KLAUS ( 2019 ) dialogue prompts from the animated film klaus. change as necessary !
letters. you donât really write many these days, do you?
no one seems to wonder how the whole thing got started in the first place.
stop. donât tell me. let me try to guess. i give up. who are you?
can i get you something to drink? an espresso? a cappuccino?
arenât you supposed to be in equestrian training?
ah, well, i was expecting this a little bit sooner, but, yup, summoned to the dragonâs lair.
iâm gonna take one last look around the old place so i can forget it. mmm-hmm. got it. all right, letâs go.
actually, nine months and six days, but whoâs counting?
hey, we gave it the old college try, didnât we?
youâre right. when will i grow up? when will i stop squandering all these opportunities, which you so kindly forced me into?
i guess i must really hanker down and rethink my priorities.
you think iâm just going to watch you purposely fail and then let you waltz right back to a privileged life void of any purpose or meaning?
you canât cheat, bribe or squirm your way out of this one.
do you know how long it took to press this uniform? i donât either, but it took somebody hours.
say, nice boat! any chance you might actually get on it today?
is the weather always like this?
where is everyone?
i thought there would be some sort of a reception.
quick! get me out of here!
look whoâs finally throwing in the towel!
admit it! you weaseled out!
donât you dare raise your voice at me!
this is no way to treat a person! certainly not this person!
all right. you donât know who i am, so iâm gonna let this one slide.
whoeverâs there, i warn you, you do not want to mess with me.
uniform, cold sweat, scared stiff, shaking in your boots. all right, iâm gonna just take a wild guess here. you are ( . . . )
what kind of a town has a battle bell?
welcome to ( . . . ), home of the worldâs finest feuds.
holy moly! thatâs you? what happened?
thatâs⊠that came out wrong.
come on, sport! i saved the best for last!
oh, yeah? well, if iâm a loser, then youâre a, uh⊠youâre too far. youâre gone.
thatâs it! this place is the worst! iâm going home!
no! you canât leave, remember?
but i hate it here! itâs so cold and icky! and the people are mean to me.
shut up! stop being weak!
focus! how do you get out of here?
you just toss a penny over to me so i can stamp it, and weâre all ready to go.
itâs not a letter if it doesnât have postage.
heâs lying. children are liars.
is this a bad time? i can see youâre pretty swamped.
donât you have⊠a job or something?
great. iâm gonna kill that boatman.
please donât chop me up and scatter my parts in the woods!
i mean, first of all, iâd love to, of course, but, look, too bad about the fence.
okay, you win. what do you want? money? my dadâs got plenty of it.
oh, wow. that is⊠totally normal. not a symptom of any mental illness or anything.
what, âsame timeâ? you mean, dead of night?
centuries of glorious hatred, passed down through generations!
i mean⊠forgive me, iâm kind of a dreamer
isnât that why we do it? so you could make a difference?
young love. takes me back, you know? the intense looks, the palpitation of the heart.
no one has ever seen him. itâs like heâs invisible or something.
donât forget to leave out some cookies.
not a word. you just sit there, be all magical and awesome.
okay, letâs make a deal. if i teach you something, will you get out of here? please?
how would he know what iâm up to unless you ratted on me?
he sees everything, you know.
did you know that arson is down 70%? itâs true. whenâs the last time you saw a house burn down?
cookouts, swap meets, and, uh⊠yeah, i donât know. itâs like everyoneâs gone mad or something.
a true selfless act always sparks another.
well, look whoâs suddenly a chatterbox.
iâve been around long enough to know that everyone is out to get something.
i donât know what theyâre after, but it sure is not goodwill and peace on earth.
what about you? whatâs in it for you?
i canât believe this! what are you doing at our ambush?
your ambush? this is our ambush!
can you please get off my porch? youâre trespassing.
iâm saying itâs time to join forces against a common enemy. iâm saying we need a truce.
a truce? have you gone mad?
come on! work with me here. picture the possibilities.
what am i supposed to do? stay in this little town forever and never want anything more?
sorry to bother you this late, but, by any chance, would you happen to understand⊠this?
what? whatâre you talking about? are you talking about me?
i remember the day i first had that very same smile on my face.
what smile? i wasnât smiling. i was squinting. from the sun.
how did you pay for this? your savings?
someone would have to be pretty stupid to want to leave this place now. donât you think?
oh, wow. you have no idea what youâve done, do you?
they insisted, and i didnât want to be rude.
letâs talk outside. itâs a little cramped in here.
iâm sure itâs nothing that could fester and eventually become a source of resentment and regret.
really? youâre gonna go for the guilt trip now?
what do you care? i thought you were leaving.
letâs continue discussing what a horrible person i am while i most likely break my neck trying to save ( . . . ) why donât we?
weâre dead! weâre dead! weâre dead!
iâm still proud of you, you hear me?
this town was built on resentment and spite.
i think you hit your head pretty hard, dear. you should lie back down.
but then you showed up and made it complicated. as usual.
any chance for a hot cup of coffee for your neighborhood ( . . . ) ?
what is on your face?
i stopped trying to make sense of it a long time ago.
