"Dear Kevin,
I need to say goodbye to someone I care about, someone who is still here, so I am saying it to you.
You were good to me, Kevin, and sometimes when we were together I remembered who I used to be before everything changed. But I was pretending, pretending as if I hadn't lost everything.
I want to believe that it can all go back to the way it was. I want to believe that I'm not surrounded by the abandoned ruin of a dead civilization.
I want to believe that it is still possible to get close to someone--but it's easier not to. It's easier because I'm a coward, and I couldn't take the pain, not again.
I know that's not fair Kevin. You've lost so much too, and you're strong. You're still here. But I can't be, not anymore.
I tried to get better, Kevin. I didn't want to feel this way so I took a shortcut. But it led me right back home, and do you know what I found when I got there? I found them, Kevin, right where I left them. Right where they left me.
It took me three years to accept the truth, but now I know that there's no going back, no fixing it. I'm beyond repair. Maybe we are all beyond repair.
I cant go on the way I'm living, but I don't have the power to die. But I have to move towards something. Anything. I'm not sure where I'm going, just away. Away from all this. I think about a place where nobody will know what happened to me. But then I worry I'll forget them. I don't ever want to forget them. I can't. They were my family.
I think I loved you, Kevin. Maybe you loved me, too. I wish I could say this to you instead of writing it. I wish I could see you one last time to thank you and wish you well and tell you how much you mean to me. But I cant. Like I said, I'm a coward.
So, wish me luck. I think I'm going to need it.
Love, Nora."
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