Rereading The Long Game and while I love this book, it is truly baffling to me how ALL of Shane’s big issues are just.. glossed over.
Shane coming out to his team? A sentence. ( thank you Jacob for already saying this will be on screen.)
Shane “getting over” his disordered eating and “deciding” he can eat cheeseburgers and cake now? Half a sentence.
Shane’s fear about coming out coming true and being drug through the media and deciding to switch teams? A sentence.
His best friend J.J. apologizing for being a jerk and treating him like a traitor? A sentence.
Also exactly zero of these moments happen on the page. We’re just told they happened.
Like I’m just confused. We spent all this time in therapy with Ilya and don’t get me wrong I loved it.. but.. doesn’t Shane deserve something?? A chapter??
I love baby Shane and I just wanted a little more of him😭
People are being so mean about TLG!Shane and I just cannot understand that at all. I think the most important thing about their relationship is that The Long Game is ultimately about the external barriers that are keeping both Shane and Ilya in the closet, but even though they're technically both in a similar position (captain of a team, high profile players), their experience is so vastly different.
Like, yeah, Ilya gave up his spot on a successful team and his chances of winning any trophies and his city to be closer to Shane, but he also gets to be part of Shane's family the way he dreamed of when they first come clean with Yuna and David, his new coach prioritises good relationships over discipline, and the Centaurs may suck at hockey but they're also genuinely friendly and they treat Harris as one of them despite his visible queerness. Over the course of that season, it becomes increasingly clear to Ilya that not only is hiding his bisexuality and his relationship with Shane not sustainable, it's not necessary. Two years ago, they couldn't imagine a reality in which making their relationship public wouldn't be catastrophic, but for Ilya, that has changed. He is surrounded by people who love him and who would have his back, and he's watching other people (especially Troy and Harris) have what he wants so desperately, and the idea of waiting for retirement becomes more and more of a prison to him.
Shane, meanwhile, spends the entire book slowly breaking under the pressure he's facing from all sides. Once the season starts, the first thing we learn about Shane's team is that they won the Cup last season, and that their coach casually slings homophobic language around in the locker room, and that Shane realises he barely even registers the background homophobia anymore because he's so used to it. Shane has led the Voyageurs to 3 Cup wins and they keep pushing him harder. He has friends on the team, sure, but he already didn't fit in because he's quiet, boring, doesn't really drink, and being out just added another layer to that. The Voyageurs only value him as one of the best players in the league and it's fine that he's gay only as long as he keeps scoring. He's rapidly developing an eating disorder because he is terrified of not performing at peak capacity, because he is trying to exert control over everything he possibly can to protect himself and his partner. He can't imagine a life where he isn't playing hockey, and he can't imagine a life where he gets to be in a public relationship with Ilya Rozanov and also gets to play hockey. In his mind, this is the best they can have until at the very least Ilya's citizenship is secure and that is the status quo he trying to protect, because in his eyes, the status quo is constantly under threat. From his perspective, the question isn't this or more, it's this or less.
That's why he's so against telling more people and why he can barely handle being in public with Ilya. He's convinced that a single toe out of line is going to be punished, because in many aspects of his life (as a gay man, as a non-white superstar in a very white sport, as a neurodivergent person in a neurotypical environment) that is exactly what happens. His realisation that hiding has negative consequences he can't live with is the push he needs to start being an active participant in his life rather than a good, obedient cog in a machine designed to hold him down.
ebook cover version of this cheeky little number, because once it occurred to me, I sort of couldn't resist
shout out to the wonderful garnetsyrup, who did the original (far superior) cover art for dwd, and chaosandcodices, who produced multiple gorgeous illustrations within (I wanted to credit them on the cover itself but frankly these are dimensions I do not vibe with and it was a struggle enough to fit in the title)
Instead of sharing pics of all the WIPs I started in 2025, in various stages of completion, I've actually been on a bit of a hyper focus so am...finishing some of them?? (That can't be right.)
ANYWAY
Here is a piece I started all the way back in April, for the chief tormentor of my heart through sheer agonising tenderness, GingerBaggins! Death With Dignity was one of my favourite fics of 2025, and you must indeed read it if you have not already done so. I'll wait.
There are many beautiful moments, but I chose, first and foremost, to commemorate the scene in which Draco Malfoy--you know, the Malfoy heir? Pure of blood, black of clothes, white of hair, turgid of member--meets our dear close personal friend Hermione Granger (and, unknowingly, Theo Nott, spectral anomaly and audiobook fan) in a central London Pret a Manger at 7am. Don't think things ever got quite that bleak in canon, so be warned.
(If you think Pret is harrowing, they also end up in Milton fucking Keynes at one point! And if you're now, understandably, wondering whether or not they put the "fucking" in "Milton fucking Keynes" then you shall have to read the fic! A lady never tells!)
Ever since April 2025, I have had to think at least once a month about how this iteration of Draco Malfoy is definitely aware of the existence of the cursed Pret protein pot (the one that's just hard boiled eggs and spinach leaves and despair), and sit uncomfortably with the speculation that he might not be even appropriately repulsed by it! This is because, according to my research, tall strong boys must apparently, from time to time, consider their food through the mysterious and esoteric lens of "the gains." They are oft thinking of their one true love, the gains, and therefore unable to reflect meaningfully on whether the pot of eggs and shame they are eating should even be allowed to exist. I am but a weak and feeble soul, a stranger to the gains, who literally has a mouth full of biscuit as she types, so I cannot relate to any of this, but I do try to be understanding, especially where hot people are concerned
(Note to self: must I start a poll to gauge where the community stands on the issue of whether or not Draco would eat one of the protein pots? Feels kind of important.)
Here is 7am Pret (Draco's Version) and by that I mean Theo ain't even there oh no where is he
Anyway let's all admire the background I did because I never do them (and this in, in fact, the only thing I HAD done back in April: just a completed painting of a fucking Pret, sans people, not even a couple of Dramione stick figures to play in it--I guess I made accidental Pret fan-art?), and because I then decided to stand our bloody main characters in front of some of the best shelfy bits
It is not lost on me that I could have perhaps planned the drawing ahead of time, in order to avoid this, but you must remember that I am simply not a smart woman and my brain lacks protein
Fun fact: the woman on the left is, in fact, holding the protein pot because she loves the gains and hates having the respect of others
I'm so sorry to anyone who is fine with the protein pot and could even conceive of purchasing and consuming one. This is, of course, all in jest, and not a judgment on the eating habits of others, which are not my business. Definitely do not come to me trying to defend the protein pot, because I don't care and also you'll be outing yourself as a protein pot apologist and I shall be forced to block you
Finally, here is the secret first colour version of Dramione I did, which I soundly rejected because I did not care for it at all--partly because I desperately wanted to redraw their faces, but mainly because I was using v different brushes than I did for the accidental Pret fan art background so it all looked a bit discordant. And ugly.
genuinely one of the worst things that’s happened to television in the last few years (exacerbated by streaming services) is death of Filler. going from 20 episodes to 8 because “we didn’t really need that episode where the main characters went to the beach right? it had no long lasting effect” but we DID!!! we needed to see how they act without the Big Bad Plot and to establish the dynamics between the characters and lay in the sun (do they forget sunscreen? how do they react to a thieving seagull? do they get buried in the sand or do they do the burying?). the plot isn’t everything. the action doesn’t hit as hard without the quiet moments. give us character development and our little scenes back
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