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@ohgodshesloose
A coworker's child stopped them a morning before work this week to give them a small rock. Saying, "This is my best friend and he wants to go with you to work." At work she and I got talking and she stopped and said, "I don't know why, I feel like you need a best friend." And gave me the rock her son gave her.
This rock now travels with me in my pocket until it tells me to give him to someone else.
This is animism at its finest. Receiving awakened rocks from children that spoke them into being
If anyone would like to read a thorough take down of Sparta as a state not worth emulating, then ive got just the series of articles for you!
Reblogging because pissing on Sparta is one of my hobbies. And yes, totally check out the link above. Brett has a lot of great discussion and scholarship on why Sparta was proto-fascist garbage, and he presents it with both snark and accessibility.
I've been watching Hellboy movies and comics recently.
I canāt believe that for so many years I missed out on such a perfect demon characterā¦ But now Iāve gotten to know him and I'm so much love him.
only 62 more frogs until we hit 8,000 species described. the moment we've all been waiting for
there are an average of about 150 new amphibian species described per year so I remain hopeful that 2026 will be the year of 8,000 frogs
I do love that somebody tagged tumblr's own frog scientist on this post. chop chop dr scherz, we've got 62 more frogs to discover and you're the only frog scientist any of us knows
@markscherz just in case you missed any of the previous ones. Do we need to send you back to Madacascar or should we start a fundraiser for somewhere different? XD
And if you need names, remember that a frog named after me is genuinely one of my life's goals...
āØ Unicorn āØ
Cat Girl Roommate <3
āSo Iām hearing what youāre saying, itās just that what youāre saying sounds a lot like domestic terrorism.ā
āSo was Star Wars!ā
Oni Orcs Pro Skater
Update! Luigi's Attorney Dickey confirms that his "outburst" where he tells the cameras that this is unjust, was because he was never read his miranda rights and was under the impression at that time that he was being denied the right to a fair trial, an attorney, or any legal representation.
He is angry and terrified in that footage because they have failed to follow basic procedure to inform him that he has any rights at all. This is a major red flag of police corruption. This is UNACCEPTABLE and further means any interrogation they did of him is unlawful, and inadmissible in court.
God I hope this is true because that alone can get this entire case thrown out. I hope the judge laughs the entire prosecution out of the court.
Judge: let me get this straight. You didn't DNA test him because New York sidewalk is too contaminated, didn't fingerprint him because you don't have usable fingerprints at the scene, you have no way of knowing he's even the right guy, no one can identify that it's him in the footage, even fbi facial recognition software can't recognize him as the cctv suspect, AND you interrogated him under duress, and that's the ONLY thing you have on him? The thing that's defacto null and void because none of you can follow even basic procedure?
Like to charge, reblog to cast.
Get that innocent man out of prison.
Customer Service Wolf.
That wolf embodies the thoughts of most in customer service
The amount of times Iāve thought āI would love to bite through this personās throatā while working in retail is probably too high even when my intrusive thoughts kind of suggest that normally.
Retail doesnāt exactly heal people.
Comics by Anne Barnetson, the book Customer Service Wolf, is no longer available (though I have a copy woo!) but you can see the full range of comics here!
@lisxdumbr excuse me as I borrow your tag for a moment, cause we're onto something.
Rent-lowering gunshots aside, I think this highlights a pretty fundamental quality to tumblr memes, which is they're meant to be fun, not funny.
Most Goncharov content aren't funny. They don't make you laugh as an audience. In fact, there's some serious and awe inspiring quality fanarts, music, fanfics, and analysis on a non-existing flim. It's not about making the funniest joke, it's about having fun making the joke.
Tumblr memes aren't meant to entertain a passive audience. The entertainment value is in the participation. And this quality is present in a lot of long-form tumblr memes. Colour theory, urban gothic (short lived but glorious), hawkeye initiative (short lived but glorious), making shitpost arguments into shakespeare, @theshitpostcalligrapher (excuse the tag) and other shitpost calligraphy. A lot of these memes are about taking silly things seriously. And even passively reblogging these memes are about participation. "I can take this seriously too." Or, in Goncharov's case, "yeah I'll help collectively gaslight the internet".
Another big part about sharing it isn't about how funny the joke is, but how impress you are with the effort. As an audience you can feel the love artists/musicians/writers put into their Goncharov fanwork, and can't help but have respect.
This same logic goes for how coffeeshop fics are fun to write, but they aren't funny. The charm for the reader is that someone loved these characters as much as you did.
In contrast, when you look at viral tweets, they're often one-shots. They're very funny and witty but you don't tend to get the same degree of repetition and variations. Because twitter is built for consumption and snappier participation, and the increasingly algorithm-driven navigation makes content more competitive, which means quality lies in individual tweets, and not in the whole phenomenon.
tldr; Tumblr memes/jokes are about how fun they are to make/share. Twitter jokes are about how fun they are to consume.
peer reviewing these tags
It was fun to dig up some Silver Age comic panels and to re-edit to be about Goncharov and felt like I was adding to the experience by doing something a bit different with it while still being part of the gag. The shared community experience vs. "LOL funny"
This is why art is important, in case you were wondering.
And kids will be so productive if you make it a game. I bet at least 50% of the kids who met this sculpture went and intentionally hunted for litter to feed it.
A HEROIC CREACHUR
there's one post that was going around during the shutdown that was something like "all zombie/pandemic doomsday media from here on out is going to have to have a scene where a bunch of people are running towards the infected while claiming the disease is a hoax"
and atm i'm really feeling like. well, now we have a really clear answer to the question of "why would anyone in a fantasy world worship a god of evil and torture and murder who backstabs everyone who allies with them?" and the answer is one of: 'because they think they're too special to be backstabbed,' or 'because they think their evil god will just torture and murder The Nonbelievers,' or 'because they think they can reap the rewards of worship before the torture sets in'
or, finally, 'they were raised to believe evil and torture was a good thing and they didn't see any problem with it until the evil and torture inconvenienced them personally'
Cheeroonear
"MythicMay: Cheeroonear" Ā© deviantArt user ShadeofShinon, accessed at her art gallery here
[I am putting a bit of faith into the cheeroonear being an authentic Australian aboriginal monster. The only primary source I can find for it is W. Ramsey Smith's Myths and Legends of the Australian Aboriginals, which does not attribute its stories to particular groups of people. So it might be a creation of the author, or it might be legit. In that book, it's said that an unprecedented peace among animals and people were interrupted by Cheeroonear's arrival, which inspired my take on them as profligate hunters.]
Cheeroonear CR 6 NE Monstrous Humanoid This giant creature is roughly humanoid, with arms so long they drag on the ground. It has a dog-like face, and a pouch like a pelicanās hangs from its throat.
Cheeroonears are large humanoids with an outsized appetite and an outsized impact on their environments. They do not hate animals, but instead see them solely as tools or resources without caring about their lives, and view smaller humanoids with a similar callousness. They do not draw distinction between animal and human meat, and will eat whichever is easier to come by. Most druids view cheeroonears as a menace, as they disrupt ecosystems by hunting vulnerable species and set fires to smoke out prey.
Most cheeroonears hunt with animals as companionsādogs are just about the only animal they have any fondness for. The dogs are used to flush out and harry prey while the cheeroonear attacks with its incredible reach. If enemies have animal companions or mounts, the cheeroonear attacks them at a higher priority. The throat pouch of a cheeroonear is big enough to allow them to swallow man-sized prey whole, but they rarely do so unless it is unarmed or already unconscious. Cheeroonears value their lives, and are more likely to flee or surrender than they are to fight to the death.
Cheeroonears typically live in mated pairs or small families. They are nomadic hunters, but do supplement their diet with roots, berries and other plant matterāusually harvested in an unsustainable way. They are happy to raid the livestock of other people if thatās more convenient than hunting wild game, but view attacks on their own dogs as a violation to be avenged. Cheeroonears are not by and large religious, but they are superstitious. Many of them hold divination in high regard, and cast lots or consult the stars before making major decisions.
A cheeroonear is about eight feet tall while hunched over in their usual posture, and ten feet when standing straight.
Looking at the art, it looks vaguely hyena like, and that made me think "gnoll". Could this be what happens when a gnoll goes off the deep end, combining an obsession with hunting with an obsession with eating?
Monster Spotlight: Gancanagh
CR 4
Chaotic Good Medium Outsider
Bestiary 5, pg. 38
These graceful, fey-like entities are one of many breeds of Azata, the celestial natives of Elysium, and like their brethren they exist to spread hope, bring cheer, and fight Evil wherever it may arise. Like many of their kin, this involves using their at-will Change Shape to assume the form of any number of Small or Medium Humanoids, masquerading as the mundane so that they may better catch villains off-guard, or perhaps offer unseen assistance to actual mortals without revealing their true nature... though UNlike most azata, a Gancanagh (which I'll refer to as Gans or Gancans from here on out) looks effectively like a normal--albeit incredibly beautiful--human or half-elf when out of disguise, so their Change Shape is less for hiding and more for meeting the standards and preferences of their potential partners.
Gans embody all that is Good about free love, sexuality, and experimenting with one's self, and as such they are filled with righteous passion... and an irrepressible drive to flirt with just about anyone and everyone they meet. They're incredibly adept sweet-talkers who, unlike the fiendish succubi and incubi (whom they despise with incredible intensity), mean everything they say. Gans can and will hone in on the best qualities of their current targets via casual conversation, with the intention of inspiring a brief but meaningful romance, pulling people into whirlwinds of passion before breaking away and seeking new love. Rather than leaving a trail of broken hearts in their wake, Gans work tirelessly to assure their partners know that the meetings are temporary but meaningful nonetheless, encouraging them to use their experiences and experiments with the spirits to seek out true, lasting love in whatever form it may be... and sometimes, this means these alluring azata play matchmaker with everyone they bed, introducing them to one another if they think something can bloom between them.
And the thing is? They're rarely ever wrong. Guided by higher forces of passion and emotion, Gans have a knack for saying the right things to the right people... provided they aren't sauced due to their devotion to certain OTHER higher forces. Yes, Gancans are quite the party animals, frequently getting deep in their cups and encouraging others to do the same, if only to join them on the dance floor later without fear of how they look. If you can't dance without music, don't worry, as they can provide via their +13 to Perform (Wind Instruments), always carrying fanciful flutes to break out at a moment's notice to provide mood music.
Gans seem to have an oral fixation (FURTHER JOKES WITHHELD), not only preferring wind instruments, but carrying around elaborate smoking pipes and alluring tobacco blends... which typically sit unused at the Outsider's hip, are held unlit between their teeth, or get offered to other people as bribes, because a Gans' lungs are extremely Vulnerable to Smoke. This vulnerability causes the azata to take a -4 penalty against any gas-based effect, and assures that a single puff from their pipes or any other smoking paraphernalia will cause an amusing and potentially charming coughing fit, no matter how mild the blend.
So, three paragraphs devoted to their lore, but what about what happens when they fight? Well, ideally, there won't be fighting. Gancans are--and I'm extrapolating based on presented evidence here, and could be wrong--lovers, not fighters, and have a few tools to dissolve tense situations. They have potent social skills, possessing a +13 to Bluff and a +15 to both Diplomacy and Intimidate, typically enough to prevent some battles from breaking out one way or another, and if those don't work, they can use Charm Person and Suggestion both at-will to temporarily turn foes to friends... or at least keep them from fighting while there's other people still in the room.
Gancans are known to enjoy the occasional spars and wrestling matches, but when facing down foes with rage in their hearts and murder on their mind, they turn into terrifying but graceful forces. Their Grace allows them to add their Dexterity modifier to weapon attacks instead of Str, and while they can only make one attack a round, it's a painful one: 1d6+6 damage, with a crit range of 19-20. They fight exclusively with +1 mithral rapiers, not only allowing them to bypass DR/Silver common amongst fiends, but making them veritable pinatas for anyone that manages to kill or rob one! Good luck, though.
Gancans are protected by 17 AC, eschewing any armor that would prevent people from seeing their bodies and relying only on their Dexterity and natural armor to protect them, though they also have DR 5/Cold iron or Evil to shield themselves from thrown fists and other light weapons. They have 10 Resistance to Cold and Fire and are completely immune to Electricity damage, though that last one's about as unlikely to come up as their immunity to being petrified at the levels one can expect to be fighting one. Once in battle, Gancans also bless themselves and any of their nearby allies with their 1/day Good Hope, making their attacks more accurate and more damaging, while also raising their saving throws from +4/+9/+5 to +6/+11/+7!
Any creature of similar level hoping to slay one of these fierce fey-likes will also have to contend with their 1/day Mirror Image, producing anywhere from 2 to 5 additional targets to soak up whatever attacks are aimed their way. They may only be able to make one attack a round, but at low levels, the same is true for the party, letting the figments absorb entire turns from the martials in the party as the potent and accurate thrusts from the azata's rapiers carve through their HP and willingness to continue fighting.
If you think that only Evil creatures have to worry about fighting one, though, you'd be largely correct; Gans rarely fight to kill against anything but Evil Outsiders, but they're quite hot-headed and can be temperamental when insulted. Many times in history one of them has been driven to cross swords with a potential ally against Evil because that ally insulted the Gan's promiscuity, or one of their past or current partners... and sometimes these become quite serious, especially if the Gan was compared to a fiend that preys upon lust, such as a Succubus or Incubus. This insult is so grave and the fury it inspires in the azata so fierce that they often fight until the offending party is beaten unconscious, rather than just to the point of surrender.
And before we end, let's talk a little more about potent and accurate t[I SAID FURTHER JOKES WITHHELD]. At will, a Gancan can use Invigorating Passion on any willing creature with an act of passion as little as a kiss, gifting that creature a +1 bonus to attack rolls, an extra d10 temporary hitpoints, and the ability to ignore all penalties from being fatigued or exhausted. Not only does this stack with Good Hope, but the Gan can spread the love as much as it feels like... though there is a slight downside in that, at the end of the hour, the blessed target must make a DC 17 Fortitude save or become fatigued (or exhausted). This downside isn't especially impactful if the azata is nearby, as the ability has no per-day limit and no 24 hour immunity, so another round of Invigorating Passion can alleviate its own downside until the target finally lays down to rest for the day. ... and, yes, I know what you're thinking: this does indeed also cover any fatigue and exhaustion accrued during an extended night's stay with one of these legendary lovers.
You can read more about them here.
The gancanagh is one of my least favorite of Pathfinder's folkloric conversions. Why? Because it explicitly and intentionally misses the point of the original. The original gancanagh (which translates to Love Talker) seduces women to death. They're basically the male equivalent of leanan sidhe, causing people to become obsessed with them, waste away and die. Their signature ability, invigorating passion, is exactly the opposite of that. I assume that that's part of what the animosity with incubi and succubi is about, is implying that various sexual demons pose as gancanaghs and that's where the bad stories come from. But I always hate the "the people who originally told this story were wrong" philosophy of monster design. I hate it when cryptozoologists apply it to Bigfootize anything remotely humanoid, and I hate it when the name of a misogynist killer is given to a capital G Good creature.
Besides which. There's a perfectly good mythological creature that is a mostly benevolent celestial being associated with love and sex and music. The gandharva of Hindu and Buddhist traditions. If I were to ever use these stats in a game, I'd call them a gandharva instead.
I imagine they saw the gancanagh and sighed in annoyance "Aw man, ANOTHER seducer-killer creature?" and started thinking up the foundation of a good-aligned opposite of the trope just to do something different. I can sympathize, but yeah, don't just take the name of a critter and slap it onto something completely different. This is how the oread issue got started.
Ittan-Momen
Image by Shigeru Mizuki
[In looking up this entry from my original posting, I discovered that Iād been accidentally referring to legendary yokaiologist and manga-ka Shigeru Mizuki as ā Migeru Shizukiā. Whoops.
Incidentally, this is the second cloth monster posted in a week, of a different type than the first. Iāve also got one kicking around my hard drive as an elemental, believe it or not.]
Ittan-Momen Writhing through the air like an immense serpent, this length of cloth bears a leering impression of a human face at its end.
Ittan-momen are among the most dangerous of the tsukumogami, for they approach humanoids with malice rather than mischief. Created from bolts of fabric that remained unused due to tragedy and loss, ittan-momen take their bitterness on the world out on randomly selected victims. Although most ittan-momen lurk in the ruins of abandoned houses and shops, they will leave their haunts in order to fly through the streets in order to prey on passers-by. Ittan-momen do not cooperate with each other, but tailor shops or mansions may be host to a number of these murderous entities.
In combat, ittan-momen use their mobility and flight to harass and debilitate their opponents. Ittan-momen are so long and flexible that they can strangle and constrict one foe while simultaneously lashing out at potential rescuers. An ittan-momen measures thirty feet long and weighs about half a ton.
Variant Ittan-momen Most ittan-momen are made from bolts of linen cloth, but some fabrics grant their ittan-momen additional abilities. Silken ittan-momen have the advanced simple template, lose their fire vulnerability and fly with good maneuverability. Wool ittan-momen fly with poor maneuverability, but creatures constricted by a woolen ittan-momen must succeed on a DC 17 Fortitude save or be sickened for 1 minute by itching.
Keep reading
What happens if someone blasts it with a Decanter of Endless Water or something and it gets waterlogged?
a wandering knight, drawn to the quiet of the forest. her touch may be a blessing or a curse.
