he feels he is not without sin

icon by yuker

[bipolbur]

my name is cyrus, i'm 25, i use he/it/rot/heart pronouns. please dont follow unless we're mutuals on main i might let you stay if youre pure of heart though

[bipolbur]

DID HE BRING FUCKING FLEAS I WILL ACTUALLY KILL MYSELF IF WE HAVE FLEAS

[calebwittebane]

you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for an amazing reason

[jbt7493]

has anyone noticed that sometimes you take incorrect or undesirable actions instead of the correct and desirable ones? what's up with that

[bipolbur]

got some potentially really really good news but i wont know for sure until monday or tuesday and im just sitting here shaking bc im like FUUUCK I NEED TO KNOW

[bipolbur]

had a crazy fucking dream about succession where all of them were basically doing this conference to prove that shiv kendall and roman's mom (who looked and sounded completely different btw) was a bad person and one of the things that got brought up was how she had sexually abused kendall but she refused to admit it like to the point where she tried to fake that she was in love with roman/spent her whole life trying to groom him and it was one of those things where she had been creepy toward roman but she never molested him like she had kendall and while roman did genuinely have instances of being made uncomfortable by his mom and scared of her he felt like she was trying to use that to completely overshadow what she had done to kendall so he lied and was like "that didnt happen but i know for a fact you molested kendall because i saw it" and then i woke up i guess

[fuckedelf]

I think I’m missin sum vital organs or some shitt

[bipolbur]

i hate thinking about larp bro. stupidest trigger ever and it's the big word rn

[bipolbur]

it kind of is really interesting how that shit works bc when it happened i didnt realize how awful and scared i felt but the next mornng i had an "out of the blue" panic attack that i couldnt explain to anyone and i genuinely didnt understand and it wasnt until much later, even after i realized how upset and scared i was by that situation and was able to verbalize it, that the panic attack was connected at all. literal years later that i was like "OHHH that weird panic attack wasnt random or bc i was being a lazy freak not wanting to clean up at the end of larp at all. i was literally just scared and my body was maydaying even when my mind could not"

[bipolbur]

i hate thinking about larp bro. stupidest trigger ever and it's the big word rn

[bipolbur]

it's so funny thinking back to my childhood bc i was literally having delusions from like the age of 5 but bc i was so young it was "oh his overactive imagination haha" i thought people were outside my window planning on killing me bro 😭😭

[bipolbur]

it is kind of funny the first time i watched hannibal i did it in a dissociative daze and the subject matter caused an episode where i thought i was dying but i honestly didnt realize why until this last time i watched it LMAO

[bipolbur]

i had literally one day so full of hope and promise and every other day the past few weeks im down and sad and exhausted can everything just be nice

[limbel]

NEVER HEAL indulge in self sabotage romaniticize self isolation ALWAYS QUIT reject your potential never break the cycle let the curse win

[bipolbur]

literally can trace my ruin back to 9th grade.

[funstyle]

the number one rule of being an adult is Dont Think About Anything That Happened In 9th Grade

[2colde]

i love leaning into a bad feeling #mytwistingknife

[bipolbur]

think i need to start working on original stories except that's haaaaaard. but im literally not writing otherwise and i miss writing. need to focus really hard on one set of my original characters today so i can trick my brain into becoming obsessed with it again but which to choose...