every time i jump my dick hits me in the face & i die

@theartofmadeline
occasionally subtle
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Misplaced Lens Cap

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Three Goblin Art
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

titsay
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
will byers stan first human second
DEAR READER
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

JVL

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
noise dept.
Not today Justin

tannertan36

Janaina Medeiros
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@bindlepunk
every time i jump my dick hits me in the face & i die
newborn babies when theyre hungry and their mom isnt in the room and they think she stopped existing bc no object permanence
i understand the inherent sexiness of putting yourself into mortal danger but please stop prancing into faerie rings and offering your true name to any passing pixie who happens to be there in hopes of escaping the cruel grip of capitalism
Howl isn’t sexy because of any superficial reasons he’s sexy because he dodged the draft
List of the Hell’s (de-)motivational posters:
PLEASE do not LICK THE WALLS
This office has gone 0 11 2 days without anyone saying “The Road to Hell is Paved With Good Intensions″
Clean up after youself, your mother doesn’t work here. YOU DON’T HAVE A MOTHER
WE HATE YOU
The Devil Finds WORK FOR IDLE HANDS TO DO - so LOOK BUSY!
TO AVOID INJURY don’t tell me how to do my bloody job!
For More Efficient Service just rip out your own throat with a stapler
GIVE UP NOW
CHEER UP! REMEMBER – The Worst IS yet to come.
You DON’T MATTER
In Case of Fire, Send grateful memo to the Department of Infernal Flame
To illustrate the torture existing in Hell, Neil Gaiman created motivational posters for the walls. ‘I had too much fun with these,’ he says. ‘The hardest part was just persuading the art department that I was serious about getting them to forget everything they had ever learned about design.’ - Good Omens Companion
One of the oddest things was in Hell. I wrote a number of de-motivational posters for the walls of Hell. And the art department couldn’t get them ugly enough. Eventually, the production designer, the amazing Michael Ralph did possibly the most sensible thing that he could have ever done, which was to ask the youngest art department intern to do them and tell him that we encourage the use of lots of different fonts, and Comic Sans wherever possible. And we got these very badly designed posters, and they were exactly what we wanted. - Neil Gaiman (x)
Some lucky millennial got to live out the “graphic design is my passion” meme on a major tv production and more power to them
Gokushufudo: The Way of the House Husband PV → Tsuda Kenjiro as Immortal Tatsu
Icelandic Phallological Museum
hi this is sending me
Anushka Shetty and Prabhas in Baahubali: The Conclusion (2017)
This is everything
This is quintessential Battle Couple™ and I am 110% here for it.
While you were busy studying bow and arrow, I was also studying bow and arrow, love you babe
some guy at the mens bathroom was like oi whatre you doin here and i was like wym im not a girl and he was like aw fuck sorry you just got beautiful features and fist bumped me
this is so iconic we stan whoever this man was
I’m grateful to him.
Watch: John Cena continues, “So, let’s try this one more time. Close your eyes.”
King
Worth noting that he protested loudly against the WWE doing a show in Saudi Arabia after the assassination of Jamal Khashoggi, and the company retaliated by making sure he hasn’t been on TV or PPV since. Not fired, of course, so they can keep selling merchandise with his face on it (and keep him from joining the competition), just out of the public eye so he and his protests gets forgotten by the fans.
Picture that: an ubiquitous celeb and household name like John Cena basically got black bagged and vanished for speaking up for human rights. That’s the power of capitalism, kids
So fucked up that the girl who raised over $100k for the australian bushfires by selling nudes got disowned by her family and basically ostracized for single handedly making a huge impact to save the environment. People act like sex work is inherently linked to immorality but when a beautiful woman wants to use her agency and sexuality as an objective force for good she is totally demonized and has her life ruined. She is a pillar of morality and she deserves her name in the history books as a conservation hero!
this is the text of good fortune, reblog in 60 seconds and $1200 will spontaneously materialize in your bank account🙏🙌💪🏻😤
kids baking championship is extremely, very relatable
new copypasta
this is me. a reylo. who is apparently not welcome in the star wars community EVER because of who i ship. going to go have a cry now. i’m so done with this stupid fucking franchise.