∆

I'm a silly bitch who's currently got 2 alts because I can't Man the fuck up and show people my interests. i'm Also deeply infatuated with a ficcional skeleton. hiiiii :)

[birthdaycandleuponabirthdaycake]

Trying to do a masterpost because Holy shit I reblog too much stuff.

This is a ragged WIP. I don't even know How to pin a post.

#birthdaycandleuponabirthdaycake—art

> art shit. Not well organized.

#birthdaycandleuponabirthdaycake—poemas

In portuguese. Random poems I wrote.

[birthdaycandleuponabirthdaycake]

I really wish there was a form of suicide that felt peaceful. This attempt is already rotten.

[oddtf]

I scrambled to put this together before I forgot, but hear me out:

Gentle, secretive forcemascer Doctor.

The kind that will allow you to say no to the injection and walk away, even if he assures you that it wouldn't hurt, that you wouldn't even feel it. And you don't. You won't notice the bandage on your arm until long after you've left the circus.

You may notice a shift in your behavior, a strange, albeit pleasant change in your libido. Surely it couldn't be pinned on the Doctor? He is someone you trust, after all..

And every day you return to the circus, the changes start to become more obvious. You'd feel taller, stronger, more confident. The Doctor would describe you in that same affectionate sense each time you went in for a check-up.

The Doctor would look you over, taking in every detail of your ever-changing frame with such delight behind his goggles. He'd take note of your growth, in the muscles, in your hair.. And down there too, even if it was a quick, discreet peek.

He'd tell you exactly what was happening: That you were changing hormonally, and that there was no way for you to stop it. At least, he wouldn't allow you to..

His tone made it clear that you were just his test subject, but perhaps that was the appeal.

Perhaps that was why you always kept coming back.

That fatal curiosity from the deepest pit of your heart, the desire to see the end goal of his little experiment.

[otte-ball]

Tₕₑ fᵣₑₐₖ cᵢᵣcᵤₛ ₓ Gₑₙᵤᵢₙₑₗy ᵤₙcₒₘfₒᵣₜₐbₗₑ ! ᵣₑₐdₑᵣ

𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙆𝙚𝙮

CW; occ? Non-con themes(no smut!) Genre: angst(?) Character(s) used: Pierrot, Harlequin, Ticket Taker,

The freak circus is an 18+ game(I know its a visual novels but leave me alone dw) and therefore, this counts as 18+ fanfiction- so;

MDNI

You didn't 'visit' the circus. That word implies choice. You just… never found a way to leave after helping Pierrot that first time. Helping him wasn't just kindness in your mind, it was pity dressed up as decency.

He looked fragile, unsettlingly so, and something in you said that if you walk away, something worse will happen to him. Pierrot interprets your hesitation as gentleness. Your silence as understanding. Your lack of resistance as trust.

But it isnt.

And it never will be.

It’s calculation.

You learn quickly that saying 'no' doesn’t work here. Not because he would punish you outright, he would never!

But because he isnt trustable.

He stalks, he watches, he lurks.

Its better to stay silent.

So you adapt. You nod. You comply.

You minimize yourself. Its safer this way.

He's a monster, compliance is key.

Around Pierrot you keep your voice soft, but your body angled away. You never sit too close unless forced.

When he leans in, you subtly shift just enough to keep space without making it obvious.

He thinks you’re shy.

'How sweet, my dear!' He ponders, looking at you shift away from him, every so subtly. Your just shy. But don't worry! He's here until you warm up..

You’re actually just thinking a way out.

-

Harlequin is worse in a different way.

Too loud.

Too close.

Too interested

He notices everything:

The way your shoulders tense when he oh so ever nears, the way your smile never reaches your eyes(even with Pierrot!), the way you freeze when he circles behind you.

But instead of understanding, he treats it like a game.

Because it IS a game! For him at least.

“Ohhh, you’re nervous! That’s adorable.”

You laugh at his jokes.

Not because it’s funny(when are they ever?) because it’s safer.

Who knows what he can do with those tendrils. Its better to avoid letting history repeat itself.

-

The Ticket Taker watches you like you’re a misplaced object. Not unkind. But not kind either. When you follow instructions without question, he seems… satisfied. Good. You suspect he's the type who’d notice if you tried to leave- so you never test it.

'Like a doll. If only I was able to make them a fool before Pierrot and Harlequin got to them.' Ticket taker would murmured in the depths of his mirrors. Watching you carefully pass through his tent.

Its a good idea to cover your vanity mirror tonight. And the night after.

(can you tell I'm getting lazy🥹)

-

The Doctor unnerves you the most.

Observant, that one.

He notices your distance immediately.

"You’re experiencing sustained stress, patient” he tells you once, like it’s a diagnosis instead of a situation. You nod, you don’t tell him, an 'oh.' Should be fine. He was never that hard to satisfy.

Stay still? Suddenly your a statue,

Take this injection? Well, doctor knows best.

But when asks more about the stress.. he’s part of the reason.

He's one of them.

-

Jester is... tricky.

He treats everything like a joke. Because he knows.

Seeing you squirm under his gaze is entertaining, including your discomfort. Mimics your stiff posture .

Exaggerates your careful steps, laughs when you flinch at his actions. But sometimes -just sometimes- he stops. Watches you. Looks deep into this hesitant eyes of yours. Tilts his head like he’s trying to figure out if you’re playing along… or genuinely afraid. You look away before he decides.

"Your like a puzzle I need to crack, mm? Aren't you, pet?" You just nod, glancing at anything but him.

-

You’ve mastered the art of un-provocative presence. Perfect.

Agree, but not enthusiastically , smile, but not brightly , stay, but never settle You don’t bond with them, not emotionally.

You survive around them.

Pierrot, meanwhile, believes that you chose to stay, you understand him.

You’re just… delicate. Something to treat with care, something to love throughly.

When you pull away, he doesn’t see fear.. He sees something to be patient with.

And that’s what traps you the most.

Not cruelty.

Not force.

But the fact that none of them fully realize you were never comfortable. You were just too scared to do anything else.

Nights are the hardest. When things go quiet, your mind gets loud.

Why am I still here? Why didn't leave earlier? Why did I bother to help? Why did i... ..

it doesn't matter anymore. Your just...

Sweet.

Adorable.

Doll.

Patient.

Pet.

At least your not on their bad side... right?

.

.

.

You feel axious tonight, maybe it would be good to buy a few extra locks. The intuition alone is enough to have you on your toes.

A/n; is it obvious I've been reading ALOT of non-con for this? I wrote this is in one night LETS GO

Creds to @enchanthings for banners

Masterlist

[drychrys]

a silly sketch of the Doctor :D

🇧🇷 Um desenhinho besta do Doutor, desculpem a péssima qualidade

[birthdaycandleuponabirthdaycake]

Passarin Supremacy>>>>>

[obscuara]

[001] It took me almost a week to finish this Rengoku-themed doodle page. Taking a few minutes out of most days to draw him eased me into using paper, pencils, and pens once more. I also had so much fun studying him by using references while illustrating…especially because he's my favorite!

Doing this made me realize just how much I miss creating traditionally and slowly. It resulted in a deep sense of joy and fulfilment I haven't felt in a long while.

[birthdaycandleuponabirthdaycake]

ITS THE UMAI BOI?!!!!!!!

[thorinsbeard]

Favourite Characters: Kyojuro Rengoku

[alshamswelnahr]

just like kokushibo being the one who turns kaigaku into a demon is a choice that is relevant to both of their characters, douma turning gyutaro and daki into demons is also a significant and specific writing choice. it's not a coincidence that he is the one to turn them; it's about children who were failed by adults around them.

I always try to extend the characters the same sympathy gotoge gives them. maybe douma's parents didn't start the cult with bad intentions; they probably believed in the uniqueness of their son, and thought there is a reason behind it—to help others. still, they hurt him. there is no conclusive explanation to douma's 'condition' within the story. it could be the result of his childhood being taken away from him and him being forced to provide emotional and mental support to the adults in his life, or perhaps it was a condition he was born with that made it hard for him to connect with others and his own emotions. but becoming a religious symbol definitely didn't help with his situation. his parents showed more interest in him being a spiritual leader than being a well loved child and that is just in the beginning, with time their good intention was poisoned by greed and power. his dad spent his days using the girls within the cult abusing his position and his mother was too consumed with her anger and the humiliation she endured that she lost sight of everything else including her son. they both burdened their child with a role that would overwhelm even the most trained and prepared adult then abandoned him.

douma was repeatedly failed by the same people who were supposed to care for and love him; instead they were preoccupied with what that child could do for them. so, it is not a surprise that he was the one who turned the shabana's siblings into demons, since they too were failed and abused by every adult in their lives.

despite what the shabana's siblings ended up becoming they were once faultless children who were mistreated from the start. their mother thought of them as burden, and treated them as such. gyutaro was sick and malnourished even being bullied for it, while daki was abused by her mother and exploited by other adults for her beauty.

the adults in their lives took advantage of gyutaro to clean up their mess until he became too violent for them then we see how they had no consideration when it came to getting rid of him. daki was used for her beauty despite her tender age and then cruelly discarded away and easily replaced. up to that point of their lives they hadn't been given kindness or anything really and only viewed in terms of how useful they are to the adults in their lives.

the three of them were once children who were taught that the world functions on give and take basis. that they needed to give (douma) and take (the shabana) in order to survive. that is the same pattern they followed as demons. douma gave his followers "eternity" by eating them and the siblings took and took from others to sustain themselves and raise in the ranks. in both situations there was an imbalance and focus on only one part of the equation. in both situations their immediate group suffered at the hands of the monster they indirectly created, if the upper ranks were treated or raised with love and care, things might have turned up differently.

[birthdaycandleuponabirthdaycake]

Eu seguro uma placa,

"por favor, deixe-me falar sem que haja a necessidade de recompensa. Tira de mim esse desgostoso comportamento mercenário.", e ela usa todas as palavras erradas.

[alshamswelnahr]

I'm always in awe at the transformative power of second chances, to give someone another try at life can be fundamentally healing and rewarding for both parties. Forgiveness is integral to KNY as a story so second chances are important and almost always are portrayed positively.

like in the case of Hakuji who was saved by Keizo's love and capacity to see and treat him as more than a criminal, admirably Keizo met the boy and right away decided that there was something within him that was worth saving, so he took him in and entrusted him with his precious daughter, allowing Hakuji to flourish and embrace his gentle and principled personality. His story is a good example of how punishment and alienation as tempting as they maybe can be extremely destructive and short-sighted, because for Hakuji it was love and positive affirmations that pushed him to be a better version of himself. If Hakuji was dismissed by his teacher then none of the goodness that three experienced would have happened. Keizo poured hope into him and in exchange he became a loyal student, a son and a great support for Koyuki, he loved and saved her until the last moment. If Keizo did not give Hakuji a chance to redeem himself, his daughter would have never found love and he would have never had a son to carry his legacy.

It goes beyond individuality though, because the forgiveness that Yoriichi Tsugukini showed to lady Tamayo altered the entirety of the story. Yoriichi could have easily killed the demon the day he came across her, he would not have been wrong either because Tamayo had made plenty of mistakes up till that point, so killing her would have been justified, but he saw something in her that day: a desperation for Muzan's downfall even if it meant her own death. That really convinced Yoriichi of her earnest desire to change and in turn his belief in her encouraged her to transform herself. After their encounter she started feeding on animals, evading Muzan, and helping humans. Letting her go was the indirect cause behind her encounter with the Kamados, and creating an alliance which helped in creating the poisons that helped in defeating Muzan.

It is the same with Shinjuro and his sons. It was Kyojuro's non-stop belief in his father and his recovery that affected Shinjuro the most. We saw the impact of Shinjuro coming to terms with the devastating loss of his eldest son and his transformation in order for him to become (or go back to) the hero his son always saw in him. Kyojuro worked hard and kept up hope, he saw a better path for his father and made sure that his last words reflected that. Those words became a code and a promise Shinjuro followed to overcome his alcoholism. It was not just those words that guided him but Senjuro's forgiveness as well. We do not witness that forgiveness unfold but it was implied by the end of the story that the youngest son decided to turn a new page and give his dad a chance to redeem himself, which ultimately benefited the both of them.

Finally, one of my favorite examples: Tengen and Kagaya. To Tengen and to the world, he is a killer, Kagaya could have seen him as such and nothing more, instead he gave him a chance to make up for his past mistakes, and never judged him. Kagaya gave him a place within the Corps and complemented his willingness to fight for the innocent, going against everything he was taught since childhood. He accepted and praised Tengen instead of rejecting him, because of that he was able to help with defeating upper moon six and setting off a chain reaction that rippled throughout the story. The defeat of Muzan and the eradication of demons is a feat that would not have been possible without every player and Tengen played a pivotal role.

So, whether it is Keizo giving Hakuji a second chance at life and inadvertently giving his daughter a second chance at life as well, or Yoriichi letting his mercy triumph over his judgment which allowed Tamayo to live and create a poison that stopped Muzan, or Kyojuro and Senjuro's forgiveness allowing their father to heal and return to his old self and to them, or Tengen being allowed to atone instead of being disregard and written off, second chances have the power to transform and better our lives and the world as a whole.

[birthdaycandleuponabirthdaycake]

"Não tem amanhã, tem?" Sussurraria para ninguém em particular, esperando uma resposta que só este continha.

Não existe amanhã, do mesmo jeito que não existe hoje, do mesmo jeito que não existe este momento. Tentaria racionalizar essas frases tão hostis, mas nada sairia de sua boca.

Era patético, o quanto havia se acostumado com isso. O dia a dia, por se dizer. Negando aquela voz de dentro. Flores desabrocharam. Ele faleceu. Da onde vem, esse cheiro?

Cachimbo. Flores cinzas, muitas flores, suficientes para deixar um girassol com inveja. A fumaça se espalha, pintando o céu do amanhecer — ela diria que não, mas era a manhã — e a tarde chegaria. Um velho inútil e nojento, desgosto da alma que lhe habitava o corpo, o seu, não do velho.

E então cairia morto, incapaz de ver o velho e o pôr do sol e o cachimbo.

[birthdaycandleuponabirthdaycake]

Clay is fucking tasty

[avocodas]

It is funny to know that “Akaza” is Hakuji’s middle school embarrassing phase. Being so drunk on martial arts, breaking laws, breaking bones even maybe assisting Douma’s sketchy deals and whatever.

It makes me wonder where Koyuki was when that happened? they were promised to marry each other ever since they were kids so……what happened?

Perhaps if we chose to align some canonical elements and spiced it with Kimetsu Gauken silliness, i think Koyuki travelled for good couple years for medical treatment abroad, leaving Hakuji devastated as he wasn’t enough to help her through her sickness, having school and regular life chores keeping him away from attending Koyuki 24/7. Hakuji blames his human incompetence to be her hero.

To which he resolves the problem by intense immersion in martial arts, having his harted towards his own weakness pushes himself till he is numb minded . The upcoming events are hilarious. Having school being his biggest obstacle in reaching Koyuki when she was around, he is more than glad to break its windows, harm students, draw inappropriate graffiti (to which Uzui feels jealous his drawings are surprisingly good) and at some point, the disciplinary teachers decide to take actions, and escalate as needed.

But here where “Akaza” shines, choosing a cool sounding name. yk thugs life. His weak seniors do not impress him anymore, he wants to fight his teachers, whom he will discard their respectable honorifics… yk thugs life. And most of the time, they'll turn him down.

Kyoujurou could be saying “ No! My duty lies in enlightening students with historical knowledge, i shall not harm anyone, for fun nonetheless!!”

“History is a compensation for the weak *Akaza squints eyes*… We, the strong ones, are shaping the present now. FIGHT ME KYOUJUROU”

“What nonsense is that! Haku- I mean Akaza! you should focus on literature more! Check with Goto-san’s office hours to point out your weaknesses to resolve. “

Honestly, it is the writer’s incompetence in writing structured sentences

BAM

Akaza lands the first hit on Kyoujurou’s left eye

“ I AM NOT WEAK!! NOT IN STRENGTH NOR IN LINGUISTICS”

And in the whole fight is Akaza reciting some Haikus/foreign poems while fighting Kyoujurou…

Giyuu would be more triggered by the thousands dress code violations Akaza did. Pink hair, open vest, loose pants, beads bracelets, tattoos paint…

Giyuu was confused as he found this boyish figure in the school, he is definitely not a yakuza, not with this horrible style, but he is definitely someone he should chase out of the school. Giyuu is a new teacher around that time, he never met Hakuji before, he doesn’t know Akaza is actually a student till later because I chose to :D

This phase continues for a semester, and the teachers are worried about Hakuji’s performance slipping to a point he might be held back. Giyuu is more frustrated at the dress code violations that keep getting worse..

And maybe we fast forward towards the ultimate battle, as Giyuu and Kyoujurou seems to be fond by Akaza, they challenge him into a fight which will decide whether they give him another chance to repent and study or expel him entirely.

Fast forward into another blood bath i can’t describe because all what i know about violence is BOOM BOOM TAKH TAKH.. Kyoujurou and Giyuu are struggling as Akaza went animalistic, they want to ground him not to kill him… confused they agr—

“ Hakuji-san..”

A clear trembling sound come from a little girl holding a luggage, who is sniffing at the sight of this mess, but she looks into the eyes of the man she still loves, even if they were masked with cheap yellow lenses. Ubuyashki comes from behind her with a peace sign and gently asks Hakuji to come into his office.

Hakuji definitely gets consequences, mainly cleaning after Uzui’s bombastic artistic expression, repainting the walls, and apologizing to his seniors one by one.. all while Koyuki is by his side, she is doing a lot better, and they make up for the time spent away from each other.

Also Hakuji needs to ace his exams, otherwise he is gonna be expelled. To which all the teachers are taking turns in handing summaries and resources for Hakuji to study, he was a delinquent for months, but he isn’t bad at core. Stung by their kindness, Hakuji could barely face his teachers, and avoid Kyoujurou and Giyuu as much as possible…

~~~~~~~~

A nice aftermath scene, is at the public library where Hakuji’s pink dye is slowly fading along with the Henna tattoos around his arms (Henna takes time to fade, and Koyuki gets to enjoy the fierce look on her fiance for a bit longer). He still looks delinquent as ever.

“AKAZA I THOUGHT YOU QUIT BEING A DELINQUENT!”

“ UH!!!!!?? Rengoku sensiii!! I AM NOT.. IT IS HAKUJI NOW! I AM STRIVING TO BE A BETTER PERSON! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT!!!”

Hakuji is startled when he was called by his delinquent brand nam . he hopes Rengoku sensei isn’t pointing at his looks as he is having a hard time with it already with Giyuu san.

“ Then what are you reading!! Such violent, dark novels could affect the soul, the young ones especially! You are what you eat, and this metaphor applies to anything humans consume, which isn’t just food! Goto sensi must’ve explained that!!”

Hakuji is blushing harder than he should be, where he wasn’t seeking something for himself..

“… i was choosing a book for Koyuki san...”

“ umu?”

“Koyuki san enjoys reading historical novels, i was choosing a new book to read together.” Hakuji tosses back the book into its place one the shelves” and i guess this isn’t the one…”

“ Then allow me to pick something you two could enjoy!”

“Hehh?? I don’t want to trouble you sensei!!!” Hakuji bows so low as he is touching the floor, to which Kyoujurou didn’t notice as he is already in another section calling Hakuji to follow him

[sgdfgsdg-deactivated20260109]

flowers

[literaryvein]

L. V., excerpts from the afterword

[birthdaycandleuponabirthdaycake]

Purring is surprisingly effective at making you feel good

[birthdaycandleuponabirthdaycake]

Curled up 'n experiencing the massive tiredness of a big event.

My hands came to rest in my knees, at some point, such a way to be a loose prayer — instead of interlocking them, my nails rested one against the other.

It looked like a heart.

We did good. We're thankful for all those we love. Our memory (mine?) is not the best, but there are many names and faces to be committed into forever. I wish I could say thank you enough times, to these, so as to express what I truly mean. I'd not hesitate to get on the ground for them.

Such an action would be pointless, though.

I can only pass on their kindness and the lack of judgement in their faces as they face what can only be described as failure itself; a pathetic being the very definition of hateable. I can only be kind to people who don't deserve it, for the ones that do, to make it even.

(and tell them just enough "thank you"s that they're only mildly creeped out.)

All people are beautiful, poetry. They deserve the world.

I don't think anyone will find this. Hey, I love you!