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compendium of cute pre-live-task greetings

tonight I watched every single Taskmaster live task intro from series 13 on and typed them all out because I wanted to know how many cute ways Greg addressed Alex

so like

here they all are

the winner by a mile is “young fella m’lad” which Greg has used to address Alex 7 times, followed by “baby boy” which he has called Alex 5 times. then there a few he’s used twice, but mostly one-offs!

full list under the cut!

#taskmaster #taskmaster uk #britcom #greg davies #alex horne #taskhusbands

I have seen everyone’s posts about which Dropout comedians would be good on Taskmaster and have now also seen enough Dropout shows to have arrived at the Most Correct Take

obviously, OBVIOUSLY, the Dropout comedian who would be most compelling on Taskmaster is Grant Anthony O’Brien

do I think he would be best at or even particularly unusual in how he completed the tasks? I do not

do I want to see what happens to Greg Davies when he has to spend 5 days with a horny bisexual libertine who is—and this is important—two inches taller than him?

good god, yes

I want it so much

#greg is a glorious combination: shagger who was raised by pauline davies #the world’s least worldly woman #i truly have no idea whether his maiden aunt tendencies would win out #or would it be a race to the bottom #certainly not discounting both simultaneously #he is vast; he contains multitudes; he can blush and clutch his pearls while spewing filth #what i am saying is: it would be a challenging edit #i do think the height thing would weird greg out #he’s met people taller than him but i don’t think any have been comics #and i doubt he’s ever been hit on by a taller man #and i want to see this #greg davies #taskmaster #taskmaster uk #grant o’brien #dropout #comedy

rickyapologist

can't make edits can't make gifs can't draw can't paint but rest assured I can tell you all the deranged nuanced ways those guys are actually kind of each other's parents

sombradusk

only you

bightmarks

Alex: It took 8 years for you to tell me.

Greg: Yeah, and I only told you because you told me you were dying.

[All three laugh]

Alex: [finger on lips] Shhhh! That’s not good for the vibe of the show.

Greg: No, it was bad for my vibe as well!

Alex: I know, I know. I mean, it’s slow, it’s not anything that’s—it’s not going to arrive—

Greg: I thought, ‘Oh no, am I gonna have to make up the tasks now? So boring.’

#like they’re joking around obviously #but not in an improv ‘none of that actually happened’ way #imo #that’s more of a ‘all of this is true it’s just not as bad as it sounds’ way #so like #beginnings of heart disease maybe?#if the readings in the ‘excite alex’ task in s7 are any indication the man’s got hypertension lol #also while we’re diagnosing people over the internet via tea leaves i think greg has gout

sombradusk

only you

#this was romantic but can we discuss the fact that they followed up by implying that Alex has a slow-moving but fatal disease???#like that didn’t sound like an improvised bit #???#that sounds like Alex straight up knows what’s going to (slowly) kill him #what a weird little moment I’m going to think about twice a week for the rest of his life

I love how I feel real friendship for all of you even though I know like 2 and a half details about each of your real lives

it’s nice :)

#i feel love in the club tonight

shakeyhorne

F1 Grand Prix of Great Britain!

#oh no #i’m sexually attracted to a man in long camouflage shorts #this has never happened to me #if this were the only photo set we had of him you might be able to convince me he’s heterosexual #to be clear: i still would #and he still isn’t #greg davies #britcom

know what’s really cute?

middle-aged British boy bands

i don’t care about them when they’re young, but 30 years in? when they’re all 50 and still live in each other’s pockets??? adorable

#this thought brought to you by me watching nmtb over and over as background noise while i work #greg davies is half in love with every member of Five and he’s right to be #they’re CUTE

ok so i keep seeing you and some others mentioning that alex is a former smoker but how do we know that slash do we know that for sure? is there some key piece of horne lore that i‘ve just never seen or watched?

I read this and was like “absolutely, I got that from…???” and then realized I don’t remember where I got it at all. I swear he has talked about quitting smoking around 2010. I have no specific memory of hearing this.

Hopefully someone else has a better memory than I do!

#alex horne #taskmaster #britcom #asks #it doesn’t feel like I made it up but it’s a real possibility #if i had to guess i would say it came up on a podcast #absolutely no fucking idea which one

People you'd like to get to know better

I got tagged 🤩 thank you @ananeiah! I was going to pretend to be cool about it if no one tagged me, but also slump around kicking dirt sadly.

Last song: “Suspirium” by Thom Yorke

Favourite colour: Pastel purple! The accent colour on my blog is my fav. It’s also why the white-browed tit warbler is my favourite bird.

Currently watching: Taskmaster series 9. Definitely self-soothing after the series 22 cast announcement. Between my own disappointment and the departure of a couple of my favourite people from the fandom, I’m going through it a bit.

Currently reading: Don’t have any published literature on the go at the moment. Been reading Hannibal fanfiction because I’ve read 2000 TM fics and I don’t want to memorize my favourites.

Current obsession: Unfortunately I’m not in charge of this, so it’s still Taskmaster full-force. My previous 5-year-long fixation on ancient China still chugs along in the background a bit, and I also like birds but in the “middle-aged men all get into birds eventually” way.

Currently working on: My actual job! I make and sell A Product, and I do every part of it myself, so I am always making Product or doing graphic design or marketing or shipping Products.

Coffee or tea: Historically both, but for the past few years neither, because caffeine doesn’t play nicely with my ADHD meds. I tried to get by with a lower dose of Adderall so I could have a little caffeine but unfortunately I’m way more sensitive to caffeine than I am to amphetamines lmao

Last internet search: lists of colors wikipedia (trying to figure out if the shade of lilac/mauve/wisteria/lavender that is my favourite has a consistent name)

tagging @eerieflavour and @properverse and @haredjarris and @rickyapologist but only if you feel like it :)

#normally I am genuinely chill about whether or not I get tagged in the chain mail #but this time i was just faking chill #personal

evilteethgore

Pre-beard and glasses Greg Davies is a different person to post-beard and glasses Greg Davies and I can't be the only one to notice. Both Gregs are attractive but in very different ways

#i agree but in my defence #i am faceblind #i actually consider series 1-5 taskmaster greg to be like the charmeleon to series 6+’s charizard #but pre-2015 cleanshaven spiky haired greg?#that’s a different shape #can’t be the same guy if he’s a completely different shape #kiki greg vs bouba greg

this was not your poast and also it's old and im not on anon so that you can reply privately if you want

you can get a black cotton dress and an apron if you want a maid outfit that can just be thrown in the wash without drycleaning. maybe that would make subsequent scenes easier

I was actually just joking with the tag about drycleaning, my French maid costume is 100% polyester and fully machine-washable lmao

the real problem with it is it’s an off-the-rack women’s garment so it fits me quite poorly! I’ve always meant to alter it, but it’s so far down the priority list I never get to it

honestly, if the maid roleplay or cross-dressing were the key thing for me (or him) I’d make time for it and put the effort in, but I really do think most kinky people are like us and mainly get by with verbal play and imagination because it gets you 90% of the way there without faffing about with set-up

like, people who are really into honour bondage can talk a big game about how holding still is more profoundly submissive than being tied up, but also it’s just a lot less fuss than restraints and you don’t have to dig anything out of a box under the bed lol

#like any hobby it’s 50% shopping and 40% finding the time #if you can make magic happen with just a homophobic slur and a crisp slap to the face why wouldn’t you tbqh