This blog is pretty random, I post about some horror movie related stuff and I reblog a lot of memes.
I also reblog a lot of mental health stuff because Im trying to get better🙃
I dont care who you are, if you need support or advice I gotchu♥️
tw : anorexia is contagious... I have been exposed! I don't have an eating disorder but I interact with that type of content. I'm pro-recovery! Sometimes I reblog things that have to do with abuse.
The End of the Fucking World: an annoying essay by me.
This show was honestly insanely better than I was expecting. It portrays a beautifully realistic, awkward relationship between two social outcasts with considerable trauma, and depicts their growth together. They make each other better despite all their conflict, and connect strongly enough to die for one another.
It may or may not have been influenced by my current emotional state, but i LOVED this show. I watched the trailer, came in expecting some sort of weird comedy about this kid trying to kill his girlfriend bc he’s a psychopath. Absolutely got the wrong impression. It begins with two characters who are mostly unlikeable, one pretending to be in love so he can kill her, and one who has unloving parents and wants to run away. So they do. The first episode I am a bit thrown off the weird psychopath shit, and I am even more thrown off by the assault and murder further on. Yet somehow in between, these two characters manage to put a stake in my heart with the awkward beginnings of romance, especially the dancing scene. When James leans in first instead of Alyssa it’s clear I am done for. The flowers, the tentative reach for her hand as she sleeps before the professor comes in, is all too much for my heart. James is clearly not a psychopath, just deeply fucked up by what his mom did. As the story continues and they go on the run, my heart is broken a million times alongside James’s, when he is left behind at the diner, when Alyssa choose sher dad over him... Yet all of these heartbreaks are offset with moments that show that they are meant for each other: When they both return to the diner, when James smiles at her as he bluffs his way through the robbery of the gas station.. they know and trust each other no matter what. James is careful to make sure Alyssa is always okay and backs down without questioning when she says she isn’t ready. Alyssa refuses to let James take the blame for the murder. And so we end up at the end of season one, an incredibly painful ending to their love story. James is prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice to prevent Alyssa from being arrested. Despite her refusal to comply, he does the unthinkable and betrays her, accepting the fact that he is going to die on that beach to save her. Season one ends in a heart wrenching gunshot, followed by the credits and so many questions racing through the viewers mind. Thank god it doesn’t end here.
Gotta unpack season two in another post because there is so much more that killed me and yea.
I wasn't sure I was gonna post about this today, but I thought it might be important to share..?
tw : suicide
A year ago today I tried to kill myself.
I obviously failed or I wouldn't be writing this - in fact I wasn't close to dying at all. I hardly even bled.
But hey, I tried. I wanted to die.
Honestly, sometimes I wish I had, but sometimes is getting to be a lot more rare now.
Since then I've gotten closer to my sister. I've found new favorite foods, movies, songs, hobbies. I've figured out what the hell I want to do with my life.
things are not perfect, but things are better.
I have a future now. It's getting closer every day, every day I'm getting closer to freedom - to being able to be who I want to be, to believe what I want to believe in.
Today I am happy, I might not be tommorrow or the day after, but today I am, and that's better then nothing.
So to anyone out there who's thinking of taking their own life and just ending everything today, I have no promises. I don't know that things are going to get better for you, but I know they might.
They did for me.
Please stay. My dms are always open to anyone who might want a friend, I think I'm pretty cool.
guys I feel like the more I stay with my mom the worse things get. I really want to leave but I'm scared I wouldn't be able to make it by myself, I mean I shouldn't have to, but I think anything is better then this. can anyone give me any tips on how to keep living when I feel like being around her is slowly killing me? I don't care what it is, anything could help <3
Abusive parents force you to hide things you would otherwise never have to worry about hiding, because you learn that they can flip out about anything, make a scene from anything, misunderstand one detail and go insane over it. So you don’t tell them about anything you can avoid, and you try to deal with things yourself as much as humanely possible, which takes the burden of taking care of you from them, and onto your shoulders.
This is dangerous as well because you don’t tell them about a friend who did something horrible to you, you don’t tell them about a sociopath who tried to groom or touch you, you don’t tell them about horrifying heartbreak you feel when someone abandons you, you don’t tell them when your world is falling apart because you know that at best, they’ll be uninterested, at worst, they will tell you it was your fault and you deserved it.
Living in secrecy becomes normal and when you develop trauma symptoms it once again feels like it’s your fault because you never said anything, you never told them how much they were hurting you, you didn’t speak up and open up about your problems. But how in the world would you? You know if you had, all that you would get is insults, blame, threats, guilt and shame thrown in your face, how could you possibly take that on top of having trauma symptoms? You can’t, it’s not worth risking. Suffering in silence becomes your only survival option, and you watch your heart break a little more every day that nobody cares that you’re breaking apart.
hey my dad is literally dying and i'm trying to go see him but my coworker needs $30 to cover my shift tonight bc things are tight for them too and they'd be missing pay from coaching - if anyone can please help me my venmo is julesbrantley #4084 and cashapp is $julesbrantley
paypal.me/bravejules
please help i need to fund this asap and i'm already losing hundreds due to missing both jobs yesterday and today and paying for gas
