birnensaft cooks

[birnensaftcooks]

My main is @birnensaft. Here I will post what I cook.

I am neurodivergent and struggle with executive disfunction, so these recipes with be on the simpler side. But I know how to cook, so it might take you quite a while longer than the time I needed. I will only descibe the cooking steps briefly and without measurements but if you ever want a more elaborate recipe for something, please ask. All of the recipes will be vegetarian, some will be vegan and all will be tagged accordingly.

[official-lauchzwiebel]

omg i forgot how good pasta with a spinach-lemon-cream sauce is 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[official-lauchzwiebel]

I eyeballed most of it but here's more or less what I did!! :)

Boiled some pasta (I used spaghetti, but I don't think it matters too much) and in the meantime prepared the sauce. If you like, you can keep some pasta water for the sauce.

For two servings of the sauce you will need:

2-3 handfuls of spinach (I used fresh spinach, but frozen should be fine)

A small onion

One large clove of garlic

Double cream (about 75-100ml)

A small organic lemon* (for juice and also zest; you will have some juice left over - you can use that for example when roasting cauliflower or broccoli; the zest freezes beautifully :) )

Salt, pepper, a pinch of nutmeg

Clean and wash the spinach leaves, then dice the onion and crush the garlic clove. Zest the lemon, then squeeze it; take care to only get the actual peel, not the white stuff underneath as it will make the zest taste bitter.

In a pot or pan, roast the onion and garlic in olive oil on medium high heat for a couple of minutes, then add the washed spinach. Reduce the temperature to medium heat and let the ingredients cook until the spinach leaves have reduced their volume by about a half. (You can already put the salt in here.) Add the lemon juice TO TASTE - maybe about the volume of a shot glass? You can always add more later. (Optional: add a bit of pasta water.) Add a pinch of zest. Let it cook for 2-3 minutes - if you want to reduce some of the liquid, let it simmer for a few minutes longer - , then take the pot/pan from the heat and add the double cream. (The exact amount may vary due to the amount of spinach you put in.) Stir, then bring to a short boil. Add your spices: salt and pepper to taste, a sprinkle of nutmeg. Turn down the heat to zero and you're done :)

*you can also only use one half of the lemon (should be enough) and keep the other in the fridge: sprinkle some sugar on a saucer, then put the lemon half on it, cut side on the sugar, facing down. This helps keep it fresh and juicy :)

[clementine-kesh]

my most diabolical idea for a good ol fashioned bad ending voyager au starts from the premise that janeway wanted harry to take over as captain and the borg queen wanted seven to take over as the face of the collective and twists it so that what actually ends up happening is that harry becomes the new borg king (as the unintentional end result of some noble attempt at self-sacrifice) and seven becomes captain of voyager. cue thee craziest friends to sworn enemies with weird familial undertones dynamic ever. they’re warped reflections of each other, standing in the place the other was supposed to be, on opposite trajectories. they can’t bring themselves to kill each other but they also can’t leave each other alone. harry’s like “hey the collective’s actually a pretty great place i could keep voyager safe forever here if you would just let me” and seven’s like “i will unborg your ass if it’s the last thing i do”.

also b’elanna is seven’s first officer and she feels deeply guilty about all of this and tom has either been assimilated (possibly willingly) or is a broken shell of a human being

[clementine-kesh]

tom paris first person ever to be evicted from the collective for “making it weird”

[kleefkruid]

Never had a tiktok and it's not even banned here but I'm kind of tempted to get the red note app to min-max my Chinese ingredient pantry.

[kleefkruid]

Chinese cooking is very doable once you collect everything for a basic pantry, you mainly prep and measure every single thing beforehand (get a ton of tiny bowls) and then you have to chuck in everything in rapid fashion in the right order and cooking time is pretty short compared to prep (which explains chinese fast food tastes so much better than western ones, it's literally made fast instead of pre-made stuff re-heated)

The real and true challenge of Chinese food is not adding fried rice to everything

[kleefkruid]

@breval @cheery-space-lizz

Here's the website, it's by a Chinese woman living in the US (so unfortunately the recepes use cups, please... my measurements...) but besides that it's all very clear, and very important bonus, you can get the recepes both with meat and plant-based versions, so depending who you are cooking for you can just switch it up!

There's a lot of filters including skill level, time, regions of China, and there's an introductory page on how to set up a basic pantry which is what my link send you to.

If you want a starting recepe (after setting up the pantry) I'd reccomend the hot and sour soup bc it gives you a good idea of the prep while making something that wont burn easely lmao. Also it looks really fancy. (and it freezes well too)

[harkthorn]

Pigeon, but with a long neck like a goose

-2837

[jeannetterankin]

@elodieunderglass

[elodieunderglass]

Do you ever get sad about how the products of our imaginations can’t become real, with a little work maybe, just because we want to see where it goes?

On the one hand, you’ll instantly note that we can imagine so much horror, and most people we meet do not possess a framework of overarching belief, let alone a set of firmly held principles. Responsible innovation is something that we, as grownups - as grownups of the species, as grownups of the planet - are called upon to reflect on.

On the other, like. Longneck pigeon, though.

[faustandfurious]

This last week I’ve had the frankly disconcerting experience of being called wise, in complete earnest, by a friend who is the same age as me and has years of university education, a stable job and a life partner with whom they live, in the context of them wanting my opinion on a major life decision they were about to make

[faustandfurious]

I think wisdom only exists in the eye of the beholder, because they aren’t privy to the magnitude of the bad decisions you’ve made throughout your life

[faustandfurious]

Also, there should be a rule against calling anyone under the age of 45 that

[faustandfurious]

You either die a Fëanor or live long enough to see yourself become a Nerdanel

[fiddlepickdouglas]

Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

[orcboxer]

fascinated by the implication that it's the stained glass that gives catholics the guilt

[luthqrs]

I FOUND THE. FISH CAN’T SIN POST.

[glitchtrad]

its a shame ditherpunk never took off

[rainy-days-will-never-end-deact]

What’s that?

[glitchtrad]

pixel art but in 1-bit, i.e. only black or white pixels.  you create shading via dithering, or densities of black pixels vs white pixels, hence “dither punk.”

It’s lo-fi and retro in a very goth way

[neveromininart]

Only slightly related - the GIFs above are all visuals from the video game Return of the Obra Dinn. The game is by the same guy as Papers, Please and is about an insurance investigator trying to uncover the mystery behind the Obra Dinn, a ship that left with a full crew and returned devoid of life and in tatters. The player goes backward and forward through time and uses clues in each scene to fill out a list of crewmates and their various means of death. It’s a very fun game, especially with friends!

[royalhandmaidens]

because i love y’all, i’m sharing my family’s recipe for apple tea (traditional fall/winter drink in west asia, turkey, and many areas of the balkans)

it’s like a more delicate version of apple cider and i basically live off of this stuff when the weather starts to cool!

Apple Tea (for two)

1 large apple or 2 small, shredded (you can use a cheese grater)

3 cups water

1-2 cinnamon sticks

2-3 pc clove (optional)

honey to taste

1 tsp of lemon juice (add at end)

green tea (optional! some versions call for green tea but i actually prefer it without. up to you!)

throw it all in a pot and let it simmer on a low temperature for an hour or so. while it’s simmering, it will also make your home smell delicious! (if you make it with green tea, add the tea at the end, about five minutes before taking it off the heat so the flavor doesn’t become bitter from oversteeping). strain into your cups and enjoy hot.

end result:

[pleasantpastels]

substitutes for honey

maple syrup

date syrup

brown rice syrup

barley malt syrup

coconut nectar

agave nectar

[birnensaftcooks]

One pot tortellini with champignons

why is cooking with mushrooms always so ugly?

Ingredients:

a pack of dried tortellini

a pack of champignons (~500g)

soy granule (idk how much i always fill a muesli bowl halfway)

2 packs of cream

seasoning: i used vegetable broth, msg, a generous teaspoon of mustard, salt, pepper, thyme

Recipe:

put the soy granulate into a bowl and pour boiling water into it until covered (soy granule swims lol)

heat oil in a pot

cut the mushrooms and add to the hot oil

roast them until you could eat them like this

add the soy granule with the water it is in

add the spices

at the cream

add the tortelli

let it cook until the tortellini are ready, stirring from time to time

if there is too little water, add some

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[i-think-this-is-how-i-do]

If anyone made this for me. I can’t even describe what I’d be willing to do for them

[birnensaftcooks]

The recipe from the video:

50 cloves of garlic, cover them in olive oil and bake at 250F, 120°C for 2 hours

take garlic out of the oil

add butter, parsley, chives, salt and mix

cut into a loave of bread and fill it with the butter-garlic mix and mozzarella

bake 20 minutes covered then 10 minutes uncovered at 375 F, 190°C

[birnensaftcooks]

Flammkuchen (Tarte Flambee)

This is one of my favorite recipes for low spoon days where I still want more than ready made pizza. There is only a cutting board, a knife and a spoon to clean at the end.

Ingredients:

ready made dough for tarte flambee (pizza dough would also work but is thicker, as well as any other ready made dough which comes rolled up with baking paper)

crème fraiche, sour cream or similar

1 leek

herbs, salt pepper

Recipe:

put the dough on the baking tray

mix herbs, salt and pepper into the crème fraiche and spread it on the dough

cut the leek and put in on the tarte flambee

put it in the oven for 20 minutes at 200 °C

[Image Id: a piece of tarte flambee]

[what-even-is-thiss]

You guys wanna know my favorite one person overly indulgent breakfast?

[what-even-is-thiss]

Y’all said yes so here’s how you make one man potato skillet. I like this when I’ve got the energy to cook a big breakfast but not to do a lot of dishes.

You need a frying pan. Preferably not nonstick because you’re gonna be eating out of it.

You also need potatoes. Two or three Yukon gold are my favorite but use whatever type or quantity you’ve got lying around.

Cut a whole or half small or medium sized onion into big strings and fry it up in some olive oil in your pan. Use more or less onion if you like.

Cut your potatoes into little coins. They should be pretty small so cut your potato in half if it’s too big. Add some more oil or some butter to the pan and fry the potatoes up to your liking. Should only take a few minutes.

Add spices here. I like just using salt, pepper, and paprika.

Then, make a well in the middle and crack an egg or two into it, quickly sprinkle salt on top, and then drop in a tiny bit of water and put the lid on it to steam the eggs. You wanna watch it and take the lid off just when the whites cover the whole yolk.

Then, sprinkle some cheese on top. I like mozzarella because yum but use whatever you want.

Remove it from the stove and put the lid back on just long enough for the cheese to melt.

Eat it right out of the pan, dipping your potatoes and onions in the egg yolk. Put a potholder under it so you don’t ruin your table. Only dishes you’ve got are the pan and the cutting board. You’re welcome.

[birnensaftcooks]

Potatoes, peas, carrots eggs in creme sauce

[Image ID: a plate with boiled eggs, boiled potatoes and peas and carrots in creme sauce]

Time: About 20 minutes:

Ingredients: leftover potatoes, eggs, a can of peas and carrots, a pack of creme, vegetable broth

Recipe:

boil the eggs

put creme, peas and carrots in a pot

season them with vegetable broth

heat it

[birnensaftcooks]

Onions, Eggs and Potatoes

[Image ID: A plate with cooked potatoes, eggs and fried onions]

Time: it took me about 25 minutes, the potatoes were leftovers though

Ingredients: leftover potatoes, eggs, onions, salt, pepper, paprika

Recipe:

boil the eggs

peel the onions, cut them into rings and fry them in a pan

season the onions with salt, pepper and paprika

i used howevermuch was leftover after taking 2 onions out of a 250g bag, this results in about as much as you can see in the picture. I knew I wouldn't use all of them for other meals before they go off, so I decided to eat them all in one go.