Cow Dolly’s Tips for Gaining 🍎🤓📝🤰
Good morning, class! Your friendly neighborhood heifer here to give you some tips and tricks for gaining! A few people have been asking me for advice, so I thought I’d make a list for everyone of all the things I’ve done to help me gain 90 lbs in about 4 years. I’m more of a slow and steady wins the race kinda gainer girl, but if you wanna look like me I can certainly help you out!
So much of gaining weight is allowing it to sneak up on you. If you’re wearing tight, form fitting clothes like jeans, you’re going to be more aware of changes in your body. Take my advice and stop wearing anything that touches you too much! I exclusively wear sweatpants, loose shorts, big t-shirts, and flowy dresses. Trust me when I say you won’t notice until it’s too late when you start to fill in baggy clothes. If you’re not as aware that you’re gaining weight, the less likely you’ll be to do something super sad like go on a diet or cut back on food… or god forbid, exercise 🤮 You deserve to have the big, fat, comfortable body you want! Don’t let what other people might think of you sabotage your gain. You deserve to eat and eat well if that’s what you want! ❤️
Eating well is expensive, but there are so many delicious calories in restaurant food and fast food. I made the choice for myself that I would rarely cook; I don’t really enjoy it and I would always just be bummed out that I wasn’t eating fast food anyway 😂 This is a gift to myself because of my schedule and mental health as well. It’s easier for me to just take one less stressor - cooking - out of my life. However, this is an expensive gift and I know that. If you don’t have as much income to devote to take-out, do some research on where to eat the most for the least amount of money! Buffets are always an excellent choice if you’re able to drive, as well as the classic pizza special 🍕 Taco Bell has lots of things for cheap, and if you play your cards right at McDonald’s you can get the equivalent of 3 or 4 meals for about $12. Look at menus closely to see what options are the most calorie dense! Sometimes it’s worth paying $25 for one meal when that meal comes with 3570 calories (like the ribs and tenders combo at Cheddar’s 🤤). Also, snoop around the appetizers and don’t be afraid to make a meal out of them! Oftentimes appetizers will be some of the most calorie dense (and most delicious) options on the menu! Cooking for yourself can always be nice and produce some good results, too, but nothing is going to put fat on quite as fast as fast food! 🍔
While still drinking at least a little bit of water everyday (you need it for digestion, babes) you should keep soda or another sweetened drink in mind to go with your meals or with snacks. One great trick is to actually drink diet sodas! Aspertame ironically makes you crave sweets, and you’ll be more likely to find yourself with your hand in the cookie jar! 😉
4. Find a Way to Eat that Works for You 🍩🍟
You do not need to stuff to gain weight! Snacking throughout the day can be just as effective at putting weight on as having a few big meals. Snacking is another way to keep you excited to eat, as well! Having a variety of snacks around you will help you have a little bit of everything. Alternate between salty and sweet; having a salty or savory snack to help cut the sweetness of the one before is a great excuse to use to just eat more. If stuffing is more your speed, take my advice and eat until you’re definitely full; you’re not hurting but your stomach is physically tight or hard to the touch. Doing this ensures that you’re enlarging your stomach and training it to hold more food overtime.
If you can, try and eat every meal in front of the tv! It’s actually been proven that we eat more when we’re distracted by something else, like our favorite tv show. Another thing I like to do while I eat is masturbate 😋 For the last year or so I’ve been keeping a bullet vibrator on while I eat my meals to reinforce mentally and sexually that what I’m doing is good, sexy, and my all-time favorite thing! When you get a reward every time you eat, you’re going to start associating eating with something you really, really wanna do! 🫦
6. Spend Time Admiring Yourself and Other Fat People 📸 💕
The more you see images and videos of beautiful, handsome fat people, the more your brain is going to recognize them as the desirable people that they are! Society has taught us that fat people can’t be sexy or gorgeous or hot as hell 🥵 and that’s just not true! Spend time on tumblr or other sites where fat people are flourishing and then take some time with your own body. Your body is beautiful; touch it, fondle it, take pictures of it because it’s just so damn sexy! The more you see yourself as fat and sexy like these other hot ass fatties, the quicker your brain is going to reinforce your self-confidence and goals for your weight! To be honest I can barely watch straight sized porn anymore because it’s so boring without fat porn stars!! 😂
7. Exchange Exercise for Stretching 🙆♀️🧘♀️
It’s very important that you move your body, that’s just a fact, but there’s no need for you to exercise if you don’t want to. Becoming sedentary is a crucial step to gaining weight; we don’t want to burn too many of the calories we just ate! To keep myself limber and to help with blood flow, I do a few stretches every other day or so to retain a level of movement. There are so many stretches you can do while sitting or lying down! A good goal for a sedentary lifestyle is to get up and move as little as possible during the week and maybe going out to do something active for a few hours on the weekend. Luckily I work from home for part of the month and can cut my steps down to less than 500 a day! This has been huge in getting all of these calories to stick. It might be fun to get a fitness tracker just to make sure you’re sticking to the 500 steps or less rule 😋
8. Never Tell Yourself No ❤️👍
This is my simplest tip! If you want something to eat, then eat it. If you want something to drink, then drink it. Society tells us that it’s wrong to ignore moderation, but to me, gluttony is the celebration of our wants and the self-fulfillment of our needs. There’s no such thing as “too much.” That’s an opinion that someone else has about you and your life, nothing more. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t give yourself what you want because it’s your life and no one else’s. If you want to get fat then get fat. Create the body that feels the most like yourself! Eat up and don’t stop until that belly’s pressing into the table!! 💕
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