Today's Document
titsay
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Misplaced Lens Cap
Peter Solarz
d e v o n
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Origami Around
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
shark vs the universe
trying on a metaphor
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Jules of Nature
Kaledo Art
No title available
noise dept.
Sade Olutola
No title available
will byers stan first human second
seen from Mexico
seen from United States
seen from Chile
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from Canada
seen from Algeria
seen from Panama
seen from Panama
seen from Costa Rica
seen from Costa Rica
seen from United States
seen from Costa Rica
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@bilive-in-yourself
Hi I'm not ok
I feel so numb and I keep having emotional mood swings and keep crying and feeling so low
I was going to write out a story giving a bit of context but I havent even the energy for that
I shouldnt be feeling this, I'm wonderfully loved and am happy, most of the time. I'm relied on as being the sane one in the family who is doing ok but like fuck man it's so hard
I dont know what's wrong
I really don't feel like I'm good enough for my boyfriend and I'm worried about what he thinks of me. He is so so smart and is applying to uni to do physics and I coulf barely make it into the second year of college. His house went up for sale recently and it is going for over 4 times what mine is. His family are stable and his parents are both very well educated and are A Traditional Family Unit and mine is just me and my mum and my sister. I'm the only one in the house that hasnt been medically diagnosed with a mental illness but I was emotionally abused by my father and my bf is just out here with a healthy family?? I dont know I just dont feel good enough
Nvm we are talking through it because I literally tell him everything so wanted to talk to him about it
DIDNT MEAN TO REBLOG THIS TO MY MAIN OOPS
I really don't feel like I'm good enough for my boyfriend and I'm worried about what he thinks of me. He is so so smart and is applying to uni to do physics and I coulf barely make it into the second year of college. His house went up for sale recently and it is going for over 4 times what mine is. His family are stable and his parents are both very well educated and are A Traditional Family Unit and mine is just me and my mum and my sister. I'm the only one in the house that hasnt been medically diagnosed with a mental illness but I was emotionally abused by my father and my bf is just out here with a healthy family?? I dont know I just dont feel good enough
Sooo
Yeah we've been together over 5 months now and have fucked a few times and I am so in love
29.10.19
I kissed A.S during the second week and it was his first kiss and it was great, very quick tho, and then I kissed him goodbye at the end of the funfair as well, also a very quick ordeal!
3.6.19
He was very quick to say "I love you" and I didnt say it back at first but now I do and I honestly adore him. He is my best friend and if I'm not talking to him, I'm thinking about him :)) he makes me so very very happy
1.6.19 (Two weeks in)
Sooooooo I think I have a boyfriend??
This is my first! I am terrified of this whole thing but I get on so well with him I am not sure what I'm scared of?
It was so obvious that we liked each other tho it was actually funny
18.5.19
Ok so I made out with B, oops!
I was coming to terms with the fact that B lives too far away and doesn't like me and all that stuff and then he comes round my house, is sweet as fuck, also respectful as fuck (which I was so so appreciative of), and hugs me and holds my hands and did the thumb rub thing and then kept squeezing me tightly which was really really nice and then asks if he can kiss me, then sticks his tongue down my throat for 2 hours, spoons me to sleep and then never mentions it again!
Don't get me wrong tho I'm sort of glad we arent mentioning it and making a big deal out of it at all that would only complicate things and things are good currently :)
19.4.19
A.S
I've started talking to this boy A.S and he is lovely and I think he might like me back, fingers crossed!
16/4/19
So H is wonderful and we are so similar it scares me and so different it almost makes me laugh! We have such different lives and such different backgrounds but my God I feel as if she has been there with me through out my entire life!
29.1.19
So my sister keeps telling me I am a toxic friend because my old best friend, M, moved away and now I am becoming really close with this new friend, H, and I think it is because she reminds me of M, like they have the same energy, and my sister thinks that I have just easily replaced M but the thing is that when M left I cried so hard and for so long that it is nice to have someone who I feel like I have known for years. Obviously they are different and that is amazing because I get to find out all about H and her life and what she is about and I'm sure as I learn more and more about her she will become so differnt to M in my mind, but for now I feel like she is a blessing and I feel safe in her presence
26/12/18
It's 2:35am and I am a mess ignore this
Right so basically I am sleep deprived and have drunk today because its Christmas and now I'm the only one up and so am like emotional and sensitive because of those reasons and realised that it was Christmas day 2 years ago that I last saw my dad and my grandparents and everyone and idk i just looked at a photo of them all and i know i probably shouldn't because it isnt healthy but fuck me it hit me like a truck like wow I just looked at my fathers face and it physically hurt me?? Like my chest hurt and I couldnt bare to look at him and then looked at my grandparents and have so many mixed feelings like I love them but also fuck them ya know?
23/12/18
So I have struggled so much with my identity this year and really had a lot of internal identity crisis' and I think it's because before I was out I was thinking about being bi the entire time. Not a day went by for over like 2 or 3 years when it wasn't something I was thinking about. After I came out to most people I stopped thinking about it as much as it stopped being the most important thing I was thinking about, so I think that I now have a lot more time to think about other things, and have realised I am actually quite boring and I was using being gay as a personality trait so now I don't know who I am anymore and don't know what to fill my head with
Anyway do I think I just need to become more interesting and find a hobby or something lmao
10/11/18
So I am becoming close with this girl. She going to be called JE and she is a lesbian, and knows I am bi
She gives me really good eye contact and we are always giggling together in class and she is so pretty!
I was sort of flirting with her today but I kinda felt bad because I still also like B but I have known him for over a year now and nothing has happened and I know I don’t owe him anything and I shouldn’t feel guilty but I do!
19/11/18
IMPORTANT UPDATE!!!
JE came out to me as non binary the other night so I spent my free period with them today because I know that they aren't out to many people at all and so I needed to make sure that they feel loved and supported. I had such a good time with them, we sat talking and laughing for hours and it was lovely!
They threw an apple in the bin and I told them that their aiming skills made my ovaries explode and they laughed so hard it was great
My heart is so full :))
10/11/18
So I am becoming close with this girl. She going to be called JE and she is a lesbian, and knows I am bi
She gives me really good eye contact and we are always giggling together in class and she is so pretty!
I was sort of flirting with her today but I kinda felt bad because I still also like B but I have known him for over a year now and nothing has happened and I know I don't owe him anything and I shouldn't feel guilty but I do!
I met a girl
On the taster day at my college and she was wearing flannel in like 29 degree whether and long story short I think she might be gay maybe???
But then this wouldn’t be the first time that I thought a girl wearing flannel was gay and she was actually a Hetro
Aksjsjskj so she messaged me today and I was like ok play it cool and I opened it and she was asking about my FRIEND!!! Not in like a romantic way tho or anything just a curiosity about his mum (long story) so there may still be hope
Nah she is straight dw this is cancelled goodnight
Date a boy who makes you a playlist of songs that makes him think of you
Now i just need him to have the balls to ask me out because God knows I don't have any
