Bigboss:(grumpy) Is there any work being done for this channel? Quiet, except for me playing ukulele. Bigboss:....you fuckers. (walks off)

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@bigbossminiboss
Bigboss:(grumpy) Is there any work being done for this channel? Quiet, except for me playing ukulele. Bigboss:....you fuckers. (walks off)
After we told him his 'No Disco Fans' sign directed at one designer was bullying...
Bigboss: How come you get to have that (a cut out of his head with 'approved! all approved' speech bubble) up there?
Me: That's a positive message
Bigboss: No Disco Fans IS a positive message. It's like... 'No Plague'. It's a good thing.
Bigboss: Check out this camel toe...it's like....corrugated vagina!
Bigboss: I hate musicals, but I LOVE West Side Story
Bigboss: (standing in the middle of the pod, to no one in particular) What's the i-thing you put music on?
Me: ipod?
Bigboss: yeah, that's it
Me: Hehe (writes notes for posting on tumblr later)
Bigboss: No! You can't put that on there! I sound stupid!
Bigboss: Hello Kitty shoes will not be tolerated in this professional environment. This is not up for discussion.
Me: Do you have any valium?
Bigboss: I have plenty
Me: Can I have some?
Bigboss: No, I need it.
Bigboss: From here (motions to back of his head) to here (motions to front)...it's all white noise.
(Bigboss' presentation slide, text says 'How DoWe Make Things Better?')
Bigboss: How do we make things better?
Me: Put a space between 'do' and 'we'?
Bigboss: Yes. Okay. What else?
Me: Do I get a prize?
Bigboss: Yes...you can have a prize.
Me: Can we get blinds? So I have the option of sunlight?
Bigboss: You have a fish
Me: A fish is not sunlight
Bigboss: A fish is moving towards happiness.
Miniboss: I saw the shorts for it and would rather eat my own vomit.
Miniboss: Your moral compass points straight to hell
Bigboss: You made me hit my employees
Bigboss: (carrying empty win glass, looking in cupboards) Would she have hidden case of wine under her desk?
Later....
Bigboss: We shouldn't realllly be drinking, should we?
Bigboss: What happened to the lion's hair? It used to be at one with the grass. Now it looks like he's had a bad blow dry.
Bigboss: Hey guys...guys. Everything here. Is. Mine.
Miniboss (busted scratching his crotch): It's mine, I can touch it if I want to! You're jsut jealous. You want one.