Do I look like a detective to you?

The name's Nissa. I'm just a high school student with a bit more to me than most. Everyone has their secrets but others are best saved between a certain commissioner and vigilante.

[nanigram]

[Behold! My favourite moment in Batman Beyond]

[beyondnissa]

I am alive

How long has it been since I've been here? Quite a long time. It feels like a dream some days but this little bug of a muse is starting to come back little by little and who knows? She'll stick as my life continues to change.

My steel job didn't last long as I got hurt pretty bad handling a beam. A nerve in my back went and I just haven't been the same since. I've tried doing easier things but my body has had so much abuse lately. I've been banged up and worn down for along time but I keep moving. I know I'm not as bad off as my mother and my father are but honestly I kinda feel like a fuck up.

To those that have no idea, my mom suffers from degenerative disc disease and my dad broke his back years ago. Since I last posted, I busted my ass at work to prove to my dad I could handle waking up at ridiculous hours in the morning to be ready for work and to work as hard as I could with my hands and body. I'm a hard worker and not afraid to get dirty but it turned out to be too much for my body to handle and I hate that fact. I failed but god did I try at that experience. I don't regret jumping into it and getting some money which all went to the household to survive.

I have no idea why I am writing this and listing out the details. I just felt an urge to write something here again after all this time has passed. It's made me realize maybe I am a bit like Nissa in some respects of having to push through the pain and the soreness of it all day to day to keep on moving. I try to keep moving but it's rough when all the main joints want to bust out of me after handling oil of haying the horses from round bales.

I've also had to rebuild the truck multiple times with parts or help with a new tree stand. I don't get a chance to have an actual vacation and I feel I seriously need one but I can't abandon my mom to my dad's idiocy.

I'm stuck in a major rut and can't get the hell out. I don't know what to do with my life and god have I hit a low point I never thought I'd hit. Sure things have been going well otherwise but I hate not being strong enough to do everything anymore. I used to but I did way too much heavy lifting as a child that I should not have done. I took tractors apart, motors, transmissions, everything and helped with harder weight I should not have been around.

Around my area work is physical and I cannot do much of that anymore I am realizing. I have no valid skills otherwise as I have been a work mule for so long. I just don't know anymore. I'm stuck in place like a revolving door and I don't know where to go from here. I know where I want to be but I just can't make it there.

Only thing keeping me sane is my dog that I have. He found me when he needed someone to care for him in the spring from an ex-friend. So Sam keeps me company and helps when I get too upset on things to remind me that I am good enough for something. I'm good enough for him. I'm also good enough for my girlfriend but I don't want her worrying over me like she does. She's far too good to me after everything we've gone through and even my mom was cool about it all when I finally came clean on it all.

I really have no idea why I am ranting here. I have no idea why I wrote all of that as I doubt some even care to see it. It's best left to a personal but idk. I felt compelled to write here a bit and so I have.

I'll be okay. I'll keep on trucking and just being here. Something will happen eventually but I am so tired. So so tired

[beyondnissa]

Important

Those not aware, I managed to get myself a job out of the blue sheerly from knowing someone and having him remember that I was dependable. With this line of work, I bust my ass to make the quota with handling steel for jobs that we either fabricate for, or assemble. This job so far has been pretty cool since I enjoy working with my hands, however it drains me of a lot of energy.

Grinding the welds down to make the surface of pieces flat, drilling holes for the dock guys to nail it together for the concrete job the stuff is for, and standing on concrete all day take it's tool after a while but hey, I can't complain. I like learning hands on and it's a helluva experience, especially when the boss is willing to teach me tricks of the trade so I can grow over time to understand more as well.

Because of this however, I don't know if I can dedicate a lot of time to my Beyond blogs. I found it only fair to write this for my followers and those that care. Life is changing a bit now that I somehow found a place to get some working experience and the guy wants to keep me around so far. So yeah, I'm honestly not sure how much time I'll have to dedicate to the blogs here in the fandom and if I have to leave them, they will remain standing and I will not delete them.

I just wanted to update everyone as it is only fair and proper of me to do so.

[the-schwayest-batman-around]

Arkham is the New Blackgate: Flocking to the Cave

[the-schwayest-batman-around]

“They trusted me enough when they found out the truth” Terry admitted. He was glad to have someone in his personal life know the secret. It made things easier, not having to keep two separate sets of friends for two very different parts of his life. It wasn’t like hanging out with Dana’s friends and his street friends that was the issue. Keeping secrets was always the toughest part.

“Any info can help out. If we can start dismantling Sabine’s empire while she’s in Arkham, she’ll have less resources to do any of her criminal plans.” He wanted to believe that would dissuade her from going back. After tonight though, he got the feeling that wouldn’t be the case.

[beyondnissa]

"Trust is valuable when it's given." A simple statement but one she understood. It was nice to know he had some close friends to talk with about the ordeal. Nissa on the other hand kept to herself or would talk with Barbara when she had time to kill. Then again, she didn't want to overburden the Comissh with pointless details either.

"Yeah, I know. I'll have to keep my eyes peeled for more people involved but she is kind of using the lower levels as a testing ground I think. I've narrowed down a few more spots to double check on my own for any signs of drug movements. When I know my hunch is right, I can let you know."

[the-schwayest-batman-around]

Arkham is the New Blackgate: Flocking to the Cave

[the-schwayest-batman-around]

Even after locking away Sabine in ISO, one of his newer rogues was going to find new ways to be a problem. This blackout and riot had all seemed to start because Sabine wanted her hands on TITAN and now she was paying for it. “I’ll see if I can help out. Maybe I’ll find a way to get to some of her suppliers.” Sabine had to trust other people with her recipes and that meant there had to be other cooks somewhere in the city. That could be what he worked on next.

“Nice. I’ll need you to bring you along to Cheesy Dan’s or something. I got a few friends who are really into that sort of stuff. Two of them know about…well you know.” Max and Dana thankfully wanted to stick around even after discovering Terry’s little secret. “The others not so much.”

[beyondnissa]

"I've been keeping tabs on some exchanges and some of her drug mules she has working with her. I know one of them from school." she sighed. Of course, she knew Rebel One probably knew of that little habit her younger sister had. It was likely Martha would be stuck where she was for the upcoming holiday season.

"Oh? Ah, well, if you trust them enough then that's good. You need to be able to talk to someone about the whole bat thing sometimes I would imagine. You've been doing it longer than I have after all." Nissa knew she had a lot more to learn but she was amused. "I wouldn't mind joining you sometime to that. I'll probably get along with your friends."

[eskrimazone-blog]

An awesome display of scientific human leverage. It helps to see how damaging Eskrima techniques can be to one’s opponent.

[beyondnissa]

The season was changing and with it a slight annoyance set in. Sure, some big fish had been handled in Gotham but it left her wondering about the future. Cold air pushed against Nissa's form as she continued to move at a fast pace through the city. A run never hurt after all and she needed the distraction. Winter had a claim on the city but snow had yet to fall but the bitter chill had people bundling up.

She pushed on with her leather jacket and scarf ignoring the others moving along. Everyone appeared to be more concerned about what they were going to do for the holiday season and Nissa didn't even think much on it. Sure, she didn't mind coming up with gift ideas but she had been working so hard she felt a bit burnt out. However, that didn't stop her from continuing her work as Batgirl.

Slowing down with her pace, she slipped around a few alleyways and checked her phone. "Hm, it's beginning to look a lot like fuck this." she murmured in a slight tune to that particular song.

[the-schwayest-batman-around]

Arkham is the New Blackgate: Flocking to the Cave

[the-schwayest-batman-around]

Terry would offer her his phone number right then and there, though Bruce would probably make sure the two of them didn’t move for a few hours at least. The life of living the super hero life meant a lot of stitches and aches and pains, something he was getting very used to.

“I mean…do you get a lot of super criminals down there? I mean the most I’ve ever seen is gang stuff down in Crown Point” Terry said. “What else do you do…out of costume I mean. For fun.”

[beyondnissa]

Nissa shifted ignoring the slight pain radiating from her back from some bruising but she wasn't as bad off as Terry was at that point in time. His question was valid and it brought her to pause. "Well, I get the feeling I'll have one major fish if she keeps her little minions sprouting up all over below. Sabine has been using the low levels as a testing ground from what I have found out. I got one area closed down."

That had been a while ago however but it was something. As for the hobbies, she rolled her shoulders and gave it some thought. "I generally work out as a hobby. Like parkour and free running as it helps hone skills but it's also fun to do. I don't mind goofing off with video games either when I get the down time but I've kind of put that to the side. When I'm not doing those things, I read."

[beyondnissa]

“Okay, that I deserved.”

After all, they had been in a fight not long before Nissa had made the move to grab the other from behind. Her nose would mend and the bleeding would stop as well. In the meantime, she spat out a bit of blood from her mouth and held her nose closed.

[beyondnissa]

Long Ass List of Daredevil Sentence Starters

"Scream all you want. Come on, let me hear you scream. Scream loud. Nobody gives a shit down here."

"I gotta go bribe a cop."

"But seriously, yeah, I gotta go bribe a cop."

"Please stop giving my mom cigars."

"Look, I'm not asking you to do anything immoral."

"You've never done this before?"

"Maybe we can help each other."

"All I did was ask him for a drink."

"Define yourself by what you have, value the differences, make no apologies for what you lack."

"I thought I detected a whiff of virtue in there."

"But I'm awkward and unfashionable. Those things don't seem to apply to you."

"I just don't feel like going home okay?"

"So let's hop a few bars, not think about it."

"Your outfit kind of sucks, by the way."

"You haven't told me anything about you."

"Okay, good because I was starting to worry you might be in love with me."

"I drank the eel. Not a euphemism."

"And we are now filled with mighty eel strength!"

"After what you told me, I'm never going home again."

"I know you're scared, but I'm here to help you. Okay? - You don't have to be scared anymore."

"I make a heck of a latte, if you're interested."

"Facts have no moral judgment. They merely state what is. Not what we think of them, not what we feel."

"I know how hard this must be for you."

"You have no idea how any of this is for me."

"They have to pay for what they've done."

"They won't listen."

"We'll make them listen."

"You do not want to test me."

"You think this is still about you?"

"You should have just killed me. You coward."

"This is an offer, not an order."

"I did some digging into your, uh past activities."

"A man/woman that can be bought isn't worth having."

"I said you should move on. Didn't say anything about me."

"Even though our perception of it changes, one thing remains constant. The past can never be completely erased. It lingers."

"I've been lied to before by men/women. Some were even decent ones but they still felt the need to be dishonest about things that mattered."

"Hey, that's not a reason, it's an excuse."

"I want you to touch my face."

"Just tell me what you feel."

"You need anything else, you know where to find me."

"You want the short answer or the long one?"

"We need to contain this."

"Lying to that woman is impossible."

"Choose a side."

"I'm the closest he/she has to family. He'd/She'd do the same for me."

"That wasn't very smart, but it was fun watching you bleed."

"Life is not a fairy tale. Not everyone deserves a happy ending."

"Animals don't stop fighting. Not until one of them is dead."

"Admittedly, I'm a work in progress."

"Let's get this started."

"You know what they call stuff like that? Gifts. The special kind. The kind that very few people have. Or deserve."

"Smart don't come out of books, kid. Smart is making the right decision at the right time."

"Big world. Not all of it flowers and sunshine, and the only way guys like you and me can survive is to grab it by the throat and never let go."

"Are you gonna lie there all night or get up off your ass?"

"What a shithole."

"This is my life and I made something of it, without you."

"Relationships are a luxury men like you and me can't afford."

"Is that why you left? Huh? To protect me?"

"You got heart kid, but heart's not enough."

"Anger is a spark, good. Rage is a wildfire, out of control, therefore useless. Just like you."

"We all pay for our choices."

"I've learned a lot since you've been gone."

"You're a dick."

"Say that you want my help."

"I want you to help yourself."

"I don't need a friend. I need a soldier."

"In war, people die. If it's not you, it's the guy next to you."

"I swear I will not kill anybody. Pussy."

"Never is a man more good looking than when he is in love."

"You do your job, I'll do mine."

"On occasion some dickery may leak out, but doesn't mean I'm wrong."

"So, how long before I do something that pisses you off?"

"You can't listen to people like that. You have to just block them out."

"Yeah, you're just a guy, right? A really, really good-looking guy."

"If you weren't half dead, I would kick your ass."

"We're gonna be the best damn avocados this city has ever seen."

"Misspelling 'Hanukkah' is a mistake. Attempted murder is a little something else."

"Well, we seldom get everything we want. Not in this world."

"You were really something back in the day. When you had a soul."

"I'm not afraid to die."

"We'll be together, that's all that matters."

"You really think that this will change anything?"

[bellatornoctis-archive]

     “Because now you’re talking to the result of mixing a Bat with an Amazon warrior.”

[beyondnissa]

"I'm not afraid of that fact. I'm the product of never giving up despite who I'm related to."

[bellatornoctis-archive]

     “If you could handle the challenge.”

[beyondnissa]

"I'm sure I can handle it just fine. I've fought for everything else in my life. Why stop now?"

[bellatornoctis-archive]

     “Afraid you’re gonna have to try harder with me, kyría.”

[beyondnissa]

“I don’t mind working hard. I just prefer challenges.”

[bellatornoctis-archive]

      “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

[beyondnissa]

"Oh, it's gotten me some places."

[the-schwayest-batman-around]

Arkham is the New Blackgate: Flocking to the Cave

[the-schwayest-batman-around]

Terry wasn’t sure if he was happy or not to hear that. At least she was aware that this lifestyle didn’t exactly give them time to recuperate. What had Barbara said once? It was a tough job with very little rewards. At least she seemed to be okay with the small rewards that came with this life.

“Remind me when we’re able to move again to give you my number.” Who knew, maybe he could introduce Nissa to his gang of friends. At the very least, he’d have to tell Max about the Batgirl all the way down by Crown Point.

“But I got your back if you need anything.” She wasn’t like Jake. Nissa was far, far different from Vigilante. She had gotten everyone’s approval and while no one forced the two to team up and work together…maybe this sort of relationship could work out.

[beyondnissa]

Before she had taken up her role to do something, she knew it would not be easy. Nothing in life truly ever was but she'd fight regardless. At his remark of numbers, she nodded. "Yeah, that would be a good idea. Keep in contact, work on a friend relationship more and keep each other informed on any new details that could be important to our work."

Nissa was totally up for keeping communication going with Terry. While she had her stint as a solo fighter, she had to admit it had been a pleasant surprise to team up with him on some occasions. They worked fluidly together without a lot of practice. One could only imagine what kind of tag team they could be if they worked away and practiced as well. Not that she would ever try and be a worry to him, she understood nonetheless the roles they had to play.

"Same to you, Terry. All you have to do is ask and I'll do whatever I can to keep your back intact." she smirked.

[bellatornoctis-archive]

      “Never forget that I am a ninja and could kick your ass.”

[beyondnissa]

“Oh I’m shaking with fear.”

Honest hour. Nothing will be deleted. Just come and ask.