warnings: toxic relationship, jealousy, swearing, arguments, cheating, angst?, explicit smut (MDNI), slight degradation, slapping, power play
a/n: hello???? i’m alive. after being mia for over a month i thought the only correct way to come back was to give you guys something you voted for and have always loved. thanks for the love, hope you enjoy x
you never really stopped talking to alfie. that was the problem.
and not in a normal way. not like, “we broke up but check on each other occasionally.”
more like… you stopped seeing each other properly, but everything else carried on.
the messages never really died, they just changed shape.
at first they were angry and irrational messages. then random “you up?” messages in the middle of the night like nothing happened between you two that was worth remembering.
and somehow, you always replied. you told yourself you had rules.
you told yourself you were done.
you told yourself a lot of things.
i mean you also said you wouldn’t sleep with him ever again, yet every once in a while he was rocking your fucking world. he always did.
because alfie didn’t care enough to act like someone who was gone.
he acted like he knew no matter what, you’ll always come back.
there were plenty of moments where you properly tried cutting him off. you blocked him once. unblocked him two days later. told yourself it was “just to check something.”
there was nothing to check.
he just didn’t say it. instead.. he just showed up in pieces.
a text at 1:48 am saying something pointless like “you awake girl?”
a reply to your story that didn’t need replying to.
a voice note you definitely shouldn’t have listened to.
and then, there was brad.
he liked you in a way that didn’t feel like a game. he asked questions and actually listened to the answers.
he didn’t disappear for days just to come back like nothing had happened.
he didn’t make you feel like you were constantly waiting for the next version of him.
he was good for you, which was probably why it didn’t feel right.
you didn’t tell him about alfie, not properly.
not the texts, and the late night calls you sometimes answered just to hear alfie breath on the other end.
because how do you say that out loud?
how do you explain someone’s who’s not your boyfriend, not your ex anymore either, but still somehow takes up all the fuckass space in between.
so you didn’t. you just kept trying to be normal.
and it almost worked, until it didn’t.
because alfie didn’t like distance. not really.
and you’d spent long enough in his little orbit to know what he looked like when he started getting impatient.
friday night came, and by the time the club idea popped up, it was already too late.
brad was the one who suggested it.
“you’ve been stressed,” he said. “we should go out. just have a proper night.”
“come on,” he smiled. “one night.”
just one night where nothing complicated would happen.
just one night where you wouldn’t think about alfie.
you should’ve known better than to think you could control that.
you almost changed your mind three times before leaving the house.
the first time was when brad texted you saying he was outside.
the second was when you looked at yourself in the mirror and thought about how stupid it was that you were putting effort into a night you weren’t even excited for.
the third was when your phone lit up.
your stomach curled and stretched in a way only he could make you feel.
you stared. because there was no reason for him to know, and no reason for him to ask.
you locked your phone without replying, for once.
actually for once, you were going to leave it.
brad’s voice came sweet from the kitchen.
“yeah,” you said, grabbing your back and giving him a soft smile. “let’s go.”
the club was already packed when you arrived.
brad held your hand as you walked in. not possessively. just calm.
and you hated how much you noticed the difference.
because alfie never held your hand like that. his version of affection was completely different. it was a rough hand on your waist squeezing your hips, when someone got too close.
you nodded. “yeah, please.”
he smiled. “gin and tonic?”
he laughed. “you say that like i shouldn’t.”
as brad made his way to get you your drinks, your eyes wandered a bit.
you didn’t spot alfie straight away.
then you felt it. that feeling.
that horrible, familiar feeling of being watched.
you turned your head and there he was, across the room.
surrounded by his friends, drink in hand, looking completely comfortable.
and then his eyes met yours, and his mouth lifted slightly.
not a smile, but worse. a knowing little expression. like he just caught you doing something you shouldn’t.
brad’s voice made you jump.
“the lad you were just looking at.”
brad looked over your shoulders, then back at you.
he sighed. “i’m not stupid, reader.”
“no, but you’re acting like i’m fucking blind and i don’t notice stuff.”
you looked down at your drink because, what were you supposed to say?
yeah, that’s alfie. he’s my ex but we still text occasionally and fuck on the weekends.. maybe on mondays as well.
you couldn’t exactly say that, so you said the only thing you could.
“he’s just someone i used to know.”
and somewhere across the room, alfie watched you say it.
a few minutes later, you felt him before you saw him.
“you’re really gonna pretend like you don’t know me?”
you froze. brad looked confused.
ande alfie just stood there with his hands in his pockets, looking completely relaxed.
he smiled, like the cocky bastard he is.
“i.. didn’t know you’d be here.”
alfie looked at brad then, and smiled politely.
there was a pause, and then alfie held out his hand.
brad didn’t take his hand. he just nodded.
“nice to meet you. i’m reader’s ex.
“huh, i knew it. that’s why you’ve been looking at him since we’ve stepped foot in here.”
“nah man, fuck that.” he said, as he stormed out of the club.
you turned to alfie, who looked completely unbothered.
“you couldn’t help yourself, could you?”
his eyebrows lifted slightly.
you laughed once, but there was no humor in it.
“don’t act stupid. you know exactly what you did.”
“you know that’s not what i mean.”
“you don’t care.. do you?”
the question came out quieter than you intended.
for the first time, his expression shifted.
“come on baby, we both know i care.”
your breath hitched, as he touched your jaw with his fingertips.
“wanna show you how much i missed you? huh? is that what you want?”
your words were stuck in your throat and you couldn’t form a reply, but you managed to throw out a few words.
“no, you’re a fucking hypocrite!”
alfie’s eyes turned colder.
“careful girl, keep runnin’ your little pretty mouth like that and it’ll turn dark.”
with a harsh grip on your arm he dragged you to the side where you couldn’t be visible.
“right, here’s what’s gonna happen. either you calm the fuck down and admit you still want me mad, or stay on your own and mop like a little girl.”
you watched him like a hawk. you craved his touch now, more than anything.
you grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to the women’s toilets, quickly shoving the both of you into a stall.
your hands grabbed his neck as you smashed your lips onto his, kissing him hungrily.
his hand dropped low, and latched onto your ass, who was covered but the tiny black dress you were wearing. he gave it a hard squeeze that you were sure would leave marks for tomorrow.
as you sloppily kissed, his tongue slipped into yours and you had the most nasty make out of your life.
his hand dipped lower, until he got under your dress skirt, and touched your heat over your panties.
“fuuuck, it’s like the niagara falls down here baby.”
you laughed slowly, as he pushed your panties to the side, circling your clit as you continued to make out.
you moaned into his mouth, your hips grinding on his hand absentmindedly.
“yeah you little slut, come on. make yourself feel good.”
“hm? what? tell me what you need babe.”
your head dropped back as he sucked on your neck, and his hand was circling your swollen bud.
he pushed a finger in, stretching you out. you never got used to how big he was, and holy fuck.. he was big.
he chuckled as he gave you no preparation and shoved three fingers in, making you let out a little scream, earning you a slap across the face from him.
“what’re you doin’? wanna get caught, you little freak? shut up, and take it.”
your legs were wrapped on his torso as he finger fucked you like he hated you.
you felt that familiar knot in your stomach.
he didn’t stop relentlessly fucking his fingers into you until you came all over his thick hand.
“get on your knees, now.”
you didn’t waste a second in doing so, even lowering your dress from the top so your tits were falling out.
he unzipped his pants, and you felt him through his boxers. rock hard.
you pulled his boxers down, as he ordered you again.
you opened your mouth and he didn’t even let you have the pace you wanted. he grabbed your hair in a ponytail and proceeded to face fuck you.
first, it was slow to get him knowing, next thing you know, he was holding you steady as he roughly shoved his hips into your throat, making you gag and start crying, your mascara falling on your cheeks.
“oh fuck, you look so pretty right now.”
you gave him a light tap on the hips, as if to let him know you can’t take it anymore which he payed zero attention to.
“shh, take my cock angel. i know you can.”
you nodded through tears as you felt him get close and spilling his thick liquid down your throat.
as you did he then picked you up, wrapping your legs onto his torso again, and he pressed you up against the wall.
he used one hand to play with your nipples, and the other to position himself at your entrance before pushing himself into you without warning.
he rammed his hips into you so hard that you were sure your hips would be bruised from the friction.
you moaned at the pleasure and the pain mixture, as he slapped you clean across the face and he felt you turn on even more.
“you like it don’t you? who’s making you feel like this huh? say it.”
“what’s my name baby, say my name.”
“yeah, that’s right. does your little boyfriend fuck you like this?”
when you don’t reply his thrust slow down and they become slow but really hard and deep. he pulls out and then he harshly pushes himself back in.
“you’re so fucked out.” he chuckles. “are you close angel?”
“fuck yes! i’m close, im so close.”
he pulls a hand down and begins touching your clit, stimulating it as he’s fucking you into oblivion.
without even stop fucking you for longer than a second he the you around so your ass is in his sight. he begins slapping you, one, two, three times.
no reply. he slaps your ass hard again.
“i said, who do you belong to?”
“that’s right baby. come on, let go for me.”
you come so hard, that your legs are shaking and you feel like you won’t be able to walk for days.
you tip your head back an open your mouth, as alfie spits into it and you swallow.
he gets dressed and proceeds to leave the toilets as he turns around one last time.
“get dressed girl. i’ll go order us some nando’s in the car.” he says before giving you a kiss and walking out.
god, you just can’t stay away from each other.
jacobvanloon
amandla
gummygunk
snowghoul
ellievsbear
