Haven't smiled this much in a long, long time.
Started the day anxious and disappointed in myself. I'd waited 18 years to see this man live, and I was finally doing it. Only thing that kept me from enjoying the process was me. The makeup wasn't good enough. The outfit I had planned was too revealing. I only gave myself an hour to get ready. I left the house feeling defeated. The few things I could control about this day were out the window.
Get to the venue. I'm in line 2.5 hours before doors open. The opening act walks out the front of the building to grab boba from down the street and I ask for a photo.
I befriend a couple, a girl a few years younger than me and her boyfriend. They have 4 cats like I do. We immediately hit it off. (N&D)
Opening act comes out again and crosses the street to get starbucks. As he walks back into the building, he passes me and smiles, his eyebrows raising. Once he's in the building (D) looks over at me and says "I saw that eyebrow raise! He's hitting on you!" It meant more coming from a guy. He'd understand more than I would I suppose.
20 or so minutes later, opener comes outside a g a i n . This time he starts walking in the opposite direction of me but soon turns and says to me "are you the person who got a picture earlier?" I reply yes. He hands me a merchandise t-shirt of his. It's in the perfect size, no tags, and smells strongly of cologne. Good cologne. I thank him and he walks off. I look over at my new friends and we all feel a little giddy about the whole thing.
It could've been something he did to be nice. I wasn't the only one who asked for photos, but the other's who HAD had been let into the venue early for VIP ventures. It could've been for a different girl. But now that I think about it, when he came out for starbucks I believe the VIP line had already been outside.
Regardless, I'm aware that it could've been something he did to be kind. But something about it felt cute. He just brought me a free t-shirt smelling like him. It's a strong scent, something I didn't notice on him when I took the photo with him. Someone definitely sprayed it.
I don't know. I felt special.
I was told to try to get his attention again, ask for his number, and other things of the sort. I didn't want to be a bother. Or just come off as plain weird.
Went inside finally and found out I was able to participate in "standing room" areas. Up until this point I had been under the assumption that my ticket secured me a seat in the back of the theater. The VIPs and those who purchased meet and greet tickets were supposed to be the only ones with access to the "pit" area. Turns out it just meant they'd be first to get to the barricade. However I, and my new friends, managed to get front row/second row spots, depending on the movement of the crowd.
Because of my new friends, I was able to use the bathroom with (N), something I'd been very nervous about having the opportunity to do seeing as I'd be attending the concert alone. He held my things for me. That was very nice. I had people I could trust which was rare enough. And for it to be people I'd just met...
I asked (N) to go get the shirt Opener had given me from (D) so I could put it on before he went on stage.
(N) and I got back to the standing area and quickly met another girl, (A). She was a year or so older than me. She's from out of state. We both graduated with the same degree and have very similar career goals. Incredible.
The 4 of us stick together. I spilled some celebrity drama I probably shouldn't have.
(A) and I practically shared the front row spot. We both left enough room between us and the barricade so that we had a window we could share a front row view from. (N) was also next to me, sharing this spot as well, (D) right next to her.
The show was great. Opener blew me away with his vocals, JM was an awesome performer. I didn't have any expectations of him going into it. I'd just wanted to see him for so long, I'd been a fan since I was 6. He could've sat on the stage in silence and I still would've been happy to see him.
Concerts are so much more fun when you have friends to share it with.
And then he mentioned my man. My favorite artist in the world. One of the most talented man I've ever heard of. MY musician of choice. All my friends looked over at me and I just about melted. I think I swooned. I don't know if he meant to do an impersonation of this artists, but he sounded just like him for a moment and all I could do was smile. I've been trying to find a clip of him talking about this other artist on youtube but it seems like my concert was the only one he told this little story of the two of them to. A sign? Another relief. More euphoria.
I left the venue after saying goodbye to (N&D) and having a decent conversation with (A) about life, my legs feeling like jelly from standing for 7 hours and my feet aching like hell from my poor choice of footwear.
All the pain I felt tonight, all the anxiety leading up to it, the stresses of getting ready physically and emotionally, all of it was worth it for what I experienced tonight. Friendship. Acceptance. Relief. Live music. Fulfillment of a life-long dream. Acknowledgement. It was all so, so worth it.
Got home feeling giddy and high. Removed the shirt from Opener and hung it up in my closet. It's been 2 hours and I still haven't removed my makeup or changed out of my jeans. I'm afraid that when I do this will all be over.
As I write this, I turn to look over my shoulder and I still smell of Opener. And I smile.
