me when some boring-ass male director makes a boring-ass movie
me when taika waititi makes a movie

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if i look back, i am lost
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Misplaced Lens Cap

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@bigworldsmallfry
me when some boring-ass male director makes a boring-ass movie
me when taika waititi makes a movie
You don’t have to fake orgasm to help your partner’s ego. The guy I lost my virginity to wrote a play about the experience, and the character based on me gave a monologue about how she regretted sleeping with him because no one else would ever be that good. So, yeah. Just tell him you didn’t cum.
Im sorry he wrote a fucking what
a scientist and an icon
But how can you leave out the line where our girl says “You didnt really think I was in love with you?”
Shit was iconic
here you go:
by Etalì
under communism we all have to share one toothbrush with this man
I have no words for this.. Phenomenal
Tag your porn
Someone please quickly explain baby clothing sizes to me
baby clothes are smaller than most adult or even childrens clothes. i hope this helps
so the cah pride pack has options for buying it “with glitter" and “without glitter” and knowing cards against humanity they just tip like 3 tablespoons of fucking glitter into the pack of cards and send it out
this is absolutely what they’ve done
I did it to myself so you don’t have to
send help
thank you for your sacrifice
“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”
-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut
Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this
I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing
so lady comes through drive thru. “Hi what can I get for you?” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?” “No” “Alright, you can pull up” and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?” I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice “Hi how are you today?” She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.” I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.” “I know what you meant. But it was rude.” “Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.” She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy) I’m like “… ok” So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do. “Hi, can I help you?” “Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.” “Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.” Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.” She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.” Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.” “Oh” Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?” Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.” Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?
So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss “And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.” boss goes “We don’t do that here.” “yea you do.” “No we don’t.” “yea you do.” “Have a good day.”
Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.
my favorite samberg meme is finding weird pictures of him deep in the internet with no context
please feel free to add your favorite no-context pics of sambags below
what did we as the human race do to deserve him
Ariana looks so good here
when you got banned from all social media for harassing women so you got no place to vent except Microsoft Word and a printer
enough tedtalk….. it’s time to tedlisten………