bianca's memories ( 03/??? )
i didn’t blame him. with our words flying like bullets, ricocheting off of each other and causing tiny little wounds in our egos- i didn’t blame him for what he said. and looking back at it now, i couldn’t even remember what he said. so, how could i blame him?
what started with a fight over ryan, one of my coworkers, and his “too-close for comfort hugs”, ended with a remark i knew he regretted when it fell from his lips and into the tense air around us. my shoulders tensed and i remember flinching as if he physically struck me. it was low, very low. i remember turning on my heel and storming into the bedroom we had shared for months now, my blood boiling with anger, hurt. but i couldn’t let him know that, couldn’t let him see how it hurt me that much.
it had to be an hour or so later when ross walked into the bedroom. he was cautious, and i noticed as he kept his distance from me. smart boy. i was laying on the bed, legs crossed indian style as i kept my eyes locked on him. i watched as he went to turn down the covers on his side. i tilted my head to the side and moved my eyes up to meet his.
“what are you doing?” i kept my voice low, level enough to not snarl at him.
“going to bed.” he spoke, matter-of-factly and i only felt my blood soar faster in my veins.
“not in here.” i replied as i turned my eyes back to the book in my hands, paying him no mind. i wasn’t about to get myself worked up again, not when i was so close to cooling down.
“what- where am i supposed to sleep then, bee?”
my hands gripped at the edges of my book and i sucked in a deep breath before muttering, “on the couch, that’s where dogs belong.”
~*~
it was four am when i glanced at the clock for what was seemingly the hundredth time. i couldn’t sleep with out him. not when there was so much unclear air between the two of us like this. but that was besides the point. ross was my safety net, and as childish as it sounded, he kept the nightmares and the boogeyman away. i needed him.
i knew i was going to bite myself in the ass later for this, especially when i had made it such a point to be mad at him for so long.
i had heard his snores for well over three hours now, so i knew the coast was clear. i pulled myself from the bed, slipping my feet into my slippers. i rubbed at my eyes as i opened the bedroom door, small yawns slipping from my lips. making my way out of the bedroom and towards the couch, i managed to trip over the shoes he had left in the middle of the floor.
fucking ross.
i made it to the couch in one piece though, my heart swelling up in my chest as i saw his lanky body sprawled out over the cushions. i rubbed my eyes again and reached out, using all of my force to try and shove his body back a bit. to say it was difficult was an understatement. ross' dead weight body flopped over as i had successfully pushed him over far enough to create some space for myself. i kicked off my slippers and lifted up the blanket, situating myself next to him. curling up to his side, i nestled my head into his neck and pressed a small kiss to where his jaw met his neck.
his body stirred next to mine and i froze up, immediately relaxing when his arms wrapped themselves around my torso. i glanced up at him from under my lashes, watching as his eyes fluttered open. i began to pull myself back from his grasp, muttering tired apologies under my breath. i didn't mean to wake him, and making him angry is far from what i wanted. i sucked him a long breath as he pulled me back, tightening his arms almost too tight around me.
"ross!" i shrieked, small giggles falling from my mouth. "can't. breathe."
his laugh rang through my ears and my heart soared again. i felt him roll over on top of me and i groaned as he managed to put all of his body weight on me. i tried my best to shove him off, my arms shaking as i held him up for all of two seconds before his body came crashing back down. i screamed, more laughs racking at my chest. he lifted himself up off of me and i placed myself back into his side. his lips were at my hair and i curled up tighter.
"'M sorry." he mumbled into my hair and i nodded slowly.
"i know." i breathed, falling asleep to his gentle fingers twirling in my hair.
