this."

"I'm fine," you said, entirely unconvincingly, pulling the blanket further up around your shoulders.

"Okay," Josh said, clapping his hands together in the manner of someone taking charge of a situation whether it wanted to be taken charge of or not. "New plan. We're all going out tonight. Properly out, not 'stand in the kitchen and have one drink' out."

"I don't want to go out."

"Nobody's asking if you want to," Cal said, already crossing the room and switching the telly off before you could protest. The silence that followed felt oddly loud. "You've been down here every night this week making the rest of us sad by association. It's affecting the whole flat."

"That's not true."

"Josh cried during the news yesterday," Cal said. "The actual news. A segment about interest rates."

"That's unrelated," Josh said quickly. "That's a separate issue."

"Don’t think it is, man."

"Right, well, either way," Josh said, steering the conversation firmly back on track, "you're coming out with us. We'll get you dressed, get some food in you, get you away from the boat for one evening. Consider it a public service."

"For who?"

"For the couch," Cal said. "Mostly."

You looked between the three of them, Alfie still grinning from the arm of the sofa, Josh already halfway to your wardrobe like he had personal opinions about what you should wear, Cal standing with his arms crossed, entirely unmoved by any protest you might attempt.

"I really don't have the energy to argue with all three of you at once," you said eventually.

"Good," Josh called from the hallway. "We leave in three hours. Actual clothes, none of this blanket-as-a-cape situation."

· · ─ ·ʚɞ· ─ · ·

[bethanyyyyyyy]

alfie moaning in his new vlog

uhhhh yes please

[minnieroll]

[bethanyyyyyyy]

nvm he looks gorg

[bethanyyyyyyy]

for fucks sakes

[bethanyyyyyyy]

oh my god

[buttlesbunnie]

[bluerose42]

Greetings

alfie buttle x reader summary: you and a stranger are forced to live together for a week with no contact to the outside world notes: someone help me with a team name pls trapped masterlist

Day One

11:45 AM

Your suitcase was heavy and way too full, the zip was threatening to re-open with every stair you climbed, the apartment building was large and full of cameras but you expected nothing less from the sidemen

Your friend Tobi had begged for you to be in their most recent video due to someone pulling out last minute, all you knew about said video was living with a stranger for a week and competing with 2 other duos to complete the most challenges successfully earning points for your team

You weren't a stranger to sidemen videos, you'd been in multiple over the years, leading to a major growth in your YouTube channel, where you posted weekly vlogs about your day to day life

"Thought you guys were meant to be loaded" you deadpanned the camera nearby as you lugged your suitcase up the stairs "cant afford a bloody lift"

You eventually reached the floor of your flat for the week, the door labelled 208 was unlocked, thankfully as you hadn't received any keys

The living room was large enough for a 3 seater cream sofa with a small coffee table placed in front and a large tv which seemed to have no remote

"You definitely skimped out on this one" you walked towards the kitchen opening the draws and cupboards to see 2 bowls, 2 plates and 2 pairs of knives and forks "definitely a second channel vid"

You continued to snoop before the letter box in the front door opened and shut with a clang dropping a single envelope on the floor, you hurried over quick to read the secret document

The front of the envelope read 'for readers eyes only' you quickly ripped it open not caring to save the envelope

"Reader, your new roomate will be arriving in 2 minutes, your first challenge is to scare them upon arrival" you laughed at the note before quickly moving to behind the front door where they would enter it was a boring place to hide but it was the first place you saw

The wait for the door to open felt way longer than it was due to the anticipation, you didn't know who to expect, you knew majority of the people in the uk YouTube scene partially due to how many sidemen videos you had appeared in

When the door opened you barely had chance to look at the figure entering before you screamed making them jump

"Fuck off" a large man said holding his hand over his heart "nearly gave me a heart attack" his voice was rough compared to yours

"Sorry" you laughed "it was my first challenge" your voice was sincere despite your laughter at his reaction "i'm reader" you held out your hand finally taking the mans apparence in

He obviously worked out regularly, he was a large man with his curly brown hair cut recently into a mullet, and a pair of coloured sunglasses covering his eyes, you wouldn't lie he was very attractive

"AB" he responded taking your hand and making a weak attempt at eye contact without blushing "have you been here long?" he questioned moving to look around the flat

"Just got here, cupboards are practically empty" you warned as he moved to the kitchen, leaving his suitcase near the front door next to yours

"It's nice though" he spoke turning back around to you "bit small for the sidemen" he laughed opening the fridge to see its empty

"That's what I was thinking" you smiled "so what kind of content do you make?" you asked wanting to get to know the man more

"Just do vlogs really" he laughed to himself

"Me too" you exclaimed "this is gonna be easy we've got so much in common already"

"Have you seen the bedrooms yet?" AB asked walking down the hallway you'd yet to discover

"No I've only had time to look around the kitchen" you confessed following him to the other side of the flat

The two of you stood outside 3 doors one labelled 'diary room' and when you opened the other two you found a bathroom and a bedroom containing a double bed

"One room" AB spoke slowly unsure of what to do in the awkward environment "one bed"

"Thats one way to break the tension" you laughed feeling slightly nervous to share a bed with the 6 foot man

~

12:15 PM

Later in the diary room you sat there in silence, looking around the room unsure what to do, AB or Alfie as he said you could call him had already done his first interview so now it was your turn

"Reader, how do you like the flat" a voice spoke making you jump a little

"It's very nice, were lacking a bit on basic necessities like food" you shifted in the chair trying to get comfortable "but overall, its nice"

"How do you like your new roommate?" the feminine robotic voice asked its tone remaining consistent

"He's great, seems like a good guy, im presuming we have 2 very different fan bases which will be interesting considering we do similar things" you truthfully looked into the camera, a smile making its way to your face

"Please return to the living room, your first challenge awaits"

~

12:25 PM

"AB and reader, this is your first official challenge together" you read from the card on the kitchen counter "you will be competing against the 2 other duos, so you need to try your best" you slid the card over to AB allowing him to read the rest

"You will be participating in the blind, deaf challenge, the blind participant must do all physical aspects of the challenge, the team who wins will receive 3 points" he read out making you laugh "please open your front door"

"Sounds like a torture method" you moved to the front door finding numerous ingredients, noise cancelling headphones and a blindfold

"I'm shit at baking" Alfie confessed holding his hands up "so i'll let you be in charge" he stepped back

"Okay, so do you wanna be blindfolded, so I can see?" you asked handing him the blindfold

"How the fuck do you tie this?" he struggled holding the black cloth around his eyes struggling to secure it on

"Lean down" you giggled moving to help the man

He complied quickly moving down to help you reach near his eyes

"You're actually tiny" Alfie told you now completely blind after you tied the back of the cloth into a knot

"Compared to you, who isn't" you organised all ingredients out onto the counter before placing your headphone on top of your head "I presume we're suppose to be making cupcakes" you assumed looking at what's in front of you

"Okay I can do that" AB hyped himself up forgetting you cant hear him "what do I do now?" he waited for your response "oh fuck, you cant hear" he laughed at himself

"So" you started talking at a volume way too loud for unprotected ears "im gonna hand you the ingredients i just need you to pour it into the bowl in front of you"

"Can do" he responded taking the first packet off you and tipping it upside down

"Great, that was really good" you praised "okay now the milk, be careful yeah" you grabbed his hand to carefully pass him the liquid, the constant contact with you made his face flush not use to this much physical touch "now the egg, can I help do you think that's allowed?" you questioned not wanting him to smash the egg everywhere

"not sure girl" alfie responded forgetting again you cant hear

"ill just guide your hand" you spoke taking his hand again and gently cracking the egg on the side of the bowl "were doing so good" you held your hand up to high five the man eventually noticing he cant see and moving his hand to hit yours "mixing time" without your guidence alfies hands plunged into the unmixed dough

"Ugh, that's a horrible feeling when you cant see it" he complained with a laugh

Eventually everything was mixed to your standards and you and Alfie had somehow managed to put the mixture into a tray and now you had to put it in the oven

"Okay move this way" you placed your hands on Alfie's waist trying to manoeuvre him around the kitchen "stop" he stopped moving in front of the oven and you lowered him till he placed it inside "done" you took your headphones off and he removed his blindfold

"That was easy" he high-fived you again "we've got this in the bag"

"I don't even know what the challenge was, fastest?" you questioned as it wasn't mentioned on the card

"We were rapid to be fair"

~

12:45 PM

The cupcakes had come out the oven perfectly, you jumped up and down in happiness

"AB please come to the diary room" the voice from above spoke and he swiftly moved to the room down the hallway whilst you moved to sit on the sofa

"The smell is making me hella hungry" you admitted to no one in particular hearing your stomach rumble

"AB how did you find the challenge?" the voice asked and AB sighed

"Gyal got a bit touchy, not that I minded she's an absolute rocket" he confessed holding his hands up jokingly

"Where do you think you've placed?"

"Easy number one" Alfie admitted "reader was great at directing i was great at listening for once, we had great teamwork"

~

1:20 PM

The two of you had to wait presumably for the other teams to finish their baking, you passed time by talking about your lives outside of social media

"What would you say is your favourite thing?" you asked looking at the man sat next to you lounging on the sofa "like ever"

"Uh" he thought about it for a minute "probably my house down in the woods, called the grotto, i love it" he smiled at you "white monster is very close second though"

"That makes sense" you told him truthfully "you seem like a wilderness guy"

"Got a gaff in London too, don't rate it as much though" he explained before asking his question "if you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?"

"I like Australia, I've always wanted to go" you answer quickly "its always hot and has sunny beaches"

"That's not a bad shout" Alfie responded before he was cut off by the voice

"Players, the results have been decided" you and Alfie both perked up "in last place with 1 point is Arthur tv and Danny Aarons" you and Alfie looked at each other with hope "in first place with 3 points is AB and reader, AB and reader combined with readers successful challenge earlier you have 4 points total"

"Oh my gosh" you exclaimed moving off the sofa to jump in celebration

"Lets fucking go"

~

3:25 PM

"I'm so hungry" you told Alfie as you leaned on the kitchen counter

"Yeah when are they actually giving us food" he took a sip from his water bottle "it must be like illegal not to right"

"Surely" you agreed "had to hand in our winning cupcakes" you laughed

~

4:05 PM

"AB and reader please open your front door" the voice told you and you quickly moved racing Alfie to the door

Obviously he reached it first the handle almost flying off the door as he pulled the door open

"Food" you exclaimed happily as AB brought a variety of foods forwards "this will last us ages" it was just the basics, nothing fancy or particularly exciting, you were just super hungry

"Could be a worse selection i guess" he deadpanned the camera "don't know how i'll survive without a monster"

~

7:55 PM

Later you and AB had both made seperate meals but ate together at the kitchen island

"I'm excited for the rest of the challenges" you told him whilst blowing on your tomato soup looking at him a few feet away

"They're gonna throw in some twists, gotta keep it entertaining" Alfie responded

"Yeah I agree" you started "we should have a team name"

"You think?" Alfie questioned with a laugh watching you take small spoonful's of your soup

"We could make a team banner and everything" your eyes glistened with the possibilities whilst AB just laughed with you "im serious, this flat is so boring, we need decorations especially if were here for a full week"

"I get you, it is a bit bleak in here" he looked to the plain walls around you trying to imagine some nice prints or paintings

~

8:30 PM

"Voice" you greeted in the diary room trying to squeeze onto the small chair with Alfie

"Is that what were calling her, voice?" he asked with a giggle

"What else would you call her?" you retorted "anyways, we would like to request lots of paper, pens, paint and a banner"

"A whole trees worth pretty please" Alfie added staring into the camera "this is the only thing we will ask for"

"Ever" you promised with uncertainty holding your pinkie out to the screen

"Your request will arrive tomorrow" the familiar robotic voice answered making you light up in excitement as you looked up towards the speaker

"This is gonna be so good" you promised Alfie finally looking back at him and watching him mog the camera "trust me"

"I'm trusting" AB moved to fix his hair in the reflection of the camera lens

~

9:00 PM

"Who are the other teams again?" you asked Alfie, you two back in the living room again, you were trying to prolong going to bed as the thought of the two of you sharing made you super nervous

"Bach and Beano" he tried to recall from what the voice said earlier in the day "tv and Danny Aarons"

"I think Arthur and Danny are the biggest threat to us" you confessed "they're probably being super serious about the competition, well Arthur anyway"

The video flashed back to the previous challenge and the absolute carnage caused by the two youtubers, screaming, shouting and the mess they ended up having to clean

"I'm the only girl" you realised "so we have to win or the sidemen hate women" you smirked into the camera making Alfie laugh

Due to the late time you had both changed into your night clothes, you had your cute satin pyjamas whilst Alfie was just in a white tank top and grey joggers, a deadly combo

"FYI I can only sleep shirtless" he confessed when your conversation flattened out making you raise your eyebrows

"Right okay" you responded "fuck I forgot there is only one bed" you looked up at him

"I can sleep here" he patted the sofa making you instantly wince, it wasn't the comfiest thing ever, his back would be ruined in the morning

"That's actual cruelty, we can just stay on opposite sides of the bed" you told him, not wanting to cause him any unnecessary pain

~

9:45 PM

"Why the flip have you only got one bed" you looked into the camera "I hope every team is getting this treatment"

"Every team is getting the same treatment" the robotic voice confirmed for you

The video moved from you to AB in the diary room

"Nah, this is bout to be bare awkward, known reader for what 10-12 hours and shes gonna see me with my mouth tape, games gone"

"You sure you don't want me on the sofa?" Alfie asked for what seemed like the thousandth time not wanting to make you uncomfortable, his shirt was long discarded but you weren't complaining

"I'm 100% sure" you confirmed moving onto the large bed "its big enough for 3 people anyway and we can do the barrier method" you giggled at your own suggestion grabbing two spare pillows and placing it in between you two

"Cant even hit a doom scroll" AB spoke the sadness apparent in his voice as he laid next to you in the bed "way too early for sleep"

"We can play a game" you suggested sitting up to look at him over the pillow "I brought monopoly in my case"

"As long as I can be the dog" he sat up, his hair at the back flattening down due to the pillow

~

11:45 PM

You were struggling to keep your eyes open as you moved his piece around the edge of the board, you were almost 2 hours in and neither of you were close to winning or losing

"Ha you owe me 150" Alfie told you leaning back on his elbows on the wooden floor, accentuating his arm muscles in the best way which your eyes immediately drifted to

"Ugh" you groaned leaning over to pass him the monopoly paper, a yawn leaving your mouth

"You tired?" his voice softened as he asked the question

"A bit" you responded passing him the dice fighting off another yawn

"We can go bed if you want?" his accent came through a bit more making you laugh and nod

User1: justice for Beano and Bach

ABvloggin: that guy with the blindfold mogs everyone -> ArthurFrederick: thanks man

User2: reader is so cringe -> User3: faceless profile shut up

User4: can't wait for next sunday!

DannyAarons: never thought making cupcakes was so hard

User5: reader and AB are so wholesome

[pptythe3rd]

ugh we get it ur a leng ting🙄

same story different day honestly

[lucywritesx]

you always pick up

ex!bf alfie x reader

warnings: toxic relationship, jealousy, swearing, arguments, cheating, angst?, explicit smut (MDNI), slight degradation, slapping, power play

a/n: hello???? i’m alive. after being mia for over a month i thought the only correct way to come back was to give you guys something you voted for and have always loved. thanks for the love, hope you enjoy x

you never really stopped talking to alfie. that was the problem.

and not in a normal way. not like, “we broke up but check on each other occasionally.”

more like… you stopped seeing each other properly, but everything else carried on.

the messages never really died, they just changed shape.

at first they were angry and irrational messages. then random “you up?” messages in the middle of the night like nothing happened between you two that was worth remembering.

and somehow, you always replied. you told yourself you had rules.

you told yourself you were done.

you told yourself a lot of things.

none of them stuck.

i mean you also said you wouldn’t sleep with him ever again, yet every once in a while he was rocking your fucking world. he always did.

because alfie didn’t care enough to act like someone who was gone.

he acted like he knew no matter what, you’ll always come back.

and the worst part?

he was right.

there were plenty of moments where you properly tried cutting him off. you blocked him once. unblocked him two days later. told yourself it was “just to check something.”

there was nothing to check.

you knew that.

he knew that too.

he just didn’t say it. instead.. he just showed up in pieces.

a text at 1:48 am saying something pointless like “you awake girl?”

a reply to your story that didn’t need replying to.

a voice note you definitely shouldn’t have listened to.

and then, there was brad.

brad was.. easy.

he liked you in a way that didn’t feel like a game. he asked questions and actually listened to the answers.

he didn’t disappear for days just to come back like nothing had happened.

he didn’t make you feel like you were constantly waiting for the next version of him.

he was good for you, which was probably why it didn’t feel right.

you didn’t tell him about alfie, not properly.

not the texts, and the late night calls you sometimes answered just to hear alfie breath on the other end.

because how do you say that out loud?

how do you explain someone’s who’s not your boyfriend, not your ex anymore either, but still somehow takes up all the fuckass space in between.

so you didn’t. you just kept trying to be normal.

and it almost worked, until it didn’t.

because alfie didn’t like distance. not really.

he liked control.

and you’d spent long enough in his little orbit to know what he looked like when he started getting impatient.

friday night came, and by the time the club idea popped up, it was already too late.

brad was the one who suggested it.

“you’ve been stressed,” he said. “we should go out. just have a proper night.”

“not really my thing.”

“come on,” he smiled. “one night.”

one night.

just one night where nothing complicated would happen.

just one night where you wouldn’t think about alfie.

you should’ve known better than to think you could control that.

you almost changed your mind three times before leaving the house.

the first time was when brad texted you saying he was outside.

the second was when you looked at yourself in the mirror and thought about how stupid it was that you were putting effort into a night you weren’t even excited for.

the third was when your phone lit up.

alfie.

your stomach curled and stretched in a way only he could make you feel.

where are you tonight?

you stared. because there was no reason for him to know, and no reason for him to ask.

you locked your phone without replying, for once.

actually for once, you were going to leave it.

“you ready?”

brad’s voice came sweet from the kitchen.

“yeah,” you said, grabbing your back and giving him a soft smile. “let’s go.”

the club was already packed when you arrived.

brad held your hand as you walked in. not possessively. just calm.

and you hated how much you noticed the difference.

because alfie never held your hand like that. his version of affection was completely different. it was a rough hand on your waist squeezing your hips, when someone got too close.

“drink?” brad asked.

you nodded. “yeah, please.”

he smiled. “gin and tonic?”

“you remember?”

he laughed. “you say that like i shouldn’t.”

as brad made his way to get you your drinks, your eyes wandered a bit.

you didn’t spot alfie straight away.

then you felt it. that feeling.

that horrible, familiar feeling of being watched.

you turned your head and there he was, across the room.

surrounded by his friends, drink in hand, looking completely comfortable.

and then his eyes met yours, and his mouth lifted slightly.

not a smile, but worse. a knowing little expression. like he just caught you doing something you shouldn’t.

you looked away first.

“who was that?”

brad’s voice made you jump.

“what?”

“the lad you were just looking at.”

your stomach dropped.

“no one.”

brad looked over your shoulders, then back at you.

“right.”

“what does that mean?”

“nothing.”

“brad..”

he sighed. “i’m not stupid, reader.”

you softened slightly.

“i didn’t say you-”

“no, but you’re acting like i’m fucking blind and i don’t notice stuff.”

you looked down at your drink because, what were you supposed to say?

yeah, that’s alfie. he’s my ex but we still text occasionally and fuck on the weekends.. maybe on mondays as well.

you couldn’t exactly say that, so you said the only thing you could.

“he’s just someone i used to know.”

and somewhere across the room, alfie watched you say it.

a few minutes later, you felt him before you saw him.

“you’re really gonna pretend you don’t know me?”

you froze. brad looked confused.

ande alfie just stood there with his hands in his pockets, looking completely relaxed.

“alfie.”

he smiled, like the cocky bastard he is.

“reader.”

“i.. didn’t know you’d be here.”

“yeah, you did.”

alfie looked at brad then, and smiled politely.

“hi mate.”

brad nodded slowly.

“hi.”

there was a pause, and then alfie held out his hand.

“i’m alfie.”

brad didn’t take his hand. he just nodded.

“brad.”

“nice to meet you. i’m reader’s ex.

brad scoffed.

“huh, i knew it. that’s why you’ve been looking at him since we’ve stepped foot in here.”

“brad i-”

“nah man, fuck that.” he said, as he stormed out of the club.

you turned to alfie, who looked completely unbothered.

“you couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

alfie looked at you.

“what?”

“you had to do that.”

his eyebrows lifted slightly.

“do what?”

you laughed once, but there was no humor in it.

“don’t act stupid. you know exactly what you did.”

“introduced myself?”

“you know that’s not what i mean.”

“no actually, i don’t.”

“you don’t care.. do you?”

the question came out quieter than you intended.

for the first time, his expression shifted.

“about what?”

“about anything.”

alfie stepped closer.

“come on baby, we both know i care.”

your breath hitched, as he touched your jaw with his fingertips.

“wanna show you how much i missed you? huh? is that what you want?”

your words were stuck in your throat and you couldn’t form a reply, but you managed to throw out a few words.

“no, you’re a fucking hypocrite!”

alfie’s eyes turned colder.

“careful girl, keep runnin’ your little pretty mouth like that and it’ll turn dark.”

“shut up”

“.. right.”

with a harsh grip on your arm he dragged you to the side where you couldn’t be visible.

“right, here’s what’s gonna happen. either you calm the fuck down and admit you still want me mad, or stay on your own and mop like a little girl.”

you watched him like a hawk. you craved his touch now, more than anything.

you grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to the women’s toilets, quickly shoving the both of you into a stall.

your hands grabbed his neck as you smashed your lips onto his, kissing him hungrily.

his hand dropped low, and latched onto your ass, who was covered but the tiny black dress you were wearing. he gave it a hard squeeze that you were sure would leave marks for tomorrow.

as you sloppily kissed, his tongue slipped into yours and you had the most nasty make out of your life.

his hand dipped lower, until he got under your dress skirt, and touched your heat over your panties.

“fuuuck, it’s like the niagara falls down here baby.”

you laughed slowly, as he pushed your panties to the side, circling your clit as you continued to make out.

you moaned into his mouth, your hips grinding on his hand absentmindedly.

“yeah you little slut, come on. make yourself feel good.”

“alfie..”

“hm? what? tell me what you need babe.”

your head dropped back as he sucked on your neck, and his hand was circling your swollen bud.

you couldn’t reply.

he pushed a finger in, stretching you out. you never got used to how big he was, and holy fuck.. he was big.

“want another one?”

“y-yeah.”

he chuckled as he gave you no preparation and shoved three fingers in, making you let out a little scream, earning you a slap across the face from him.

“what’re you doin’? wanna get caught, you little freak? shut up, and take it.”

your legs were wrapped on his torso as he finger fucked you like he hated you.

you felt that familiar knot in your stomach.

“alfie im.. oh my god.”

he didn’t stop relentlessly fucking his fingers into you until you came all over his thick hand.

“get on your knees, now.”

you didn’t waste a second in doing so, even lowering your dress from the top so your tits were falling out.

he unzipped his pants, and you felt him through his boxers. rock hard.

you pulled his boxers down, as he ordered you again.

“open.”

you opened your mouth and he didn’t even let you have the pace you wanted. he grabbed your hair in a ponytail and proceeded to face fuck you.

first, it was slow to get him knowing, next thing you know, he was holding you steady as he roughly shoved his hips into your throat, making you gag and start crying, your mascara falling on your cheeks.

“oh fuck, you look so pretty right now.”

you gave him a light tap on the hips, as if to let him know you can’t take it anymore which he payed zero attention to.

“shh, take my cock angel. i know you can.”

you nodded through tears as you felt him get close and spilling his thick liquid down your throat.

“tsk tsk, swallow. now.”

as you did he then picked you up, wrapping your legs onto his torso again, and he pressed you up against the wall.

he used one hand to play with your nipples, and the other to position himself at your entrance before pushing himself into you without warning.

he rammed his hips into you so hard that you were sure your hips would be bruised from the friction.

you moaned at the pleasure and the pain mixture, as he slapped you clean across the face and he felt you turn on even more.

“you like it don’t you? who’s making you feel like this huh? say it.”

“ah, fuck- you! you!”

“what’s my name baby, say my name.”

“oh dear god- alfie!”

“yeah, that’s right. does your little boyfriend fuck you like this?”

when you don’t reply his thrust slow down and they become slow but really hard and deep. he pulls out and then he harshly pushes himself back in.

“huh? what was that?”

“alfie, i can’t- fuck,”

“you’re so fucked out.” he chuckles. “are you close angel?”

“fuck yes! i’m close, im so close.”

he pulls a hand down and begins touching your clit, stimulating it as he’s fucking you into oblivion.

without even stop fucking you for longer than a second he the you around so your ass is in his sight. he begins slapping you, one, two, three times.

“who do you belong to?”

no reply. he slaps your ass hard again.

“i said, who do you belong to?”

“you!”

“that’s right baby. come on, let go for me.”

you come so hard, that your legs are shaking and you feel like you won’t be able to walk for days.

“open your mouth.”

you tip your head back an open your mouth, as alfie spits into it and you swallow.

he gets dressed and proceeds to leave the toilets as he turns around one last time.

“get dressed girl. i’ll go order us some nando’s in the car.” he says before giving you a kiss and walking out.

god, you just can’t stay away from each other.

[oliviaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

i love arms i love biceps i love forearms i love veins i love hands i love i love i love

[lilicefernanda]

Yes

[buttlesbunnie]

SHOW HIM ── a.buttle ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

summary: unsolicited dick pics and sexual messages from a stranger lead to you and alfie crossing the line of friendship

content: bestfriend!alfie , swearing , smut , 18+ mdni , unsolicited dick pic , handjob , p in v , cowgirl , recording of sexual acts , sending of provocative images

notes: this is for my best friend who requested this on call 😭😭😭 love u my girl xx

wc: 2,422

FOR AS LONG as you could remember, Alfie had been a part of your life. He’d always been there, ready to catch you when you fell and offer a helping hand to get you back up. He was your best friend, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

When he’d moved to London, he’d suggested that you come with him, but you both ended up mutually agreeing that living together crossed a line further than platonic friendship, especially considering his apartment was only one bedroom.

It was slightly weird not having him at your fingertips anymore, but it only made the reunions all the more special.

Like right now.

The heat was swelteringly hot up north, a type of heat you’d never experienced before apart from when you were abroad, and you were suffering intensely. However, Alfie was spending the weekend back home, and you had to take advantage of the fact.

What better way to do that than lounging around in his house saying nothing but lazy sentences and humming responses as the energy drained from you with every sweat droplet.

You’d picked out the tiniest bikini possible, not to draw attention or beg for Alfie’s wandering gaze to find you, but for some sweat relief from any heat that would’ve clung to you from extra fabric.

Alfie was in some black swimming trunks, mindlessly scrolling through TikTok while you went through Instagram dm’s, picking and choosing who was worthy of a response.

There was a guy amongst your messages, one you’d been texting fleetingly here and there, never really committed to the bit considering he liked to get a little too sexual too quickly. Whenever it got like that, you ended up ending the conversation and shutting off your phone rather than entertaining his hormonal needs.

You huffed at the sight of a notification from him, rolling your eyes at the erotic nature of his message.

“Y’alright?” Alfie asked, turning to you.

“This guy is so strange.” You grumbled, turning your phone towards him and showing him the message.

Your best friend turned his nose up, snorting, “What a fuckin’ weirdo.”

“Right?” You gasped, “It’s alllllways the same type of thing too.”

Your phone buzzed with a second notification.

“Sent you a pic.” Alfie nodded.

You cringed at the thought, turning your phone back to yourself and suckling the inside of your cheek before clicking on the image.

“Oh my fucking God!” You shouted, throwing your phone towards Alfie.

This wasn’t the first time you’d received an unsolicited dick pic, but it also wasn’t the first time you’d turned your nose up at it and wanted to delete all of your socials because of it.

Some men really had the audacity to believe that every woman on the planet wanted to see their piece and slobber all over it. It made you feel ill, and if you could’ve slapped him through the screen, you would’ve.

“That’s fuckin’ gross.” Alfie grimaced, “Are you alright?”

“Actually makes me feel sick.”

He pursed his lips, eyes fluttering from your phone screen and back to your face that was screwed up in disgust.

The cogs were turning in his brain, working overtime to try and provide a solution for the problem at hand.

When it came to him, he had to rethink it over and over to make sure it was the right thing to say, and that you wouldn’t be even more perturbed by it.

“Why don’t you send him a pic of mine?”

You blinked at him, the disgust falling away from your face and making room for shock, “What?”

Alfie shrugged, “I dunno, like, it would put him off, right? Maybe he’ll think you’re taken.”

“I mean, probably.” You hummed, “But that’s silly, you don’t have to.”

“If it means he’ll leave you alone I’ll do it.”

The corners of your lips twitched upwards and you nodded.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Or I can send a print pic. Maybe that’s a bit more casual too.”

You nodded, “Whatever you’re comfortable doing.”

“Cool.” He gestured for your phone.

You handed it to him, and he situated it in his right hand so that none of his tattoos were on show and he was unidentifiable.

You couldn’t help the way your heart hammered in your chest as he slid his hand into his swimming trunks, biting his lower lip as his fingers wrapped around himself blindly, pumping a few times until he was semi-hard and visibly showing through the trunks.

You should’ve looked away and given him private decency, but you couldn’t. Your eyes were glued to the bulge showing through the fabric and if he was comfortable enough going this far in front of you, surely he wouldn’t have minded if you watched for a little.

He seemed to smirk as he looked over the image, deeming it good enough. His thumb hovered over the screen before clicking the download image and sending it to the guy.

Had he just saved the photo to your camera roll?

You weren’t too sure, and it’s not like you could’ve had a look, because he was still holding your phone, staring at the DM’s between you and this guy and waiting for a response.

You ended up shuffling closer, now sitting arm-to-arm with him and peering over his shoulder at your phone.

The typing bubble appeared for a second before disappearing and coming back, sending a quick message.

‘Nice pinterest photo☠️’

Followed by:

‘You gonna send ur tits or not? x’

“What a fuckin’ dickhead.” Alfie sneered.

“Does he want me to wank you off on video or what? Like, how is that a pinterest photo?”

What you’d originally proposed was a joke, ended up with a shared look between the two of you, followed by knowing smirks and before you knew it, his cock was in your hand, your palm moving back and forth against it.

He was proportionately large, but it had still taken you by a slight surprise when he’d gotten it out for the first time. He was pretty too, something you were slightly shocked by. It wasn’t every day that you were thinking that a man had a pretty cock.

It was astounding to think that you’d never once thought about Alfie in this type of way, because the way he was sitting back on his couch right now, abs contracting with harsh pants while he angled the camera perfectly had you leaking pathetically.

“Fuck, don’t stop.” He grunted, hips bucking up lightly.

You continued your movements, twisting at the base.

“Is that enough video?” You whispered.

He nodded, stopping the recording and sending it with a ‘View Once’ limit.

Just as you moved to stop and pull your hand away, Alfie’s fingers wrapped around your wrist, keeping it in place near his thigh and willing you to continue.

“Alfie …”

“Jesus, shit.” He moaned at the sinful whisper of his name on your lips.

This was supposed to be for the purpose of a video only, to get back at a disgusting man who didn’t quite know how to get the hint, but it seemed like Alfie now didn’t want you to stop, and if you were going to be completely honest, you didn’t want to either.

Tentatively, you lowered your head, darting your tongue out to swipe across his tip, collecting the bead of precum that had formed and licking it away.

“Holy fuck, Reader.” Alfie gasped out, his free hand finding the back of your head, scrunching your hair into a fist.

It wasn’t long before he was cumming along the seam of your lips, coating them in his salty release until you licked it back and swallowed it down.

His chest was rising and falling rapidly as you sat up, gulping audibly as you came to about what you’d just done to your best friend.

Your phone had been abandoned to the side as Alfie dragged you closer, swinging one of your legs to the other side of his hips and pressing your lips together.

The pair of you were quick to find a rhythmic motion of stroking tongues and rolling hips.

“You wet?” Alfie panted against your mouth, grabbing at the fat of your hip and digging his nails into it.

You nodded wordlessly, scratching at the base of his scalp, chasing his mouth with your own.

“I don’t wanna stop.” You whimpered.

The fan behind you was providing you with the slightest of relief as your bodies warmed even more so from closeness and friction.

“Wait, wait.” Alfie murmured, sliding his hand between your legs and hooking his fingers into the gusset of your bikini bottoms.

He tugged them to the side, baring your cunt to his hungry gaze and he cursed lowly at the sight of you wet and needy all for him.

“Fuckin’ gorgeous.” He groaned, sliding his fingers between your folds, parting them and then finding your clit, stimulating it in firm circles.

“God, Alf.” You gasped, letting your head drop forwards, forehead resting on his shoulder.

The empty pit in your stomach formed, twisting and turning as you grinded down against his hand.

“Here.” He croaked, voice strained and gravelly, clouded with arousal that was beginning to fog up his brain.

He held the base of his dick, guiding the tip of it through your folds before dragging it back down to your entrancing, breaching it and then allowing you to sink yourself down on it the rest of the way.

The pair of you moaned simultaneously at the overwhelming pleasure you were both feeling.

You could’ve sworn your vision was going bleary from the tears of unadulterated euphoria swarming in your mind and causing you to move on instinct.

You started with an experimental roll of your hips forwards, and once you’d found a decent amount of comfort in that, you proceeded, repeating the motion over and over while Alfie’s harsh breaths hit the side of your neck.

He dove into it, smothering himself in your skin and busying himself at it, licking, biting, kissing, sucking, and anything else that came to mind in that moment.

Your phone buzzed to the side, and you were half expecting it to go ignored, but Alfie couldn’t fight the intrigue within him as he picked it up and viewed the screen.

Again, this pathetic, horny leech of a man just couldn’t seem to be convinced.

‘Cool twitter vid🤣’

‘Wish that was me and u tho x’

“This fuckin’ dickhead.” Alfie grumbled, clicking onto the camera again and beginning to film.

He kept it aimed at the lewd sight of your pussy sucking him in while rising and falling along his length.

“My fuckin’ angel, ‘ent ya, Reader?” He smirked, his thumb finding your clit and beginning to flick over it.

A high-pitched moan was caught through the phone as you rested your hands back on Alfie’s ankles, giving the camera a better, less filtered view of the lewd sight between your legs.

“Alfie.” You gulped through a whine, rotating your hips and rutting like a desperate mutt.

His desperate mutt.

“Yeah, keep goin’, darlin’. Just like that.” He grinned, moving his hand to your hip again, helping you keep a steady flow and stop you from getting lost amongst it all, “Show him you’re too busy for his pathetic ass.”

Once again, when he stopped the recording, he made sure to save it to your camera roll and double check it was on ‘View Once’ before sending it off and abandoning your phone to the side once more.

“C’mere.” Alfie beckoned you closer, wrapping his arms around your midsection and holding you tight.

“I’m gonna cum, Alf.” You moaned down his ear, sucking the lobe of it before lathering his cheek in wet, sloppy kisses, rounding his face and finding his lips again.

The vibrations from his groan reverberated off of your lips as he sunk his teeth into the lower one, dragging back before shoving his tongue into your mouth, allowing it to dance against yours.

Your stomach fizzled with a spark of intense heat, tightening into the tautest knot you’d ever felt. It had your toes curling and whimpers flowing free from your lips.

“Oh God!” You whined, pulling away and burying your face in his neck as you came around his cock, clenching hard and spasming.

His lips pursed, pressing firmly into each other as he grunted through his own orgasm, fingers gripping you tightly and forcing you to keep him fully sheathed within you.

Your thighs trembled violently as you collapsed against him, your bodies sinking into one exhausted heap of loose limbs and sweat slicked-skin.

Once your breathing had levelled out and you were both in a state sane enough to speak, you glanced up at him through tired eyes.

The smile you gave him was half-arsed and dazed, but appreciative nonetheless.

“That was amazing.” You whispered.

“Yeah?” He smirked, looking down at you, “You were the amazing one.”

You scoffed, shaking your head, “It was a team effort.”

He laughed breathily, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.

“Hopefully that fucker’s left you alone now.”

You hummed in surprise as you suddenly remembered him.

You couldn’t fault yourself or Alfie for you getting lost in the mesmerisation of post-sex haze. Besides, you’d much rather be replaying those moments in your head than the memory of that man’s cringy attempts at sexting.

Upon opening your DM’s, you saw grey letters reading ‘seen’ under the video Alfie had sent on your behalf.

“I reckon he got the message.” You nodded.

“I mean, if he didn’t, I wouldn’t mind sending him another one.” Alfie grinned, burying his face in your neck and beginning to kiss at it.

You shrieked in laughter as you fell onto your back with him on top of you, your arms slung over his shoulders.

“Alfie!” You giggled.

“Seriously.” He hummed, pulling back so that he was hovering over you perfectly, “You were … amazing.”

“So were you.” You replied sincerely.

You continued to just lay there, his head finding its way to your chest as you both resumed occupying yourselves on your phones.

Despite the summer warmth that was still licking at the both of your skins, you didn’t once peel away from each other or complain.

It felt nice to be this close to someone without feeling agitated by their presence for once. Not that you ever could be agitated by Alfie’s presence.

He was your best friend, forever and always.

[cryloma]

heat exhaustion ©cryloma

authors note: been really inactive and this might be my last post until i have motivation as my cat has passed :( still feel free to send requests or whatever, i will get round them soon x

warnings: heat wave, dramatics ( not really, it’s understandable ), sweaty kissing ─ ꫂ᭪݁˚꩜⋆₊ alfie buttle

you always said you’d preferred summer over winter. but not this.

it was currently 35 degrees and you were melting.

you were lay on your bed in a starfish position, the quilt was chucked and abandoned on the floor and your fan was aiming directly at you. it was blowing hot air.

alfie had tried to enter your bedroom and bother you, but you had kicked him out three times. even if you did really love him, the heat made you agitated.

alfie, fed up of no company, came back in, “it’s my bedroom too, girl”, he smirked as he got comfy next to you.

you loudly groaned and cocked your head to the side, “you’re giving me your body heat, alf!”, you whined and pushed his arm of you.

“chill it with the dramatics, darlin’,”, he scoffed with a playful smile.

you rolled your eyes and he leaned down and connected your lips. you audibly gasped and pressed your hands on his sweaty shoulders to push him away.

he smiled and slipped his tongue in, knowing it was going to wind you up even more. you pulled away, strings of saliva conjoining your lips together.

“no!”.

“what’d you mean no?”, he frowned.

“i mean no, it’s too hot for that”, you grimaced and shook your head.

“you don’t want me anymore?”.

“you’re such a child, alf. and don’t act like you aren’t hot, i see the sweat dripping of you, i can smell it as well”, you smiled to yourself.

he swatted your arm and pressed a kiss on your forehead, “love you too, angel”