Babygirl Blues

I'm Michelle (she/her). Some of the links below don't work oops Things I Like 2nd Blog On Mobile?

[yermemeblog]

[guy]

Someone: Wow you're so easy to talk to! I feel like our personalities fit so well together!

Me: thanks i made this one special just for you

[first-ex-wife]

[first-ex-wife]

Bonus:

[pricklylegs-deactivated20250727]

[vampire-crimson]

what the actual fuck

[pidge-gunson-deactivated2018010]

Men don’t know women can pee

[eatyourfacecat-deactivated20250]

ive been sitting on the toilet for 20 minutes trying to piss but the pee keeps getting lost in my confusing Woman Body

[garbashians-deactivated20171116]

i haven’t peed in 16 days… my pee keeps running into the minotaur in the labyrinth that is my Womanly Excretory System

[bisexualbreadstick]

business email glossary

thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"

thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up

would you be so kind: fucking do it

best: i have never physically met you

all best: this conversation is over

all my best: i wish you would die

happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox

i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do

i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to

sorry to chase: answer my email

so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email

i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me

please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem

i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it

i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to

i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to

can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to

per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone

great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone

thanks!: i'm not mad at you

thanks!!: please don't be mad at me

thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk

please advise: this might be your fault

kindly advise: this is entirely your fault

mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator

can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email

sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot

let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again

Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -

Please respect my work process: just do it the way I told you to and stop arguing with me, I don't care what you think

[ruinedchildhood]

#same

[bob-belcher]

[justlarried]

Harry as Arizona Iced Teas 🍹

[wesfanemt333]

[leyorio-deactivated20170725]

[greelin]

what you said was very sweet and means a lot to me but i am incapable of properly responding in any way besides “thank you so much aaaah” because i do not know how to accurately express the exact level of my gratitude to where you completely understand how much what you said meant to me without me getting even more emotional and looking like a fucking nerd: an autobiography

[luminarai]

listen, I’m not the biggest fan of kids but if a child looks at me then you bet I’m gonna smile back at them. kids deserve to experience the world as a kind and safe place to explore okay.

[farmfreshmemes]

[wellbutrinboy]

i have bad handwriting. i’m lonely. and that’s what being gay is all about

[teenytinymoss]

I’m all about that cozy aesthetic with blankets and coffee and books and contentedness

[itooru-deactivated20170702]

reblog if you dont scream at 5am

trying to prove a point to birds

[nerdjpg]

*gets sad* 

me: how can i turn this into a #relatable post and capitalize off of my decreasing self worth?